13. The messed up state of mind

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Mehak's pov 

Before we could do anything ,the bike caught in fire. I screamed in horror. 

My eyes started to water as soon as my mind drifted to the past when my dad died because of doing a stunt like this.

I don't want anyone to face the same fate….I don't want any family to face the same pain of loss of the loved one.

The crew members ran towards him and luckily he was rescued.

Suddenly I started to feel dizzy . I held my head to reduce the pain. With my hazy eyes I could see that Ankur was coming towards me and soon he was standing in front of me. 

Before I could do anything, I slipped into the pit of darkness.
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"She is moving."

"I think she will wake up soon." 

I could hear the talking of people and tried to open my eyes. But my head felt so heavy that I couldn't open my eyes.

I groaned and pressed my head to reduce the pain.

Slowly I started to open my eyes and started to look around the surrounding when I was able to see everything clearly.

I was in my vanity van and There were our director, Ankur,Vishal and one unknown man ,I guessed that he was the doctor.

Soon I started to remember what happened and I looked at Ankur to see that he was looking at me in worry and something which I couldn't point out.

As I guessed it was correct. The doctor checked me up.

"She is alright….it was just because of the panic she fainted like this. Let her rest for sometime. I am leaving now." The doctor said and stood up.

"Thank you ,doctor." Our director said and took the doctor out.

Everyone started to leave after asking me if I was okay or not except Ankur.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere?  I asked him.

He came and sat beside me on the chair. 

"I am perfectly fine...I am not at all injured. How are you feeling now?" He asked tenderly. Suddenly anger rushed through my nerves.

"I am fine….but you tell me why did you do that ? We warned you and told you not to do that stunt….then why did you do it when you haven't done before? Do you have any idea What would have happened if something happened to you? What would your parents do? ….. What did you want to prove? Tell me dimwit!!!! Why the fuck are you silent now?" I yelled at him.

He looked at me with a smirk and said,"Relax Beautiful…..you know I am feeling so much happy to see you worried about me...your care for me is making my heart dance...kahi tumhe mujhse pyaar toh nahi ho gaya?(Did you fall in love with me?)" 

Nerve of this man!!!! I am so angry at him and he is fucking joking with me!!! I will kill him today for sure.

"I.am.fucking.serious.Mr.Ankur Srivastav. " I said ,stressing every word. I was shaking in anger. 

He is not trying to understand the depth of the situation…. I know what happens when we lose someone who is our family and loved one. I can imagine what would have happened to his family if something wrong would have happened to him.

I seriously don't like Stunt...
I loath it...But as our profession demands it ,I can't do anything about it....

Every stuntman is risking their life to earn something and why they are risking their everything...just to entertain the audiences !!!!! 

It really doesn't make any sense to me. That's why I hate any kind of action movies where lots of stunts are there.  

But it is also true that they do this life risking job only to feed their families.

Maybe you can call me a hypocrite as I am continuously scolding Ankur for risking his life by doing a stunt and indirectly telling him to let the stuntman do this….but no..it's not what I mean….in fact I was about to tell our director to cancel any type of stunt from our film because it really was an unnecessary part ….but before I could say that,Ankur jumped forward and agreed. I couldn't stop this as the majority thought that this stunt was important. 

I know I can't stop the stunts from this industry but in my films I always tell my director to avoid stunts if it's an unnecessary part of a film .

Ankur's smile wiped away from his face as soon as he heard my tone.

"I am sorry...I was trying to lighten the situation.Don't get angry ,see nothing has happened to me. I am perfectly alright. 
You know ,the director said that I did the scene perfectly despite the accident  and no retake needed. 
Moreover I did the scene to imp……" Suddenly he stopped before completing the sentence and bit his tongue. 

My ears perked up as I heard the last incomplete word "imp "

"What? Complete it...what did you say?" I asked him.

"No...nothing. You take rest..I should leave now." He said to me and about to get up from the  chair when I caught his hand.

"Complete the line and go.Tell me...and remember I won't leave you until you complete the line. Now don't waste the time and say. " I said to him sternly.

He hesitated but finally opened his mouth ,"I wanted to impress you. " 

My eyes became wide in shock,hearing him.

