Part 1

"Sweetheart, no expense will be spared!  My baby sister is getting married, and I'm only gonna have one shot to get this right.  I'm gonna be sure that you have the perfect, most beautiful day that you can imagine. If anyone gets in the way, you let big brother Iron Man know.  I will do anything, and I mean anything you want, I promise!"

"Yeah, Tony...about that..."

~~~

It had taken Steve no less than four attempts to propose to you.  Well, four attempts that you knew of.  The first failed attempt involved an epically failed home-cooked meal.  He was so mad at himself that he couldn't imagine how he would feel if you then said no.  He thought with that massive failure, who wouldn't?  The second attempt involved a complete loss of the ring.  The Captain had frantically called each member of the team, offering a reward to its finder.  Pietro easily defeated the search team, but after the hours of panic he endured, Steve was just too tired to try that day.  On the third attempt, he thought for sure he had it.  Third time's the charm, right?  Nope.  He had your favorite restaurant reserved, and had planned to propose during a carriage ride thru Central Park under the stars.  He had just straightened his tie for the last time, ready to meet you, when Fury called with an urgent mission that required the team to leave immediately.  You were both gone for two weeks with not a moment alone.

"I'm so excited to finally be home."  Entering your shared room, you kicked off your boots, let down your hair, and began to remove the spare knives and guns that were hidden in your uniform.  "How about you, Cap?"

With a loud huff, he moved in front of you, planting his feet so you couldn't move any farther.  "(Y/N), I love you.  I'm pretty sure you love me.  Yes or no?" He was done trying to plan the 'perfect' situation.  His frustration had reached its peak, and all he wanted now was an answer and to move forward, one way or another.  He held the small box in front of you, barely breathing as he tried to read your expression. With a wink and a small smirk, you knew there was only one answer.

"What took you so long, Rogers?"

~~~

"Ok, so I've got Buck on best man, Sam, Thor, Bruce, Tony, Clint and Pietro as groomsmen.  Wow, that's quite the lineup, huh?  What've you got?" 

"Nat, Maria, Pep, and Wanda."  Pausing for a moment, you looked up from your wedding planning, "wait, you have more than me.  And you can't have Tony."

"Don't you think he's gonna be a little mad if he's not up there with us?  I mean, come on, he threatens us with the suit if we forget to ask him before we order a pizza."  You smiled at the memory of Iron Man greeting the delivery boy, grabbing the stack of pies and flying off without a word.  No one got dinner that night.

"Of course he's going to be up there, he's my brother.  I just want him to be on my side of the aisle, that's all."

Steve set down his pen, leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin, giving you a quizzical look.  "I don't think Tony has the legs for the dress you've chosen."

"I think he could pull it off, with the right shoes." You laughed when Steve looked at you, unsure if you were joking or not.  "Babe, I'm not even close to serious!"

Clearly relieved, he still wasn't sure of your plan. "Maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned, but aren't the gals supposed to be on one side and the fellas on the other?"

"Yeah, you are old fashioned.  But he's the only family I have on our side.  It's important that he's next to me."  You stood to stretch your legs, knowing there were still hours of details to be worked out.  "Love, you want some coffee?"

"Mmm hmm."  Steve began drawing a small sketch on his papers, his chin resting on his other hand. As you returned, he invited you to look at his work.  "Hey, (Y/N), what do you think?"

It was Tony.  In your bridesmaid dress.

"Steven Grant Rogers!  What did you do?!"

"What?  You're the one who put this image in my head!  This is on you."     

Laughing, you moved to sit on Steve's lap, leaning in to get a closer view of his artwork.  "You know, he really does pull off that color though."

Part 2

With most of the wedding planning finally done, you and your fiancé could begin to enjoy the last few weeks before the big day.  There was only one more thing to do, the one thing you've been putting off because you really weren't sure how it would turn out. You were going to ask Tony to be your man of honor.  You even had to Google what the proper name for it was.  You would wait until he gave a firm yes before telling him the color of tie and vest he would have to wear.

"Hey, doll.  You didn't seem to sleep very well last night, is everything ok?" 

You walked with heavy feet, eyes red and barely open, your hair a mess from tossing and turning all night.  "Morning, hun.  No, I maybe got an hour, if that."  Watching as Steve poured your coffee, you yawned and sat to rest your head on the kitchen table.  "I don't know how I'm going to do this today.  Want to trade days with me?"

"That's hilarious.  Here."  The coffee was good, but not strong enough to get you moving.  "I would, but the fellas and I are getting fitted for our suits, and you and I appear to have very different measurements." 

Already grabbing a refill, you gave Steve a quick kiss and headed for the shower.  Maybe that would wake you up.  "Well, tell the boys I said hi, and please stay out of trouble.  Wish me luck, I suppose."  As he walked out the door, he called back to you.

"Twenty bucks says he ends up standing on my side."

"You're on, old man."

~~~

Nope.  Still damn tired. 

You were going to meet up with Tony in the lab in twenty minutes.  You had just enough time to make a call that could hopefully give you some ideas on how to approach this. 

"Hey, (Y/N), what's up?"

"Morning, Pep.  Listen, I need to ask you something, and I want your honest opinion, okay?" 

You heard a small laugh on the other end of the line. "I can assume this is about Tony. You haven't talked to him yet, have you?"

Flopping down on the couch, you let out a sigh and rubbed your temples.  "No. I'm meeting with him in a few minutes. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this.  I'm sure he would agree to stand with me, right?  I mean, it's not like he has to use the 'maid of honor' title or anything. Maybe the pink attire will be the breaking point.  Oh, Pep, what if he says no?"

"Bring lunch.  He's always agreeable on a full stomach; it's the only time I can get any work out of him!"  She paused for a moment, considering her answer.  "Seriously, honey, he's going to say yes.  He loves you.  He's going to do whatever you want, you know that."

"Yeah, but I've got twenty bucks riding on this.  The stakes are pretty high."

~~~

The sounds of AC/DC filled the lab, and you couldn't help but smile.  It meant that Tony was in a good mood today.  Maybe this will be ok.  Maybe you were nervous for nothing.  Maybe you didn't need to bring his favorite lunch and waste eighty-five freaking dollars on Mr. Expensive Tastes.

As you entered the lab, Tony was working on modifications for his suit, so focused that he didn't see you come in.  "Hey, boss.  Making progress?"  You set the bag of food in front of him; he furiously ripped the container open, immediately shoveling food into his mouth.  "Sure, no need to say hi or anything, you big pig."

With a mouthful of pasta, he mumbled, "hey, kid."  You stood and watched as he finished his entire meal in minutes.  Tony had impressed you in many ways over the years with his inventions and discoveries, but this skill would not be added to that list.  "Drink?"

"Jesus, Tony.  If you had an ounce of self-control maybe I would have had time to get us something."  He threw his empty containers on the lab table, looking in the bag for more. "Hey, get outta there!  That's mine!"  You slapped his hand away.  "Don't you ever eat?" 

He threw his hands up in defeat.  "Fine, fine, fine.  I won't touch it."  He stood to give you a small kiss on the cheek, "it was great though, thank you. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Suddenly your appetite was gone.  "Um, well, Tony, I was hoping...going to ask you...if you...if you would consider..."

Tony walked over to you, gently holding you by your shoulders.  "Hey. What's going on?  You're worrying me.  Is something wrong?"  As he spoke, you looked at the floor, trying to get your nerves under control.  He lifted your chin so that your eyes would meet his. "It's just me."

