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This chap is affectionately dedicated to - __Aavanti_🖤✨

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"Wear your vulnerability like that the badge of honor it is!!!
In a world that can be cold and unkind, it takes great strength and even more bravery to wear your heart on your sleeve the way you do..................."

"Not so long ago I had full authority over my life.... but regrettably somewhere along the line I lost it.....
I lost it completely!
I lost it because of you both... And now I've simply turned into a mere puppet of your hands;
a puppet who is unable to make choices,
a puppet who is unable to shape her own destiny, and
a puppet who has to accept every damn thing that her master or mistress commands....
Why???"

Yelling out in utter frustration, Manjiri expressed her helplessness whilst seething in pain and fury. Her elevated tone made Adishri and Jai flinch at their positions as being perfectly acquainted with their little sister's behaviour, they never saw her reacting like this.
Ved too was struck with bewilderment viewing the scene in front of his eyes.

"Just because I'm the youngest in the family, it doesn't simply mean you people have got the permit to keep me hanging on to bits and pieces of what was hidden...
And just because I doesn't mention or oppose, it isn't mean that I'm absolutely okay of whatever you people decide."

Yelping the last sentence Manjiri bit her lips, turned her head and infuriately blinked her eyes a few times, forcing back the tears that she was so anxious to shed. Though she tried her best but at last despairingly she failed in holding back her tears.
Seeing her little sister cracking up like that Adishri too sobbed speechlessly. She advertently extended her hands in order to reach out to Manjiri but abruptly stopped in midway when she saw Jai taking the opportunity to embrace the trembling figure of her sister.

Jai firmly pressed Manjiri's head into his chest as he said this with deep emotion whilst gently patting her on her back.

"Minnie as long as you are willing to come back with me, I can guarantee you all your authority....
Don't be sad, don't you still have me in all this? Huh?
No matter what, I promise I will always be your solid support......"

Beholding and hearing this Adishri felt a sharp pain in her heart, she was unable to say a single word as suddenly it seemed to her that now perhaps everything will slip out from her palms.

"What right do you have to say this to me? Don't forget how disgusting what you did was...
Over and above that if you're questioning on my husband's accountability and responsible behavior then sorry to ask you, were you responsible enough that now you're judging other's?"

Manjiri was so screwed - up that she even forgot to struggle in Jai's hold, but when she heard his words she immediately raised her head. Whilst glaring at his direction and freeing her own self from his hold, Manjiri frigidly asked him this with an eerie calm voice. The look that was crossing her features spontaneously sent a shiver down Jai's spine.
Pleading her he stated

"Minnie dear please don't embarrass me any more, I'm already full of self - guilt......
I will be very honest that i literally never fully comprehended that how much a part of my life you all three were until you all weren't; be it Dadi, Shri or you my love....
But for once, just for once, try to be in my place and feel that pain, when your most valued Dadi's small town old - fashioned conservative values and conceptions abruptly turn more important than her affection for you? What will you feel at then?
Then also will it not hurt you, tell me... huh?"

"I won't say that you're absolutely wrong here.... But my Dadi too wasn't completely at fault because she chose to live a life or anticipated her children/grandchildren to live a life in which she was raised to live, and that life only used to make sense to her....
So it's really incorrect to ridicule her belief system and raising.
And by getting married to Jiya Bhabhi you clearly wounded her traditional values and ideologies, and one obviously feels offended when their belief system abruptly gets dismantle. Therefore same situation was with her, so now you tell was her mistake that major that she had to yearn for a single glimpse of her grandson and her great - granddaughter in her last few moments of life..... Huh?
Tell me?"

When Manjiri didn't received anything from Jai's side except his silent repentant and conscience - strike look, she drew a deep breath and added whilst wiping off the tears which were ceaselessly rolling down her cheeks

"Now you're 'unanswerable'...
Just the way your phone lines were 'unreachable', when our Dadi was lying down on the deathbed.........
You hurt her a lot Bhaiya, I can't forget this... Your parents hurt her a lot. She was in pain, sheer pain whilst leaving the world.

