Every second the loud, ear shattering music filled my ears was almost unbareable and the ever changing lights gave me a headache as I sat in a spot at a nightclub, far away from Joker's and stared at the empty shot glass in front of me. Only one of many.

My throat, my face, my heart. Everything hurt. Not because of the punches and hits we threw at each other but the heart wrenching pain of what was lost. My mind was replaying his words and looks at me over and over again, and there was nothing I could've done about it - besides trying to silence the laughing demons with some alcohol and hope they'll just leave me alone.

I've spent only about one hour at the club but I already lost track on time, date and year within minutes and my jaws were locked together in an attempt to hold the tears back that already tugged on my eyelids. Great would it be if I started tearing up in the middle of that messy club.

All I wanted was being left alone, away from anyone and anything - I needed time to comprehend what happened, and talking to people wouldn't help at all. Granted, a nightclub wasn't the best place for that, but it was loud and full of people that didn't give a damn about anything besides getting drunk.

"That's a lot of empty glasses for this time of the day."

A familiar voice next to me let me look up, my eyes were so soaked up with tears I barely recognized Frost, if it weren't for his voice. Although a familiar face was the least I expected and wanted at the moment, some part of me found the presence of someone or something that reminded me of Joker somewhat soothing and painful at the same time.

"It's ten p.m." I responded and rubbed my eyes, faking a yawn so he'd think I was tired and hopefully wouldn't notice my wet eyes. "Besides, what are you doing here? Thought Joker sent you and the guys to grab him some new weapons." Damn myself for actually remembering this. Because it also brought memories of the plans we've had for today back - even in my slightly drunken state.

"He did." Frost responded, his voice level just slightly above the ear blasting music that still made my headache get worse. If anyone would mind if I'd shoot the DJ?

My hands on my temples, I followed Frost with my eyes as he sat down across from me and I easily noticed his frown at the amount of empty glasses in front of me. But he kept quiet about it. Sometimes, I admired him for being much more level headed than the rest of Joker's other henchmen - no matter the situation, he never asked questions and got the job done. Maybe everything would've ended better if I kept my mouth shut about Batman's dumb comment.

"But there was a change of plans." My confused eyes looked at him as Frost removed his left hand from the table and pulled something out of his pocket before he handed it to me.

At first, the dark blue lights in the nightclub made it impossible for me to recognize the item but as they started to change colors over and over again, my heart stopped for a moment and a gasp escaped my mouth.

The tears immediately returned to my eyes as I stared down at the stuffed cat I gave Joker back at the asylum. It was my first gift for him, and I didn't know he actually kept it. Through all the fights and disagreements we've had. After all the years we've been apart. He never threw it away.

But now, he gave it back. He didn't want the cat that looked like it got ripped apart and stitched up again any longer. There was nothing that kept us together anymore and it seemed as if Joker wanted to make sure I got the message. And boy, did I understand it.

"Boss told me to gather your...stuff. And get it back to your house. But you weren't there so I--" Suddenly, Frost stopped talking and, to be honest, I didn't hear most of his words, anyway.

Heavy tears I couldn't hold back any longer dropped down my cheeks and onto the table, my vision became blurry immediately as the tears kept coming without any intention of mine to stop them.

Squeezing the stuffed cat tightly in my hands, a quiet whimper mixed with my sobbing made the heartache worse as reality hit me like a crashing plane. The only life I knew...no, the only life I wanted - it was over now. Thrown out the window like a piece of paper and only the painful memories left behind.

I did everything for this man. I destroyed myself over and over again only to rise from the ashes of the identity I've once had. It had no meaning to him. I killed for him, I saved him. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't have done for the only person that gave me a purpose and a reason to live for. And he took that purpose - himself - away from me. Without a second thought. I just...didn't mean anything to him. I was barely more important than the g in lasagna.

The sudden, unexpected feeling of an arm getting wrapped around me let me snap out if the dark hole that was starting to consume my soul - or whatever was left of it. Not taking my eyes off the damaged cat, I couldn't stop crying, not that I tried. Maybe the alcohol was the reason for me being so over emotional right now, but maybe it was just the normal way to deal with the shattered remains of something so special, something so unique.

"You'll be okay." Somehow, Frost's voice was the only sound I heard, even the loud music seemed to fade away as I just looked at the kitty in my hands and I rested my head on his left shoulder as the tears caused my eyes to burn. "Easy for you to say, Mister snowflake." Slightly tugging on the ears of the cat, I stopped noticing the warm tears streaming down my face and just continued to sob, not even attempting to hold my sadness back.

"Did you just assume my gender?"

Frost's unexpected response brought a sudden smile to my face and just for a second, I chuckled. Maybe having some company wasn't too bad, after all. At least I hoped it'd make the pain easier that numbed my body easier to deal with.

"Did you just make a joke?" I asked, wiping some of my tears away and wondering about my slightly raspy voice and sore throat. "Tell me another one." Something inside me needed a reason to laugh, it was the only possibility I saw to forget about everything for at least a moment.

Rubbing my arm, Frost took a deep breath, as if he had to think about what to say but eventually, he started to talk.

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. Bartender says 'for you, no charge'."

