He had no reason to feel this way, no responsibility to the gnawing pain in his gut that squeezed acid into his throat as he looked at the man in front of him. A man that he thought he knew after so many years, but now saw no recognition in him. No reason for the shame that killed any sense of pity for a man who looked so utterly destroyed, no need to own the remorse for actions he would never even consider for himself. But, here he was, nonetheless.

"You need to find somewhere else to stay, Steve, sorry," Tony said flatly. "I'll give you an hour to gather up your stuff."

Steve wasn't shocked to hear it, and he couldn't be angry over it, but it still stung after this many years in what used to be his home. This was what his life would be now, and it was of his own doing, but the acceptance hadn't quite come just yet. "I can't even have the night to make arrangements?"

"They're called hotels. New York is full of them."

"Fine," Steve relented, standing from the couch. "sorry that I thought I could use my old room, but 'spose I should've asked before showing up here. I guess I really am on my own."

"Guess so."

"So, you're the genius, do you have any ideas for what I do now? I don't even know where to start with a...a divorce. I don't know how this works. What would you do?"

"Well, for starters I wouldn't fuck another man's wife. Much less one of my closest friends who was basically like a brother and trusted me as much as Chris did. You know, when Chris dusted, you really took taking care of his wife to a whole new level."

"Perfect, Stark, thanks," Steve sighed heavily, "so helpful. Alright, let's have it. Is everyone outside ready to take turns at me, or what?"

A snide smile curled at the corners of Tony's mouth, but it didn't last. He was mad as hell at the guy, but he was still the decent one in the room. It was just much harder to play and he couldn't fight the urge to not try. "I asked if anyone cared to join me and no one seemed to give a shit. Well, other than Bucky, who tried to stop me. Said that you already had a visit from Sam to follow the left hook that got across all he wanted to say to you. He's with (Y/N) right now, and I'm pretty sure you've lost all of them, Steve."

"I am too."

"I heard that Barnes called Evans in to help-"

"Hold on. I'm sorry," Steve paused, setting his bag down again and turning to face Tony, the stern shift causing his teammate to stand a bit taller in response, "he did what?"

"He called in someone who can help keep her off the roof, Rogers," Tony stepped closer, cautiously making his point. "You should be thankful that he was able to get there as fast as he did."

"You'd think so, but that's not exactly the word I would use."

---

"You're an idiot."

"Go away, Buck," you groaned, head buried solidly under your blankets and wishing the universe had given you invisibility. Knowing him as well as you did, you knew that he wouldn't give up so easily and it let you to bury yourself in your cocoon even more. "You're too much, I'm fine. I'm a grown up and I can handle this."

"Coulda fooled me," he shrugged.

"I know that I had a few too many, but I know that I didn't black out and I definitely don't recall asking you to come up here."

"You didn't."

"Then you're trespassing."

"Or," he sighed, "it could be that I'm a concerned friend who wants to make sure that you're okay when they've never seen you like this before. What the hell were you thinking?"

Fully exasperated now that he wouldn't stop and your tone wasn't doing the trick to get through his thick skull, you yanked the blanket away and sat up, facing him fully and forcing him to hold your gaze. He seemed taken aback but he held his position and prepared himself for whatever you could give in this new persona you carried. "I'm sorry, but why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?"

"Hey, don't get attitude with me, I'm trying to help."

"Well, I don't need any of your help."

"Clearly. You seem great."

"Get the hell outta here, Buck. Before I say something that I'll regret."

"No, you can't throw that out there and expect me to let it go. Let's have it," he pushed, "now I'm interested."

"Just go check on Steve, alright? He shouldn't be on his own." You tried to lay back again and pull the covers up, but his hand jutted out at grabbed them first, not allowing you to take your favorite hiding place back.

"Stop deflecting."

"Stop acting like it's your problem."

"It is."

"No, Buck, it's not," you finally snapped, nearly yelling loud enough to risk waking your son in the next room. "this has nothing to do with you, and I'm not your problem. I'm not your anything, so go mind your own damn business, okay? It's not for you to fix...I'm not for you to fix, and neither is he. This is for us to figure out and I have to face that. I can't do it if you try to protect me from it."

"Only me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Am I the only one not allowed to step up for you?"

"Hey," you hissed, poking him in the chest, "you're the one who called him to come over here, that wasn't me."

"Yeah, but I didn't shove my tongue down his throat."

"Jesus, Buck, I was pissed. That's all it was. I fully admit, not my best moment, but that's all it meant. Chris knows that too. Now that we've cleared that up, why don't you run along and find someone else who wants to put up with your bullshit, because that ain't me."

"My bullshit?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be in a marriage, let alone a long-term relationship of any kind other than your co-dependency with Steve. Stop telling me what to do with mine when you have nothing to compare it to because you can't get your own life together enough to grow up and realize that you're not all he has anymore."

"Wow, (Y/N), have you practiced that, or was that off the top of your head?" he whispered, so low that you barely heard him. He tried to mask the pain that your cut had caused, but it was obvious that your strike had hit too deeply and he couldn't just shake this one off; there was a hint of truth within it that he had hidden and you exposed him too easily. You had hit a nerve, and those could be nearly impossible to repair once the damage is done. He stood up without another word, refusing your reach out to stop him.

"See," you groaned, flopping back heavily onto your pillow, 'that's the thing I knew I'd regret."

~~~

Several hours later, long after the lights of the compound grounds had dimmed and there was barely a hint of morning peeking out over the horizon, your eyes opened again with the sound of your phone pulling you awake. The screen held a familiar picture, one that now stabbed a dull knife into your heart and you quickly made a mental note to change it as soon as you could. There was no way that you'd be able to handle seeing Steve looking back at you with that damn smile and that faked innocence every time that you had to talk to him from now on. Your first instinct was to ignore his attempt, but you knew full well that it wouldn't stop him from trying over and over again until he got your compliance, so you answered. You opened the line but refused to speak first.

"Chris isn't taking my calls. I'm surprised that you did."

"That makes two of us."

"Are you okay?"

"Do you care?"

"(Y/N), come on," he sighed, "of course I do. I love you."

"You have a messed up way of showing it."

"It was over a year ago."

"Well, it was yesterday for me, Steve. Do you really think that a year is long enough to forgive and forget something like this? There's no amount of time that would be enough."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." He paused and waited for you to say more, but you didn't. Steve had no reason to expect you to, just as he had no reason to expect you to have answered the phone in the first place. He couldn't wallow in his own self-pity, however, no matter how much he wanted to; his first interest was still in your well-being, and that of your son. "How's CJ doing?"

"I haven't told him anything, because I have no idea how I'll explain this."

"Maybe...m-maybe we should...do you think we should wait on that?"

"Why?"

"(Y/N)-"

"Waiting won't change anything, Steve. He may as well start figuring out how to accept the truth, now that you've finally let yourself accept it too."

Steve took a deep breath, though it barely moved within his chest. The expansion hurt too much, and it only made his heart beat harder against it. He knew what you were going to say to his next question, but he had to give the words a voice, even if your voice carried the reply that he never wanted to hear. "Is this the end (Y/N)?"

"You haven't given me a choice, Steve, and you've made this decision for us, all by yourself. Yes, it's the end."

(In progress)