जो भी है सब मेरा 

तेरे हवाले कर दिया 

जिस्म का हर रुवां 

तेरे हवाले कर दिया

Author's POV

One night! One night was all it took for Shivangi's life to turn into a whirlwind of spiraling emotions she had no control over. The situation had led her to a situation where she had been staring aimlessly at the blank screen before her. The entire office was empty as it was just 7:30 and the office started at 9. She couldn't help but ponder over her decision. She felt miserable all of a sudden. She had never felt such a dilemma before, but today she felt as if someone was hammering a nail into her heart and drawing out whatever strength she had.

The constant texts from her mother had started to annoy her now. She ignored everything as she closed her eyes and sighed painfully. The things she was proud of suddenly seemed to slip away like she didn't deserve them. In years of normalcy, she suddenly realized that she had started to look at herself through Rudra's eyes. A simple human being who is blessed with everything others have. Today she felt as if she had awoken to a nightmare from her blissful dreams. She wasn't afraid of the change because she knew wherever she landed after this life would blow up whatever she had struggled to achieve in the past 5 years. She picked up the printed sheet of paper resting on the wooden desk and ignoring every inch of her soul begging her to not destroy her life, she enveloped the sheet before scribbling 'Resignation Letter' on it. Slipping it inside the drawer she stood up.

Bringing her messages section to life, she answered her mother's question, "Are you ready to meet the guy tonight for dinner?" with a polite yes. Destiny had a wicked way of making you bring back to your reality.

She went ahead to Rudra's cabin and started her day. She ensured that everything was perfect before he entered. His gaze went toward the pale brown color she was wearing for the day making him clench his fists. She typically wore this color when she felt as if she was losing control. A memory from a past competition she was so close to losing but won cocooned her through this dress. He had somehow come to hate it considering the feeling of being a failure did nothing but wreck her.

"Isn't today the day for tulips?" he asked, despite knowing that today the flower vase was filled with flowers from the bouquet a client gave him, which was nothing but a formality on her part to make him less suspicious about her mood. As if! He knew her inside out. His frustration was growing with every passing minute as she seemed to be lacking her element.

"The flower shop only had this today," the text-to-speech technique did its job, making Rudra snap.

"Talk. To. Me. Understood?" he asked coldly. Shivangi nodded and said the same words in her sign language. He felt calmer at her move, though he had this blinding urge to know why she was feeling so distraught over a rumor. Didn't his girl know him better than the world? Every day the news spluttered some new nonsense about his private life but she of all people must know his eyes never moved away from her to look at others. His velvet didn't know his love does not mean she never felt it. Today, seeing her behaving like this, he couldn't help but feel annoyed that she didn't even look into his eyes to ask the questions blinking in her head. He felt like in the past five years, he had failed to even form a bond of understanding between them. He belonged to her and this little episode wasn't going to change that. He made himself understand that it wasn't her fault for not realizing his love for her, though he could read her love through her eyes. Today he had spotted tears in her eyes as he put the Tilak on her forehead, and that was the moment he lost it. She always embraced troubles with a smile and if something made her cry, then it must have crushed her. This realization destroyed him. He didn't say a word to her as they carried on with a suddenly preponed meeting with international clients.

In the lunch break today she hadn't brought food from home and brought him his favorite cuisine from the canteen instead. She was leaving, so she wanted him to leave the habit of her food as well. The thing that wasn't possible in eternity was what she was trying to achieve in a day.

Seeing the food in front of him, he asked, "Did you have your lunch?"

She signed a yes lying with a straight face. She was in no mood to eat. He looked at her blankly before standing up and sauntering towards her slowly. He passed by her as he rounded over the table and pulled a chair for her in front of his seat. She looked at him, confused, while he stood there drumming his fingers on the leather of the furniture piece. He indicated through his brows, instructing her to sit. She followed his lead while he lazily opened the buttons of his coat before throwing it on the nearby couch. Her eyes widened, knowing what he was about to do next. Seeing her reaction, he smirked at her teasingly.

