"As long as they don't know" has been Jungwon's motif for a little too long now, as sneaking around with Heeseung felt more natural than it probably should have.

Almost as if his little secret had completely prepared him for keeping even more. What was another lie piled onto the mountain that he called his life?

Still, the older boy was unpredictable at times.

Sometimes, Jungwon was just standing in the kitchen doing the dishes when arms snaked around his waist and a face nestled into his shoulder until he was caged against the kitchen counter, cathching him completely off guard.

Other times, Heeseung would avoid meeting his eyes across the room and when he accidentally did, he would blush like a little girl.

There were so many layers to the change in their situationship that it gave Jungwon whiplash.

Never before had he noticed how Heeseung's eyes also lit up when they settled on Jungwon, or how his hands slightly shook in anticipation when they were waiting for everyone to go to sleep after their pack movie nights just to be hugged the tiniest bit closer to his hyung than before. In a way no one would have even questioned it.

Jungwon loved that one second Heeseung got nervous because of him and the next he'd be pressed against a locked door and met with hot lips on his.

They met up in training rooms, bathrooms, empty hallways, changing rooms and  of course, Heeseung's bedroom, just to fool around.

And Jungwon lived for the feeling of Heeseung pressed close to him, hickey forming on his neck, cheeks red and breath going rapidly.

When his Hyung's hair glid through his fingers and his groans were muffled by his own, he couldn't even feel his head spinning with nausea as his pill intake increased steadily.

Once, as he laid in his Hyung's arms, he looked at him intently as Heeseung was thinking intensely once again.

"You don't think it's weird? Kissing an alpha? You don't think I'm weird, right?" He loved to see his hyung so vulnerable with him, but he hated to be the cause of his worries.

"What, would you rather want me to be an omega instead?" He still asked playfully, but in reality, he was getting more insecure about his identity and his secrets, the more comfortable he got with his hyung.

Heeseung just hummed thoughtfully and played with Jungwon's fingers before answering, "I did a lot of thinking lately... I just don't think it matters at this point. Jungwon-ah, i dont think you realise how bad i've got it for you."

He paused, just to intertwine his fingers with Jungwon's now, before pulling them towards his face and leaving a small kiss on the back of Jungwon's hand.

"If we really always needed stereotypical relationships....how would betas ever find happiness? They don't just always fall for other betas either." Heeseung continued letting all of his thoughts flow out of his mouth freely as he trusted Jungwon not to judge him in any way.

"You really mean that, hyung?"

"Yes, I really do."

He didn't feel the weird feeling in his stomach that made him feel sick and lose his appetite completely anymore when he was with Heeseung.

He never noticed the shakes that rang through his bones, when he had only taken 1 single pill on the day he was waiting for his next pill delivery to arrive, the withdrawal symptoms were overshadowed by Heeseung.

His heart beating rapidly due to his unhealthy drug use suddenly fell under the pretence of butterflies.

His shortness of breath was now Heeseung stealing his oxygen with kisses.

The nausea equalled a roller coaster of emotions and hormones the oldest triggered within him.

He wasn't hungry, but just because of how full of love he was for the boy who looked at him with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. Not the drugs coursing through his veins.

When he couldn't sleep, he just daydreamed of heeseung instead.

Jungwon was fine.

Actually, he was more than fine.

Despite the shakes and the aches, his performance today had been the greatest it's been in weeks.

He almost couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched his members in the big wall of mirrors in front of him.

They were so in sync and Jungwon loved the squeaks of their shoes and the synchronised steps echoing across the room as their instructor counted their steps.

Adrenaline lit him on fire and he could have laughed out loud like a maniac when the familiar feeling of bliss rose within his tired limbs that he missed so dearly.

He lived for this feeling.

They looked good, Jungwon had to admit.

His own body waves looked fluid and his angles especially clean today.

He felt proud. He was absolutely in his element.

At least he thought so until the music abpurbtly stopped.

"Jungwon, are you even paying attention? You're not a fairy, stop trying to look like one, put more power into it."

Stunned for a second, his brows furrowed, but he nodded obediently.

Maybe he had been getting a little lost in his movements.

"Yes, teacher."

"Again"

The annoyed looking man called from his position in front of them.

Jungwon felt his gaze linger on him a little longer than he liked, but being judged in his every move was part of the job and not something that was new to him.

So they went over the song again, and again, and again.

And with every repetition, the leader questioned himself more.

Did he look too feminine when dancing? Was this enough power now? Should he stomp to at least sound more powerful?

What the hell did he even mean with that? Are fairies bad?

"More, Jungwon, More!"

And so Jungwon put his everything into it.

