•

"kim taehyung, you've been invited to lee joongi and nam ara's wedding..." his eyes traveled the printed inscription as his fingers traced her name. not even if he blinked twice, the letters would vanish. they were there. it was happening.

he felt as if his heart had been stabbed thousand of times. slowly he sat back on the chair as he felt his eyes getting cloudy. the pain on his chest was not to ignore, it was there. he pushed the invitation towards the desk and took his hand to his chest, trying to breathe slowly, hoping the pain would go away. drops of sweat were falling through his forehead, mixing with the tears coming from his green eyes. 

just thinking about it made his whole body ache. not so long ago, in fact that same morning he was with her in his apartment and she never mentioned anything about it, it certainly broke taehyung's heart.

even though he tried to find an excuse just to be on her side, he couldn't. there was no way he would excuse her desire to keep up with the wedding. taehyung felt it was a betrayal, as if she was betraying what they had.

the most obvious choice for taehyung was to skip the wedding. he knew that on joongi's eyes he was still his lawyer and probably, dear friend, but he couldn't attend a wedding in which the bride was the love of his life. just the thought of seeing ara marrying another man, especially if it's was a monster like lee joongi just made taehyung panic. 

he thought about calling her and demanding an explanation but if the wedding invitations had been sent already, he knew there wasn't too much to do. what hurt him the most was the fact she was at his house that morning and she didn't mention anything to him.

taehyung grabbed the invitation and gave it one last look. inside there was a two-people ticket and he chuckled bitterly at the image of it. he thought maybe joongi gave him those tickets so he could bring hoseok. taehyung couldn't help but think how naïve joongi was, when in reality that second ticket was more meant to be for the bride instead of hoseok.

but that morning he felt like trash. he couldn't sleep at all that night, he tried and even drank a whole whiskey bottle in hopes that that would knock him down so he could finally have a peaceful sleeping night but it was useless.

the hours passed slowly, even for him that's been around for so long. he had skipped work a few days in the past weeks. sometimes he would just wake up and look at himself in the mirror, hating the image of him and hating everything around him, just to grab his phone and text naeji he wouldn't be coming to work that day. the thought of going out of his house somehow gave him physical pain and he hated the idea. that would happen often, especially those weeks prior to the big event.

he listened his phone ringing against the cold metal of his nightstand. he sighed heavily as his eyes remained lost at the small lights in the sky, through the window. he hadn't realized it was night already. the phone kept ringing and taehyung counted that was the 12th call in less than 20 minutes.

rolling his eyes, he rolled over to the other side of the bed and finally grabbed the phone. a selfie of his blonde friend, smiling with his mouth full of cake appeared on the screen along with his name. he sighed, closing his eyes as he anticipated the nature of that call. without avoiding even more the situation he finally answered the call.

"hello-

"ahh thanks god! man... i've been calling you non-stop for the past hours, what's wrong with you? i thought you were dead! don't scare me like this, how can you not answer your phone? i called naeji, she said you wouldn't come today too, what's wrong? are you sick? are you going through some phase? are you going through puberty perhaps?"

taehyung sighed at hoseok's weird yet funny antics. he didn't want to laugh, it wasn't exactly the best moments for jokes.

"i was just tired."

"of what? you haven't been in the office this whole week and today is friday! what you've been doing taehyung? answer me! i am outside your building, i brought some beers, open the door!"

he rolled his green eyes as he walked towards the window. he noticed hoseok's silver audi downstairs, he was leaning against it with what seemed to be a six pack of beers. taehyung sighed as he walked towards the intercom to give the janitor the order to let hoseok in.

"i'll see you upstairs." hoseok said hanging up. 

taehyung looked around the apartment. it was a complete disaster. there were dirty clothes around, empty beer cans around scattered among candy wrappers and empty food boxes. a few whiskey bottles on top of the coffee table, shoes around, taehyung's laptop opened in one of the couches, all tv's turned on in a random channel.

he sighed at the view and didn't even bother to clean a bit since hoseok was on his way there. but he didn't want to clean either, he wasn't in the mood.

the bell rang and taehyung walked carelessly towards it as he could hear hoseok's voice already coming from behind it.

"taehyung?" he called him. 

he knew his friend cared about him and deep inside he was thankful for him making all this way just to check if taehyung was alright, but very very deep inside. in reality taehyung didn't want to see anybody's face. he even paid the janitor so he could get him some food and that whole week he's been ordering delivery too.

once he opened the door, hoseok's mouth dropped. he took a step back, surprised at the image of the once handsome ceo and best friend, kim taehyung. "oh my god... what happened to you?" he said pushing the door open and coming inside the apartment, removing his shoes as if he was used to, knowing already its place among the rest of the shoes.

taehyung rolled his eyes as he walked carelessly inside the apartment, hoseok followed him. "why do you look like this?"

