Don't go for older guys. I was dating a 4-year-older guy for month and yesterday I found out that at the same time he was dating a married woman..........

~~~

I'm standing with the sheriff at the door of my house. It's not my first time but it hits differently. They did tests on me and it turned out that I was clean. Hicks was a little disappointed because she couldn't make a problem for me but Sheriff Riley said he was proud. That cheered me up a bit. I did not do anything wrong, it was all Jill's fault. I hope she can at least spend the night at the police station before they bail her out. Maybe this will teach her a lesson after all. She needs one. I learned something too. To not believe in her anymore, because she will never change. Jill Roberts is completely destroyed. She is twenty-four years old this year, and her development stopped when she was eighteen.

I'm angry with myself for believing for a moment in this fairy tale about a great change. This girl never did. She was pretending to gain my trust again. At least she managed to do that. It's just a pity that not for long.

- Good evening...sheriff - my dad said as he opened the door

He shook the sheriff's hand in greeting, then looked at me. Anger immediately flashed through his eyes. I kind of understand him.

- What has my daughter done again? - he asked

"Again", this sounds so terrible but so real.

Mom quickly ran over to us and looked at me in shock. She's probably having a lot of flashbacks right now. Me, smudged makeup, police.

- Nothing, Blake. But her...girlfriend, I guess, did. I just wanted to bring Amber back safely - he put his hand on my shoulder and smiled comfortably - Okay, goodbye then.

- Goodbye - I said and my father just shook his head

- Take care of yourself - he added and I nodded

As soon as he was behind the fence, I felt a tug. My mother dragged me into the house and slammed the door.

So let's start the fun. I'm used to it now.

- Hey, calm down - my father told her

I looked at him surprised and so did my mother. So what? Will he be a decent father from now on because I agree to his terms? Why do they sometimes scold me so much and sometimes worry about me?

- Calm down?! Don't you understand how much trouble she's caused lately? And now the sheriff has brought her home!

The most important thing here is what people say, as always.

- He said she didn't do anything! - dad shrugged

- I don't believe it!

Of course she doesn't believe it because I can't be trusted either. I may not be as bad as Jill, but I'm no angel.

- Amber, can you tell us what happened? - he asked calmly and I just smirked

- Ask Jill - I said and turned to go to the room - Maybe there will be an opportunity for this when she gets out of prison! - I called out as I left the corridor

I laughed to myself, knowing that I had just started a fight.

- What?! - they asked at the same time

I hear them following me but I don't stop. I don't feel like having any talk. My opinion doesn't count anyway.

- She is crazy! - I told them and decided not to turn to them - Like totally sick! If I ever die, it will probably be because of her - I laughed again -This idiot snorted some shit and wanted to kill us by speeding up her car. Not a big deal right? I have to forgive her anyway because she's gonna be my wife!

I shouted the last sentence loudly and then I stopped and smiled. Dad caught up with me and gently turned me towards him. Mom doesn't seem angry anymore, maybe even worried a little. They glanced at each other and at me again.

- We'll take care of it - dad said and his face turned red with anger

- How?! - I asked meanly - You're the ones who got me into this! I told you what she was like and you didn't care.

- I thought you were fucking lying just to avoid the marriage! - he shouted

- Well, I wasn't!

- I'm starting to understand it! But God, Amber, why didn't you say anything then? You kept saying how great she was, so we believed it!

- Did she really abuse you? - mom asked

- Yeah, mentally. And now lately she has enjoyed giving me a slap in the face...Haven't you seen how much I changed when she started hanging out with me? And she hasn't changed a bit, she is the same as she was. Jill is just playing with us all!

My parents just looked at each other again and father nodded towards the hall leading to his office. Great. Mom also nodded and they headed in that direction without a word.

I threw my hands up and shook my head in disbelief. I showed my middle finger at them even though they can't see it. What a bastards... They pretend to be worried and suddenly leave?! What the fuck?!