Despite it being meant to be a simple practice to make sure none of them forgot their moves, it suddenly turned more serious than ever before.

More

But what was more?

Jungwon didn't notice his members' concerned glances as the instructor kept screaming for "more" and "stronger" He just kept dancing.

"Alright, that's enough!" the man called out after what felt like eternity.

He didn't seem satisfied at all but he called it a day as instead of stronger, Jungwon's movement just started faltering and lacking power as his body neared its limit.

The initial satisfaction he had felt dropped with his heart as he repeatedly failed to fulfil their requirements.

A bottle of water was passed to him by Sunghoon, who, along with Sunoo, mustered him in concern as Heeseung placed a towel around Jungwon's neck to catch the sweat dripping down his hair.

Weird, he thought absentmindedly. He didn't usually sweat that much, even after whole concerts.

But sweat was the least of his problems as the instructor and a manager made their way towards him, before he could be pulled along with his hyungs to go back to their dorms and wash up.

The way their eyes bore into him already gave away that he wasn't going to like what they had to say, so he gestured for his members to go ahead, not wanting them to hear what was about to be said.

"Are you feeling alright today, Jungwon?" His manager asked him kindly.

It was clearly only rethorical kindness, as the question lacked any real concern, so Jungwon just nodded.

"Jungwon-ah, I understand this might come as a surprise to you, but it has come to our attention that there has been a drastic increase of concerns online about your lack of presentation." The manager proceeded to explain.

But Jungwon wasn't surprised at all.

He had seen all the posts on twitter praising Niki for his presentation, fantasising about him in disgusting ways and asking more and more questions about "what about Jungwon?", "Is he already presented and we just don't know it yet" and the worst ones "even Niki would have been a better leader" because the youngest alpha would be a better leader to a pack than a puppy.

He loved Niki, but that still stung.

He's seen the awful amount of hate rolling in.

"We tried to wait it out, but with Niki presenting, we had to make a decision." The manager dared to look at him with fake empathy.

"PR and management team have decided that you'll be marketed as a presented Alpha starting next week."

Eventhough this had been his plan all along, something within him died at that second.

"There will be an emergency meeting held tomorrow that you will need to attend. We will formulate a statement together and have you read it in a video message to Engene about how you finally 'presented'."

A Comforting hand placed onto his shoulder and Jungwon had to clench his hand to not shake it off in disgust.

"As you saw today, we need you to play your part until your alpha actually presents. Your instructors are already informed."

The man next to his manager nodded to support the claim.

"So you want me to lie to Engene?" He hadn't meant to put sound to his thought, but his mouth worked quicker than his mind.

"We see it more as a.." The instructor paused "'fake it till you make it' strategy."

And Jungwon hated the way his eyes slid from his head to his feet, scanning him like he was a bug in a unicorn costume.

As if he was never going to "make it".

"It" being becoming a strong and oh so superior alpha.

For the first time, Jungwon wondered if he actually wanted to fit the standards of someone that looked at people with so much prejudice. If fitting their view actually would make him a good person for Engene, a good leader.

But still, he nodded, once again. The finality with in those words told him there was no room for arguments anyway. "I understand."

He understood that this wasn't something he could control anymore.

And the nausea was back.

After politely dismissing himself, he finally stumbled towards the waiting van.

His members looked exhausted and many of them had their eyes closed.

Jake was leaning onto Jay and Sunoo was cuddled up to Heeseung while the others were listening to music and staring out of the windows of the unmoving car.

He debated breaking the news of his presentation announcement to them as soon as he saw them, but their drained faces quickly changed his mind.

He would let them eat and shower first. But letting them find out through the news was just something he couldn't allow.

And he would have to call his parents too, he realised with fear.

His parents who were there when he presented as an omega, his parents, who bought him suppressants thinking his company knew about his status and just didn't want to endanger their son by keeping it under wraps.

His parents, who, like everyone, Jungwon had lied to.

The nausea doubled as his thoughts spiraled on their way to the dorms.

It was afternoon and the traffic was bad as could be and the more time Jungwons mind had to think, the more anxious he got.

When they finally arrived, he called dibs on the shower and no one protested as they had witnessed his extra efforts that day.

The hot water was scolding his skin, but as soon as he stepped out of the stream, his limbs felt icey cold again.

He applied his neutraliser as usual and his eyes automatically drifted towards the hidden bottle of pills he hid next to the spray in the cupboard under the sink.

But he knew it was empty.

Still, his hand shook it up and down in hopes he had miscounted. But no sound was heard, not a single pill rattling along the walls of the tiny object.

A frustrated sigh and some cold water into his face later, his shakey hands put it back into its hiding place, not willing to discard the empty bottle.