"how?" taehyung turned around, facing hoseok's face who had eyes narrowed and head tilted to one side.

"like a western model." he said. for the first time in weeks taehyung couldn't hold his laugh back. it was a stupid yet a funny comparison. "what are you even-

"think about it, the long hair and the beard? women would die to see you like this, can you imagine if you went to the firm like this? i want to see the secretaries faces lighting up, seriously."

taehyung shook his head, deep inside thanking his friend that just for a single moment he made him forget about what day was and why it was the worst day of this life.

"it's like tarzan in the middle of the 21st century, seriously... tired of being a lawyer? want to be a model instead? you could do it man. i'll support you, i can even be your manager if you ask me to-

"hoseok." taehyung called his name, in a sweet but steady voice. he have had enough and it was time for hoseok to shut up. the blonde immediately understood and nodded, signaling with his fingers as if he would zipper his mouth..

"beer?" he asked instead, taehyung just nodded as he walked towards the living room. hoseok's eyes widened at the horrors in there. the blonde was super clean and tidy and seeing taehyung's beautiful apartment in such conditions just caused him physical pain.

his face was a poem, grimacing as if he was being stabbed on the back. "i won't ask, don't worry." he said once he felt taehyung's glares.

they both sat on the less dirty couch and hoseok opened two beer cans, handing one to taehyung, who just thanked him with a small nod. 

"so... are you going to tell me?"

"i thought you said you wouldn't ask." taehyung quickly barked. hoseok chuckled and looked at him with a straight face then. "ok now tell me, what's bothering you? why you look like a beggar now?" but just as hoseok finished that sentence, his mind worked different ways and his eyes widened. "is the law firm going bankruptcy?" taehyung only glared at him.

"okay, okay... does this has something to do with jeon jansook's grandson? jungkook?" but taehyung simply sighed, shaking his head in negation. he almost forgot about the whole jungkook situation but inside he thanked hoseok for taking care of that. he was now behind bars, where he should be.

"then what is it?"

he didn't want to reveal it all, not to hoseok. he worried what his friend might think of him but he knew he didn't have an exit, the blonde had made his way to taehyung's apartment just to ask what was happening with him and he knew there was no escape.

checking his clock, he sighed as he grabbed the remote to look for an specific entertainment news channel. hoseok followed the scene with his eyes. a wedding.

"a movie? are you sad because of a movie?" taehyung glared at him. soon hoseok realized it wasn't a movie, it was a real life wedding. his eyes automatically narrowed when he thought he recognized the couple on the screen.

"ohh... is that- he stopped talking to turn around and look at his friend. hands clenched and unhappy expression. "hey man... are you alright?"

the green eyed sighed and finally shook his head. hoseok returned his eyes to the screen as he watched the news of their wedding being announced on national tv. his mind working in all directions as he tried to put the puzzle together. "her?"

taehyung's eyes met hoseok's. words weren't needed. the blonde knew his friend, and he knew he had hit the nail on the head. "you and her?" taehyung just nodded, a soft, almost invisible nod.

hoseok's eyes widened in shock, desbelief covering his face. "h-how? when?!" he exclaimed. taehyung's eyes remained on the screen as he saw her looking stunning as always in a white long sleeved dress. her orange hair tied in a high bun. smilling at the cameras as she held onto her new husband's arm. 

they looked like an ordinary happy couple and taehyung couldn't help but wonder if it had been all a lie? if she only had played him just to get on his sheets and heart.

the thought of being played by her, from all the women in the world, her, just made him sick and it broke his heart completely. he had tried to call her in the past few weeks but apparently she either changed her number or decided to completely ignore his calls. it was useless.

"taehyung..." hoseok's soft voice next to him awakened him from his daydream. he turned to look at his friend, who had a worried expression. "since when?" he only asked.

taehyung wanted to tell the truth, for the first time in his whole life, he wanted to say. "since forever." but he knew it would sound ridiculous for hoseok. his friend would only think that kim taehyung was just crazy.

"i don't know, a few months ago."

hoseok nodded, apparently his thoughts made sense, all the pieces fitting together. "how?" he asked.

"it just... happened."

"do you love her?" hoseok asked without stammering. taehyung's eyes widened as he repeated hoseok's question on his mind.

did he love her?

he has loved, yes. the two previous aras but... did he really love nam ara?

he did.

and that's why he was so resigned and heart broken, because the love of his life got married a few days ago and he couldn't do anything about it.

"why did you record this? stop looking at it!" hoseok exclaimed, grabbing the remote from taehyung's hands and turning off the tv. the green eyed sighed, looking away, as he drank a sip of his beer.

"when did this happen?"

"tuesday."

"did she at least... call you?" but instead of receiving a vocal answer, hoseok only got taehyung's tired eyes, that answered to hoseok exactly what he wanted to know.

