So I corrected the chapters because some things didn't match. I also added a few scenes. This is where I changed the most: 9, 10, 14, 17, 18, 27 and 36. But I corrected all of them.

~~~~

It was a relief to finally sleep in my bed. The room on the ship was comfortable, but nowhere is it as comfortable as in your own room. I stretched contentedly and sighed. I have to come back to reality again. Annoying parents, school and all that shit.

At least I still have time to rest. Tomorrow is Friday and Mindy is having some big party. This will be a premature end to Spring Break. I haven't decided yet whether I will go. The most important thing now is for me to rest. I have about three days left for this. Maybe it's time to do something meaningful in life? Peaceful and valuable. I will paint something, read a book. I don't know. But I don't want anything to spoil my days off from school.

I got out of bed, grabbed my phone and went downstairs. It's weird seeing parents together in the kitchen eating breakfast. They are always so busy. Dad with work, mom with spending money. But maybe this will all settle down? I'm going to listen to them from now on. I could have done it from the beginning. This will be the best for me.

— Good morning — I said and stood next to the table

They looked at me and nodded. They're still a little offended by our conversation about Jill. I'll fix it. I just want peace.

— Listen, I know I overreacted. And I'm sorry — I said it completely honestly — I will do as you want, okay?

I can't live in the past. Jill is different now and so am I. We'll get through this together.

— You're finally acting wisely — father told me and even smiled a little

Is he proud of me? Have I lived to see this day?

— You don't know how happy I was when you hugged Jill for goodbye — mom said

I smiled at her and something stirred in my stomach. I hugged her tightly then because it gave me comfort. She made me feel less hopeless and naive.

Tara didn't come home with us. Sam picked her up and glared at me with madness. She's angry that her little sister went on a cruise with us. But hey, she doesn't have to worry about me anymore.

— I think our relationship can work.

— This would be best for the company — dad said — And for you. No one will take care of you like Jill. She had bad moments, but she's a great girl.

Of course. And everything that happened a few years ago no longer exists. It would be best to forget and build it all over again. Forget the past, new start. I really think we can handle it.

— Everyone has bad times sometimes. And I want you to know that...I am clean. It will be a month soon.

— That's great, honey. Keep it up — mom told me and I felt uncomfortable

"Honey"...it just doesn't sound normal coming from her mouth.

This is probably the nicest conversation I've had with them.

— Eat something, I'll pour you some coffee — dad suggested

— Thanks — I smiled

— I'll make your favorite soup for dinner — mom said and handle me a plate

I sat down at the table with them, unable to contain my happiness. So all I had to do, was to get back together with Jill to get my family back?

— Amber — dad said and looked at me — We know, we weren't the best parents, but we're family. Remember that.

I just nodded and he patted my shoulder with his hand. I clenched my jaw slightly and stared at the plate.

I checked my phone and saw a lot of messages from my friends. Mostly Liv. She wonders what it was like with Tara on the cruise. I didn't tell her what happened. And that it's over with Tara Carpenter. I'll tell her when we meet.

For now, I want to enjoy my life and the fact that my parents are talking to me normally again. I can't believe that for a moment I was ready to throw it all away just for her...That would be fucking stupid.

— Blake and Kate invited us to dinner on Sunday. You'll show up, right? — mom asked

— Yeah, sure — I nodded and I started spreading guacamole on my toast

— We've already ordered everything for your birthday. We also sent out invitations.

— Cool. How mamy people?

— About one hundred twenty.

My birthday was never my birthday. It's simply a meeting of people with whom parents have their business. Of course, my friends from school are always there too. But it's never my day. Everyone is in gala style, the music is serious. I usually just wait for the after party. Then at least something is happening.

I started eating toast and finally checking the other messages.

Jill: hey what's up?

me: tired a bit
me: just woke up
me: you?

I went to the chat with my friends to see what they texted about the party. It's just about who comes and how much alcohol we have to buy. I'll just give them money for ten bottles. I really don't know if I want to go there.

me: who transfer money to?

Mindy: me

me: k

At the same moment, another notification came from Liv. Fuck...I shouldn't have texted in the group.

the real one: you reply in the group and in private you ignore me

me: sorry
me: let's meet today, I'll explain

the real one: okay just you and me?

me: yes

I decided to ignore messages from twenty other people. As usual, it's stupid invitations to a party, unsuccessful pick-ups and attempts to get to know each other. I don't think I want to meet anyone new anymore.

I bit the last piece of toast and got up from the table. I took a cup of coffee and decided to go back to my room.

— Won't you eat more? — dad asked

— No, thanks.

As I was climbing the stairs I got a reply from Jill.

Jill: I went for a run
Jill: I will rest for a while and do some training
Jill: I need to burn off all the alcohol I drank on the cruise hahha

me: dont torture yourself like that

I put my phone away and instead of going to my room, I headed to my own library. I opened the door and looked around the place where I used to spend a lot of time. Maybe it will become what saves me on bad days again.