Someone could see it in their trash, he reasoned, but really, he just felt weirdly attached to it.

From the outside, he could pretend there was more inside. That he couldn't lose control because he could always fall back onto his little helpers if he needed to.

Around an hour later, all of them had showered and Sunghoon had taken it upon himself to order food, some type of an abundance of meat, Jungwon was sure.

"Jungwon-hyung?"

Niki looked at him, hair slightly damp from his shower, before settling next to him on the couch.

Almost automatically,  Jungwon's hands reached for the towel in Niki's hands and proceeded to rub his youngest hair dry gently. He couldn't have a sick alpha puppy added to his worries.

"Hey" Niki complained half heartedly as icy fongers touched his skin, not at all pulling away from his hyungs administrations.

But Niki did feel something very off about him.

The usually bright humm that he felt through their bind was jittery and jumpy, Jungwon's sweet scent more similar to a burned marshmallow than caramell.

"You wanna talk about it, Hyung?"

"No, not really. But we'll have to anyways." At least with Niki he could be honest. And he wasn't going to ruin this last chance at being truly Jungwon now.

"What did they tell you, Hyung?"

"They just told me everything I already knew. I don't know why I'm reacting like this, to be honest. Can you do me a favour, baby?"

He knew the other wasn't that much younger them him, but he loved to tease him about it anyway, as Niki's nose scrunched up adorably at that nickname.

"Hmpf" Niki huffed but agreed anyways.

"Can you call the others. Dinner should be here soon anyways and I'll tell you all about what they told me, okay?"

Despite not wanting to leave the older boy alone, Niki reluctantly stood to gather the others.

As Niki left, Jungwon's mind raced. He hadn't really thought about what exactly he would tell them yet. And despite his best efforts, his mind kept drifting back to his parents, the bottle of medicine flashing before his minds eye.

His skin crawled as he wondered how he was going to keep restocking his supply if his parents found out he had lied to his company.

The thought of disguising himself to wander the streets at night to find some shady dealer in a back alley gave him goosebumps, but the thought of going out in broad daylight, easily recognisable for paparazzi to run to a doctor and a pharmacy and get prescription pills for omegas, was even worse.

He rubbed away at his arms, trying to shoo away the goosebumps forming on his skin as Jay and Heeseung entered the room, looking much more presentable than before.

"Is the food here yet?" Jay asked, settling down next to him.

"Do you see it anywhere, Hyung?" Jungwon asked rethorically.

"Feeling sassy, are we?" Heeseung asked, chuckling as he knuffed into Jungwon's side, luckily not mad at his attitude.

One of his comping mechanisms had always been sarcasm and the irritation that ate away at nerves as his anxiety increased wasn't helping his case either.

"Sorry, Jay-Hyung. " He mumbled.

Sunoo, a sheet mask adorning his face, follwed soon after.

Sunghoon and Jake walked in together with Niki, chatting animatedly, skin glowing healthily after they had showered.

Jungwon was a little jealous about that, as his own skin looked ashey and dead from exhaustion when he looked at himself in the mirror earlier.

His round cheeks weren't really as soft and round anymore and the lack of colour in his complexion made him appear almost as sickly as he felt. His concealer once meant to hide his dark circles almost looked too dark on his skin now, so he didn't even bother using it much anymore.

Before they could take their seats around the table and Niki could start repeating all the questions Jungwon had spotted in his eyes as he looked around their faces, the door bell rang.

"Oh, the food! I'll get it!"

Sunghoon had jumped excitedly on at the sound and practically ran towards the door.

Jungwon's phone beside him signified a new notification, but he ignored the noisy device for now.

It was a good thing, Jungwon mused, if they had food to distract themselves while he broke the news to them, maybe they wouldn't ask so many questions.

And if he kept talking while they ate, maybe he they also wouldn't question his lack of appetite and he wouldn't feel forced to fill his queasy upset stomach with substance that could make its way out again later.

The nauseous feeling probably didn't mix well with food and thinking about the smell of food alone made his gut twist uncomfortably.

But when Sunghoon returned, there was no food in sight. Instead of plastic bags filled with various meat dishes, there was only a small carton package cube in his hands and his fingers were already curiously digging into the tape that concealed the content.

Jungwon's heart dropped before accelerating in suspicion.

"What is that?"

His voice came out an octave higher than intended.

"This?" Sunghoon held up the little packet. "I don't know. It was dropped off in front of our door. It wasn't the food."

He eyed it almost sadly, apparently already mourning the extra minutes he would have to wait for his meal.

"Did any of you order anything?"

Heads shook left and right and as Sunghoon's finger proceeded, prying off more and more off the stubborn packaging, Jungwon rose from his seat to snatch the suspicious box out of his hands.