"Ok.  So, I know that you said you would walk me down the aisle, right?"  He nodded, still cautious.  "Well, Steve has Bucky at his side as his best man because they've known each other forever and are practically family.  The entire team makes up our wedding party.  He was going to ask you to stand as a groomsman, but I want you to stand with me.  You and I are the only family we have, and it's important to me to have you by my side." You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat, and took a deep breath.  "I want you to be my...man of honor."

He let out a loud, bellowing laugh as he pulled you into a tight hug.  "That was it? That's what you were so nervous about? Oh, sweetheart, of course I will. I told you I would do anything you wanted, remember?"

Your whole body relaxed; relieved by his answer, you returned the hug.  "Thanks, T. I love you."

"I love you too, kid."  He stepped back, holding you at arm's length.  "Wait, I have one condition."  He turned back, looking towards the table.

"Fine.  You can have my lunch."

Once again, the shameless shoveling of food began.  You leaned down on the table in front of him, smirking at his vow to do anything you wanted.  "What?" he asked, again, his mouth full. 

"There's one more thing.  Your tie and vest are pink to match my bridesmaids."

Part 3

Tony stopped mid-chew, his face blank.  He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"That's not what I meant."

Standing straight you folded your arms in front of you. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"When I said I would do anything.  Come on, kid.  I'm Iron Man. I can't wear...pink."  The word came out like it hurt him to even speak it.  "The other guys are wearing black.  It's classy.  It's more...me."

You snatched the food out of his hand, throwing it in the nearby garbage.

"You know what, Tony?  Not everything is about you." You stormed out of the lab, leaving him shocked and staring blankly after you.

~~~

As Steve entered the common room, it was dark except for the glow of the TV.  "Captain Rogers, Miss (Y/N) requests to be 'left the hell alone'."  He stopped, confused.  "Thanks, FRIDAY, but I'll take my chances."

Moving to stand behind the couch, he was shocked at the sight before him.  Your hair was a mess, Kleenex surrounding you as you were burrowed deep in a blanket, holding a rather large bowl of ice cream.  Various other snack items were strewn across the table in front of you, wrappers and half-eaten cookies thrown haphazardly towards the garbage, missing the mark by a mile. 

So not to startle you, he whispered, "What the hell did he do now?"

Dammit, FRIDAY. "Traitor" you mumbled.  "Oh, you know.  Just being Tony."  You looked around at the mess in front of you, realizing what you had actually eaten over the past hour.  "I think I feel sick."

Steve laughed a bit at this, not really feeling sorry for you. "I can't imagine why."  He picked up a pop tart wrapper and eyed you curiously. "Really?  You know, Thor isn't going to be happy about this.  You like to take your chances with Gods these days?" With a sharp glare from you, he quickly dropped it again.  "Or, hey, good luck to him on that." 

He walked slowly to the front of the couch and knelt down next to you.  "If I'm quiet, can I stay?"  You nodded, lifting the end of the blanket so he could move in behind you.  As you leaned back against his chest, you let out a quiet sob.

"Want me to kick his ass?"

Sniffling, you laughed softly, "Hell no, you can't take that pleasure away from me."

~~~

Tony hadn't spoken to you in several weeks, and in just two days you would be marrying Steve.  It wasn't for a lack of trying on his part; he tried to call or text you every day, with no luck.  Even FRIDAY, his own invention, was working with you, alerting you every time he has nearby.  For the life of him, he couldn't figure out how to override it.  Guess he wasn't the only genius in town.

"Hey, Pepper?  Have you talked to (Y/N) lately?

Pepper stepped out of their shared room, looking at him like he was speaking an alien language.  "Do you not remember me coming home drunk from her bachelorette party two nights ago?  Clearly, I've talked to her.  Just today, as a matter of fact."

He furrowed his brow and dropped his shoulders, defeated. "So, am I still even invited?"

"Oh, Tony, of course you are.  She doesn't know what to say to you; you really pissed her off this time."  She walked over to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.  "Trust me, when she sees you, and more importantly, when you see her in that gorgeous dress, this will all be forgotten."  Turning to walk away, she looked back at him.  "Just don't fuck up anything else in the next two days."

~~~

Steve was on the other side of the door, his hand resting on it as if to try to touch you.  "I wish I could see you." 

You mirrored his position on the other side.  "I know, babe.  Me too."  You looked down at your dress and smoothed the fabric.  "I look good."

"Five minutes!"  The call to line up.  Oh, your nerves were raging now.  You began to feel a little nauseated, grabbing a bottle of water to calm yourself.

"I love you.  I'll see you up there, ok?"  You took a deep breath, steadying your hands.  "I love you, too.  Don't get started without me."

One final look in the mirror to be sure everything was in place.  Hair, check. Make-up, check.  Jewelry, check.  Ridiculously uncomfortable shoes, check.  As you turned to leave, there was a gentle knock at the door.  "Steve, you can't see me, seriously."

"It's me."  Tony. Straightening your resolve, you invited him in.

When the door opened, you lost your breath.  "So, how do I look?"

Your eyes welled with tears, your voice shaking.  "Tony, I...I didn't think..."

His tie and vest were pink. 

"Sweetheart, I said I would do anything.  I can't break that promise, never to you."  He took your hand, turning you around to see all of you.  "My god, you are beautiful."  You heard a small sniffle and quickly turned to see him wipe his eyes.

"No.  Tony, we can't do this right now."  He held his arm out to you as you linked yours thru, walking you out to give you away to your soon-to-be husband.  "Keep it under control, Stark." 

As you turned the corner to face into the chapel, you stopped and locked your gaze with Steve.  It was all so perfect.  He was perfect.  Your nerves were gone and you had never been more ready for anything.  As the music began, Tony put his hand over yours and began the walk to the front. 

Looking at your bridal party, you had never been more proud to call these people your friends, your family.  They cleaned up pretty well, too.  You could see tears in Steve's eyes as Bucky reached out to give him a supportive slap on the shoulder.  "You got this, buddy.  You got this."

Tony stopped before Steve, slowly giving your hand to him. You looked between the two men as if to warn them to behave.  Tony simply kissed your cheek and moved to stand at your side.  "Love you, kid."

As you stepped up to the minister, you joined hands with Steve.  He gave you a mischievous look as you felt something in your hand.  Looking down, you couldn't help but laugh.

It was a twenty dollar bill.

Part 4

"You know, when I signed on as a bridesmaid I never expected this.  Can't the man-of-honor take this over?  Seems like a job for higher up on the bridal food chain." 

Natasha had crammed into the bathroom at the tower with you, pushing your dress practically over your head so you could use the restroom successfully.  "I'm sorry, Nat, I haven't peed since this morning.  I owe you."

She pulled the dress down just enough to make eye contact. "Are we about done down there?  I don't think I can feel my arms anymore."

"Yes, yes, I'm done."  You sighed, looking left to right.  "Nat, how the hell do we get out of here?  I feel like I'm stuck in marshmallow fluff."

She laughed, and you weren't sure if she was being serious or not.  "Call the Avengers?"

~~~

After scaling the stall wall and straddling the door, Nat was able to get you and your massive dress out of the bathroom without incident.  "I am not doing that again.  Next time you hold it or you find someone else."

