The girls still weren't back.

The rain had finally stopped, but the girls still weren't back. It was overcast now. The sun would be going down soon.

I was trying not to worry. It wasn't my style. But I couldn't help but imagine worst case scenarios as the minutes continued to pass. I checked the time again. It was the same as it had been fifteen seconds ago, and the girls still weren't back.

I felt like Sophia.

"Are you sure neither of them have tried to contact you?" I asked Kai, keeping my voice steadier than I felt. I peered anxiously at the direction they'd disappeared in too long ago.

"Both of them left their phones here," Kai shook his head, gesturing back at the towels and our bags of stuff.

A spike of panic shot through me, "What? Why would they—?"

"It wouldn't matter even if they had," Kai said, as if that was supposed to fucking make me feel better. "There's barely any service here, let alone in the caves."

I paced back and forth, huffing frustratedly. I was about ready to tear my hair out, and maybe Kai's for good measure. Why weren't we doing anything? Why wasn't he more worried? It was his twin sister for fuck's sake. How could he be so nonchalant? How could he expect me to just sit on this beach and twiddle my thumbs and wait until they came back? If they were coming back...my stomach clenched uncomfortably. The way it had when I heard my parents fighting all the way in my room upstairs when I was younger, and they way it tried to whenever I thought about future plans. A feeling I rarely experienced because I'd gotten so good at ignoring it.

"So to be clear," I managed through gritted teeth. "They have no way to get help? And we have no way to reach them? How—?"

"Look, man, I know it's tough," shrugged Kai. "But Maia knows what she's doing. If something did happen, she's handling it."

"Oh great," I scoffed, "Maia's handling it." Kai frowned at me sharply, thrown off by the venom in my words.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Maia's the reason they're in this mess!" I said, unable to help myself. I was positively stewing with anger and worry and the knot in my stomach was only growing. And for me, anger was preferable to the anxiety. "The sea caves were her fucking idea, and Sophia wouldn't have even—" I didn't mean it. Not really. But I wasn't being rational now. I didn't feel rational. And all I could think about was the fact that without Maia she wouldn't have gone in there and she'd be with me right now. Safe.

"Sophia chose to go with Maia," he replied in a calm, but warning tone. "She has agency."

"A choice that she wouldn't have made without Maia pushing her to," I shot back, breathing hard. Normally, I wasn't a particularly combative person, but my fists were clenching dangerously at my sides, and my nerves were buzzing hot and fast. "Sophia's not like Maia, you know that. She doesn't do this sort of thing, and maybe Maia knows how to 'handle it', but Sophia's not Maia—" I thought about how cautious Sophia had been when I'd first met her, the genuine fear in her eyes during the plane turbulence. "Maia pushed her too far—"

"Maia did?" Kai cut me off, crossing his arms. He was infuriatingly still. Composed. I could've punched him. "Or could someone here possibly be projecting?" I swallowed. He was dead on, and we both knew it.

There was a low whine in the back of my mind that said...this is your fault. She wouldn't have gone in there if it weren't for you. I thought it was a good thing she was becoming less cautious, but now I wondered if I'd been a bad influence rather than a positive one. Maybe I shouldn't have teased her, given her such a hard time. I couldn't say that to myself. It couldn't be my fault. If she was in danger— it couldn't be because I— you pushed her. You pushed her too far, Jacob. Why couldn't you just leave her alone?

"Shut up," my eyes flashed angrily.

"I think you need to have little more faith in Sophia—"

"If she's hurt—" I growled, knuckles white and tightening every moment. "If she even— I swear to god I'll—" I stepped towards Kai, nostrils flaring. It'd be a fair fight. We were evenly matched in height and general build. Unless, of course, Kai just decided to take it. Which seemed very him.

Kai raised his hands slowly. "Jake," he pacified, backing up slightly, "I know emotions are high, but you look like you want to hit me right now. And I highly advise against—"

"We have returned!" I heard Maia's shout of triumph behind me, and I spun around to find two figures trudging down the beach towards us. They were drenched, and crusted with sand, but otherwise looked completely fine. Maia and Sophia. Sophia. My entire body slackened in relief, any anger or violence draining out of me in one fell swoop. They were okay. She was okay.

"Nice of you to turn up," Kai shouted back at his sister, as they finally made it over to our spot.

