tw// pills, nasty shade, and oding

***

My felt my heart rise into my throat, "SHIT, SHIT, SHIT." I yelled, scaring Taz, running out of her bed and into the hallway.

Hayden: JOSH, NOT LIKE THAT, PLEASE.

Mauler of the Drums: Just, why? I trusted you. And you go and get pregnant while I'm on tour? That's low, Hayden. Really low.

I started to type faster, my fear growing, my hands trembling.

Hayden: It isn't like that, honestly.

Mauler of the Drums: Haha, it looks like that perfectly. Thanks for wasting my time.

I started to cry, unable to explain myself, and I threw my phone across the room, not caring if it cracked. I heard my mirror shatter, my phone hitting it.

I sat up, and looked at the damage. My mirror was broken, some pieces fallen onto my dresser, and on the floor.

My lip quivered, and I got back up, and grabbed my phone, getting onto Twitter. I leaned against my dresser trying not to drop my phone, from my shaking hands.

'@haydensdoubt:

Alone, badly explained myself, pregnant. Don't expect me to be any happier.'

The tweet was liked and retweeted, some people freaking out, some others joyful, and most confused.

I read the replies, and responded to a few, needing to explain myself to the Clique, hoping Josh saw the replies.

'Wait Josh broke up with you and you're pregnant??'

'@haydensdoubt:

yes'

'are you pregnant with his kid, or did you cheat'

'@haydensdoubt:

maybe, maybe not. not saying right now, sorry, i'm going to wait and tell you all when I'm ready'

'how did you get pregnant omg'

'@haydensdoubt:

look up 'how babies are made', and you'll get your answer.'

'y tho'

'@haydensdoubt:

how about you ask the king himself.'

I finished answering most tweets, and set my phone down on the floor, not able to feel anything.

I walked over to my bathroom, and opening the medicine cabinet, and gabbing my anti-depression pills. And took about 2 or three, 2 or three more I should have been taking.

I got water from the tap, and used that to drink the pills. I looked back over at the open bottle, and took out about the remaining 10 I had left, and put them in my mouth, getting more water and drank it, downing the pills.

I took a photo of the empty bottle, and put it on Instagram with the caption, 'Can't be with who I want, made a silly mistake, 2 lives will be lost then. By the way, I didn't cheat on you. Thanks.'

The comments were going crazy, asking what was happening, and my vision started to blur, and I could feel my heart rate speed up, and my body temperature rising.

I got on Twitter quickly, against and tweeted something quicker than I have ever done.

'Mexican Clique, call Josh, or Tyler, please, what have I done'

**

oh

oh

oh

oh

sorry :))