I turned on my heel and nervously headed to my room. I need to fucking smoke. I pulled out my phone and checked my messages on the way. Party invitations, weak pick-up lines, something in the group chat, and a few from Tara. She sent first three hours ago and then one every hour.

the short one: is everything okay?
the short one: im worried
the short one: I shouldn't have let you go with her

the short one: amber?

the short one: please answer

I sighed heavily and opened the door to the room. I appreciate her concern, but it's making everything very difficult for me. I'd rather she didn't care. Then it would be easier.

I threw myself on the bed with my phone, thinking about what to reply.

me: im good, thank you

I'm looking at the chat and this fucking beautiful photo of her. I would like to tell her about what happened, but I don't know if I should let her be close to me. Jill is unpredictable, she showed it today. If she did something to Tara, I wouldn't forgive myself.

I made myself more comfortable in bed and stared at the ceiling. My attempt to calm down didn't last long as I heard the phone ring. When I looked at it, I saw it was Tara.

I picked it up without hesitation.

- Hi.

- Something happened? You disappeared for a few hours - she said in a sleepy voice

- Long story.

I'm not going to burden her with all this now, I don't want to talk about it myself. I'm still processing this whole situation in my head.

- I'm in no rush to go anywhere.

- Aren't you spending Saturday evening with our friends? - I asked confused - Anika invited everyone in the group.

- Chad is there with Liv and Anika is there with Mindy, so it's like a double date. There was no point for me to go...- she sighed - ...without you.

- So we're dating? - I asked provocatively and smiled

I know that's not what she meant, but I couldn't stop myself from saying this. Although the thought of us as a couple seems very nice, there's no chance of that.

- I just didn't want to be the third wheel.

I closed my eyes and pursed my lips. I wonder what it would all be like now if my parents hadn't made that stupid deal with Jill's parents. Would I be sitting at Anika's place right now, hugging Tara and laughing with the rest of my friends? Would Liv be throwing some innuendo at me and Mindy trying to convince ud to watch a 1970s slasher movie?

- Yeah, I understand - I said and fell silent

I started playing with the sheets with my fingers, waiting for the girl to say something. I don't know what I could tell her except that I love her. I'm so fucking helpless.

- What are you doing tonight? - she finally asked after a minute

She sounds kind of weird. Her voice is rough and she puts sentences together slowly.

- I don't know, I'll probably stay in bed. You?

Maybe an evening with someone would be nice, but I'm seriously exhausted.

- Probably too. Unless...would you like to go to them? With me?

- I'm really tired. I spent a few hours at the police station and I've had enough.

- What? What happened? - she asked and I heard some liquid pouring

- Jill happened.

- Has she done something to you?

- No. No, she was just driving too fast - I explained and clenched my jaw

Well, maybe that's not the whole truth. But why bother her with all this?.

I heard her swallow something and then the glass clinked like it hit the table.

- What an idiot...- I heard her groggy voice and I sighed - Plus she was high. It's good that nothing happened to you...

- Exactly...

- ...She's seriously fucked up, you know. I don't know how you can even keep giving her a chan...

- Tara are you drunk? - I asked before she could finish

- Nah. I drank one.

I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on the phone. I understand there's a lot going on, but she could try not to drink every time she feels bad. I don't want her to share her mother's fate.

- Maybe two.

Is she really drunk after two drinks?

- Where is Sam?

- With Danny.

- Put the bottle away Tara. You're too smart for that - I told her and got up to sit

I'll go to her so she won't be alone. This day wasn't very good for us, so maybe we can at least end it well.

I went into the bathroom and turned on the speaker. I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked to see how I look. All the mascara dripped onto my cheeks and the eyeliners stopped looking like lines at all. I have to fix all this before I go to her place. Although she's probably seen me in worse conditions over the years. For example, puked and drugged at a party.

- I'm not smart - Tara said and laughed

- You are - I decided to argue - I admire your ability to find the right words in every situation. And you're brave, you defend the people you love regardless of the consequences - I said and smiled even though she can't see it - You are truly amazing and I'm glad I got to meet this side of you.

