Will and I were sitting at the Hades table at camp.

We had been together for quite a few years and life had, for the most part, been sailing on good. I say for the most part because these past few months Will has become... more distant. I tried to talk to him about it, but he pulled away from me further. I think it had to be something going on with his mom because otherwise he would have told me. (Right?)

The alternative idea hurt. I had entertained it often in the late nights when the ghosts (heh... get it? Ghosts.) of my mind got too loud. The idea that he would leave me. That he no longer loved me. That we weren't going to make it to the underworld still in love.

I hated that idea. I hated entertaining it, but I couldn't help but think about it as this was the only time the two of us had been at this table alone in weeks.

It was only about a month until the summer-campers would be joining us, but we frequently had visits from our friends (or we sat at the Apollo table with Will's siblings). The point is, it wasn't often that the two of us would be alone at lunch. So why now?

"Nico... you know I love(d) you right?" Will took my hand slowly and looked into my eyes, forcing me away from picking at the food in front of me. Did he say 'love' or 'loved'? Was I imagining that?

"Yea..."

"But I don't know what has happened recently. I've been thinking about it for months--"

My ears started ringing. I could still hear him, but it felt like I had been stuffed full of cotton and been rammed in the chest by a hydra.

I had been right.

Fuck, why did I have to be right.

I quietly told him I understood. I did. I really did. Why would someone so perfect really want to stay with someone like me? Why would Will want to be with a broken boy like me? Why couldn't I have been better (or good enough for him to stay)?

We sat there, silently, for the rest of lunch.

I wished I could've gotten mad. I wish I could've asked what I did wrong. I wish I could've cried. I may be a Ghost King, but this boy was worth crying over.

But that's it, isn't it? I can't cry to someone else. Will and I have the same friends by now. We hang out with the same people. I can't say that it broke me because that will hurt him.

I have long accepted I was in love with him. But now? Now: he isn't in love with me. What do I do?

---

Nico had gone through the rest of the day after the breakup in a haze. He felt sick, but who could he go to for a sickness like this? His chest burned from the pain. His wrists were aching where Will had last touched him.

Nico was not often one for physical touch... but with Will he was addicted. And now? He couldn't have that anymore.

There were so many things he wanted to ask. Why had it gone wrong? What happened all those months ago when the decline began? Why wasn't he good enough?

It festered for days. The burning feeling never left. The others who would usually sit with the two of them sat at their normal spots. Will switched sides at the table, across from Nico now instead of within laying-on reach. Gods, when had touch proximity become a priority?

Nico wondered how many of them had known it would happen that day. Probably all of them. They all knew the two weren't together anymore. The whole camp knew. But they must've known because why else would the table had been empty besides the two of them.

Why did no one tell him? Well, besides the obvious-- these were Will's friends first. Not Nico's. Nico's were dead or at Camp Jupiter right now.

Gods, he missed Bianca or, hell, even Jason. They would know what to do right now. They probably would've yelled at Will if they had seen Nico's tears.

It was honestly progress that Nico was still even at camp right now. Before Will, he probably would've disappeared for months. Now? He doesn't know if that would be the best idea.

-----

Nico's hands trembled as he stood outside the Apollo cabin. He had put this off long enough. He had to tell him.

He knocked.

And no one answered for a long few seconds. It was long enough that Nico almost turned and ran, but he didn't. He was going to face this. Truly, this is what they would've told me to do.

Luckily, Will answered the door.

Nico took a deep breath, "I think we need to talk."

-----

Nico almost passed out uttering those words.

Will looked shocked. "Um... okay?"

Nico took his hand and shadow traveled the two of them into the Hades cabin. His hand lingered before dropping.

"Nico--"

He didn't let Will get a word in. "Please, let me have this." Will's mouth shut and he nodded, sitting on Nico's bed. Nico sat next to him. "You've had months to process this. You got months to be able to get over the idea of loving me. I loved you Will. I truly did. After everything I went through, I found it in myself to love you, and I trusted you to love me back. I thought that you would tell me if something was going wrong. Instead you pulled away from me. Imagine that? The Sunshine Boy pulls away from Mr. Doom-And-Gloom? Do you know how much it hurt to notice, Will?"

Tears had started to form in both of their eyes. "Nic--"

"What did I say? Please. Let me talk. It hurt Will. It burns even at this moment. It's like your father took a piece of the sun and stabbed me through the heart. It's like I am burning from the inside because you don't love me anymore. What did I do? Why did you leave? Is it something I could've fixed? Or was this inevitable?"

"I... I don't know."

"What?" Nico stared, the tears had started falling. Will reached out to wipe them away; Nico pulled back.

"I fell out of love with you. I told you that. I didn't want to string you on when I was so obviously still hurting you. But you hurt me too, you know?"

Nico did know. He knew he was a pain to take care of. He knew his nightmares were no joke to deal with from an outsider perspective. He knew that his stupid teenager instincts of self preservation that kept him alive were not the best in the context of a relationship. Nico knew very well that he was flawed and may not have been the best boyfriend.

"I know."

"Nico, I loved you. That's why I have to leave. Maybe one day, after we have both healed, we could be together again. Maybe that time will be in the underworld, maybe it will be in a few years, and maybe it could be never. We've been through so much. We are both flawed people Nico. I didn't break up with you simply because of how you have hurt me or because of your flaws. I broke up with you because of my own. I want to focus on becoming better for myself first."

It was such an annoyingly Apollo-kid-like response. The whole cabin was too damn good at dealing with mental health issues.

Will got up slowly and extended a hand to Nico. He stared at it for a second before taking it, and Will pulled him up.

Will hugged him briefly. "This isn't necessarily a goodbye. Maybe it's just 'until next time'?"

Will gave Nico a watery smile and left through the door, shutting it quietly behind himself.

Nico cried.

--()--

Hi Cakes!

This had been a twoshot from my oneshot book, but I was thinking that this deserved its own book because I was really proud of it. I also thought I may like to expand on it at some point and maybe show the recovery of getting over someone (or maybe, like Will implied, it might just be 'until next time'?; maybe there is more going on than it seems?). I just thought you might enjoy it like this as if I did expand it I really do want to go into longer form chapters-- this was over 1,000. 

Let me know if you cried <3

Anyways Cakes,

CAKEY OUT!