"Well, we've had quite an adventure." Maia said lightly, nudging Sophia. "Hope we didn't cause too much panic here."

"Rain caught you off guard, huh?" Kai asked, like he'd known all along. Maybe he had. "You waited it out?"

"Yup," nodded Maia. "It was all fine once it stopped and the tide went down. We just had a little sit."

"Happens to the best of us." Kai ruffled his sister's hair, pulling her into his side, "Glad you're okay, Mai." I saw his shoulders relax slightly as he did it, and it was then I knew that maybe he'd been a little concerned too. Maia wrenched away from him, sticking out her tongue

Sophia still hadn't said anything, but I couldn't help myself any longer, I crushed her in a tight hug. She let out a surprised 'oof', but hugged me back all the same

"Careful," she said, voice muffled against me. "I'm all wet." I could not give a fuck less about that. I released her carefully, searching her face, her hands, for signs that she'd spun out, or was currently spinning out.

"Are you okay?" I asked, catching her eye. She was covered in goosebumps.

"I'm fine," she assured me. "It was just like Maia said. She knew exactly what to do. We just waited. It was fine."

"So you're—"

"I'm fine, Jake," she laughed faintly, splaying her palms across my chest. She looked up at me through dripping lashes, she really was soaked through. "What?" she teased, soft and coy, lips curving deliciously upwards. "Were you worried about me or something, Sherlock?"

"I'd say so," Kai muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. His words broke me out of the Sophia is not dead relief fog, and my behavior leading up to the girls' return came painfully flooding back.

I turned to him, apologetic, "Kai, about earlier—"

"Don't worry about it, dude," he waved me off with a roll of his eyes.

"I really didn't mean—"

"I know," he said, clapping me on the shoulder. "You care about her," he said, hushed so the girls couldn't hear. "A lot, clearly."

Clearly.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Jake?" Sophia's touch sent electricity pulsing through me, her fingertips trailing down my arm for a moment, lingering just slightly.

"Hm?" She was shivering, and I know she'd said she was fine, and I believed her, really. She'd meant it. But I also knew that being fine; it had taken a lot out of her.

"Can you take me home?" she said quietly, hand on her necklace. Her eyes met mine, understanding passing between us so instantly, so familiarly, and I felt the overwhelming urge to hug her again. I wanted to protect her forever, against everything and everyone, no matter the cost. I'd kill anyone who hurt her. I never wanted her to hurt. Never. I will never let anything bad happen to you. The thought appeared in my mind unbidden.

All I could do was nod.

The ride home was mainly silent. Sophia was tired, drained, curled up in the passenger seat in a way that eerily reminded me of the way she'd sat on the plane. She fiddled with the chain the whole way back. I ached to reach my hand across the center console and provide hr some comfort, offer it to her, stroke her hair, or lace my fingers through hers. But I didn't. I couldn't. She didn't want that. Did she? It had started to rain again, and I watched her watch the water slide down the window.

Once we arrived at the house, Sophia went to change and shower while I got started on dinner. I quickly realized that dinner was going to have to be ordered, and I set about finding a redeemable pizza place. My stomach growled loudly. Damn, I was hungry. I made myself a plate of assorted fruit, and scavenged the pantry until I found a bag of popcorn kernels. Hell yeah. It was sad how excited I got. I didn't bother checking the expiration date, as I coated a pot with oil, turning on the burner.

Sophia stepped into the kitchen, fresh from her shower. I glanced up from the stove and my heart soared when I saw what she was wearing. My old Andover football sweatshirt, she was swimming in the deep blue material, hem nearly to her knees.

I loved seeing her in it. She'd never looked so beautiful. Sophia's damp hair took on a slight curl in the humidity, dark coils hanging down her back. Her long, lean, tan legs were complimented by the navy fabric, eyes soft.

I never realized how much I wanted her to wear my clothes until I saw her in them. She could have every single item of clothing I owned if she liked. I'd go stark naked. I didn't care. She tugged at the sleeve self consciously, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "My clothes are soaking and we haven't done laundry in a while so..." she trailed off. "This was one of the only things clean and I— well, I'm still a little cold— do you mind?"

I swallowed hard, trying to act nonchalant, "No. Not at all. I mean— it's cool."

"Thanks," Sophia hopped up onto the counter, bare legs dangling downward.

