It all started when the castle ship got Netflix. Well, the Altean equivalent of Netflix. Who guessed that such a small luxury would cost such a large price? And not the price of money, but the price of dignity.

Pidge looked at the screen of her tablet. "Ooh. Robo-wives 2! I loved the first one." And with that, she put it on.

It was kind of confusing at first. The actors weren't the same, and the lighting was bad, but other than that, it was fine. Until about three minutes in, when someone took off her shirt.

"Wait a second.... is this lesbian porn?" Pidge said. She got her answer a moment later, when the scene cut to some very explicit kissing and, er, caressing?

Pidge left the movie immediately. She didn't want to watch porn.

She put on something else, and promptly forgot about the porn.

Nothing else happened regarding this until a month later, when Allura called all the paladins together. It had been a long day of fighting Zarkon, so everyone assumed that the meeting would relate to that.

"Paladins," Allura said disappointedly, "Something has come to my attention. I was going through the castle ship's television history, and I found something disturbing. I won't judge, I won't be upset, I just want to know. Who bought lesbian porn? You are paladins. You can't go around watching erotica on shared devices. Who did this?"

Everyone looked around at everyone else. Pidge began to panic. She was about to speak up about her mistake, but she didn't get the chance.

"Lance," Shiro said, "We all know this was you. Part of being a paladin is owning up to your past. It's important to admit you bought this porn."

Lance looked very offended. "Excuse me? This wasn't me. I get my porn from my own private phone. And I don't get lesbian porn, because I don't want to sexualize lesbians."

"Well, who else would buy porn?" Allura asked. Everyone looked at Keith.

"What? Why would I buy porn? I don't even like women, why would I pay for porn staring only women?" Keith asked.

"To help inspire your mothman smut." Lance said.

"What?" Keith stood up angrily, "How do you know about that?"

"I didn't know for sure, but you just confirmed it."

"You little bitch-"

"Keith!" Shiro said. "Stop insulting Lance. Did you buy this?"

"No!" Keith objected. "I bet it was you, Allura! You brought it up so we wouldn't suspect you!"

"What? I would never- how dare you? Why would I even mention it if it was I? No one would even know about it if I hadn't brought it up."

"Hunk," Lance said, "You've been awfully quiet."

"What?" Hunk exclaimed, "The only porn I look at is food porn. And that's not even real porn. It's just people poking eggs so the yolk drips onto the asparagus, or a delicious donut oozing jelly."

"Yeah, like that's any better."

"It's a lot better! It doesn't degrade anyone, and it doesn't cost any money!" Hunk looked at Shiro. "I bet it was you. You're always talking about how stressed you are, and how you're the only adult here. Well, guess what's the most adult thing ever? Porn!"

Shiro looked super done. He sighed. "Hunk, first of all, taxes are more adult than porn. Second, I have my own bank account. Third, I am gay. I have a husband. He is a man named Adam. I honestly don't really care who this was. But come on, guys. What if Pidge had seen this? You could have ruined her innocence."

Pidge smiled in her chair, enjoying the chaos that surrounded her. "Yeah, guys. How could you?"

Pidge realized three things today.
1. No one would ever suspect her of anything.
2. Watching everyone fight each other was hilarious.
3. This was going to be fun.

The next incident happened about a week later. Except that this time, Pidge had caused the chaos on purpose.

Allura called the paladins together again.

"Paladins. I have disturbing news. Keith has fully embraced his Galra heritage." Allura said.

"I mean, I guess." Keith said, "I've been trying to use my instincts more, which is kinda Galra-ey. But I don't get how that's disturbing."

Allura sneered at him. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, you disgusting little man."

"Wow." Hunk said, "That's incredibly rude. What did Keith do that was so bad?"

Allura shook her head angrily. "As you all know, we have been training the mice to go to the bathroom in a 'cat' box, like you have on Earth. But recently, when Coran was cleaning the boxes, he found something very disturbing. Keith has pooped in the mice's litter box."

Keith looked shocked. "Say what now?"

"Don't pretend it wasn't you. Who else would poop in the litter box?"

"I don't know! Maybe one of the mice. It's for them, after all."

Allura shook her head. "This poop was enormous. Galra sized." She held up a picture of a large poop covered in cat litter.

"What the quiznack?" Hunk said, looking at Keith.

"It wasn't me! I swear. Shiro, please vouch for me." Keith said.

Shiro shook his head. "You're my brother, and I love you, Keith. But this is just plain appalling."

"Yeah." Lance said, "You need to set a better example for Pidge."

"She's not that much younger than us! She's, what, 14? And this wasn't me!"

Pidge just stood there with a look of pretend disgust on her face.

"Yeah, Keith." Pidge said, "Set a better example."

Pidge quietly crept into Lance's bathroom as he slept. In her hand was a bottle. She poured the contents into Lance's hair conditioner and crept back out.

The next morning, everyone was eating breakfast. Keith looked disgruntled from the day before, but other than that, everything was fine.

"Where's Lance?" Hunk asked.

Pidge shrugged. "I don't know."

Suddenly, Lance burst through the door, still in his pajamas. He was also wearing a winter hat. "Who did this?" He screamed.

"Did what? Lance, what's wrong?" Keith asked.

