"Please, I didn't do it on purpose!" I cried as Joker threw me down on the bed, pointing a gun at my head. "Please, Mistah J, I'm sorry!" Tears ran down my face as I looked up at him, my right forearm burned up with the pain only broken bone could give me.

His eyes were glaring at me with the fire of pure hate as he punched me straight in the face, making me fall back down and hitting my head on the edge of the bed. "You think I have time for your nonsense? Huh?" Joker screamed and stuck the gun into my mouth. "I gave you clear, easy instructions, you stupid brat!"

My whole body was shaking in pain and panic as he pushed his forearm against my throat. "You messed up the entire plan, but why am I surprised?" Joker yelled so loud at me my ears had that weird sound in them but that was my smallest problem right now. "You're as useless as the g in lasagna!"

I was unable to even say even a word, I just looked at his face which seemed blurry because of all the tears in my eyes. "I should've never allowed you to work with me, Harleen!" Joker moved his finger to the trigger and I violently sobbed, just hoping he wouldn't do it.

"Get the fuck out of my life, you waste of time and oxygen!" I sobbed harder and my heart stopped beating as Joker's smile returned. "Goodnight, Quinzel." He pulled the trigger.

♦♦

Gasping, I woke up in a dark room under a blanket. 'Oh shit, oh dear god!' My heart was beating so fast I thought I'd get a heart attack while my face as well as the pillow I was laying on were wet of my tears. 'Goddamn.' My hands shook in pure panic and I tried to calm my breath - without success.

I quickly checked on my forearm, still scared it was broken but luckily, it was just a nightmare. A very, very bad dream. The most life like I've ever had, though. 'Okay, everything's okay.' I tried to calm myself down and sat up on the bed and took a view deep breaths.

My eyes moved over to Joker who was still asleep and I though it was about five in the morning, five to six hours of sleep were something very unusual for him because he generally didn't sleep more than three hours, tops.

'Hope your dreams are better than mine, puddin'.' I smiled and kissed his cheek before I carefully stood up, grabbed my shirt and pants and left the room to get myself a glass of water.

That nightmare still had me in shock and although I should've been used to that, it felt different this time. I even had the taste of the iron barrel in my mouth. Funny, what imagination can do to you.

I avoided turning on lights because I didn't want to wake Mistah J up at all and took a bottle of water from the fridge. 'An' da scary part is that I thought for a moment he'd really kill me.' This thought wasn't only about tonight's nightmare but also about last time he left me a bloody, broken mess in the streets of Gotham.

"Hey, whatcha doing?"

I immediately turned around at the sound of Joker's tired voice and saw him slowly walking towards me. 'Great, ya woke him up. Can't ya do anythin' right?' Luckily he couldn't see me looking aside in nervousness because I was sure he'd be mad at me.

"I was just a bit thirsty, I'm sorry for wakin' ya up." I quickly took a sip from the water and wanted to get rid of the stressed out feeling I got from the nightmare as well as from expecting Joker's angry voice.

"Calm down, slugger, I've already been awake for like half an hour before you decided to stand up." I could tell from his voice that he was still tired, he might have not even been awake as he said. But he wasn't mad.

Slightly giggling, I nodded and smiled. "Okay. But what did ya do for half an hour?" Yes, I was curious but also wanted to change the subject and lighten the mood up a bit.

"Nothing." Joker yawned and turned his head from one side to the other while he sighed. "But what was it with you crying?" His words sounded like he was grinning - as usual, but to me they made me kind of nervous. More than I already was.

"Y-You heard that?" I asked and felt my eyes widening while Joker changed his position and from a little light outside that reached the room I could see that he was indeed smiling. "Of course, dear, how can one not hear the sobbing and whimpering. What was your nightmare even about?"

'He doesn't really care, does he?' My silence after his question probably told him everything he needed to know because Joker slowly walked towards me right before hugging me.

"Oh, I'm not gonna kill ya." He said and I closed my eyes while leaning my head against his shoulder. "I'm just gonna hurt ya." Joker ran his fingers through my hairs and I smiled, knowing what he meant. "But seriously. What's wrong?"

I was surprised about the way Mistah J seemed to care about what bothered me. He usually never even asked if I was okay at all and to be honest, I wasn't used to this side of him. And there was indeed a question I wanted to ask him for a long time but I was also scared of the answer.

It took me a moment to explain because Joker lifted my head up with his hand and gave me a kiss, making me smile and closing my eyes. 'What the devil's up with him?' Not that I was complaining. It was just. Strange. Even for him.

"I know we have put up with each other for quite a while." My voice was pretty quiet and I could only speak between Joker's soft kisses but I didn't feel the need at all to tell him to stop. "Mh-hm." He mumbled and kept his eyes closed while his right hand moved to my lower back. 'Stop it. Heh.'

"We went through pretty rough times and that happens ta all but. There's a question I want ya ta be honest 'bout. 'Cause it's really important ta me." Joker just nodded and I sighed as he started stroking my head with his left hand.

"After all da years we've been tagetha an' after everythin' I've done for you...I just want to know if I'm more ta you than just a sidekick. Or a punchbag." It felt hard asking this but I just needed to know that.

Joker immediately stopped kissing me and took his left hand off my face as he stared down into my eyes. "Don't do that, babygirl. Don't mess up the mood." The way his voice changed made him sound sad. Even disappointed.

Smiling, I kissed his cheek and started to feel a little tension building up between us. "I'm not gonna say anythin' 'bout it, I just want an honest answer. That's all."

Joker didn't react, he just looked at me for several seconds and there was this small twinkle in his eyea I could see in the darkness. There was still something sad about him and his face didn't show the slightest hint of any emotion as he finally sighed and removed his other hand from my back.

"Harley, you've always been different in a way I like. You have that same, special humor like me and somehow you always manage to cheer me up at the end of the day, no matter how upset or angry I am." My eyes widened and a alight smile formed on my face. 'Yes! Now he's finally gonna say it!'

Joker looked aside and sighed as if he had to rethink what he was about to say. And when he finally opened his mouth, I wished he would've killed me earlier this week. Because nothing else wouldn't have been even close to the pain those view words of his gave me. "I know you'd like to hear that I love you or care more about you than random other people. I know that you want me to say that all you've done for me would count for something. And I really appreciate your help. But...beyond that...I don't have any feelings for you. You're just my favorite jester."