"Alright, I want to know whose brilliant idea this bullshit was, and what the hell you thought good could come from it," Tony barked, shooting a cold glare at you, Steve and Bucky around the conference room table. "I'll take anything, so let's not clam up now."

The three of you sat quietly, looking to each other to begin, but you felt like it definitely couldn't be you. Any time that Tony took such a firm tone, it had a strange effect on you, leaving you to feel like a kid with no power to speak up; with this actually being a bad decision on your part, it only fed into your feelings of guilt for what had happened and you found yourself at a complete loss for words.

"(Y/N), spill it."

"Dad, it's not a big deal-"

"No, don't give me that little kid excuse crap. It is a big deal," he snapped, pointing to Steve, "look at him. You gave him a wound that needed a few hundred stitches, (Y/N). Do you even remember doing that to him?"

"Mostly, yeah," you admitted sheepishly, glancing to your husband who was trying his best to console you with a gentle smile, mouthing silently that he was okay. "This wasn't the plan. I wanted to spar with Buck to prove to him that I could handle myself, and that I wouldn't lose it again like I did on our mission while you two were gone."

"Smashing success, I would say."

"I shouldn't have done what I did," Bucky added, "it was unfair of me to come at you as the Soldier, but I needed to see if it would work. I needed to see just how badly I screwed you up."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that," Steve joined in, "can you just turn the Soldier off and on now? I thought that when Tony used BARF on us, the triggers were blocked for good?"

"Shoot, I still need to change that acronym," Tony muttered, grabbing the tablet from the table in front of him to put in a reminder for himself.

Bucky pushed back in his chair and shifted his foot on the floor to slowly swing it back and forth, his hands folded in his lap and his gaze at his feet; he didn't want to engage in the conversation at all, but his actions had guaranteed it. This whole thing was his doing, being the one who wanted to see how you could handle him, and then the one who sabotaged it knowingly. He glanced up at you for just the flash of a second, but it was long enough to feel the stab in his chest when the guilt hit him straight on. "No, I uh...I can't turn it off and on. I was just acting like him."

"Damn convincing portrayal," Tony answered.

"Yeah, and it proved my point. You're the person that I've always been scared to find, (Y/N). Back then, I had no idea who you were or who you would become. You were just another enemy to fight. Sure, you were the most challenging by far, but you had anonymity. But now..." he stopped with a heavy sigh, "now you're basically my sister. My actions created you, and then the need for SHIELD to stop me made you into who you are. One sentence from the Soldier, and your switch was flipped."

"Okay, Buck," you replied calmly, reaching out to take his hand, "you're rivaling Dad for beating yourself up here. Everything that you're saying right now is in the past, and we can't change it. You weren't alone in what happened back then, so please stop taking this all on you. There were plenty of others who had their hand in this who should be sitting around this table with us, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"No," you halted him firmly, "no buts. I think what we should be focusing on here is de-programming it out of me. I don't really want it there either, so this was actually helping me to see what was going on. You did the right thing, Buck. You might not see it that way, but I do, okay?"

"Hold on, I sure as shit don't see it that way," Tony stood up and argued. "He had no idea how that could have ended. Bruce had to Hulk out just to stop you from amputating Cap's arm!"

"I think I did okay! I was actually trying to kill him."

A poorly timed drink of his water left Steve spitting and choking, unable to speak and shocked to his very core at your admission because he had no idea at all that you had that as your final goal for him. With a few hard slaps to his back from Bucky, he cleared his throat and spoke, though the waver in his voice could have just has easily been from fear and not the violent choking he had just survived. "Babe. That's not okay."