"Yes, ma'am."  Helping her adjust her own dress after that escapade, you gave her a quick hug. "Alright, this girl is starving! The diet is officially over!"

Entering the lounge, now filled with your guests and your wedding party, you searched for your new husband.  Finding him, you made eye contact that stopped him in his tracks. "Excuse me, Captain Rogers, what do you think you're doing?"

He was frozen in place, holding a large spoon full of potatoes, looking at you like a small child caught doing something wrong. "I...uh...they told us we could eat now..."

Squinting your eyes at him, you smirked, "you're lucky I love you."

"Well that kinda goes without saying, don't ya think?" Tony had stepped up next to Steve, grabbing a plate.

"Oh, no you don't!"  Snatching the plate from his hands, you began to quickly pile food on it. "I'm eating first.  None of you have been on a 16-week diet, and I dare you to get in my way." 

Tony raised his hands in defeat, grabbing a new plate. Pepper stepped in behind him, leaning in to whisper, "what did I say about not fucking up anything else?"

~~~

As much as you loved kissing Steve, this incessant clinking of glasses needs to stop.  It was getting out of hand, and you just wanted to eat the cake that Tony spent way too much money on.  After a too-quick kiss that left the crowd booing, Bucky stood up and cleared his throat. "Excuse me, everyone?  I would like to toast my best friend and his lovely bride."

Steve grabbed your hand, giving it a firm squeeze and taking a deep breath. 

"You're okay, babe."

"Little Stevie and I have known each other since we were just kids runnin' around Brooklyn.  We did everything together, Steve and me.  Even when I was out chasing dames around the block, Steve was by my side.  But he was always looking for 'the one', 'the right partner', as he would say. He's not one to settle, not one to stop until he finds the ones he loves, and he'll fight to the death to protect them. (Y/N), the first time I saw him with you, I knew our runnin' days were long gone.  I can only hope to find someone that makes me look at them the way he looks at you.  For a guy who's dedicated to saving everyone, it's great to see someone finally saving him. Steve, my brother, it looks like you finally found your partner, and I'm so honored and lucky to be here to watch you dance."

Steve stood to hug Bucky, not ashamed at the tears in his eyes.  Your husband whispered something as they pulled away, but you didn't hear.  Bucky nodded his head, his expression soft. They shared a small handshake as they returned to their seats.

You looked at Steve as he answered you before you spoke, "yeah, I'm good."

A moment had passed before Tony was ready to take his turn. He was sitting rather still, looking at you as if deep in thought.  Did he really not prepare a speech?  You couldn't read his expression at all.  You gave him a small smile, but his face didn't change. 

"Steve, what's going on with Tony?"

He wrapped his arms around your waist, looking over your shoulder at his new brother-in-law.  "Did he forget his speech somewhere?"

Just as you were about to ask him what was going on, he stood.

"Hey, everyone, it's my turn."  Steve held you a little tighter as Tony began, sensing the rush of emotions in you.  "You all know that (Y/N) and I didn't know each other as kids, which really is a shame because those were some of my best years."  You gave him a playfully stern look, and he smiled just a bit.  Again, he paused, staring at the table.  "When this kid came into my life, I wasn't ready for it to be flipped upside down like it was.  She's not afraid to put me in my place.  She's not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong.  She's not afraid to love me for who I am, flaws and all.  I grew up alone, not really needing anyone else, or so I thought.  But now I see how wrong I was.  I have the best little sister that I could ever ask for, and now I'm getting a brother too.  Steve, I know I don't really show it, but I know that there's no one else as deserving of my sister as you."  He pointed at Steve, "don't mess this up.  (Y/N), I can't thank you enough for bringing so much unexpected joy to my life. I need to make sure I'm doing the same for you.  Also, I wore pink today, so that alone should tell you how much I love you, kiddo."

You jumped up from your seat, grabbing him in a tight hug. "Oh my god, Tony.  Did you just come up with that on the fly?"  Pulling back, you made an attempt to salvage your makeup from the onslaught of tears running down your face.

"Sweetheart, I'll never tell."  Reaching past you, he gave Steve a firm handshake and a small nod. You now wondered if they had discussions about you when you weren't there.  Yes, you were sure of it.  Now that you think about it, they've been getting along for a while now, and that only raised your suspicions. 

As you sat back down to finish dessert, you started to not feel so well.  Pushing your plate away, you sat back in your chair with a small sigh.

"Hey, babe, you ok?" 

"Yeah, just a little upset stomach.  Too much excitement for one day, I guess.  I'll be right back."  You motioned for Nat to follow you.  As you got closer to the bathroom, you quickened your pace and made it just in time.

~~~

"(Y/N), what the hell?"  Nat was helping to hold your hair back, trying to keep you calm. 

"I don't know, this just came on out of nowhere.  Ok, I'm getting up, I think it's done."  As you stood you realized just how uncomfortable you were.  "God, I feel like this dress is crushing me.  It fit so well at my last appointment before we picked it up." Pulling on the dress, you tried and failed to make it more tolerable.  You glanced up at Nat, who was giving you a skeptical look.  "What?"

"How long ago was that, (Y/N)?

You searched your brain for a date, "Um, like 4 or 5 weeks ago?  Why?"

She shook her head, smiling.  "Oh, no reason.  Ok you, off to your party you go!"  As you cleared the bathroom door, she paused.  "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

~~~

The music was just getting started as Nat returned, grabbing you by the arm.  "Hey, I need you for a minute."

Giving Steve a quick kiss, you stood to follow her. "I'll be right back, wait for me."

"Yeah, like I could dance without you and not fall over my own feet."

Bursting into the bathroom, she held out a box.  "Here, pee on this."

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth was agape.  "Nat, you've got to be kidding!"

"I'm dead serious.  Only something this important would get me to cram this dress in there again. Now let's go." 

~~~

Time could not move any slower.  You had gone to get Steve while the clock ticked by, unable to wait for this on your own.  You stood face-to-face, arms around each other, swaying slowly to the music that you could hear in the next room.  Who cared that your first dance was in a bathroom anyway? 

The timer dinged.

"Nat, you have to look, I can't." 

She handed the stick to you quickly, refusing to look.  "No way, this is between you guys!"

You looked at Steve, and reached up for a kiss.  You both looked down together at the stick in your hands.

"Oh, boy."

Part 5

The pangs of nausea had returned once the realization of the moment had hit you.  You were still holding the stick in your hands, Steve's hands trembling slightly as he held yours.  Neither of you had looked up from the results yet, scared to make this moment real; uncertain of how to make time continue on.

With a small shake of your head and clearing of your throat, you thought that someone needed to say something or you might stand this way forever.

"Nat, could you give us-" You looked up but your friend was no longer there.  You were so lost in the moment that you didn't even notice.  Concerned that she had run out and spread the news, you gasped and looked up at your husband, as your unrest grew.  "When did she leave?"

As Steve looked down at you, tears were close to spilling over from his striking blue eyes.  His expression wasn't that of anxiety as you had expected, as you were feeling, but rather a calm resolve had come over him.  For just a moment you were lost in the experience he was having, letting go of your own fears.  "She left before we looked.  She said it was too private to be here."

"Oh sure, too private to stay for the results, but not so private that she couldn't drag me from my own reception to get me to pee on a stick for her."  Making light of the situation didn't calm your nerves quite as you had hoped.  Your breathing was becoming shaky and erratic, as the nausea was growing more persistent.