I closed the door and looked at the picture he was painting for Tara. I hid it here so no one would see it.

I want to punch it and smash it. But instead I sigh and go to choose a book. I'm not ready.

...

I parked in front of Liv's house and put on the handbrake. I got out of the car and my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and saw Jill on the screen. Without hesitation, I answered and leaned against the car.

— Hi — I said and the corner of my mouth twitched

— Hello, I wanted to ask if you have plans for the evening.

And in that moment I felt like few years ago. This feeling excites me. It's like going back to the past, but the good past.

— I'm going into Liv's house now, but I'll be free later.

— Shall we eat something? — she asked

I smiled widely at these words and ran my hand through my hair.

— Of course.

— Then be ready by nine. I will pick you up.

— Okay. See you.

— Bye.

We hung up and I walked to McKenzie's door. I rang the bell and after a while her mother opened the door.

— Oh, hi Amber — she said happy and let me in

— Hi Mrs McKenzie.

— Liv should be in her room. I'm making you cupcakes, come down when I call you.

This woman is a goddess. Nobody cooks and bakes as well as she does. I could live here.

— I wouldn't miss the opportunity to eat your baked goods — I told her with a smile

— It's a pity that my daughter doesn't appreciate them so much! — she said loudly so that Liv could hear her

— Sugar destroys my skin — Liv replied as she entered the hall

— That's bullshit — her mom told her — I'm going to make sure they don't burn.

When she left us alone, Liv quickly hugged me. I felt good in my friend's arms.

— You have to tell me what it was like.

— Sure...

She pulled me by the hand into her room and I started thinking about how best to put this whole situation into words.

When I closed the door behind us, Liv had already thrown herself on the bed, put her head in her hand and smiled.

— I'm listening.

I blinked a few times at the excited girl. It's probably best to say it quickly and definitely.

— I'm going to be married! — I said, raising my hands

Liv parted her lips and then jumped out of bed.

— Yaaaaaass!!! — she started screaming and ran to pick me up

— Jesus...— I mumbled as the girl lifted me up and spun me around

She's so loud that I won't be surprised if someone comes here thinking I'm murdering her.

— I knew it! God, Sam will kill you, but it doesn't matter!

Shit.

— Liv no, put me down...

— Oh, right.

She set me down on the floor and I sighed. I started it in the worst way I could.

— Tara needs to send me a picture of the ring...— she said and ran to get the phone

— Liv I'm not marrying Tara! — I shouted quickly so that she wouldn't have time to write to the girl

Liv looked at me in shock. My mood worsened and I sat down in the chair.

— What do you mean? — she asked and put the phone back — I mean, I know you're young, but in the future...

— I wasn't talking about Tara.

Liv fell silent and just sat on the bed confused.

— Me and Jill are together again — I said calmly

— What?! Why?! But you wanted to tell Tara...

— Yeah. I wanted.

It pained me to admit it. I really wanted to confess my feelings to her, ask her if she would be my girlfriend, give up all my property...for her.

— So what the fuck is this about?

— My parents and Jill's parents made a deal. Either we will be together or we will end up with nothing.

— That's why you asked if I'd rather be poor and in love?

She was drunk at the time, I didn't expect she remembered all this at all.

— Yes.

— So you chose money? — she asked, disappointed in me

— No. No Liv, I chose Tara.

I felt tears in my eyes and this time I don't think I'll be able to hold them back.

— But... — I continue — when I went to tell her...

My voice cracks and tears begin to fall from my eyes. Liv walked over to me worriedly and sat down on the arm of the chair next to me. She hugged me and started rubbing my back.

— When I got there she was kissing some guy — I finished

— Fuck, Amber I'm so sorry.

I hugged Liv and she hugged me tightly. I have to cry. I can't contain my emotions any longer. Tara Carpenter completely broke my heart into pieces. I doubt anyone would ever be able to glue it together.

— I really love her though...

— I know you do.

I feel like a huge hole has been torn inside me.

— I've already agreed to the deal.

— But Jill won't help you forget — Liv said and rested her forehead against mine

— I know — I replied, choking on tears — But she will be my wife someday. I have to focus on her.

— Are you sure this is a good idea?

— I know her. I can handle it.

— Just remember that you're not a problem. Previously, it was Jill who ruined everything, now it was Tara. It's not your fault — she told me and I felt a little calmer

Why am I never enough? I understand Jill, we both hurt each other. I wasn't a saint, I was childish. I didn't support her in her episodes. But what did I mess up with Tara? I tried to be the best for her. I even changed. I was always there for her...

And yet it wasn't enough, because I'm not a boy.