Title: Hardest Part is Saying Goodbye
Rating: PG
Ships: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Summary: Everyone needs to let go sometime. Perhaps later than never.

"Do you love me Dean?" the ex-angel wondered aloud, cradling his lover in his arms. The pair were draped in each others laps drifting off to the faint music in the background. It was subtle yet cherishing. A moment the two may never forget. Dean edged closer to lock eyes with Castiel who was gazing at him with intensity. As though he wouldn't actually admit it. The eldest Winchester opened his mouth, except no words came. His throat wrenched to find the three words that seemed to be clogged. A year of dating and not once had the hunter uttered the infinite words. Words that could possibly alter his life.

"C-Cas..." was all his voice managed. A broken expression slipped its way onto Castiel's face, written with despair and disappointment. Dean continued to choke for words still not rasping a single syllable. It was over, Dean knew it before it started. He's ruined it. Castiel sighed, then nodded his head in comprehension before removing himself from Dean's lap.

"Another time, Dean." not another word was said from the couple for several days. Sam recognized the silence as well as tension so thick it was practically an aroma. It was only a short matter of time until this was to breach the waters.

Months earlier Castiel had muttered the three words, no hesitation, no breaths to extend the phrase. Afterwards, the Winchester couldn't repeat the phrase and the ex-angel admitted that perhaps it wasn't his time. Everyone had a moment that they knew the character across from them was their piece of the puzzle. It would just seem to click. Assuming afterwards, it was impossible. Time. That's all Castiel had presented to the lone hunter and still not a single ounce of energy could reply. Just a simple phrase seemed to have so much meaning and commitment.

Weeks of preparation and patience, Castiel asked once more, "Dean, do you love me?" it was his moment. Dean had been practicing those simple words in the mirror for days now. Only a few days ago did the pair once again begin speaking to each other. They both apologized and continued chatting about their week, both of them ending it in each other's arms. Honestly, Dean figured that was the end of it. Perhaps that Castiel would forget and never ask Dean again. He'd wait do Dean to make the move.

Not a single word came from Dean's mouth. Inwardly he was aware that he was loosing his angel. They hadn't made love in the last few months and rarely did they kiss anymore. It was just cuddling and talking that kept them together.

To make it up to him, Dean captured Castiel's lips with him. It seemed to take moments before Castiel sighed and kissed back. The hunter brushed against him more aggressively, causing Castiel to whimper with astonishment. Dean smiled inwardly at the thought of his capability to be able to make Castiel whimper. The eldest Winchester proceeded to lock him against the wall while the ex-angel combed his fingers through his short hair. Dean was scraping his hands under Castiel's shirt, petting the hot skin. Both of the men's pants were growing rather uncomfortable.

Castiel tossed his legs around Dean's waist delivering him the intention to allow Dean to carry him to their room. His heart was poisoning, yet he carried the blue eyed man to his room. Kicking he door open with his feet, Dean gently placed Castiel onto the bed, hovering over him.

"Oh no, you're taking it tonight." Castiel roughly stated as they twisted sides. Dean enjoyed this part of Castiel, never had he played bottom before and was ready to make love with him. It had been a while since. Too long.

Castiel's lips moved across his neck's skin, leaving pecks along with bites. Dean stretched his neck go give him access when Castiel moved his lower half against Dean causing the hunter to buck in response. "Stop teasing..." he grumbled. Castiel ignored him by smacking his rear cashing the eldest Winchester to whimper in a reply.

"Get used to that noise," Castiel murmured.

*****

The next morning Castiel wasn't wrapped in Dean's naked arms. Or the next morning. Or the next. Mornings never could come slower when Dean hadn't been accompanied by the ex-angel. Several days later Dean discovered a not that was crumbled into a ball under his bed. Assuming it was once Castiel's he unraveled the paper. His heart raced at the words along with his heart that was slowly cracking. It'd been all of his fault. They'd managed to get so far, and now he lost his angel. His one true chance at being human.

Dear Dean,

Perhaps expressing your feelings is hard... That was an understatement. It's completely difficult. Especially for certain people. Although I'm not willing to force you into come thing you do not desire. One day there might be a chance. One day there may those three words I've been waiting for. Except today is not that day. There's nothing else left for me now, so I've decided to turn myself in to Metatron for the convenience of stopping a war. My belief is that you'll come chasing after me. Therefore, I've decided to hide this message until further notice. Don't blame my death on yourself Dean. I love you, and that's the truth.

Tell Sam that I'm sorry it had ended like this, I'm aware his birthday his soon and I apologize for ruining his holiday. You'll find that I have left a gift under his bed. It's from yours truly.

One last wish, Dean. If you do ever fall in love, perhaps with someone else if you ever did truly love me. Please, please, don't waist it. My simple life isn't worth your suffering.

Yours Truly: Always and Forever,
Cas