Rolling up the sleeves of her fitting white shirt, he sat beside her. She couldn't help but swoon over his flexing muscles as they peeked through her senses. She admired everything about him wordlessly. He enjoyed her gaze as he uncovered the food she brought, making his desires peak through his frozen heart. He wanted to look at her, entranced-by-his-glory-eyes, to passionately take her into his embrace. Ignoring his jumping heart he tore a piece of chapati and dunked it into the delicious Dal Makhani. He slowly blew over the bite before keeping it in front of her mouth. She simply kept looking at him as she opened her mouth to eat whatever he was offering. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling at his innocent vixen. All she needed to lure her were his eyes, his warmth, and his care.

As he finished feeding her, he got up and wiped her lips. She came to her senses as she tensed due to their proximity. Her eyes dropped to his empty plate, making her pout. She had finished his food. What the hell was wrong with her? He had to stop being so tempting and showing her his muscles. ALSO HE HAD TO STOP TREATING HER LIKE A BABY!

Rudra chose to keep his eyes fixed on hers, not letting them wander over her lips because only he knew how he was controlling himself from kissing her pout. It was sheer torture that left him scorching in the pool of intense yearning. He has sworn to himself that he would never disgrace her in any manner. In the past 5 years, he had loved her with his being, but never touched her through any unholy means. He didn't even kiss her forehead though he considered her as his crown. He was patiently waiting to attach her name to his identity to fulfill every desire of his heart. He won't have an affair with her, he would have a serene espousal with her. He won't be her possessor, he would be her keeper. The entire state would bow before her the day he rightfully held her hand, and she deserved nothing less. He would always respect her will to preserve herself for the man she gives her heart to. He wanted to be that man.

She glared at him as she stood up and said in her sign language, "I am not your baby"

"Banana toh mei mere babies ki mother chahta hu par harkatein inki kisi baby se kam nahi hai (Although I wanna make her the mother of my babies but she herself behaves like a baby)" he muttered to himself.

"Stop treating me like a toddler," she said further while he rolled his eyes at her and said, "Then meine liebe stop lying to me. Now go make me a vegetable sandwich in the pantry attached to my room in the office. From tomorrow, don't forget to bring your lunch" Our Lunch he meant. German was the only language she didn't know so he called her 'My love' in German while she was too angry at him to notice. 

She huffed as she walked to do as instructed. She turned to see him attentively working at the laptop and made two horns over her head with her fingers as she mouthed, "The other thor has a hammer; mine has the devil's horns"

As she went away, he looked up and said, "I'd be whatever you want me to be until it allows me to care for you"

A tear flew out of her eye as she stood rooted to the door of the room inside his office. His verbal declaration of his feelings pulled the strings of her heart. She didn't know if he knew she heard him but she would cherish those words for more than a lifetime. She wished she belonged with him. She had never asked anything from god to date because she had him. Now she only wanted to run home, curl in her blanket, and cry like never before.

An hour later, a woman dressed in a provocative, dazzling red saree walked inside the premises of the Suryavnshi group with an attitude. Her off-shoulder blouse was beautifully covered with her embroidered drape. She was bejeweled by a classy diamond necklace that looked down upon every female creature that passed by. She lowered her aviators revealing her sparkling blue eyes as she looked at Shivangi haughtily, ordering her to let her meet Rudra. Ask why? Because she was his to-be wife. Mahira Jamwal.

"Ma'am, while I understand your urge to see Sir you'd have to wait until he finishes the call with the international clients" Only Shivangi knew how she was controlling her emotions seeing Mahira assert her rights over Rudra. Instead of denying her on impulse, she reacted like a professional who knew her boundaries. She held no authority over Rudra and hence she tolerated every damn whim of Mahira. She was explaining things calmly to her for the fifth time in the last few minutes.