"I'll take that!" But before his now sweaty hands could securely grip the mystery box, Heeseung had already taken it.

"It doesn't even have a name on it. It could be dangerous. No one is opening that alone."

His protectiveness was admirable and any other day, Jungwon might have swooned at his caringness, but right now a single look at his phone screen sent Jungwon into hyperventilation as Heeseung sat back down, box in hand and everyone stared at the parcel.

The notification read:

Mom

I dropped your prescription off at the door like you asked, honey.

Sent 06.12 pm

His worst fear was now confirmed and without wasting a single further second, he reached out again.

"It's mine! I ordered something online and my mom dropped it off for me!"

His voice was rushed and panicked and Niki looked at him with raised eyebrows, feeling the others panic taking over, as his heart hammered against his chest relentlessly.

"But if you ordered it why is there no name? No adress? Not even your mother's?" Jake asked confused.

"If it's yours, then what's in it?" Sunoo asked curiously.

"Jungwon, we can't be sure it's actually your order, it could be a stalker fan leaving something dangerous." Jay reasoned before passing scissors they had originally prepared to cut the meat to Heeseung to open the stubborn packaging.

Helplessly, Jungwon watched as he opened the first and then the final flap of card board after cutting the tape by dragging one side of the siccors across, calling a last desperate "No! Don't!" with tears collecting at his waterline.

Heeseung reached inside to take out a little slightly orangey-brownly tinted glass bottle, which rattled familiarly as the oldest's slim long fingers lifted it into the light, and everyone held their breath in anticipation, curious to see whether the mystery package actually held any dangerous objects.

But Jungwon held his breath in fear.

And as Heeseung turned the bottle in his grip slowly, reading the little font that spelled the drug's name out loud, the pair of scissors dropped and a scandalised gasped left Sunoo's lips, his hand covering his mouth in shock right after.

"What-?" Sunoo croaked out, recognising the name of the drug used to control Omegas and their cycles in an instant. The drug that once almost killed his sister.

Maybe, Jungwon thought, maybe he could still say it wasn't his package. He could still say it was a crazy fan.

But another glance into the box destroyed all his hopes.

Between Heeseung's fingers was a little peace of paper. A medical warning.

"Caution, this is a prescription drug. Keep out of the hands of children. Take only with medical adivisal. Not compatible with pregnancy!"

No crazy stalker would send the mendatory medical warning along with their poison.

Only his mother would, to remind Jungwon to be careful when handling the dangerous medicine.

Every set of eyes in the room fixated on Jungwon accusingly.

Some where confused, like Heeseung and Sunghoon, others angry or disappointed, like Jake and Sunoo.

And then there was Niki, who looked at him with so much fear and disbelief and genuine sadness, that Jungwon's entire world came crashing down on him.

"What the fuck, Jungwon!" Never had Niki cursed at him like that before.

"Please tell me those aren't what I think they are!" Sunoo cried out, hurt now mixing into his voice as his eyes gleamed at him accusingly.

But Jungwon sat completely still, shock keeping him frozen in his place.

"Jungwon, if what you called us here for is to give me those, I don't ever want to talk to you again! I don't care if it's management's orders or if you're just an omegaphobic asshole but I'm not taking drugs to kill of my wolf like that!"

No one had ever seen Sunoo so furious.

His loud words were enough to shake Jungwon from his frozen state as he pathetically shook his head.

"No, no." Tears now freely ran down his cheek as he frantically shook his head at the accusation.

"No, Sunoo! I could never- I..." a sob interrupted him as he shrunk in on himself as Nikis eyes still fixated him with so much disappointment.

"I would never do that to you!"

"THEN WHAT IS THIS?" Sunoo pointed at the bottle angrily, before taking it out of Heeseungs's hands, whose focus had long shifted to his obviously distressed lover, confused but with a dark suspicion dawning on him.

Before anyone could react, Sunoo threw the bottle at the nearest wall in anger, wanting to get as much space between that poison and himself. The poison that had already cost his family of omegas so so so much grief.

The bottle shattered and as tiny shards and pills smashed into pieces and spread across the floor underneath it, a pitiful "NO!" left Jungwon's hoarse throat.

He was a crying and shaking mess as he attempted to scramble to his feet and salvage the last few pills that fuled his addiction, but Niki had caught his shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Hyung" Niki's eyes held a last glimmer of childish hope as his voice wavered.

"Tell me you didn't take them."

As Jungwon whimpered as if in pain and his head lowered shamefully, more and more tears falling onto his shirt in response, the penny finally dropped.

And so did Jungwon, their pack's second Omega.

With that, chaos ensued.