"No problem," I said, clearing my throat. "You can borrow my clothes whenever, if you want— I don't— I don't mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I nodded. Maybe too hard. And before I could think, my damn mouth went running. "I mean— it looks good on you."

"What?"

"What?" I cleared my throat intensely, feeling my face burn.

Sophia looked positively delighted, kicking at me with her foot, "You're blushing."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, focusing intently on pouring the kernels into the pot and adjusting the heat levels. Yeah, right. I was a fire hydrant in the making. Dogs would urinate on me like crazy.

"Still blushing," she smirked. I stammered out something incoherent. Fuck. It was embarrassing how gone for her I was. How nervous she made me. I was babbling like an idiot. "You're adorable," she tilted her head, blue eyes bright.

I died. Truly. There's nothing quite like a hot girl calling you adorable. It was all I could do not to drag her off the counter right then and there and kiss her until we were both oxygen deprived and giddy.

"Still raining out there, huh?" observed Sophia, looking at the stormy sea out the window. I slurped down a spoonful of passion fruit/

"Yeah. That tropical storm is supposed to pass over us tonight, I think." The first time this had happened, Sophia had nearly blown a gasket, but hurricanes and tropical storms were commonplace here, and more often than not, resulted in twenty to thirty minutes of light rain. They usually petered out before they hit shore. Besides, as long as we were safe inside, and she as well distracted, she'd be fine.

"Whatcha making?" Sophia stole a piece of of mango off my plate.

"Popcorn," I answered, deciding to leave out the part where I didn't check the expiration date. The less she knew about that the better. "But I was about to order pizza." I showed her my phone screen, where I had the site pulled up, the number to call down underneath a banner of red and yellow. There was only one place who'd deliver to us.

"Yum," she nodded her approval as I took another scoop of passionfruit. I raised another to my lips, about to take a bite, but it was snatched from my hands. I watched breathlessly as Sophia's mouth closed over the spoon, my spoon. It was sinful, the way she closed her eyes and sucked— Jesus Christ.

"And yum," she giggled, handing me back the spoon. "Thanks."

"Thief," I managed, flicking her thigh and sucking in air through my teeth gingerly. Nope, not sucking. Think about anything but sucking. Fuck.

"I'm hungry," she retorted with a cute little huff, hopping down from the counter.

"I'm working on it," I said, motioning to the phone in my hand. I was dialing as we spoke, trying my best to recover from the whole shared spoon disaster. For the love of god, could I not catch a break?

"Half pepperoni, no anchovies," reminded Sophia in a whisper as I ordered, propping her chin on my shoulder. She had to stand on her tiptoes to do so, and I about near had a heart attack. Seriously. What was she doing to me? How was I supposed to read this? Is this what friends did? Was this a friend thing to do? Was wearing my clothes and eating food off my plate and this whole chin shoulder business a sign of her friendship. Or was it a sign of her undying love for me? Or was that just wishful thinking on my part?

Listen, I hadn't really ever had a girl friend. Emphasis on the space. To be fair, I hadn't really had a girlfriend (sans space) either. Of course, the one girl I finally really really liked, and I couldn't read her for the life of me.

I flashed back to earlier that day, when I'd nearly ripped Kai's throat out I was so worried. I remembered the look in Sophia's eyes when she turned to me, asking to go home. Home. But she'd looked at me like I was home. Was that how you looked at a friend? Why—

"Jake," Sophia was waving a hand in front of my face. "Hello?"

"Huh— wha—?" I snapped back to the present, caught off guard. There was phone in my hand. Why was there a phone in my hand?

Her brow wrinkled, gesturing to the phone, "Food."

"What?" I said again. God, her eyes were blue.

Sophia rolled her eyes, and before I could blink she had hopped up on my back and grabbed the phone out of my hand. "Yes, hello? So sorry about that." She continued to order but I barely heard her. Mostly due to the fact that her arm was slung around my neck for support and her legs were straddling my waist. Her legs were straddling my waist. I was short circuiting. Okay yes it was piggyback. But I had no idea piggyback could feel this fucking intimate. How could she do this so casually? Like it was completely normal to share spoons and climb on top of me and fit so perfectly around me—

When she hung up the phone and clambered down, I felt lightheaded.

