Logic

The wall Logan was staring at was exceptionally boring. It was pasty white and pristine. Logan wished it was peeling in some places. At least then it would have been interesting. He couldn't seem to tear his gaze from it. Tears filled his eyes, blurring his vision of the old wall, as he tried not to let the tears fall again. It was no small feat.

The chair he sat in hurt his back with how firm it was. His hands were intertwined, wrung tight with worry. The harsh light of the hospital couldn't chase away the dark feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

Virgil was in the other room.

And Logan was here. Alone. Left to worry endlessly about how his boyfriend was doing.

Logan didn't know what to do with his hands. 

He'd already texted Patton. He was on his way. Apparently, Roman was coming along. He wasn't sure why, or what had happened Science he'd last talked to Patton and Roman, but he needed someone to talk to.

Watching the walls was driving him crazy.

He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. Pacing around the waiting room, he stared at the carpet. The patterns were no more interesting, but it was something new.

 Pacing usually helped clear his mind. Now, though, pacing did little to ease his concern. Soon, he was sitting again. 

He slumped in his chair, staring at the wall again.

Occasionally, he'd pull out his phone. Patton kept updating him on when they would get there. Logan didn't respond.

The doors of the room swung open and Patton and Roman ran in. Patton had definitely been crying, and Roman appeared angry. At what, Logan could only guess.

"Lo!" Patton cried, and he let go of Romans hand to rush to him.

Logan continued to stare at the opposite wall, unable to compute anything.

Roman approached carefully, as though upon a feral animal. Logan could tell how tense he was. And it was no wonder, either. Last time they'd seen eachother, it had been a disaster.

Logan missed the days before his watch had run out. He wanted the simplicity of not worrying about love and life. Before he had met Virgil, everything was much lower stakes. The most he could lose was his life.

Virgil has brought meaning to his life. Now, there was so much more that he could lose.

"Logan," Roman said cautiously. "What happened? Is Virgil oka-"

Logan swung a fist at Roman, the fury and fear and anger of his recent past flooding out. Even if it had landed, Roman most likely wouldn't have cared much.

The effort of the single swing had drained Logan. He sat back down, panting. Tears ran down his cheeks and blurred his vision for the hundredth time in the past couple weeks.

Why does it hurt so much?

"Woah, Logan! What was that about?" Patton asked, eyes still wide with surprise.

Before Logan could respond, Roman knelt in front of him.

"Lo. I need you to calm down. I know you're scared. I know you're hurting. I know you're angry," Roman said, choking up, tears streaming down his face. He started again. "I know- I know you are angry. At me. It's my fault!" Roman stood up, gesturing wildly. "It's  my fault! If I hadn't..."

Logan finally snapped out of his broken trance.

"Roman..." he said, standing as well. "I- I-" He trailed off, not sure what to say.

Patton hugged them both. For the first time, Logan noticed how truly anguished Patton looked. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Patton and Virgil were friends before. The way the group had just clicked... well, there was no room for jealousy of the past. They were all the closest of friends.

But seeing Patton here, just as terrified for Virgil as Logan himself, Logan could see just how close their bond was.

Logan wasn't one for physical displays of affection, especially in public, but he pulled Patton close. He wrapped his arms tightly around him. He never wanted to let go.

Apparently, Patton had the same thought. They clutched eachother for longer than they ever had, crying and shaking.

Patton finally loosened his grip.

"Thank you," Logan whispered into his friends ear.

Patton looked bewildered. "What for?"

"Understanding."

Patton nodded. "Anytime, Lo. Anytime."

Anxiety

Virgil groaned, his eyes fluttering open. The brilliant lights blinded him momentarily as he tried to gain his bearings. There was quiet muttering all around him. As his vision finally came in to focus, he could see the worried faces looming over him.

"Virgil!" Patton cried out, smiling through his tears. 

"Patton?" Virgil croaked, shielding his eyes from the light. He suddenly became aware of Logan's lips on his own, and then the rushed apologies that spilled out of his boyfriend.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry-"

Virgil reached out for him and gripped his hand tightly. "Relax, Logan," Virgil rasped out. "What's going on? Why am I here?"

He watched as Logan glanced down at his chest and then quickly looked away. He felt his heart sink. Oh God. Does he know? Is that why I'm here? I passed out? Logan must be so upset...

"Virgil," Logan started, his hands trembling. "Why didn't you let us help?" He gestured to Patton and Roman, who was sitting, asleep, on a chair in the corner.

Virgil just shook his head and looked away. No one talked for a long while, and Virgil slowly drifted back to sleep. 

Hi everyone! I'm back, I'm alive, and I'm (kind of) ready to write! This was shorter than normal, but I really wanted to get something out this week. A lot has been going on recently with my mental health. It's a long story, so just pm me if you're interested. I'm not better, per se, but I'm trying. Next update will be next Wednesday. Thank you for your patience!