It was a simple joke. Short and easy to understand. But at this moment, it sounded like the greatest relief from my sorrows and I felt a soft chuckle turn tinto a quiet laugh. Joker always used to say how laughter and happiness are the only reaction and feeling that mattered in life. He did have a point there.

A small smile caused my lips to part and I ran my thumb over the cat's face, my mouth became dry because of the alcohol but just before I could reach for another half empty glass of alcohol on the table, Frost handed me a glass of water and I looked at him in slight confusion as I wondered where he got it from.

"You looked like you could need that more than the dude over there." Frost responded to my look and pointed at a slightly wasted man who had trouble walking straight and looked like he was wondering where the glass he held just moments before went.

I couldn't help but grin as I took the glass from him and sat up straight. "Aren't you just a savage?" My voice sounded slightly raspy and my lips felt dry so I quickly took a couple of sips, my eyes closed at the feeling of the cool liquid running down my throat and I sighed in relief, surprised about the now empty glass in my hands.

As usual, Frost didn't react to humor, but I could see in his eyes he kind of wanted to. I had to chuckle at this. He was way too focused on his job to break through this seriousness, except he had to when Joker's mood swings kicked in and someone had to tell him a joke to calm him down. But even then, he never really laughed or even smiled, maybe just a quick grin but nothing more.

"What are you gon' do now?" Frost suddenly asked and I gulped as his question totally caught me off guard. What was I going to do now, indeed? It might've sounded strange, but I didn't have any idea about my future now because I wasn't thinking about it, at all. Not the wisest choice.

The cat still in my hands, I shrugged and shook my head, trying not to sound too sad - although that shouldn't have been my biggest concern.

"Honestly, I don't know." My voice was a bit smoother now, but the thin air and weird smoke weren't quite a help. "I...haven't thought about it." A sigh escaped my mouth and I turned my head, pretty sure my blue and pink makeup was covering my cheeks by now, but that wasn't the reason I avoided any kind of eye contact with Frost. I didn't want anyone to see the oncoming tears that blurred my vision once again.

"Well..." His arm still around my shoulders - which I actually enjoyed, as it was the closest I'd come to something like a hug from anyone - Frost cleared his throat, most likely because talking louder, almost screaming, was getting on his voice, too.

"What do you wanna do?"

The answer to that question was obvious, and he probably already knew that, but wasn't completely sure about it. Knowing the dark lights wouldn't hide the tears in my eyes, I looked at him anyway, taking a deep breath as I felt a slight grin on my face.

"I'd like to work as a psychiatrist again. It's what I've always loved doing and now that my life...that Joker is gone...I think I'd still enjoy it."

Just as I finished the sentence, my head dropped again and my eyes met the stuffed cat. "But it doesn't matter. No one would let me work after everything I've done. Not Blackgate, not Arkham, not Belle Reve. The only way for me to get in there would be as an inmate."

I expected Frost to keep silent about my sentence, but I was surprised about the response he came up with and to be honest, i didn't expect anything like that coming from him at all.

"So what's keepin' you from tryin'?" He asked with his heavy southern accent coming through from all the yelling and looked at me with nothing but seriousness all over his face.

"Boss didn't want ya around at first but you kept tryin'. Ain't nobody thought it'll end like this but now you'll take time an' move on. And I'll tell you how this will start."

Pulling his arm back from me, Frost stood up and put some money on the table for the drinks I've had, then stepped aside, pointing at the exit across the room.

"You gon' move your ass up, I'll drive ya home and you'll sleep eight hours. You'll get up afterwards, take some aspirin to clear your wasted mind and after brushin' your teeth because you're most likely gonna vomit your insides out, you'll walk into Arkham and you gonna make them beg for you to take that job. We clear?"

For a moment, I just looked at him in confusion. And not because I was so down now that I had trouble speaking and keeping my eyes open. I just couldn't believe he was trying to help me - not many people have ever tried that.

"Yes, sir." That was everything I could manage to answer and slowly stood up, all my self control focused on not tripping over my own feet while I walked out of that horribly crowded, loud place and breathed in the cold, fresh air as I stepped outside in the snow, everything sounded so quiet suddenly I was going to fall asleep right away if the cold snowflakes hitting my face wouldn't have kept me from doing so.

"And one more thing."

Frost's stern eyes stared at me while we started walking up to the black van only a couple of steps away from the entrance of the club before I stopped, looking back at him in irritation but I wasn't going to interrupt him.

"After tonight, you'll forget about it. About everything. Just. Turn around, and walk away from the bad memories and all that shit that happened. Live your life without thinking about Batman, Mister J or any of these people. Be thankful for the fun and good times but keep a distance from all this lunacy going on. You'll get it enough when you work as a psychiatrist again."

My eyes looked down and I felt happy about Frost really helping me, but at the same time, I wasn't sure about the last part at all. So I just mumbled a silent "If I can work as a psychiatrist again."

His head shot around to me as Frost walked up to the driver's seat of the car, a serious look all over his face as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Did I fucking stutter?"

Giggling at his words, I shook my head and smiled at Frost as he waited for my response which I quickly gave, the wet remains if my tears starting to dry in the freezing wind. "No. Sorry."

Giving me a quick nod, Frost opened the door of the van looking at me one last time before he got into the driver's seat.

"Good. Now get in. Let's take you home."