Her blue eyes found mine, and she gazed at me for a long moment. Then, with no warning at all, Sophia wrapped her arms around me and leaned in close, breathing in, eyes closed. I didn't hesitate. I pressed my hand into the small of her back, using the other to cradle her head, smoothing her hair gently. She didn't let go. My arms tightened around her, and I just savored the proximity. The smell of her was intoxicating. I couldn't get enough.

"What's that for?" I asked gently, inhaling. I loosened my grip slightly, but kept her encircled, as her hands drifted upwards.

"Nothing," she hummed, raising her chin to look at me. "Everything."

I wanted to live in this moment forever.

We swayed there together for a moment, in the middle of the kitchen. The only sound coming from the popping kernels and the rain drumming down on the roof outside. I don't think either of us wanted to be the first to let go.

"This is nice," I noted, giving into the desire to tuck a wayward curl behind her ear. Her cheeks went slightly pink.

"Yeah," she murmured, "it is." The popping on the stove got louder, faster. "You're going to burn the popcorn."

"Hm?" I said dazedly. Her mouth was so pretty.

"Jake." I could kiss her. I could kiss her right now. We were so close, anyways. What would happen if I kissed her right now? I wanted to kiss her— "The popcorn," she snapped her fingers, and I jolted into reality.

"Right," I shook my head vigorously back and forth, akin to a dog attempting to dry off, and turned off the heat. How was she so unaffected? I couldn't figure her out. I really couldn't.

The popcorn was not entirely burnt, thought it did lean a tad charred if I was being completely honest. The pizza arrived in a surprisingly reasonable amount of time, and Sophia decided it was a dinner and TV kind of night. So we ate on the couch, rain continuing to pour down outside, waves crashing, while Sophia queued up Criminal Minds episodes. I'd fought for the Great British Baking Show, but had been rudely overruled. Sue me if I didn't want to watch gruesome serial killers and blood while eating, and not to mention, late at night. Sophia was crazy.

She settled back down into the couch happily, having just put the leftover pizza in the fridge, "God, I love him."

"Who?"

"Matthew Gray Gubler," she said, pointing to the screen. "This is one of the sexiest Spencer Reid seasons." I nearly burst out laughing.

"I was right," I muttered lowly to myself.

"What were you right about out?" Sophia turned to me quizzically.

I shook my head, chuckling, "Nothing."

Sophia let out a contented sigh, slightly odd given the fact that we were watching a true crime show, but the sound of it made my entire body fill with warmth. She was closer to me than she had been when we were eating. I wasn't sure if that was purposeful or not. There was plenty of room on the other end of the couch, but here she was, angled towards me.

"This is such a good episode," she adjusted slightly, and then— her head fell gently on my shoulder. I was frozen. I was scared to move. Scared to mess this up. To play this wrong. Whatever this was. The arm closest to her hung awkwardly at my side. Did I dare put it around her? Ever so casually, and as inconspicuously as possible, I slid my arm up and tucked it over her shoulder. Sophia yawned, and then promptly burrowed into me even further.

"Do you want a blanket?"

"You're warm enough," she replied, sliding her hand up my abdomen to my chest.

I took my opportunity and began to gently thread my fingers through the ends of her hair. She made a small noise and my hand stilled. Had I gone too far? Pushed my luck beyond the limit?

"What is it?" I held my breath.

"I just like it when you play with my hair." She let out a short laugh, and I felt the vibration roll through me. That's how close we were cuddled together. "Your heart is beating really fast," she remarked sleepily.

"Really?" I managed in a faint voice, inhaling sharply as she snuggled deeper into my side. "Weird. Maybe I'm dying.'

Sophia peered up at me through half lidded eyes, "Don't do that."

"Why?"

"I'd miss you," she whispered, finally drifting off to sleep. I pressed my nose into her hair, and sighed.

NEW ME ALERT 

like who is she truly?

what an absolute serve

i posted updates within DAYS of each other

DAYS

for this of you who've been here a while

you know i haven't done that since my prime harry potter fanfiction days

like the era of me posting twice in a day was commonplace

she was so young and hopeful and productive 

and had absolutely NOTHING going on in her life

fallen queen fr

ANYWAYs

NEW ME 

iconic, i ate up

i ate down

i ate all the ways

COMMENT DO IT SLAY THE DAY

COMMENT ACTUALLY

IM SO REAL PLEASE COMMENT

xxx,

colleen

oh yeah one more thing

COMMENT

luv ya!