"No, you don't! Your relationship with him is an office gossip unlike mine so darling don't mess with me and let me in," Mahira ordered. Shivangi rummaged through her drawers before finding her job contract and thrusting it into Mahira's hands. The device announced, "With all due respect, DARLING, I am his assistant by legal validity. You may cross-check it with the HR department. I am sorry to be unaware of the office gossip because my business is limited to Rudra Sir. Kindly wait in the waiting area"

She smiled sweetly at the lady showing her the land she was unable to see while flying in Rudra's fiance's land.

"Everyone was right about you being Rudra's fling. That explains the attitude. Why do you low-class people always forget your place? If he smiles at you, flirts with you or even sleeps with you does not make you his wife. He is my husband, you bitch. Get that into your head before you fall flat on your face. From next time, remember no one stops me from seeing my man. I am his queen. I won't take attitude from a dumb pauper. Got it?" Mahira said while shoving her shades to their right position and walking towards Rudra's cabin. The other employees looked at Shivangi with pity, amusement, and sympathy. Humiliation seeped through her skin but instead of crying over it, she struck her foot out, making Mahira fall flat on her face. Her jaw touched the cold floor, making her cry in pain. This act of hers was on pure impulse. Although she had been sneaky enough to make it look like Mahira fell by tripping over her saree.

Fiancé or not, Shivangi wasn't going to let any damn one walk over her. Her words hurt her? Yes. Was she going to cry about them later? Yes. Was she going to let Mahira know? Not in seven hells. She went ahead with fake worry and held out her hand for the other woman as her iPad announced, "Oh ma'am, how did you fall flat on your face? Queens walk with grace but don't worry, you look gorgeous even in this position. You are adding charm to the floor of the Suryavanshi office. Let me help you"

Everyone standing around chuckled at her words. Shivangi looked at the girl, who snickered at her insult and called out through her device, "Ms. Rajni, Can't you see someone is in pain over here? Come help me pick her up"

Following Shivangi's orders, the girl quickly helped Mahira to her feet. Shivangi politely nodded at Mahira before turning to her intercom to ask Rudra if his call was over with the clients. As Rudra texted her to send whoever was outside to his cabin, she transferred the same information to a furious Mahira glaring at her. As Mahira walked towards Rudra's cabin, she heard Shivangi's commands, "Kaka, please sweep this entire corridor and sanitize the floor. Rudra Sir doesn't like dirt"

Feeling insulted, Mahira stomped her foot childishly and stormed inside the cabin to complain about her behavior to Rudra. She was going to make sure Shivangi was fired right away for blatantly insulting her. Shivangi knew what she would try to do but she was already resigning, wasn't she? What would a little more harm do? She knew the moment Rudra would insult her before his fiancé her heart would break but she was ready to pay the cost for her self-respect. The next second, Rudra called her into his cabin and looked at her furiously. Mahira smirked at her and she couldn't help but look down. His next words would hurt her and she was saving herself from that harm by not looking at him.

"Velvet, don't make me furious," he warned while she knew what he wanted. She looked at him with glazed eyes. He leaped out of his seat in seconds, seeing her anger pouring through her tears. No, she wasn't crying. Only he could see the little water gathering in her eyes. What was wrong with his velvet? Why the hell was she crying so much today? He asked himself.

He walked towards her and his gaze wandered up and down her body checking her thoroughly. He ordered her to turn while she twirled around in confusion. He looked at her tenderly as he asked, "Are you hurt? Did she try to harm you in any manner?"

She shook her head in a no, making him sigh in relief. He offered his handkerchief to her and mumbled, "Just hold one end of it until I tell you to leave"

He stood by her side holding the other end of it making it feel as if she was holding onto him instead. He turned to look at a gaping Mahira and said, "The rash on your skin looks ugly. We can reschedule this meeting when you feel better"

Mahira was burning due to the heat of his words. Didn't he directly use the word ugly for her? Nobody dared to call her that.