She didn't deserve all that... She didn't!
You, all of you disturbed everything...
Spoiled everything!"

Manjiri added the last line whilst eyeing Jai and Adishri in particular before finally collapsing and breaking down on one of the chair placed around the table. She covered her face with both of her hands and let out a utter painful sob.
Jai and Adishri couldn't help anything but to rush towords her but when Manjiri sensed both of their presences around her, she immediately pushed herself off the chair and steadied herself back on to her feet enunciating sharply

"There was a time when both of yours entire attention used to mean the world to me...
But now if truth be told it doesn't even flatter me anymore, not even a single bit.
I literally feel like it's strangling my throat...."

"Shut up Miru!
Are you even realizing what you're saying?"

Adishri sniffed as she whisper - inquired this.
To which Manjiri said getting in her face as her voice rose higher

"Yes Dii I very much realize one thing very clearly and that's I'm no more a human in your, in fact all of your eyes....
I've turned into a mere thing.... yes a thing which can only be owned and possessed, or can say a useless stuff to get rid off as soon as possible.
Firstly Tauji - Taiji wanted to have me, and then when I turned unprofitable they anyhow wanted to wash their hands off me at the earliest....
Then Dii you too exhibited your total ownership on me without even giving a single heed to my will, my emotions...
And now even Jai Bhaiya wants to have a control over me.
Wow! Isn't it?
Have you people ever realized what this makes me feel??? Huh?"

"Miru please don't say like this, you're misunderstanding my affection and care... My possessiveness only aimed to shield you, hurting your emotions was never my intention.
Trust me..."

Adishri tried to clarify taking Manjiri's hand in hers but on the contrast Manjiri turned blind eyes towards her clarification and retracted her hand whilst pouring out her heart with a weak voice, thick with various emotions

"But you did Dii, intentionally or not, I got hurt in the first place....
I got hurt when you made me feel that my opinions and sentiments were worthless,
I got hurt when you refused my proposal to shift Dadi to Noida's hospital,
I got hurt when you signed those hospital papers of her emergency surgeries without informing me even though you knew very well what there outcome could be, and
I got hurt when you turned my life upside down in an instant just to prove your right upon me.....
Moreover, for pity's sake I was and am your sister, not your possession to safeguard or keep a track of, that you always come up with this so called justification..."

"I always knew that a constant chaos keeps running through your mind but I swear I never had any idea about all this Miru...
You unnecessarily had more baggage on you than you ever let anyone see.
Had I become so alienated that not even for once you bothered yourself to stop by your Dii and let out all these things??..."

Stupefied by Manjiri's pointed words, Adishri softly yet sincerely murmured this after gulping down the lump in her throat.

"Isn't it silly Dii? You yourself had burnt the bridge and now you're asking why I don't make a visit...
Before all this marriage and all; not one, not two, not three; I myself even don't know how many times I tried to approach you...
But each time you distanced me saying - 'go back to the room Miru, don't get involved in all these matters, do as I tell Miru as it's for your own good only, you're too naïve for a woman of Taiji's caliber you won't understand anything therefore don't interrupt...' and the list goes on and on.
You know very well Dii that I don't have any memory related to Mummy - Papa,...... since childhood I considered only three people as my own - Dadi, Jai Bhaiya and you. My whole world used to revolve around you three...
And then I only had Dadi, after you and Bhaiya got involved into your own respective lives. Without a doubt I was in great pain when Dadi left but do you have an idea when did I suffer more immense pain?....."

