Chapter eight
Insults
Kylo's POV:
When I met with Snoke he ridiculed me for having feelings towards the light. It wasn't something I meant to do. I was beyond angry. Then I felt her. "You're back." I said. "So are you. It seems like we're connected." She replied. I shook my head and said "we're not. We're on opposite sides." "We don't have to be." Ryssa said as she looked at me. I noticed I could see her surroundings. "I can see where you are. I can see it all." Ryssa nodded and said "me too." I remembered how the last time we met she had touched my hand. The contact was something I desperately missed. "You can change. If you came back, we could end this war." Ryssa said. "No. The light is not where I belong. I never did." Ryssa stepped towards me and I took a step back. "Can I?" She asked. As much as I desperately wanted the contact I told her no. Ryssa bit her lip and said "can I ask why?" "The light. It keeps pulling me towards it. I don't like it. Snoke detected it." "And?" "And what?" "What happened when he detected it?" This time I stepped towards her. "He ridiculed me for it. Took his anger out on me. Screamed at me. Said things that were true. That I wasn't a leader." I hadn't even noticed Ryssa had backed to the wall and I had cornered her. "I'm sorry that he did that." She said as she looked up at me. "Don't give me pity." I spat. Ryssa looked down. I felt that she was able to feel how I felt. "Stop." I said. "You're so angry. The anger is practically radiating off you. Kylo, you have so much anger." I smirked and said "I'm supposed to. You'd be so powerful if you joined me." I grabbed her by her chin and made her look at me. A small gasp left her lips and I pried into her mind. "You're scared." I said, almost chuckling. "I'm not." She replied through clenched teeth. "You are." Ryssa weaseled her way into my mind and said "so are you." I let go of her chin and grabbed her by her arm, pulling her closer to me. The hold I had on her arm was enough to make her squirm. "I'm not scared." I said. Ryssa looked at my hand on her arm then at me. "You are. You're afraid you can't live up to what Snoke wants you to be. You're afraid." I had a hold on both her arms now, right under her shoulders. "If anyone is afraid, it's you. You're afraid of your parents. You're scared they'll question your leadership. They hate what you've become. They hate who you are. Like they always have. The hate has just grown stronger over the years." I said to her. Ryssa stared at me in shock. I watched the tears form in her eyes. "You're weak. Which is why you're parents are so disappointed." "Stop." "Why? You want me to stop saying the truth?" What I didn't notice was her hands on my chest. "I want you to stop being cruel!" She pushed on my chest which didn't do anything since I still had a hold of her. I huffed and she pushed on my chest again. "Knock it off." I said. I let go of her, getting ready to grab the lightsaber on my holster. Ryssa of course wouldn't let me grab it. She had succeeded in force pushing me across the room. Ryssa inhaled deeply and I sat up, bringing myself to my feet. "Is that all you can do? You're so powerful." I mocked. Ryssa eyed me and said "you're getting off on this aren't you?" I shrugged and said "maybe. It makes me stronger with the dark side." I walked over to Ryssa, freezing her in her place. "You're a monster." She said softly. "That's what the scavenger said to me. It doesn't hurt, you know. I am a monster. It's not an insult." "Neither is you saying I'm scared. That's not an insult. It's what people have said to me my whole life. I just hate when you say it." "Why is that?" "I distinctly remember you telling me to not let fear get in the way of what I want. We were young-" I interrupted her. "Stop." "You told me that fear leads to the dark side." "Stop." I said again. Ryssa didn't stop. She continued. "Why are you even here? If you're just here to insult me?" She said. "I don't know. I didn't ask to be here. I didn't ask to have a stupid force bond with you." I replied. I unfroze her and a breath of relief left her lips. "Leave." "I don't know how." I admitted. "Figure it out. I don't want you here. It's probably not good for us to be around one another. We're enemies. I'm so stupid for thinking I could turn you back to the light. God, I'm so stupid!" Ryssa said as she turned away from me. I felt the sadness radiating off her body. I grabbed her by her arm softly. She quickly turned around and hit me in the chest. "I want you to go!" She yelled. She continued to hit me in the chest with such force. I wrapped my arms around her body and muffled cries entered the room. Ryssa cried into my chest and I felt her slowly falling to her knees. I held her up and walked to the bed in her bedroom. "Please go away." She said as she tried to pull away. "I don't know how." I told her. I held her, wrapping my arms around her. I felt her trying to fight it. She then wrapped her arms around me, knowing she couldn't fight it. Her arms were around my torso and her head laid on my shoulder. "Leave." She said. "Do you actually want me to leave?" I asked. It was the first question I had asked with curiosity since I had been in the room with her. My anger had diminished and now I slightly felt bad. Her arms tightened around me and she sat up a little, nuzzling her face into the crook of my neck. For some reason I didn't shudder. A content sigh left my lips. I didn't mean for it to. Ryssa seemed to pick up on it. She lifted her head up, her arms still around my body. I looked at her tear stained cheeks and said "I'm sorry." "You're apologizing?" Ryssa asked. I nodded and said "yes. You're the only one I could ever apologize to." She half smiled and I stared at her lips. I had always wondered what it'd be like to kiss them. I've never had the chance to. "Kylo." She said softly. I watched as she leaned in and I did the same, slower than her. Our lips were inches from each other. "Kylo." She said again. God, I wanted to kiss her so bad. "Ryssa, what's happening?" I said. Ryssa began to lean in again, beginning to close the small gap between us. Right before our lips could touch, I was back on the finalizer. I gasped as I fell back onto the couch in my quarters. "Fuck." I mumbled. I closed my eyes, trying to hard to get back to Ryssa. "I can't do it. Why can't I do it?"

I've haven't actually written a whole chapter in Kylo's POV yet. It was different. This chapter made my heart hurt omg. I miss Ben so much y'all have no idea😭😭😭
~Skylar🪐✨🪐✨