Pulling your hands from Steve's, you quickly turned towards the sink to gather up some cool water for your face.  "Oh, I think I need to sit down."  With the lack of a proper place to sit, and refusal to shove the massive dress into one of those damn tiny stalls again, you sat yourself down on the floor with your back to the wall.  You gave a small, groaning sigh, holding your head in your hands.  "Babe, how did this happen?"

Steve sat on the floor next to you, his knees pulled up and his hands folded above them.  "Well, (Y/N), from what I'm told, when the mommy and the daddy really love each other..."

Your laugh was sudden and genuine, releasing the built up tension that your body was holding.  "Oh my god, Steve!"  Wiping tears from your eyes, your laugh slowly diminished to a quiet sigh.  "Oh, that's not what I meant.  But thanks for the attempt."  You leaned into him, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek.  A bright lipstick mark was left behind on his chiseled face, but you chose to leave it there in the lightness of the moment.

"So, Captain Rogers, what do we do now?  You're the 'star spangled man with a plan', so let's have it."

He scoffed at that, closing his eyes and lowering his head. "Well, I think we should get off of this floor, because, well, it's the bathroom.  Then, we go out there and have our first dance- our real first dance- and we have a fun night with our friends and loved ones."

You looked at him as if he had missed the point completely. "Ok, I agree, but what do we say?"

'Nothing.  We say nothing."

"Honey, come on.  You know that Nat is gonna hound us until we crack, and you're a terrible liar." 

He feigned a look of shock and disbelief.  "Am not!  I've gotten so much better!"

"Mmm hmm."  You rolled your eyes a bit, poking your tongue at him thru your smudged lips. "Okay," you started, with exasperation in your tone, "they say that you shouldn't announce until the first
trimester is done, or so I've heard.  Sounds a bit superstitious but right now, I'm okay with it.  So, we keep this between you and me until then."  It was a statement that sounded more like a question, allowing for him to approve or deny the thought.

"Between you and me."  He held up his left pinky finger at you, his expression eager for you to do the same.

You held your pinky finger to his.  "And we tell everyone together when we're ready."

Wrapping his finger around yours, he pulled in you in for a kiss.  "Yes, mom...I mean, ma'am!"

~~~

"Seriously?  Couldn't wait until the party was over?"  Tony reached up and tipped Steve's head to the side, revealing the red lipstick still on his skin.  "Wow, old man, it's even past your bedtime."

Steve straightened his posture and took a step closer to Tony, a smirk on his face.  "Stark, with your sister, I'm not sleeping much these days."

Tony sucked in a breath and set his jaw firmly.  Steve's head bobbed forward as you reached up and smacked him with a resonating thud.  "You're both too old for this.  Get it together."

While your brother and husband continued to banter back and forth, struggling for the upper hand, Natasha got your attention and summoned you over to her at the bar.  She leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper.  "Hey, (Y/N), so?  What happened after I left?"

"Guess it was just nerves after all, sorry to disappoint you."

She slammed her closed fist down on the bar, grabbing two wine glasses with the other.  " Dammit! I was so sure that I was on to something..."

~~~

During the next two months, your skills as a spy came in quite handy.  It wasn't easy for you and Steve to attend your doctor visits without drawing the attention of your teammates, coming back to the tower with hidden pregnancy books and baby items.  You could only talk about it when the tower was empty or when you were alone in your room. A few slips here and there and some strange looks from Tony convinced you that someone on the team must know by now. Things were going well so far, but despite that, you could feel Steve becoming more uneasy and worried as time went on.  He didn't want to talk about it, repeatedly saying that everything was fine.  He had convinced himself, but you weren't nearly so certain.   

Then one day it had finally had taken its toll on him. 

At 5:30 in the morning, your peaceful slumber was interrupted by the sounds of Steve rummaging through his gear, preparing to pack them for travel.  Slowly opening one eye, then even slower to open the other, you tiredly rubbed your hands over your face and sat up to watch him. 

"Hey, where are you headed off to?"

'We've been called in for a mission, some HYDRA lab in Southeast Asia."  He continued to pack as he spoke, but you sensed tension from him.  Out of character, he wasn't making eye contact as he talked to you.  "Sounds like we'll be gone for a couple of weeks at best."

"So," you took a step closer to your husband, your tone cautious, "who's on the team for this one?"  You were certain that you already knew the answer before he spoke a single word. He had found reasons for you to sit out the last two missions already, and oddly enough, Tony had agreed, solidifying your theory that someone else knew.

He wasn't facing you.  You could feel his apprehension, and heard a small groan as he began to speak. "Myself, Tony, Romanoff and Barton."

"Steve..."

"No."

"Why not?"  You moved to stand in front of him, forcing him to look at you.  When his eyes met yours, they were almost cold, holding his resolve to not give in to you.  You knew that it was something he was never able to do.

His hands dropped to his sides, his expression changing from stern to disbelieving.  "You can really ask me that?  (Y/N), you've got to be kidding."  He turned away from you again, returning to the task at hand and hoping that you would drop the topic altogether. 

Your fatigue was all but a memory now as your anger began to build.  "Steve. There's no reason why I can't still be a part of this team.  In a few months, sure, I'll have to sit these out, but right now I'm still very capable!" You grabbed his arm, turning him towards you again, holding him so he couldn't turn away.  "Do you not trust me?" 

"It's not you I don't trust!  I don't trust anyone else!  Not even the rest of the team.  Hell, not even myself.  What if I can't be there to protect you and you get hurt?  How could you consider this?"  He stepped away from you, pacing.  After a moment he turned to you, his hands on his hips.  "I'm sorry, (Y/N).  I can't allow it."  He paused and shook his head, "actually, I'm not sorry.  This is my decision, and it's the right one."     

"So, that's your final say?  That's a 'no' then?"

Part 6

"No.  No way in hell are you going with us."  Steve stood in front of you with his arms folded tightly across his chest, towering above you with as much authority as he could muster. 

Rarely did you argue with Steve about the missions he was leading.  He was the Captain, after all, and he knew what he was doing better than any other member of the team.  But this was different.  You could feel it.  Your empathic powers could be the most useful tool in the team's arsenal. 

The team was going into a HYDRA lab after receiving a tip that multiple enhanced humans were being held there.  Your powers could help to read them and maybe, just maybe help to slow down whatever powers these new mutants would throw your way.  Wanda had just returned home to Sokovia to assist in rebuilding after Ultron's attack, so you were the only one who could feel what these new enhanced were going thru.  You could make them understand that the Avengers were good, and were there to help them.  Failing that, you could at least attempt to control their emotions long enough to let your team escape.

You began slowly, holding your hands in front of you to show Steve that you had no intention of interfering with his feelings.  "Steve. I don't understand where this is coming from.  What's going on with you and I should have no bearing on this mission.  Never once have I acted unsafely on a mission, and I'm definitely not about to start.  I have never put myself in harm's way.  You've trained me yourself!"

Your eyes widened as a realization hit you, "Is this your idea alone, or is the team in on this too?!" You quickly spun on your heel, heading for the tower's common room to confront any Avenger you could corner.

"Don't even think about running to Tony!  He's with me on this!"

That stopped you in your tracks.  "Excuse me? Since when does my brother have any say in what I do? And since when do you two agree on anything?"  Slowly and carefully stepping towards the Captain, you could feel your own anger about to boil over.  "I'm not running to Tony." 

And then it hit you. The one person that you knew would be on your side.