"Alright, I think that settles this," Tony said remorsefully, locking his gaze with yours, sending a chill through you at the seriousness within it; it was a look that you remembered from childhood punishments, and you felt thrown back there now. "If we can't figure out how to get this out of your head, then I'm sorry, sweetheart, it's just too dangerous. You'll be off the team. Permanently."

~~~

Brooklyn had never been the frantic type, usually the calmest one of the trio, but right now she was running the compound halls in search of you as if her life depended on it. She sprinted through the lounge and across the living room, through the kitchen and up the stairwell, taking a lap around two floors before it finally occurred to her that she was doing this completely wrong.

"FRIDAY," she panted, "where's my mom?"

"She's in the conference room with your dad, grandfather, and Mr. Barnes."

"Thanks!" she answered quickly and took off in her run again, taking the stairs two-at-a-time to get to you as quickly as she could. It gave her the slightest pause when she heard who you were with, but she couldn't let that matter. She had to see you right now before she threw herself into a full-blown panic attack. When she rounded the final corner and burst into the room without warning, the four of you stood immediately in response; you reached her first, kneeling down in front of her to take her arms in your hands to hold her steady.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Mom," she tried to answer, her breaths ragged in her chest and her lower lip beginning to tremble as tears built in her eyes. "Mom..."

"Hey, it's okay, baby. Just take your time."

She sucked in a breath and exhaled shakily, her body shuddering under your touch as the words that mortified her to her core finally spilled out. "Mom...I got my period."

~~~

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Steve grumbled, looking intently at his phone and the list that you had sent him out with. "Why didn't she send Nat or Wanda to do this? I don't even know what some of this stuff is."

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at his poor friend, struggling his way through the feminine products aisle of Target while trying his best to not be noticed. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by what he was there to do, it was more that he was so inept at it and he feared that everyone would try to help, only making him more confused. "Steve, just follow the list. You're making this harder than it needs to be."

"Okay, smartass, then what's an ultra-thin all-nighter with wings and a 3-D capture core?"

His friend did a quick scan of the multitude of products lined up on each side of them, not taking more than a few seconds to find exactly what he was looking for, much to Steve's humiliation. "Right here, bud. Does she want light, medium, or heavy flow?"

"Oh, sweet baby Jesus, I have no idea."

"Medium sounds safe," Bucky nodded, tossing the box into the cart with a snap. "What's next?"

"ThermaCare menstrual pain relief pads."

"Got it," he answered faster than the first time, the box hitting the cart with a bounce. "See, we can do this. Next?"

"Midol."

Now it seemed like Bucky was finding this almost fun, whistling as he searched the boxes of pain relievers lined up in front of him, clapping his hands excitedly when he found the one he wanted. He tossed the product into the air in front of him, slapping it into the cart as if this were all a really strange game. "He shoots, he scores! Next?"

"Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. And Doritos," he groaned, bringing the phone up closer to his face with a squint, reading the words again just to be sure he had them right. "And pickles."

"Nasty," Bucky grimaced. "Okay, but we're done in this aisle, right? Check the list one more time."

Steve scrolled though each line carefully, fully determined that this would be the only trip that he would make for this; at least today, anyway, because he could never say no to his girls. "Nope, wait," he stopped, raising a hand to keep Bucky still, "one more thing. Tampax Gentle Glide...nope, not gonna do that. You read it," he huffed, tossing the device to his friend with a shudder at the thought of what he almost read aloud.

"You're such a wuss, Rogers. It's just tampons. You've been there when Nat bought them for the house, and it wasn't a problem then."

"This is for my daughter, Buck. Totally different."

"Fine, I'll grab 'em," he offered readily, again making his way down the row to find the right ones. "Okay, they have regular and super...so let's just do regular," he muttered to himself, but then paused and turned to Steve when a question came that he didn't know how to answer. "Hey, do you think scented or unscented?" He grabbed a box and brought it up to his nose, taking a deep breath to inhale the floral scent that they carried before jutting it out towards Steve. "Here, take a whiff."

"Buck, no! Who's gonna be around there to notice anyway? What does it matter?"

"A young lady can be very self-conscious about these things, Steve."

"Just throw one in the cart so we can go, alright?" Steve commanded. When his phone vibrated in his hand again he hurried to see what was going on, concerned that something might be happening with Brooklyn that you needed him for. When he saw that it wasn't quite what he was expecting, a crooked grin spread across his face at the thought of what you could be dealing with right now to have sent the message in the first place. "We need to get going. (Y/N) just sent me her alcohol order for the night."