To the one who has lingered in my thoughts for so long,

It's been days since we said goodbye. How is life treating you? It's been a while since I wrote anything to post here on Wattpad, but today, as I find myself with some free time on a plane, I decided to put my thoughts into words. It's because I still miss you.

When thoughts linger in my mind, I often write them down, hoping that memories will transform into words I can preserve on paper. So here I am, writing again on this long-neglected Wattpad, trying to capture your smile, laughter, jokes, how your face lights up when you smile, and how your smile feels like a breeze in summer. I want to ask a question about the weather in your city—is it warm as as I imagine?

As I scroll through our photos, I remember how we went from strangers to friends, from awkward silences to shared laughter, ticking off items on my bucket list, and practicing your joke. I guess it was during those moments that I fell in love with you.

I once heard, "Life is long; you must be with the one you love." Maybe that writer said it, but my memory from all the Chinese dramas I watch is vague. Yet, regardless of who said it, the meaning resonates with me.

My mind is filled with your images, though I don't know when or where these memories came from, I know they matter. You've been in my thoughts for so long. Maybe things haven't always gone my way, but like many people, in tough times, I reminisce about the past and things that made me happy.

I remember the first time I met you. I thought, "Wow, this person is amazing. I hope one day I can be like that." You were smart, responsible, and mature, knowing how to speak like a true adult. But nothing compares to your laugh. That first laugh still echoes in my mind.

Those times were full of happiness. They gave me a reason to wake up early and stay up late, and they made saying goodbye difficult. Those moments were an antidote to my mundane life. They made me forget how close I sat next to you; I could see my reflection in your beautiful eyes. I wasn't brave enough to brush your hair aside or offer my shoulder when you were tired, but I cherished taking you out for meals, laughing, talking, and listening to your stories. That was more than enough for me.

I never thought I could lose sleep over someone, or that looking at a picture could make me cry (though no one knew because I hid it well). Today, I write every sentence with you in mind.

Now I understand why the main characters sacrifice everything for their loved one's smile, why Romeo died for Juliet, and why Jack gave up his place on the "raft" for Rose. This feeling is familiar yet strange, annoying yet intriguing, something I've never had but am afraid of losing. Perhaps I truly love you more than I realized.

I know we're not meant to be together, but just as one admires flowers without picking the fruit, I can't ignore you even when we can't be together. My strongest memories are of you. Just thinking about you brightens my day.

I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see your smile's warmth. I think of you when I'm busy and when I'm bored. Maybe in a past life, I did something so heartfelt that I can't stop thinking about you in this one.

I wonder if this is what love truly feels like or if it's just fragmented emotions creating a delusion. I still keep your picture with the silly face. I remember your likes and dislikes, how you dance, laugh, sing, and your favorite song. I know you might have liked me, but I wasn't familiar with the signs, I'm sorry.

If I confessed my feelings for you, who would help me if our friendship ended? So, I'll keep this secret with me, letting my longing drift away like the wind. If you read this, don't guess who I am, but if you know, please keep it to yourself please.

Now we are hundreds of miles apart. Time flies, and distance grows. Even professional lovers struggle with long-distance relationships, let alone friendships. Feelings fade, just like our conversations.

In an age where I can book a plane ticket in five minutes and fly 500 miles to see you, I don't have to spend all my savings or wait half a year. But I can't find a reason to visit you. I see your Instagram posts, and I guess we're both single. It's a relief. What will I feel when you find someone? Imagining it breaks my heart a little. But honestly, I'll be happy for you, knowing you've found happiness with someone you love. I'd be sad if he made you sad.

I want to remain your friend and to have a good relationship. So it's lucky I haven't spoken words that could ruin it. This isn't a love letter, just unspoken words to you. It's a letter I write for you, not expecting you to read it, where I express how much I love and miss you, and how long I've been thinking about you.

You've added spice to my life. I hope that one day, our beautiful memories will be buried under the moonlight. If they turn into stone, they will become a meteor flying across the sky on the day when we first met.

Maybe I'll never find someone like you. Maybe I've ruined a chance at something more. Maybe there are things left unsaid. Maybe I'll see you again. Just maybe.

If there's another life, I'll find every way to be with you. I'd change my job and risk my career just to sit next to you.

I'm glad to see you in this life,

Jxk