"I'm going to find Nat." With that you were gone, leaving a wide-eyed Steve to chase after you.

Natasha, Tony, and Clint were reviewing files on the HYDRA base when you slammed the doors open, charging forward, ready to crack them wide open. 

"Jesus, (Y/N)!  What did the Capsicle do this time?  You look ready to kill." Tony chuckled, while keeping a safe distance behind the bar.  He'd felt your wrath many times, and was none to keen on going there again any time soon.  For a peacekeeper, you were quite adept at stirring things up.

"Get your ass over here, Stark.  We're gonna have words."  You planted your feet, standing tall, ready to hold your ground.  "Nat, it would seem that the testosterone team over here feel it best that I sit out this mission.  What are your thoughts on that?  You know, ass-kicking woman to ass-kicking woman?"

Steve had quickly stepped in after you, moving to take a stand next to Tony.  "Oh sure, the one time you guys decide to get along, and it pisses me off."  The one thing you wanted was for your husband and brother to agree on something, anything, just to stop the bickering.  It was a childish game, and you had no desire to be caught in the middle.  But now, with them on the same side, finally, you found yourself hoping to crack their shared resolve. 

With a deep breath, Tony slowly began, "sweetheart, I don't like to agree with Spangles any more than I have to, you know that.  But...and this truly, physically hurts me...he's right."  He jumped back quickly, as if his words shocked even himself.

"Ok, now I've heard everything.  What the hell is going on?"  Natasha and Clint moved in a bit closer, but still kept a safe distance.  A team brawl wouldn't end well for anyone, and honestly, the tower was finally looking like a home again after the whole terrifying 'Tony-and-Bruce-made-a-killer-robot' fiasco.

Steve stood in front of you, towering above you, so close that your bodies were almost touching.  You swore that you could hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest.  As you looked up at him, you barely recognized him.  His eyes were dark, his jaw set, and his expression stern.  You fought the urge to touch him, to calm him down, but that would break his trust in you.  It took all of your will to maintain eye contact; you could feel yourself about to relent when he finally spoke.

"Agent (Y/L/N) is not going on this mission.  And that's my final say on this."

Uncharacteristically, Tony's head was lowered, allowing the Captain to take control.  Natasha was about to interject when Steve finally put his hand on your shoulder, his expression softening ever so slightly in that only you would notice.  You whispered, "Don't", hoping to keep this secret. Hoping to not lose the faith you have built with your team.  Hoping to just hold on a little longer to your own destiny, but Steve ignored it.

"Because she's pregnant."

Part 7

It felt like you had been walking for days.  That was the beauty of New York; it went on forever and anonymity wasn't as hard to achieve as one might think.  The crying had finally subsided somewhere around mile four, if you had to guess.  The anger really kicked in around mile six; you celebrated the new, colorful and mostly vulgar names you had assigned to Steve and Tony, looking forward to a satisfying verbal battle. But it was short-lived, as between miles eight and nine you just felt defeated and all you wanted was to burrow deep into your bed and never come out.  Screw you, hormones.

Ice cream.  Must find ice cream. 

No.  Something salty.  Didn't New York have pretzel stands on every block? 

Oh yes, pizza.  Come to mama.

~~~

Ok, so pizza may not have been the best choice.  You had started to read the pregnancy books Steve had given you, but they really didn't do justice to the nausea and amount of vomiting that actually happens.  So much for keeping a low profile.  In hindsight, the ice cream may have been a better choice on the replay.

~~~

Alright, we can do this.  Two more miles and we're home, kid. 

Wow, you're really in there, aren't you? 

It wasn't that you didn't want this to happen.  You have had so many discussions with Steve about starting a family, but the right time just never came.  The conversations always ended with 'someday', and took a backseat to the missions at hand.  The team had always come first; an idea that sounds ridiculous now given your new situation. Since joining the Avengers, you had finally found the family you wanted.  No, the family you needed.  Your commitment and loyalty to the team is who you are now.  Steve had been the biggest part of that transformation in you, but now, this was a side of your Captain that you had yet to witness for yourself.     

Honestly, there was a part of you that thought that Steve would never be ready.  He didn't know that you heard his comment to Tony, that a different man came out of the ice than the one who went in 75 years ago. This wasn't planned.  Not right now.  Was he just scared?  Because he'd be hard pressed to match the fear you were feeling.  Selfishness be dammed, you were happy with your life the way it was.  You weren't ready to give up saving the world.  It felt like your true purpose.

Great, more tears.  Couldn't wait until we got home, huh?

About three blocks from the tower you were startled by a loud roar overhead.  Looking up you saw Tony fly over, followed by the Quinjet. What was going on?  Tapping each pocket, only then did you realize that you had forgotten your phone, angry to just get away from everyone as you rushed out the door. 

If they're looking for me, I'm never going to live this down.

Running the last few blocks, you rushed through security to get upstairs, hoping someone from the team was still there.  Hesitantly, you opened yourself to outside emotions, trying to get a read on what was happening.  Steve must still be there.  The raging anger you felt from him before had calmed down, coupled now with anxiety and remorse.  That's right, Cap.  You should feel like a jerk.  There was only one place he could be; you ran to the gym to see him there, furiously punching and kicking the bag with sloppy and random hits, panting and sweaty.

"You know, for a team of superheroes and master spies, you all suck at finding people."

He spun around so fast to face you he nearly lost his balance.  He charged forward, pushing you back against the wall.  "You were gone for hours.  You left your phone behind.  Do you realize that all I could think of was the worst happening to you?  What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I am terrified, Steve!  Have you even stopped to consider what I am feeling right now?  I wasn't ready for this yet!"  Shoving him back, he stumbled a little, but he was firmly planted in place as if to cling to his self control.  "This is between you and me, Rogers.  You had no right to bring the team into this, not yet.  You get to go on being Captain America, Steve.  What about me?  I'm the one who has to do this.  I'm the one who suddenly has to change everything.  I'll be nothing more than a mascot for this team if you get your way!"

His face dropped, his eyes now filled with pain and confusion.  "I...I just...(Y/N)..." He turned away, slowly unwrapping his bloodied hands.

"Steve?  Do you even want this to happen?"

Part 8

"Steve?  Do you even want this to happen?"

Spinning quickly on his heel he was again facing you.  What happened next would be the only time that you've ever felt afraid of Steve Rogers.  He slammed his fists into the wall on either side of you, startling you enough that you quickly closed your eyes, afraid to watch his anger unfold.  His voice was raised, but his tone was dark and cold.  "How can you even say that to me?!"

You were silent.  You were too shocked to speak, and even if you did, what would you say? His furious glare lasted only a few seconds, but for you it was an eternity.  Realizing what he had just done, his face was filled with remorse and shock at his own actions.  He closed his eyes and took several steps back from where you stood, his hands raised in front of him to demonstrate his withdrawal.

"(Y/N), I...I'm so..."

You were already gone.

~~~

You are not going to cry.  You're not. Stop it.  Stop. 

Are there no goddamn Kleenex in this place?

Going to the room you shared with Steve wasn't an option, the gym was obviously out, and the common room was buzzing with the start of team movie night.  Knowing that Tony loved nothing more than choosing a movie that everyone would suffer thru, and would never miss movie night, you hid in his darkened lab.

"FRIDAY?" 

"Yes, miss?"

"Don't let anyone know I'm here, ok?"

"Yes, miss."

