A/N: Hey guys, here is some more langst for tour angsty souls. Trigger warnings contain, self harm and depressing thoughts. Remember you can leave a request if you want!

"Lance can you not! Like seriously, it's the most annoying thing! Shut up!"

"Lance what the hell was that? Your so behind everyone else."

"Are you even listening to us? We told for the last time just shut up!"

"I would feel embarrassed if I was you, you suck! I don't even know why your here!"

"BE QUITE!"

Lance may against his door, tears streaming down his face as he hiccuped and looked away. Another day, and he still got the same BS. He was begging to wonder what he was even doing out here in space. The team clearly didn't need him. What was he even good for?

He choked back a sob. No. He mustn't think like this, deep down they care for him right? Uhh. He's going to be so late for training now. He didn't even get any sleep... or breakfast. Ah never mind he can always have breakfast another day. As for sleep, well he never got sleep any more.

Lance quickly headed to the training room as fast as he could. When he arrived he was met with disappointed looks. He opened his mouth to apologise, but Shiro interrupted him.

"No, Lance, shut the hell up for once and listen to me. Get your act together and stop slacking off! Is it really that hard to do?"

Lance shut his mouth and hung his head slightly. Hunk raised an eyebrow at Lances red eyes but nobody else seemed to notice.

"You okay buddy?"
Hunk asked placing a hand in Lances shoulder. Lance flinched slightly at the contact.

"Uh yeah I'm just a little homesick I guess."
That's was his excuse. It was always his excuse. It was true, but it was only part of the problem, it was also the most believable.

Hunks eyes suddenly narrowed, he removed his hand in disgust.
"Not this again, Lance we are all home sick so shut up!"
Lance stepped back surprised by Hunks sudden outburst. Hunk was always kinder than the others. What the hell?

"I miss my mums too! Your not the only homesick one!"

The other were now staring at me as well, a look of anger and disgust on their faces.

"Homesick? Lance I don't have a home to go home too!"
Keith blurted.

"My family has been strewn across space! You ungrateful piece of crap! I don't even know if mine are safe."

"You have no right to feel homesick. Your problems aren't nearly as bad as ours."

Lance cringed. They were right. What the hell? He didn't deserve to feel sad. He had no right too. They all had it worse then him.

"Are you done distracting us?"
Shiro asked disapprovingly.

Lance nodded meekly.

"Good. Let's continue."

———————————————————

Lance was curled up in his room later hungry and tired. They others had been avoiding him, when he went near them they told him to shut up. Everything he said made everything go wrong. It would be so much better if he just never talked. He was such a blabber mouth. That's why they hated him. Lance suddenly got a bright idea. He could fix himself. Make them love him. If he never spoke. Lance made a silent vow not to speak next time they saw him.

He got up and headed to the bathroom. He was too much of a blabber mouth to trust himself not to speak. So he'd have to make sure it wasn't possible. He picked up and small shaving razor from under the sink, and lightly ran it over where his voice box would be. He chocked in pain, as blood trickled down his neck. He staggered back into his room, struggling to breath. He lay awake all night shivering, coughing in pain every now and then. It would be worth it though. They would love him now.

The next morning Lance skipped breakfast and headed straight to training he couldn't wait to show off his new found quite ness. He gave everyone a bright wave as he entered the training room.

"Shut the HELL UP!"
Shiro roared, even though Lance hadn't said anything.

"Seriously Lance, not now, you have not right to wear that frown. You not sad!"
Lance hadn't even realise that his smile had flattered until Keith pointed it out.

"Why can't you stop whining! It would make life so much easier for us!"
Pidge scoffed and looked away.

Lance didn't understand. He hadn't even said anything. They probably assumed he would say something stupid. Gods, was he really that predictable?

They were right .... he can't feel sad or sorry for himself. They have it much worse.

That night Lance found another thing to fix about himself. He spent the entire night practising holding a smile in place. He didn't bother trying to sleep. He knew it wouldn't help anyway. They night after learning how to keep a smile, he taught himself how not to flinch when he gets hurt. Beating himself up in his room, running blades over his skin until he couldn't feel the pain any longer. Now no one could get mad when he stops in battle because of an injury. The night after that, he trained int the trading room for an extra seven hours. Now... he had fixed himself everything was okay now. Now they would love him.

——————————————-

"Hey have you guys seen Lance?"
Hunk asked when he set the table for breakfast.
Pidge shrugged.
"Doing something stupid probably. I'd really like it if he didn't show up to a meal once in while, it's always a bother with him here."
Hunk looked around confused.
"Pidge... he wasn't here... he hasn't been to breakfast .... he didn't come yesterday."

Keith frowned.
"Now that you mention it Hunk, I don't think he's been to meal in a while... oh well he deserves it!"
Shiro nodded approvingly across the table.
"It's all his fault. For ... for Umm being to ... childish and annoying."
Shiro declares.

Lance walked in tired and sat at the table with others, smiling, and waved at them. Pidge cringed.

"Lance be quite."

There was no reply.

"Lance... I said shut up?"

Again no reply. Pidge looked up at Lance really confused. Had he even said anything.

"Hey Lance... no retorts?"

Lance shook his head still smiling. Keith looked away, slightly unsettled.

"Good ... your voice was too annoying anyway."

Lance continued to just smile. At this point Pidge was really freaked out. Everyone on the table was staring at Lance.

"Alright Lance, your creeping everyone out, would you just say something. Lances brow creased but he kept his smile up. He pulled down the hood of his jacket and pointed to his neck, where a red smooth line lay across his skin.

Shiro eyes widened.
"Lance what the hell? How? Who hurt you."

Lance was frowning now. He pointed a slim finger at.... himself.

"What the hell would you do that? That's disgusting!"
Pidge shrieked.

Lances face suddenly grew angry, then with no warning returned back to smile. He simply sat there eerily smiling. Kieth was the next to speak.

"Hey Lance, what's going on? Why would you hurt yourself.
Lance stopped and grabbed a pen and took out a crinkled post it note.

It's what you guys wanted right? For me to shut up.

Suddenly guilt hit everyone in the stomach.
"What....? No we didn't... Lance ..."

I haven't said anything for a week. You noticed right? I'm fixed. Like you want me to be.

Without warning Lance removed his jacket, revealing so many scars and wounds all down his arms and body.

I'm stronger now!

Hunks eyes widened at his seriously thin arms.
It looked like he hadn't eaten anything for ages.
Suddenly Hunk began to cry.

"Lance I'm so sorry! You shouldn't have done that! It's our fault. We were so unfair to you."

Lance shook his head.

I have no right to feel sad

"You do! We are sorry! We just took out our anger on you! It wasn't right we are sorry Lance!" Pidge sobbed.

No matter what the team said, Lance simply smiled and shook his head. They tried everything to bring him back. Lance was twice as strong now, he never bothered them, always followed orders, but he never cracked a joke, he never laughed, there was nobody to make the team smile at his goofiness anymore. It was all their fault. They did this to him. Nothing could bring him back.