Lance pointed to Shiro and slowly removed his hat. Lance's hair was hot pink and sparkly. "You did this. You monster." Lance said.

"What?" Shiro said. "I... died your hair pink?"

"You know you did it."

"Why would I do that?"

"Don't play dumb with me, mister. I know you're jealous of my hair. My hair is the best here because now, yours has a poof of white. And you were jealous. So you replaced my conditioner with pink hair dye."

Shiro sighed. "Lance, I promise you-"

"Enough of your empty promises! I'm going to go fix my hair, but let me say this now: I won't forget this. I will have my revenge."

Lance stormed out of the room. Allura looked at Shiro disappointedly. "Shiro, you are the black Paladin. The leader of Voltron. You're above this."

"I'm not jealous of Lance's hair. And I certainly would never replace his shampoo his hair dye."

"We all know you did it. And now, even worse, you're lying about it. For shame, Shiro. For shame."

Lance stayed in his room for the rest of the day. The faint sound of sobbing could be heard from outside his door. The next day, his hair was back to normal, but he had dark bags under his eyes.

"Are you okay, Lance?" Shiro asked.

Lance glared at him. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"I'm sorry someone replaced your shampoo with hair dye, Lance."

"It was quiznacking conditioner!" Lance shrieked.

"Woah. Sorry, conditioner, then."

"Hmph." Lance grumbled.

The next catastrophe happened in the middle of the night. Pidge had been planning this one for a while.

"Paladins! Zarkon is attacking! We need Voltron, now!" Allura's voice played loudly all around the castle. The Paladins raced to their lions and flew out into space.

"Where's Zarkon?" Keith asked.

"Yeah," Lance said, "I don't see any Galra."

Hunk yawned. "Let's go back inside. Allura must've lied or something."

When the paladins got back inside, they saw Allura standing there confusedly.
"What's going on?" She asked.

Keith rolled his eyes. "You woke us up at one am for no reason. Over the intercom thing? Don't you remember? It happened ten minutes ago."

"I need my sleep, Allura!" Lance said. "You don't get skin this good without sleep. The more sleep you get, the better your skin. It's science."

"Hmm." Keith responded. "You need to get more sleep."

Lance gasped. "I am offended! I have amazing skin. You wish you were as hot as me!"

"We're getting off topic." Shiro said, "Allura, why did you wake us all up? I was having a really good dream, which is pretty rare for me, what with the PTSD and all."

"What?" Allura asked, still confused. "I didn't say anything on the intercom. I only wake you all up for Zarkon or for training."

"Sure," Pidge said, pretending that she wasn't the perpetrator, "So someone took the time to record your voice, get up in the middle of the night, and wake everyone up, just to frame you? Gimme a break, Allura."

Hunk yawned again. "I don't care. I'm going back to bed."

The others glared at Allura for a moment, then all went back to their rooms to sleep.

The next day was a bit uncomfortable. There was much tension in the air. Another thing that was in the air were the bayards.

"Welp. I guess Lance was serious when he said he'd get his revenge." Pidge said the next morning, staring at the frozen bayards suspended from the ceiling, acting as if she hadn't put them there.

"But I don't get why he'd freeze all of them." Keith said. "Shiro's the only one who wronged him."

"I'm telling you," Shiro said, "It wasn't me. I'm a leader. I set a good example as often as I can."

Lance walked in. "What's up, guys?"

"You froze our bayards, that's what!" Keith shouted.

Lance looked confused. "No? I didn't."

Pidge gestured to the bayards. "Oh, yeah. They just put themselves up there?"

Lance looked up at the bayards. "Huh. Go figure."

"Don't act surprised!" Keith said angrily.

"Lance, what if Zarkon had attacked?" Allura asked. "This prank went too far. Take these down at once." She walked out of the room.

Lance looked up at the bayards and then to the other paladins. "How am I supposed to get these down?"

"I'll help you." Hunk said. A few minutes and several curse words later, the bayards were back with their paladins.

The next day, everything was going normally. Pidge hadn't planned any pranks for today, and the paladins were all training. Everyone, that is, except Hunk. Pidge wasn't sure where Hunk was.

Pidge sat with everyone in the castle's living room. Keith and Shiro were discussing all the weird things that had been happening. Lance was irritating Allura with his Earth pick up lines, and Coran was combing his mustache.

"Where's Hunk?" Pidge asked, genuinely confused.

"Right here," Hunk said from the doorway. He was holding a plate of delicious looking cake pops. "I felt bad about everything that's been happening lately, so, even though it wasn't my fault, I decided to make you all a little treat."

Hunk smiled warmly. Pidge saw his smile and felt bad. Did her pranks make the other paladins upset? Were they crossing a line? None of the pranks caused any damage that lasted longer than a few hours. But still... Maybe she should confess to being the prankster.

"Thanks, man!" Lance said, walking over and taking one. He took a bite and immediately spit it out. "Ack! What the quiznack was that?"

Hunk's smiled changed from kind to menacing. "That's right! Brussel sprouts dipped in chocolate!"

Keith gasped. "What? Hunk? Why? Why have you turned to the dark side?"

"I'm sick of all you pranking each other. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Hunk said with a blank, emotionless expression. "Consider this a warning." He walked backward out of the room.

Pidge smiled to herself. She had succeeded. The paladins were in a full on prank war.