He would deal with her later. Not here. Not in front of his velvet. She was scared of loud voices.

"Rudra! I am your fiancé. Not her" Mahira fumed. Shivangi's hold tightened on the handkerchief.

"I appreciate your aspirations but I hate liars. When you are in a better condition to speak do apologize from my velvet. Till then you are dismissed" Rudra said bored at her drama.

"I'd tell the world that she is your slut" She threatened.

"Go ahead. Your slandered character as a consequence won't be my responsibility though. I haven't been involved with a woman in 28 years of my existence. I have 150 employees working on this floor and a record room full of recordings that would prove that I have never touched my velvet inappropriately even once. If you are declared insane before the world I would be the first one to testify their claim. Have a great day ahead!" Rudra said as walked towards the door to let her empty his space that she had invaded. As she left, Shivangi looked at him in shock. He let her hold the handkerchief and walked away to sit in his seat. Shivangi's heart whispered, Told you, your man is only yours. That woman was a rumor. You are the truth.

Shut up! Shivangi berated her stupid heart.

"Next time when someone calls you a slut either fucking sit on my lap openly or kick her so hard that she forgets she has a tongue. You are on half-day leave right? I saw the mail. You may leave" he ordered while she couldn't digest what he had just said. Even his crazy in anger form was irresistible for her. But was it really Rudra Pratap Suryavanshi who had said those words? She couldn't really believe her ears. She walked out of the cabin silently while her mother's 50 messages brought her out of her trance. God! If she kept thinking about him like this, she would never be able to take the step she was about to take. She would be forever tempted to run back into his arms and never look at anyone else. She was crazy and there was no cure to this madness except him. He was her only cure.

Amidst the glowing lights, sleekly kept utensils and chattering people Shivangi uncomfortably had her food in a five-star restaurant. Her prospective groom, Daksh Aggarwal sat there smirking at her form lustfully. She was eating the appetizers of his choice as he refused to let her make her own choices. What could she expect from a man who was taking away her biggest decision in life? He softly held her hand making her look up at him.

"You are so quiet, so serene. You would always be the peace of my life" he said, making her feel as if he was pouring acid down her throat. From peace, he meant that she would never counter his arguments. She would be a mute showpiece that follows his commands. 

"You know I fell in love with you at first sight. Your shortcomings, your disability, or what this world says doesn't matter to me. Only you do. I just want one thing in exchange for my tremendous amount of love for you. You would never do a job again" he demanded, making her frown. She had given in on his demand to move to Delhi with him just because he convinced her parents that he would let her work there.

She typed on her phone and texted him, but you said you would let me work in Delhi. He smirked and said, "Baby, work means handling my family. I'd earn enough for both of us. You don't need to get through the trouble. Anyway in Delhi nobody hires mute dolls"

She couldn't handle this anymore. She wasn't going to marry this cheap. He talked about Delhi as if it were superior to her state. Not because of growth but because he lived there. She loved her Rajasthan and he belittled her love for her home. He called her mute over and over again to show her that he was doing a favor on her by marrying her. He chose the time, the venue, and even the food for their date, and none of it was what she liked. She bore everything quietly but she won't bear his meaningless demand with a smile. Her job made her feel independent and she won't give up on it. She had worked hard for it. 