With an apologetic look, speechless Adishri lowered her moist eyes as she clearly understood what Manjiri meant, whereas on getting no response Manjiri mopped up her wet eyes and cheeks, and took a few steps back getting a little aloof from both Jai and Adishri.
After a while, composing herself Manjiri continued

"It literally sucks when the only person who can make you feel better, becomes also the reason of your emotional distress!
Dii the things which only mattered to you were house property, family disputation and your terrible intimate promise which you made to Dadi......
Getting spare time to have a word with me was off limits for you... Right?
I only know how much I craved for your emotional support and your presence beside me whilst lying and crying alone in that room, but you didn't care Dii...
You didn't care!"

"If I had let myself care, all I could possibly feel was only and only heartache. The ache of changing others made me change myself first.... In fact I didn't changed a lot, a lot changed me.
There were a lot many things that I too was not having any control over. They too were crippling me, hurting me, breaking my soul into unnumbered pieces.... but I won't deny that they were also changing me completely as a person.
So now, at present I don't fear of anything except 'losing you Miru'... Cause you're my biggest weakness, and that was why I was pushing you away from myself as I very knew that the moment I'll be in your vicinity, all my daringness and fearlessness would have got diluted.

I know I did wrong, but I swear to you that my intentionality was always been equitable and virtuous...
God! How can I make you believe in my words....."

Adishri cried out defencelessly, after voicing the last line she couldn't help but listlessly broke down to tears. Palming her face she tried hard to suppress her sobs but nothing really worked.
Jai looked at her worriedly but unfortunately he had no guts left in him to even come to terms with her.
On the other hand, on witnessing such wrecked state of his wife Ved hurriedly sprinted towards her side in order to pacify her.

"Dii you claim that you don't want to lose me, but still do nothing to make me stay either...
Once I idiotically declared leave me alone and you....? You obediently took that rubbish utter seriously and left me at my own yet again.
Haven't you ever thought of embracing me in your arms..... despite the fact you very well know that half of my miseries fly away with your single magical bear hug."

Manjiri too teared up and from the depths of her throat came these words in a faint voice that was practically filled with despair. But this time something changed in her bloodshot eyes. There was sheer clemency and chastity in her pooled up eyes, she was literally hating herself for being the only reason for her sister's mental pain at that very moment.

On hearing Manjiri's words Adishri sobered up a little and gazed at her little sister's going easy on eyes which were sheening with dampness, taken aback a little she took hesitant steps towards her and without wasting a single second pulled her Miru into an honest protective bear - like yet maternal hug whilst earnestly apologizing in a feeble tone

"I sincerely apologize for each and everything Miru, I'm terribly sorry for taking you for granted nearly each time... Please forgive me, please don't punish your sister anymore, please!"

Manjiri who was literally worn out of all that fighting back and making points, felt void of any emotion instantly at that moment. She was too unclear and frazzled to even negotiate anything with her own heart at then, so she just unemotionally patted her one hand lightly on Adishri's back in order to comfort her.

A shade of sudden relief and contentment ran across Ved's face on seeing this scene in front of his eyes.
Jai whose eyes were wet too, felt a little guilt free and alleviated to witness this.

"Can you hate someone for what they have done,
but still love them for whom they had been???............."

_

_

_

"Sometimes we have to travel to unknown places to find things we didn't know we'd lost, and to repair parts of us we didn't know were broken......................"

"You okay Miru?"

Manjiri took a deep breath trying to calm her aggravated nerves, and meekly nodded at Ved meeting his gaze in the rear view mirror of the car.
To which Ved just offered her a genuine assuring barely noticeable smile through the same mirror and continued focussing on the road.

Adishri who was sitting on the passenger's seat seemed lost in her own trance.... Her facial expressions were outlining the same emotions as her little sister's.
Both appeared drained, both physically and emotionally.

Nobody didn't say anything in the ride back home, only for once Ved timidly asked both the women if they were okay.....
Ved could only roughly conjecture of how it must have been difficult for the two sisters to once again let their brother dissociate and distance from them, but at then he was only pleased with the fact that they had Manjiri with them, and now no one was taking her away nor she was going anywhere.