~~~

"Alright, everyone!  I have tonight's movie selection!"  A collective groan filled the room, before Tony even had the chance to announce the title.  "Come on, guys.  This is a great one, I swear!"  He joyfully clapped his hands together, looking rather pleased with himself.  "Ok, without further ado, our cinematic experience will be...wait.  Where's (Y/N) and Gramps?  FRIDAY, locate them please."

"Captain Rogers is currently in the gymnasium.  I have been asked to not divulge the location of miss (Y/N)."

Tony looked at the group, confused, then worried.  "FRIDAY, override that request."

"Sir..."

"NOW, FRIDAY.  Or so help me, I'm pulling the plug."

"Yes, sir.  Miss (Y/N) is in the lab, but she has barricaded the door."

Tony straightened his posture, quickly exiting the common room. "Alright, kids.  Movie night is cancelled.  Barnes, go find out what he did."  The team exchanged glances, knowing this won't have a good ending.  With a loud sigh, Bucky reluctantly stood, disappointed.  "But I was ready for movie night!"

~~~

"Open the door."

You were lying on Tony's work table, finally done crying, feeling exhausted and needing to sleep.  The last thing in the world that you wanted to do was to explain this to your brother.  With hands over your face, you took a deep breath, reluctantly answering him, "Tony, just leave me alone."  The sound of a repulsor charging startled you to attention, jumping off the table. 

"Are you fucking serious?!"

"I. Said. Open. The. Door."

You quickly opened it, met with the sight of your anxious brother wearing the left hand of his suit, aimed now directly at you.  Reaching out, you pushed it sharply to the side.  "Tony, what the hell?  Your suit?  Really?!"

He pushed past you into the lab, setting the metal hand on the table.  "Tell me." 

As much as you would normally appreciate 'big brother mode', now wasn't one of those times.  "Tony, it's fine.  Couples argue, and we'll figure it out.  This really isn't of public concern, and honestly, I don't want your help."  Ever since Tony had taken Steve's side about keeping you off the mission, you had kept your distance and had spoken very little.

"You're the one who locked themselves in MY lab.  I have every right to be here and to find out why you've trespassed."  Oh, he looked arrogant, even more so than usual.

At that moment, your emotions betrayed you; you were just so tired.  I'm a hormonal mess, you thought.  You leaned back against the door and slumped down to the floor.  Tears streaming down your face, you let it all out; your fears, your doubts in Steve, the argument, and that moment that had you locking yourself away.  Your words were quiet but rushed, as if to rid yourself of them. 

That last part may not have been such a great idea, in retrospect.

By now, Tony had moved to stand next to you, filled with rage. "He put his fists thru the wall? He raised his hands to you?" 

"Tony, no.  He was just letting off his anger.  He wasn't aiming at me, and he never would, you know that!"  He wasn't listening.  Stretching out his arm, the suit's hand flew across the room, charging with energy as it connected with its owner.  "Tony, stop, come back here!"  He wasn't slowing as you called behind him, now running just to keep up.

"FRIDAY, I'm gonna need some help in the gym!"

Part 9

There was no way for this to get any worse.

Tony was lying flat on his back, Thor's hammer on his chest. Thor looked down at him, challenging him to try to move.  Clint was disassembling the suit's hand in the nearby corner.  Steve was pinned to the wall, Bucky's metal arm holding him firmly and unable to move.  And then there you were, standing at the center of the room between the two men, a gun aimed at each of them.  The gym had been all but destroyed in the argument.  Exhausted and disgusted, you dropped the guns to the floor, trying to catch your breath.  Your only option was to leave.   

"Tony...I'm taking the house."

~~~

The rebuilding of Tony's mansion in Malibu was still underway, but enough had been done so that you could live there in peace, away from both Steve and your brother.  You weren't sure how long you would stay, but that didn't matter.  You would stay as long as you needed to get your head straight and to figure out what was going on with Steve.  You stood in the center of the living room, admiring the ocean view. Dropping your bags at your sides, you began to sob uncontrollably.

~~~

The daily arrival of flowers began almost immediately. Most were from Steve, but a few were from Tony also.  You had made it very clear to the team that no one was to visit you, no one was to call, and you had programmed FRIDAY to keep her big mouth shut about your status. Tony would certainly be cursing himself for teaching you how to encrypt commands into her program. 

Sitting on the balcony, you admired the collection of floral arrangements.  Hmmm. Cocking your head to the side, you surveyed the various shapes of vases, deciding to line them up along the railing. Yes, this will work very well.  Thanks, boys.

Grabbing your gun, you took aim, shooting each vase off the balcony one by one.  The explosion of glass was soothing somehow, almost poetic in its similarity to your current emotions.  When you had completely destroyed the final arrangement, clearly marked, I'm sorry, you sat back in your lounge chair, eyes closed. You didn't feel any better after all.

You must have dozed off because the sun was just beginning to set. You were startled awake when Tony landed next to you, the face plate of the suit quickly opening to show his face, frantic and anxious.  "What the hell is going on here?!"  He jumped out of the suit and ran into the house, checking that there was no threat inside.  You stood and waited, arms folded, eyes closed.  After a few minutes, he returned.  "FRIDAY told me there was shooting!"

Dropping your arms at your sides, you sighed and turned away. "Go home, Tony."

"No.  I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this!  I'm fine to let you go on staying here, for as long as you want.  But I'm not leaving until you talk to me. Please."  That may have been the first time he uttered that word to you.

"Fine.  Stay.  Talk." You motioned for him to go into the house.  "Then go."

Your phone began to ring.  Pulling it from your pocket, you snorted as you saw Steve's name on the screen. Decline. 

"I've talked to Capsicle.  He's pretty shaken over this whole thing."  Tony poured himself a drink and sat on the couch across from you. "You know there's no love lost there with us, but I can't help but feel like I want to believe him."

The phone rang again.  Decline.

You put your face in your hands, exasperated.  "Well, brother, you know more than I do at this point.  I haven't talked to him since the argument at the tower."

Again.  Decline.

"What I don't understand is how one minute we discuss starting a family, and in the next minute when the reality is in front of him, he loses his mind."  You paused to look at him.  "I heard what he said to you, you know.  About being a different man than the one who went into the ice.  I'm scared that this isn't what he-"

With a crash, the front door shattered into pieces, Steve standing on the other side.

"Oh, yeah, right.  I was supposed to call when I got here."

"You're goddamn right you were!"  Steve ran to your side, grabbing you and pulling you into a tight hug. "Are you ok?  Tony said there was shooting-"

"I'm fine, Steve.  Steve, let me go."  Pushing him away, you stepped back to face both men.  "Do you both even have the slightest idea of the hell I'm going thru right now?  Do you both realize that you're the problem?  Why would you come here when I explicitly told you not to?"

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.  "Don't give me that crap about a shooting.  I'm a fucking Avenger, Tony.  I can handle myself." 

Steve was confused.  "Then what was going on-"

"I was shooting your flowers!  It was cathartic!  I put little...Steve and Tony faces on them..." You began to laugh until tears rolled down your face.  "You guys, I love you so much, but I just can't take one more thing."  The tension in the room lessened, as postures relaxed and each man laughed quietly. 

The calm was short-lived.  "Something doesn't feel right."

Part 10

"Steve, my heart is beating out of my chest."  He grabbed your arm and helped you to lie on the couch. "It's getting harder to breathe. I need to sit up."  Closing your eyes, you tried to relax but it wasn't helping at all.  The more you tried to relax, the more anxious you became. 

Tony was already on the phone with 911.  'If you don't have an ambulance here within 5 minutes, I'm flying her in myself, you got me?" 

"Baby, just try to focus on your breathing, ok.  Slow down.  In...Out...In...Out..." Steve was trying to control his own breathing as much as yours. You had a tight grip on your husband's hand, his fingers turning white from your strength.  The sounds of sirens were coming up the drive as Tony ran to the door to let them in.   

"(Y/N)?  (Y/N)?" Your heart was racing too fast and your breathing too rapid and shallow.  To save itself, your body finally just let you rest, and you fainted as Steve watched helplessly.  He picked you up, running to meet the ambulance before they even had the chance to get their doors open.

