TW: Panic attack

When I wake up, I'm in my bed, my hair and shirt are sticking to my skin, and I'm doing my best to take deep breaths, but every time I do the shallower they get.

I suppose you could say I had a night terror and you wouldn't be wrong, per se. I'd try to say what the dream was about but I'd rather not because I think my breath intake is finally going back to normal, and I don't really want it to get sporadic and out of control again.

Now, what I'm about to do you can't make fun of me okay? I'm, like, 15 and I don't know what exactly happened in my nightmare, but it was pretty fucking scary, alright? Anyway, I slide out of bed and crack my door open just a tad.

I don't want to bother anyone else. Am I going to bother somebody else? Yes, I need him. I'm scared out of my fucking mind because there's a pretty high fucking chance he'll come back and take me again. And I don't really want that to happen because... God! That was fucking traumatic.

My face itches, so I move my hand to scratch it and, well jeez, when did I start crying? And I can't breathe either, I think I'm hyperventilating.

My door creaks again.

I don't actually know why I can't breathe. I would say it's because of my nightmare, but I can't even remember it. I like I said before, all I know was that it was scary as hell.

A hand lays on my shoulder, presumably trying to calm me down, but I yelp instead and its still really fucking hard to breathe.

Why is it so hard to breathe? Jesus Nico, get a fucking grip.

I do. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of grip I wanted but at least my hands are busy. I bring my hands up to hair, yanking at it and curling it viciously. Its not exactly ideal but it's better than scratching at my arms and legs until they bleed.

It's a little easier to breathe now. Still can't breathe normally, I'm still gasping for air, but at least I'm not inhaling and not exhaling every other second anymore. It's a start I guess.

Someone pulls my hands taking them into their own hands, and I whimper a little because why did they do that? That was my only distraction. I can firmly say that that start I was just talking about ended really fucking fast.

"I need you to calm down, Nico. You're fine, I promise. You just need to breathe. You're taking deep breaths, but that's only half of the process, baby. In and out, breathe with me, love," she moves my right hand to her chest so I could feel her heart beating. I won't lie: it's actually helping some.

"That's it. You're doing good, Nico. Just keep breathing with me for a little longer okay?" I nod my head. I'm still crying but not as hard as when I first started.

We keep this up for a little longer, just focusing on my breathing. I finally open my eyes expecting to see Hazel, or maybe even Aunt Hestia (don't know why her though, haven't seen Aunt Hest in a while).

But nope. Of course, it's my luck to embarrass myself in front of the woman from yesterday. I still don't even know her name.

"Thank you... for not freaking out." Really Nico? Out of all the things you could have said, you settle for that. Well, you might as well ask her name she can't think any less of you than she already does.

"Of course not, love. Are you alright?" God, she's really nice. My brain's telling me 'Be wary, she could want to hurt you and your family!' but my gut's saying 'Nah man. She's real nice, she's cool!'

I nod my head, bringing myself out of my thoughts. "I think so. Hey... who are you? S-sorry if that's rude! I just didn't catch your name earlier...?"

She chuckles softly and runs her fingers through my hair. "I'm Persephone, but you can shorten it however you like. Now, back to the situation at hand: your panic attack. Do you know what triggered it?"

Fuck.

I nod my head, not saying anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I mean. I probably should, but there's like a 100% chance that will send me into another attack considering I don't even like thinking about it. So...

"Not really... Also I'm sorry for waking you. You can go back to sleep if you want."

Then again I also don't want to go to sleep by myself with the high chance I have another nightmare.

"That's bullshit. Don't be sorry, alright? And I'll head back to sleep when I know you're alright." Persephone's got this look on her face that makes me feel like if I disobey her she'll slap the stupid out of me, but she'll also come to any and all of my parent-student events.

"Okay. But really I'm fine...? At least I think I am." I stand up offering her a hand as I continue, "I'm going to get a glass of water then I'll go to bed, promise."

Persephone looks hesitant, but she does take my hand and quickly pulls me into a hug as if we'd known each for a long time. She pulls back and studies my face before sighing softly. "If you insist. But I'm only sleeping three doors down if you need me alright?"

Have I mentioned how nice Persephone is? Because she is.

I nod kissing cheek as I head downstairs. I turn around halfway down. "Thanks, Seph."

She hums softly closing the door to her guest room.

I quickly get my water then make my way back upstairs stopping short at my door. The pros of sleeping by myself I wouldn't have to explain myself however the cons are that I could probably have another attack.

Shaking my head I turn around, going to another bedroom. Quickly shutting the door behind me I crouch next to him my glass still in my hand.

Are you sure want to do this, Nico?

Nope!

Taking another sip of water, I gently shake him awake. "Dad. Dad wake up."

He groans and his eyes tighten as he attempts to make out my figure in the dark. "What's the problem?" He sits up on one arm.

I suddenly regret not sucking it up and going to my room. No going back now though.

"Um, I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" I mumbled. He hates when we mumble, but honestly I don't think I could have asked without mumbling.

He sighs and ruffles my hair with his large hands. "C'mon."

Oh thank God, he said yes! I grin climbing into the bed and put my glass on the side table.

After a few moments, just when he might be falling asleep again, I lay my head his chest and speak softly. "Dad? Do you love me?"

He doesn't say anything. Which honestly is not promising at all. "Yes...?"

"Well that didn't sound like you trying to be nice at all. Thanks!" So, I'm a little sad sue me.

He sighs and reaches over once again ruffling my hair. He finally looks me in my eyes, well as much as he can look in the dark. "Of course I love you. Why do you ask?"

Oh no reason at all, dad. Just feeling a little insecure it's fine. A don't worry.

I shake my head closing my eyes and bury my face in his shirt. "Just checking. 'Night.."