Yesterday right after the shock of knowing about Rudra getting married, her mother had dropped another bomb on her. A marriage alliance had come for her. Her mother explained that if she didn't get married then Naira and Natasha would face difficulty in getting married. The world was still in its primitive thinking stage as not many alliances came for her. When Daksh showed interest in marrying her everyone at her house got excited. He was a chameleon who had managed to impress them and they wanted her to marry and move to Delhi with him. Naira's boyfriend was from a rich background and was waiting for Shivangi to marry for a year so that he could marry her little sister whose responsibility lay with Shivangi's parents. Yesterday he had told Naira about an alliance from abroad for him that had scared her. Seeing her cry and beg her to get married sooner she couldn't help but agree. She was going to throw away the life she built for her family. She knew no family would ever accept her completely and she had no plans of marrying ever but seeing her parents so helpless she agreed to meet Daksh and resign from her job. Also, the news of Rudra's marriage was weighing down on her. She won't stay in the company to see her love getting married to a royal princess and settle down. She was no match for him. Life was to be lived practically and Rudra Pratap Suryavanshi deserved a true queen. Not someone like Shivangi Mittal who was the worst misfit for being anyone's wife. She could never truly be someone's better half because she wouldn't be able to communicate with him. In real life, people don't read your eyes. Except him. A voice in her heart replied. She had to forget him and embrace her destiny. Any man she married would always consider her inferior to him because she lacked what other women had. Voice.

She quickly got up to leave the spineless man when he held her wrist harshly to pull her down to her seat. He kept twisting her hand while she tried hard to make his merciless fingers leave her wrist.

"Don't create a scene, Shivangi. Instead of being grateful that I am accepting you as my wife you are showing your useless attitude," he said while she was nearly in tears due to the harsh grip. She had never been this helpless before. He was an influential man in their circle who knew Naira's boyfriend as well. It was either her life or her sister's to be destroyed and she chose hers. This is why she didn't deny the dinner date with him but now it was all tormenting her.

"Leave her hand" A stern voice ordered from behind as Shivangi and Daksh turned to face Rudra Pratap Suryavanshi standing in front of them in all his glory. His gaze was fixed on Daksh's filthy hand, touching his woman as his jaw twitched. He looked as if he would burst in anger.

"Leave her hand if you want to keep yours. Don't make me cripple you for life," Rudra threatened, making him leave her in an instant. Seeing a red mark from on her sensitive skin Rudra clenched his fists, wanting to turn the restaurant upside down.

Shivering like a wet puppy in front of Rudra's ruthless stance, Daksh tried to scare Shivangi. He loudly yelled at her, "So this is the man your neighbor warned me about. He must be the same boss who keeps dropping you home. Have some shame, woman. This is why you were so reluctant to leave the job because you can't stick to one man all your life. You–"

Rudra marched towards him, and he stopped mid-sentence. Then gathering some guts, he said, "You are a useless dumb woman. No man would ever marry you. You know his kind of men can enjoy you but only someone like me can keep you. Girls like you who can't even speak use their fluttering eyes to lure men"

A loud slap rang in the room as Rudra unleashed his anger on Daksh.

"Tameez se! Unse baat kar Raha hai tu jinpe chodiye jinke saamne ham logo pe awaaz nahi uthate. Jab unki aankhein padhne ki aukaat na ho na toh nazrein jhuka liya Karo Varna yahi gaadh diye jaoge (Talk with respect! You are addressing the woman in whose presence I have never even talked to others loudly. If you are incapable of reading her eyes then better lower them in front of her or else I will dig your grave right here)" Rudra said as his fingers worked on choking Daksh's throat. Rudra increased the pressure, making Daksh cough and mewl in pain. Shivangi couldn't help but realize that he had actually never raised his voice on anyone in front of her, considering she flinched at every loud yell. How did she miss this? He had been cold and downright furious at people, but he never yelled in her presence. Even today he was so angry at Mahira and yet his voice never went a notch higher as he assured he would deal with her later in her absence. Gosh! Was this man for real?

Shivangi quickly held his hand to stop him from killing Daksh. Seeing him gripping his throat so hard, she was sure Daksh wouldn't see the next sunrise if she didn't meddle in between. He left him with a thud and softly interlinked their palms as he massaged her throbbing wrist. The table was in a quiet corner and not many people were around, but Rudra's message was clear; mess with my girl and you die.

"I am leaving you alive today but once again if you dared to touch my wife I'd fucking chop you to pieces, and this is a goddamn open threat," Rudra announced before dragging Shivangi out with him. He ushered her inside his car while she kept waiting for when he would scold her.