~~~

"This is all your fault, Rogers."

"You don't even know what's going on, Stark, so don't act like you're all high and mighty here."

"I had things under control until you showed up-"

"Excuse me, but you two are going to be asked to leave if you don't lower your voices immediately."

"Sorry."

"Yes, ma'am, sorry."

You were slowly starting to wake, but hearing them argue was just more reason for you to go back to sleep.  Let some one else deal with them for a change.

"She needs to come back to the tower where I can take care of her."

"Oh, you mean like you've been taking care of her so far?  Yeah, you've done a bang-up job with that.  She can stay at the house, I'll hire help."

"Tony, she's my wife-"

"Well, you sure as hell haven't been acting like it!"

"Gentlemen. Out."

~~~

A few minutes later your nurse walked into your room, smiling and carrying several medications in her hand for you.  "Good morning, (Y/N)!  I must say, you look much better today than when you came in last night."

"Thanks.  I do feel better, but I'm just so tired."  Sitting up slightly, your head began to spin a bit and your face grew pale.  You quickly laid back against the pillow.

"Woah, slow down, honey."  The nurse moved to your side, taking your heart rate.  "Yeah, still a bit fast.  I have medications here for you that should help."

You had closed your eyes, trying to get the dizziness to go away.  "So, what's the word..." you glanced at her name badge "...Elizabeth?  I haven't been awake to talk to a doctor yet.  I assume my husband and brother have been updated?"

She let out a hearty laugh at that.  "Oh, you mean the wonder twins out there?  Those boys are nothing but trouble.  I had to kick them out of here last night!"

"Oh, I heard.  I wasn't about to open my eyes in front of them.  I don't have it in me, and I didn't bring my guns."  Elizabeth's eyes opened wide at that, momentarily forgetting who she was talking to.  "So, what happened to me last night?"

She opened up your chart, reviewing the information before turning to you to speak.  "We've done scans of your brain, your heart, your lungs, and your belly, along with an ultrasound of the baby.  So far everything has been totally normal."  She was quiet again for a moment, reading further.  "It looks like a pretty severe panic attack.  Do you or does anyone in your family have problems with anxiety?"

After two days, they finally let you go home.

~~~

With a long flight and long drive from the airport, Tony's car finally pulled up in front of the tower.  Two guards took your luggage as Steve carried you in and up to your shared room.   You rested your head on his shoulder as he walked, still tired and now medicated to keep you calm.

"Hey, doll.  Should I help you change into something that's more comfortable for bed?"  You slowly nodded your head, your eyelids growing heavy.  After helping you into your pajamas, he exited to the bathroom to clean up and then to join you as you slept.

Steve had been remarkably attentive to you since the incident in Malibu, completely terrified that you would have another attack without him there to help you.  He had barely left your side for more than a moment or two, and when we was away he made sure that Tony would be there in his place.

But you still hadn't found a chance to talk.  The sedatives were now making your brain a little groggy, but despite the fatigue, you needed to try.  "Steve?  Are we able to talk for a bit?"  He moved to lay down next to you, pulling you closer to him so your head rested on his chest. He smelled like his favorite soap and his skin was still warm from his shower.  Staying awake now would be even more difficult.

"Steve, I need you to be honest with me.  I need you to tell me what has been going on between us.  I have to know before I can continue to move forward."  You let out a long yawn and curled up tighter into his chest, your arm draped over him.

He lifted a hand to his face, rubbing his cheek and chin. With a small groan he began to try to explain.  "Babe, I'm scared.  I'm absolutely terrified.  I grew up with more illnesses than I could count on both hands.  I was underweight, I was shorter than everyone my age all thru childhood and even as an adult.  I was bullied, I was beaten, I was told I couldn't do so many things because of my conditions."  You moved with his chest as he took a deep breath in and out.  "I can't get these thoughts out of my head.  What if I've put this on our baby?  I have no way to know if the serum altered my genes at all to protect him...or her.  When we were talking about starting a family, it was just talk and I thought we had more time for me to figure this out.  But suddenly we were in the middle of it, and I guess I got lost in my fears."

His hand was now gently moving up and down your arm as he spoke. He leaned down and kissed the top of your head and brushed the hair from your face.  "I didn't realize how bad I had gotten until that night in the gym. I never want to lose my temper like that in front of you, and shouldn't have that night.  It took seeing you holding a gun to me to see what I had done to you.  When you left, I panicked." 

He tucked his arm under you and pulled you even closer to him, so there was no room left at all between you.  You were quietly crying to yourself as he spoke, and tears were now on his chest.  "Hey, are you okay?"

"Mmm hmm." you gave him a small nod.  "Go ahead, I'm ok."

"Sweetheart, I was never more scared of anything than when I was carrying you to that ambulance.  Not the war, not HYDRA, not even putting that plane in the water.  I can't imagine..." he put a hand over his eyes and paused.  "I need you...I need both of you...to be ok."

He leaned over to turn off the light, feeling your body relax as you began to give in to sleep.

"I guess I'm still the same guy after all."

Part 11

Over the course of the next 5 months, Steve had morphed back into the man you fell in love with, the man you agreed to spend your life with, the man whose hands shook with yours when you looked down at the pink plus sign on that poorly-timed test.  It's not to say that he didn't have his moments of doubt that still appeared, usually when he was stressed or upset, but those moments were much less common, and never once directed at you.  It worried you though, that he so quickly put his fears and concerns aside for you, and you could only hope that an explosion wasn't imminent.

When you received the message from Tony that Natasha had been injured on their most recent mission, you could feel that today would be that day.  You met your team as the jet landed, wanting to check on your friend and see how Steve was handling it.  He always took personal responsibility when anything didn't go according to his plan, even if it were completely out of his control. 

As Steve exited, he walked past you, briefly touching your arm gently but not saying anything.  His emotions pulsed into you at the connection; an intense sense of anger and embarrassment filled your mind.  You knew he would go to the gym to release these, so you didn't follow just yet, wanting to give him privacy.  Thor was holding Natasha's arm as she slowly exited, a grimace crossing her face with each step. 

"My lady (Y/N), would you be so kind as to help her to the infirmary? I feel that I should go to check on the Captain." 

You paused, reaching out for Natasha, then slowly pulled your arm back apprehensively.  You fought the urge to go to Steve now, and eventually agreed to take her.  As you helped her down the ramp, you turned to the Asgardian, hoping to change his mind.  "Hey, Thor?  Maybe now isn't the right time to talk to Steve.  I think we need to give him some time."  Tapping your finger to your temple, Thor understood  your signal and instead moved to the elevator and towards his room.  "You know best, (Y/N).  However, should he be unable to control himself, or if you feel that you need assistance, you will call me."