"You did what?" I asked in shock.

"I did it to impress you ...remember during our last film,you said that you respect and admire those who did their work of their own...I wanted to see the admiration and respect for me in your eyes. But I never thought that something like this would happen. I am sorry, Mehak." He said.

Hearing him my anger reached its peak.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Just to impress me you did this….how dare you!!!! How dare you to play with your life like this? And what the fuck you mean by admiration and respect!!! 
I admire you and respect you for the kind of actor you are...for the kind of person you are….you don't need to do something which is not your cup of tea….

Moreover you know I loathe stunt...In fact I wanted to tell the director to remove this part but nobody supported me...including you.

When I said that I admire them who do their work without any help, I said every kind of work...not stunts….I hate stunts ,man.

I respect the stuntman as they do life risking stunts to feed their family. I hate them who ill treat them.

But that is different. 

You know what….it was my fault...my fucking fault...if I would have stopped keeping contact to you after your love confession, I wouldn't have to see this day...it was my fault for which you were going to punish your parents without any reason...I should have done that before." I shouted at him.

"No..no….it's nothing like that...see I didn't know this mishap will happen, it's not my fault...I am sorry Mehak...don't say like this." He pleaded to me.

I know this was an accident but still I was so angry,frustrated that I said whatever I thought  was correct at that moment. 

It would be better if I stop contacting him ….if I won't be  in his life,His madness of impressing won't be there as well.

Moreover my dad's incident was coming in my mind repeatedly and that made me shiver out of fear.

"It is needed be done...Now for your own sake I will stop keeping every kind of contact with you….we will be strictly professional…nothing more than that." I said to him.

"Mehak…" he was about to tell me something when  I interrupted him,"Please leave now...I don't want to talk to you...please."

He looked at me sadly and left from there. 

My anger,frustration came out in the form of tears. I wiped my tears and went back to set to hear that the shoot won't happen for the next two days.

I went back to my room and took a shower. After that I slept for a while.
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When I woke up ,it was 3:30 pm. 

This means I slept for three hours.

My stomach rumbled as I didn't eat anything after  breakfast. 

After freshening up ,I got dressed up and went outside to eat something and stroll around alone.

I went to a nearby restaurant and ordered some sandwiches, red sauce pasta and a coke.

After filling my stomach, I went towards a nearby lake. 

I sat down on the bench beside the lake and looked around the place. It was a nice place. The sun was yet to set  and the weather was nice as well. People were there spending some time….some of them were alone ,some came with family and friends and some of them were couples -- married ones and lovers.

Romantic relationships always have some enmity with me because it never lasts long in my life. 

When I fell in love with Kiaan,I thought that I got the "one" who was made for me... but it turned out to be one sided Love. 

Though it hurts me….but this hurt is nothing in front of the amount of happiness I feel for Jigyasa and Kiaan who are going to be parents soon . Most importantly They both are my family not friends.

I really don't think that I will ever fall in love with someone. I have nothing to give to that person because I have already given my heart to Kiaan .

Though he is happily married,I don't feel it's wrong to keep him in my heart .I didn't keep conditions while falling in love with him so  I don't complain about the current situation either.

Moreover in love, it doesn't matter if you marry the person you love,the thing only matters is love. 

Love is when you feel happy seeing your beloved's happiness, I am also happy...in fact very happy to see him happy with Jigyasa who is perfect for him in every way possible. 

I came out of my thoughts when I felt something touching my feet. I looked down to see a ball. 

"Can I have my ball,pwease?" 

I looked to see a 3 or 4 years old cute little girl standing in front of me with a puppy eyed face. She looked so adorable in her pink dress.

I smiled and said to her,"I will...but for that you have to give me a kiss…can I have my kiss ,pwease?" I made a puppy eyed face and turned my left cheek towards her.

She nodded shyly and kissed me. I gave her the ball and kissed her cheeks. 

"Bye," saying this sweetly,she left from there.

Somebody has said it right that Babies are blessings. See,how she changed my mood within a minute.

I didn't want to go back to the sad mood again because this day showed a lot. I just hoped that the adventures were enough for today.

But I think God wants to taste my patience because something  is yet to come. 



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Next update on Thursday.

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