On the other hand, Manjiri being seated on the backseat of the car was aimlessly staring outside the window. She was literally mentally perplexing of what actually she was experiencing right then,
she was neither sad nor happy,
neither felt too apologetic to turn down Jai's offer to accompany him back nor felt too pleased to reconcile with Adishri....... but maybe a little empty, after that unusual social encounter of familiar faces and many uneasy confrontations of a hell lot of weird astonishing variety of sentiments... Perhaps it was a social burnout or perhaps nothing but her overanalysing self. She never really figured out the theory behind these goodbye saddening spells.

"Sometimes, lost means you are wandering within your spirit,
giving yourself time to rest,
as you prepare to move forward again............................"

_

_

_

"Everyone has a different way of escaping the dark stillness of their mind......................."

Manjiri's body was on autopilot mode when she got home. No sooner did she reached the main hall then she immediately directed herself to go upstairs in order to reach her room as soon as possible, away from everyone and everything for some time...

"Miru.."

Adishri concerningly called after her but she just kept on climbing the stairs absentmindedly. Moreover, Adishri's heels were too making it hard to keep up with Manjiri's hurried long strides in her usual platform sandals.

But before Adishri could try to follow her little sister, Ved blocked her way while uttering,

"Let her go Shri!"

"What?.... Let her go?"

Adishri breathed in sharply reacting on Ved's command.
To which Ved softly beseeched whilst putting his hands on both of her shoulders caressingly,

"Yes let her be.."

"But Ved... I need to get to her.
God only knows what frame of mind she is in."

Walking towards their room with exaggerated slowness Adishri meekly put forward her anticipation.
Slightly grimacing at her words Ved instructed,

"Just allow her some time Shri, I'm sure she will come around soon..."

"Will she?.... You think so?"

Unpretentiously Adishri probed.
Ved peered at his wife lovingly and murmured gently,

"Hundred and ten percent!!
Now you also take your health supplements and have some good rest. Okay?"

Jiggling her head Adishri offered her husband a momentary smile.

"At times, you should stay self - restraint to yourself and remember that the rain might kill the flower, the same rain that once helped it bloom......................."

_

"The feminine urge to release a gut-wrenching scream from the depths of your soul...................."

In the wake of have been emotionally available a lot for the environment around her, Manjiri at last preferred social distancing from everyone for the nth degree and stepped inside her room. She immediately kicked off her sandals to some unspecified corners. She was dead beat to the point where she didn't even have the spirit to even get out of her clothes and change, so she just straight away lazily got sprawled on the bed like that only.

From past few months she literally avoided such type of sentimentally taxing circumstances that now she was inertly experiencing an overflow of draining feelings after today's unusual meeting.......

Absently and abruptly her gaze got fixated on the clock hanging on the front wall, which was accurately striking 4:20 p.m.
And suddenly at that very moment, she recalled that Shaurya had told him that he certainly would get free at 4 o'clock..... As soon as she remembered this, she immediately sat upright. Much to her own surprise she abruptly gained some vitality as if there was a spirit boosting switch in her body that has been automatically flicked by the mere thought of Shaurya. She instantly felt a little liberated or was that her autopilot self responding?

Taking a deep sigh and shrugging inwardly she decided to try Shaurya's phone.
But unfortunately much to her lucklessness, her back to back two attempts of calling him went in vain as he didn't pick up the phone each time.

She waited for him to call back for a while but sadly at last, she genuinely never felt that downhearted as she was feeling right then...

Dropping her handset next to her feet, she dully wrapped her arms around her knees. The frustration and anguish of everything she came across in the past few hours came down on her hard as she silently weeped resting her head against her folded knees.

She didn't realize she had fallen asleep sobbing like that only on her side of the bed until she felt someone gently caress the side of her face and hair. Waking up with a jolt and relief she found.........................

"Most things will be okay, but not everything will be;
Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose.............
Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go..............
Acceptance is a small, quiet room!!!"

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This is it for now. Hope you liked it. I am sorry for the mistakes.

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