"ahh... i can't believe it! she's just not worthy of you-

"hoseok..." he called the blonde's name softly. hoseok stopped on his tracks and turned to look at his friend. he admitted that taehyung looked like he's been through quite a lot.

"i am thankful you came here to check on me... but i would like to be alone for the rest of the night-

"tae-

"please." he said serious, his deep voice echoing inside the big espacious room. hoseok understood that even if taehyung was his best friend, he was still his president and he owned him respect, even if hoseok was older for a few months or at least that's what he thought.

"alright, okay... i just wanted to see your face and to see you if you were alive." hoseok said standing from the couch, taehyung followed him to the door.

"i am fine, don't worry about me. i'll return to work on monday." taehyung said with tired eyes and raspy voice. hoseok understood he wanted to be alone and that he was no one to say otherwise.

"okay just... call me if you need anything." taehyung just nodded as he opened the door for hoseok. he walked outside of the apartment but taehyung grabbed his arm to stop him.

"hoseok, thanks." he said smiling sadly as he closed the door between them. 

he was back at being alone and he hated it, but what he hated the most, was the fact that even if hoseok came to give him some company he felt even more alone. he couldn't reciprocate hoseok's conversations, nor laugh at his stupid jokes or basically answer his questions, and he felt bad for his friend at some point but he prefered being alone.

he walked to the kitchen to grab a water bottle when his phone beeped. he pulled it from his pocket and when he read her name on the screen his heart stopped. almost in a milisecond, he opened the text to read the words.

ara: taehyung... i need to see you tonight, please come to the same hotel, same room. i'll be waiting.

for a moment he thought he was hallucinating but his eyes read the words repeatedly as the only way he knew to make sure it was real. without really even giving second thoughts he ran towards the bathroom to take a shower. he was mad at her, he hated her for an instant but he didn't have time to think about it, he needed to see her first.

he grabbed a pair of black jeans, black boots and a light grey shirt. checking once more in the mirror, he could finally recognice the man in the reflection. with his beard now gone, his hair was definitely longer than before, just right under his chin, but he didn't have time to stop on a barber shop on the way, he needed to see her first.

after grabbing the car keys, phone and a coat, he did his way out of his apartment for the first time in the last 12 days. the cold breeze hit his face like a truck. he shivered under the coat as he tried to fit the keys in the car, hands nervously moving around, stumbling against anything on its way.

once he finally noticed the familiar panoramic view, his heart raced just at the thought of her being there, inside one of those rooms, just waiting to see him, waiting for him.

he parked his car a few blocks away and walked towards the hotel. after taking the elevator, he felt his heart was to come out of his chest at any minute, and even more then the red numbers and the loud beep indicated him that he had reached his destination.

walking out of the elevator awkwardly as he looked for the room's number, once he finally reached it he sighed, running a hand through his long black locks as he couldn't believe he was about to see her again. with all the rush he didn't think about the consequences. she was a married woman now and that whole situation was dangerous, not only for her but for the both of them.

after swallowing hard he put a hand on the cold wooden surface of the room's door and breathed in before knocking three times. exactly a few seconds after the door opened to reveal a pair of big brown eyes filling with tears at the instant their eyes met.

"taehyung..." her sweet voice filled his ears as she quickly wrapped her arms around him, bringing him close to her and inside the room.

he was taken aback by the sudden display of affection, not that he was complaining about it but he certainly did not expect it. he stood there motionless, wrapped between her tiny arms. "tae..." she whispered then in the crook of his neck. he couldn't help but close his eyes and getting lost on her, calling his name.

"i am s-sorry..." she started as tears started streaming down her cheeks. taehyung looked down at her, her cheeks flushed with a bright pink. he couldn't help but think that even crying she looked beautiful.

he blinked twice, trying to prevent his own tears from falling and just listened to her. "i shouldn't have- she ran a hand through her hair, taking a step back, away from taehyung's body.

instead he took one towards her, grabbing her by her forearms and bringing her close to him, wrapping his strong arms around her, locking her in a thight hug. 

for a moment she forgot about everything and breathed. that was the break she needed in her life right in that moment. taehyung was her break, her remedy, her balm. she didn't know how much she needed him until right then, after he hugged her.

she kept crying as repentance filled her heart. "what have i done?" she asked to him and to herself between sobs. taehyung hushed her softly, as he caressed her ponytail. it was as soft as he rememebered it and it smelled exactly the same.

"it's okay." he tried to calm her down. taehyung couldn't understand why but that what his natural reaction upon seeing her upset like that.

"taehyung..."she called him, leaning her head backwards, looking for his beautiful green eyes. once he looked back at her, she felt weak on her knees and cursed herself mentally for everything. no man has ever made her feel like taehyung did and that's why she hated herself, because she was now married to a man and that man wasn't kim taehyung.

"what is it?"

"i am not happy." 

    •