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"I love you with all my bruised heart" - Violet Trefusis

• Raven •

"I don't do anything to you Micah, we haven't really... learnt much about each other" I said
"I know a lot about you. You're sensitive-"
I scoffed
"You are, you make out that you're not but you just want to be loved Raven, you just want to be wanted and appreciated and I don't think anyone has ever truly shown you that love or appreciation have they?" He asked

I dipped my head. No...
"Your mother expects a lot from you, your father-... your step father wants to make you someone you're not. I... I want you to be you. And I want to fall in love with you and protect you Raven" he explained
"Why?" I asked hopelessly

He grasped my face, pulling my eyes to his
"Because mates are fated together because they're perfect for one another. We're not forced together and we're not made with the other one in mind. We just are who we are. And I'll love you for it all. And you'll love me... I hope" he mumbled at the end

He was so... sweet
Such a sweet and caring guy and I... I did like that about him
I... I do like him
I'm just afraid of everything that I am

Everything I come from
Whatever this power is inside of me that put us all here
I'm not good for him
How can he think I am?

"We should get some sleep. And figure a way out in the morning" he said
I nodded, gently putting my daisy crown on the side, lying beside Micah

And in the silent darkness, I took hold of his hand.

•

And in the silent darkness as he slept... I snuck out.

•

"Ah, ready to leave?"
The gatekeeper
Standing amused as she was before, staff in hand and watching me with a tilted head
"Yes. We are" I said

"We?" She smiled
"Don't give me that, you said you know everything. You know I'm planning to leave with him" I said
"I do. So you have come to sacrifice your wings?" She asked

"You tell me" I challenged, crossing my arms
"You are" she said simply
It was a choice. A choice I was making
For me and Micah to leave
Or we really would be stuck in purgatory. Nothing would change unless we went home.

And I can't take him home without a sacrifice
The way he spoke to me, about me
He's worth the sacrifice. Whether we... whatever happens between us

"As you wish Raven" she said.

• Micah •

I woke up alone. Where is she?
Wandering outside, she was nowhere to be found
"Raven?" I called, looking for her
She eventually came into view, walking through the trees.

"We can leave" she said
"What?" I asked surprised, how...
"I made a deal with the gatekeeper. An... an arrangement, we can leave" she explained

"But I thought you'd have to sacrifice your-"
"Well that doesn't matter now does it? We can go" she said, walking past me into the cabin
I followed her

"Go where?" I asked
"Home" she said
"Your home" I clarified
She nodded, grabbing her things, putting the daisy chain over her head and round her neck.

"Come on" she said, heading back out
I stumbled after her. Nervous and excited
We were leaving this place. Finally
But we were going to... hell.

Her home... in hell.
Fuck...

• Narissa •

"Darling"
I looked around, wondering where Lucian's voice was coming from and why it suddenly sounded so near
"Lucian?" I questioned, as he neared me through the trees

He hugged me. We could... we could touch?
"What's going on? Why are you here?" I asked
"Why do you think my love?" He asked back
"You're dead?" I asked

He nodded
"How... how?" I asked, unable to figure it out
"Your son" he answered, I looked up at him

"Sin? Sin killed you?" I asked
He nodded
"No... no he wouldn't. Why... why would he do that?" I asked
"Because I antagonised the little pup about his family. And I guess the whole mate thing really riles them eh? He did exactly what you described Raven doing when you... died" he explained

Tell me about it
His father left me for that god forsaken mate bond
Raven killed me for the mate bond.
She was still defying me for that wolf.

"We need to find Raven. And leave. This... this is out of hand now, we need to go home" I said
"We will. I saw Raven but she wasn't happy to see me" he said
"Yes well... my job is to protect her, not make her happy" I grumbled.

• Raven •

We walked through the gates
And neither of us evaporated or burst into flames, as I think Micah had imagined
The only trouble now... was getting home.

"Koráki" I heard a voice
'Little crow'

I looked over to a wagon
Mona and Ravana sat bottling up souls?
"There's our ride" I said simply
"Oh I don't think-"
"Micah" I sighed, grabbing his hand as he was hesitant to move

"Is this the man you were trying to find?" Mona asked
"Yes, can you give a ride back?" I asked
"We're still collecting for a while, if you are willing to wait" Ravana shrugged, sitting beside Mona as she eyed us both

"So... he is the loved one, yes?" Ravana asked
Micah looked at me surprised
"I told you he wasn't a loved ones" I muttered
"He is a wolf" Mona commented
"Yes" I said

"And you are a demon" Ravana chimed
"How can this be?" She asked, gesturing between the two of us
"I have a wolf. And it's... she's mated to his" I explained

They nodded
"Would you mind if the wolf helped me load these crates?" Ravana asked
I nodded
"He can do what he wants" I half lied

They stood up. And I was left with Mona
"Purgatory requires a sacrifice" she mused
"Yes" I said bluntly
"What did you sacrifice for the boy?" She asked

"None of your business" I crossed my arms

• Narissa •

The cabin was vacant, she was gone
The couple told me they had left
That everything they had with them was gone
How did she leave?

What did they surrender?
Where are they going?
Why is she taking him with her?

"Tell me, is my daughter gone?" I asked the gatekeeper
"You wish to leave Queen Narissa" the gatekeeper said
"Don't play games with me, you know all. Is she gone?" I demanded

"Tell us" Lucian snapped
"She left, with her mate" she said
"He is not her mate, he is... he's an idiot" I snapped
"We do wish to leave" Lucian said, stepping forward

"Leaving requires sacrifices... your majesty" she said
"Like what?" He asked
"Like titles... wings... horns... possessions" She reeled off
"And what do you want from us?" I demanded to know

"Your crowns" she said
"My... we're not giving you that" Lucian said angrily

• Gatekeeper •

They shouted in protest at me
Fools
To leave, one must sacrifice a part of themselves that matters most
And to the king and queen. Their role and reputations were what they cared for.

Raven... she cared for her wings due to freedom. She cared for them for authority. To scare others
And she didn't need them for that anymore
She needed to let the wolf in. She needed to be content with where she is
Content with standing still. Not running away or bluffing her way through her life.

She needed to find happiness.

• Raven •

"This is going to be a long drive if you don't stop staring at me" I mumbled as we sat in the back of their wagon.
"I'm sorry, I'm just... nervous I guess, I can't imagine what sort of castle a royal demon in hell would live in" he let out

"A depressing one" I answered
Everything about it was... dark and sad.

"Why won't you tell me? What you gave up?" He asked
"I told you, it's nothing bad. I just... talked her round" I lied.
He didn't need to know I lost my wings
That when I transform... theres... there's nothing but broken stems...

A phantom weight of something I no longer had
Something I'd grown up with all my life
Being a wolf came naturally to Sin
But my wings... my horns. They were my normal
And part of me is now... gone

Forever
For... Micah. For us. An us I wasn't even sure existed
I know he wanted us
I know I should try and make this work but... my mind often doubted myself before I even caught up.

And as we headed home. My home
The place that most of my misery stems from... I was scared
Scared that I wouldn't be able to open up to Micah as I had done in the woods.

Scared that I would retreat into my... complacency.

• Micah •

She looks scared. Nervous as she stared at the floor and fiddled with her hands
I reached forward, taking her hand in mine and offering her a reassuring smile
Even though I was petrified myself

Sin killing Lucian. Narissa wanting me out.
Hell... going to actual hell... this is all too much to deal with.

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