He simply opened the first aid box and applied the cream on her hurting skin. Seeing her in pain, his own eyes filled up with tears of fury, making him look out of the window to hide them. She tapped on his shoulder and asked in sign language, "Why are you not scolding me?"

"Because I am the one to be blamed for this fiasco. Only if I hadn't waited for you to confess your love, you wouldn't have been dumb enough to see other men. Now kindly shut up till we reach home" Rudra said looking straight at her showing how angry he was at himself. She didn't know what to say to him but she kept her hand over his and held onto it tenderly. He relaxed in an instant. She wanted to tell him she loved him but she wouldn't do it when his senses were clouded with cold fury.

"Why is everyone suddenly thinking that we are romantically involved?" Shivangi mumbled in exasperation. Rudra groaned, looking away. People were always the same, but unlike Mahira's blunt hatred, other women only taunted her subtly and she replied sweetly, making them understand she was even more clueless than them. Nobody could actually hate his woman, considering she smiled at them so warmly.

"Because my woman is too humble to think the same," Rudra answered, making her frown. They quietly drove after that with his free hand linked to hers.

He barged inside her house and stood before her parents. They looked at him fearfully as his red eyes shook their foundation. They knew what sin they had committed and there was no going back. Before they could explain themselves, he spoke, "Am I not breathing anymore? Am I dead in your eyes?"

Shivangi sobbed listening to that. She quickly kept her palm in front of his mouth, stopping him from using those words. He averted his eyes from her teary ones as he removed her hand. He couldn't even bear the thought of losing her. Now he knew why she was so emotional today and that didn't help his anger at all. She was crying over little things because she thought someone would take her far away from him. Because she couldn't imagine a life with anyone other than him. Because she had started missing him already. Because she was sure that someone would ruin her. He won't let it happen, even if the world turns upside down.

"No beta–" Shivangi's mom Tara was saying when he interrupted.

"Then how the hell did you send my betrothed to see other men? How the hell did you think of giving her hand to someone else when her husband is still very much alive? Shivangi Mittal has been Rudra Pratap Suryavanshi's honor for the last 24 years. If I have never claimed it does not mean I don't have rights over every fudging breath of my woman. Did you take my patience as my weakness?" Rudra asked, making Shivangi look at him in shock. Betrothed? 24 years? What the hell was happening? Why did her parents look as if they had been charged guilty by the highest degree of law? What were they hiding from her?

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Yeah! I know I wasn't again thinking straight when I wrote this. I can't really help my crooked brain. Today I truly lack the time to discuss with you people as I have a very important exam tomorrow. I hope you liked whatever my not-in-the-right-place head wrote. 

So....how was it?

The best part of the update?

The best dialogue?

A moment you can never forget?

What do you think will happen next? What is the secret they are hiding?

The sweetest part of this update?

The cutest part?

Liking it so far? 

Did I mess up in this update?

Rudra really does respect her a lot. Doesn't he?

Anyone who wishes he should have been more verbal about his love?

Rudra is angry... Shivangi is clueless...how are the readers *wink*

Something you wanna say about this crazy couple?

You know the drill to get the next update as soon as possible. 

I know I have an exam tomorrow but my eager self would check the phone in every 5-minute break I take in between to check your comments so kindly drop tons of them because they would motivate me to no extent. It would make me feel worth the precious time I have ignored my books glaring at me *sigh*.

Rate the update for me, please...

1. Old-style TV *Boring*

2. LCD TV *Enjoyed it*

3. LED TV *Loved it to the core*

Will be eagerly waiting for your response so keep the inline comments dropping by. You have no idea how happy they make me. Every time you share your views about certain dialogues consider the author grinning like a fool. So yeah your update ends here mine starts as soon as your feedback starts dropping by. Have a blessed day ahead! Gotta rush!

Random question: Rudra's Shivangi vs shivangi's Rudra

Or

What is your favorite holiday destination?

With love

Ms. Bhatia