Steve had never made any aggressive motion towards you like he had that night in the gym, so many months ago, but Thor was always at the ready to take Steve down should the need arise.  You were beginning to believe that the god was hoping for the opportunity to do so, more than just to ensure your safety.

Natasha put her hand over yours as you slowly walked across the tower, her fingers tightening just a bit as the distance went on and her pain worsened.  "Hey, you need to let Cap know that this wasn't his fault.  I messed up, okay?  This is on me."

"Okay, I'll try."  You sighed and looked towards the gym, still feeling the powerful emotions emanating from your husband.  Maybe it would be best if you intervened after all.  Hating himself for something that wasn't his fault would do him no good, and this cycle had to stop.  Resolving to go to him, you focused on your friend, entering the infirmary and quickly helping her onto a nearby gurney.

"Alright, you big klutz, let's get you bandaged up."

~~~

His punches were sloppy, frantic, and angry.  His back was tense, his muscles clearly outlined by his tight t-shirt, sweat now saturating it as he assaulted the heavy bag.  It was swinging erratically in front of him, his arms and legs anticipating its swing and connecting forcefully.  This went on and on without any rest; his focus was in his mind, and his hands were bloodied from forgetting to wrap them.  He didn't see you watching him from the doorway until you gasped and jumped as he hit the bag with all of his force, sending it flying across the gym with its contents spilling on the floor. 

"Hey, doll.  How long have you been standing there?"  Though his words were calm, the tone of his voice was heated.  Panting and wiping the sweat from his brow, he hung a new bag, preparing to go again. 

"Long enough."  You replied, and slowly walked down the steps towards him.  He stood motionless, watching you approach.  He looked down at his hands, almost disappointed that they would falter and bleed.  You stood face to face to regard each other for a moment.  Finally, you reached your hand out to him, open for him to take.

"Come with me."

His expression changed to that of confusion, but you could still sense his anger.  "Where?"

"Just come with me, Steve."

He reluctantly took your hand and followed.  Even as your skin connected, you felt no change in him, and now you were truly worried that this was more than you were ready for. But you had a plan.

~~~

You led Steve to your room, releasing him as the door closed behind you.  "Lay by me." You lowered yourself down to the side of the bed, the size of your belly making it a bit difficult to swing yourself in. He watched you, standing motionless as you found your comfort.  "Steve. Please, come here." 

The mattress sunk deeply as he moved next to you, bending with his weight.  He still looked confused, but positioned himself at your side, awaiting your instructions.  "Let me have your hand.  Close your eyes."  Taking his rough and beaten hand, you gently laid it to your abdomen and waited for the inevitable kick.  Several silent minutes passed before he finally spoke. 

"(Y/N), I just-"

Good baby, right on time. Steve's head snapped up to look at you as he braced himself up on his elbow.  A grin now, finally, crossed his face as his excitement began to show. "That was amazing!  I've never been able to feel that before!"  He put his head close to your belly now, speaking quietly, "Oh, baby, do it again..."

This kid knows what daddy needs.  Another kick against his hand, and then another.

You could feel your mind calming, the anger now gone from Steve and becoming a distant memory for you both.  Closing your eyes, you cherished this moment.  He was now resting his head against you, listening to your baby move, hearing your heartbeat against him.  Slowly you began to move your fingers thru his blonde hair, hearing him softly humming at the sensation. 

"Thank you."

"Steve, are you okay?"  His body shook slightly as he took a deep breath, though not responding. "Things have been wonderful over these past few months, but please, be honest with me.  I can handle it."

He was gently tapping his fingers against your tight skin, hoping for a few more kicks from the little one.  "I'm okay, yeah.  Today was just a bad day, but right now I can barely remember anything other than this. Everything will be perfect once this kiddo makes their entrance...or exit?"

With a chuckle, you put your other hand over his.  Sleep came very easy to you both that night, as Steve was lulled by the sounds of your future.

~~~

"Steve?"

"Hmmm?"

"Steve, wake up."

"Hmmm?  W-what?"

"Steve, it's time."

Immediately fully awake, bursting up from your bed, his face was panicked and his emotions were so jumbled that you couldn't even identify them.  You closed your mind to him, knowing it would drain you of the energy you were now about to desperately need.  "Steve, calm down.  We have time."  Just then, a sharp pain grabbed you, taking your breath away.  Holding yourself up against the wall, you worked on controlling your breathing as Steve stood at your side, clearly nervous.  "Ok, so I may have overestimated."

"FRIDAY, get everyone up, we're going!" 

Another wave hit.  "Oh, yeah, these are closer together than I thought.  Oh, ow, ow, ow, dammit." 

As you relaxed, coming out of the contraction, he swung his arms beneath you to carry you to the car that FRIDAY had pulled to the front door.  Tony met you there first, pulling on his shirt and carrying his shoes, barely awake. "If you get anything gross on those seats, kiddo, you're buying me a new one.  I don't care if we're family."  He took your hand as you adjusted yourself in the seat, finding comfort impossible. 

"Oh, damn, (Y/N), you're crushing me!  Holy shit, you're strong!  Ow, those must be pretty bad, huh?"  The force of your squeeze on his hand had taken him to his knees next to you. As your pain waned he pulled his hand back, shaking it and inspecting it for damage.  "Wow, Cap, good luck with this one."

~~~

The team had been waiting for news for almost twelve hours now, and all were getting restless.  Tony and Bucky were worst of all, having disassembled and reassembled Bucky's metal hand, realizing they now had a spare part with no idea where it came from.  They were about to start over when Steve finally appeared thru the labor ward doors, looking exhausted but awed.

"You guys...it's a girl."  He rubbed his hand over his face, a crooked smile growing.   "Can you believe it?"  Letting out a long sigh, he shook his head, "cuz I sure can't believe it. (Y/N) is getting cleaned up and settled in her room.  Do you guys want to see Sarah?"

Natasha put a hand over her mouth, not surprised at the choice of name.  In the past few months she had spent hours in conversations with the both of you about it. "Of course we do, you idiot!  Why else would we spend twelve hours drinking bad coffee and watching lame infomercials?  Banner almost bought some 'Wacky Lab Science Kit' thing just to prove it's not actually safe for kids."

As the team approached the nursery window, Sarah's nurse turned and gasped in awe of the superheroes lined up to see the tiny baby. She bundled her up and carried her closer so that they could see her, standing in front of Tony on the other side of the thin glass.  "Wow. She's so small.  (Y/N) got so big, I figured the kid would come out built like you."  Tony squinted at the ID bracelet hanging loosely on her tiny leg, swaying as Sarah kicked the blanket away.  "Hey, Cap? Is her middle name...Maria?"  He turned to look at Steve, standing on the opposite side of the group. 

"That was (Y/N)'s idea.  Sarah was my mom's name, but (Y/N) never really had one growing up.  She hoped you would be ok if we used yours. She wanted to signify her relationship with you, but there's no way in hell that I'm naming my daughter Tony." Steve stepped behind your brother now, slapping a hand down on his shoulder.

With a small sniffle, Tony nodded his head and gently tapped the glass to get the baby to look at him.  Sarah had his full attention, and would continue to have her Uncle Tony wrapped around her finger for many years to come.

"So, Spangles, when can I build this kid her first suit? I've got some ideas..."