I started washing my face while waiting for an answer. But nothing like that happened. There is silence on the other side. I frowned and felt stupid for saying all this. Despite the passage of time, I did not hang up. I was getting ready to leave, listening to Tara pouring herself probably some alcohol.

- I don't understand why you're telling me all this - she finally said something

- What you mean? - I asked confused and I looked in the mirror

I guess I'm ready.

- And what you mean?

- I just...- I started but stopped

I left the bathroom and went to the closet. I need to change into something more comfortable.

- What? What, Amber?

- Never mind.

What is she angry about all of a sudden?

- You tell me all this, give me those looks and then you don't want to be with me anyway! - she blurted out, gibberish

- What the hell?!

- If you want to be friends, act like a friend. Don't mess with my head, it's exhausting me!

- I thought we've been through this already! Don't be mad at me because you got drunk. I'm coming to you, I'll be there in twenty minutes.

I hung up and kicked the wardrobe. Why does everything always fucks up?

...

- Where are you going? - I heard my father as I walked towards my car

I turned to him and saw him standing and staring at the house while smoking a cigar. As usual, in a suit and with his hand in his pocket. You could say he looks respectable. I don't see him this way. To me he is just an unhappy, lost man with serious anger issues.

- I'm going to Tara.

- What is this?

I looked at the framed painting I was holding and sighed. I don't know why I'm taking it. Especially now when she's mad at me for something I have no control over.

Or am I in control? I don't know, not really. It's not money that I'm afraid of losing. I just feel like I have parents for the first time in a long time.

- I painted this for Tara. I want to give it to her.

- Is she...one of your girls? - he asked

He isn't looking at me, he's focused on the house again.

- No, dad. She's...my only girl. Well, she's not my girlfriend, but...- I swallowed hard, strangely stressed - I love her.

He just nodded and slowly turned to me.

- I'm glad you love her. She seems like a really good girl - he took a drag on his cigar and exhaled the smoke slowly - Samantha is doing a great job raising her. It's definitely not Christina's contribution.

- Yeah.

- You know, Amber...I am aware that I failed. I do. I'm sorry, kid.

I'm looking at him in shock, not knowing what to say. He moved towards me and stopped about a meter away. I am staring at him in surprise, because it's a situation I've never been in.

- Maybe I've never shown you this but, I love you - when he said this I lost the ability to breathe for a moment - When I found out you were in the hospital, I thought the ground had crumbled under my feet. You probably don't remember this, but I came right away and spent the whole night in your room, waiting for you to wake up. But when it finally happened, I called the doctors and ran away.

I clenched my jaw and transferred the painting to my other hand, feeling the first one sweat.

- Why? - I asked

- Because I didn't deserve to be the first person you saw.

- Why are you telling me this?

I am more and more confused. It just seems unreal.

- I don't know. Go to your friend, have fun. I'm sure she's gonna love this gift. I saw it in the library, it's beautiful.

He came up and kissed the top of my head, then moved towards the house. I stood there for a while, not understanding at all what had just happened.

...

Tara opened the door for me and immediately jumped into my arms. I wrapped one arm around her and buried my face in her hair.

- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I acted like that - she said and hugged me tighter - It's just that a lot happened today and I was drinking and...

- Hey, calm down. It's okay, I get it.

I just can't be mad at her.

- You sure? - she asked

- Yeah. Everyone gets emotional sometimes.

- I thought you were mad and I immediately got sober.

She moved away from me and looked at me with a smile. I smiled too and raised my hand to ruffle her hair. She looks so cute in that oversized shirt. Tara started fixing her hair and I licked my lips.

- It was a punishment and it's a gift - I said and held up the painting - Can I come in?

- Oh, right. Of course - she said and she moved aside so I could go in

When I entered and looked at the living room, I saw two empty wines. So they weren't drinks but bottles. It explains a lot.

- Would you like something to drink?

- It was probably enough for you, but you can pour me some wine.

- So you're staying for the night?

- I was thinking about calling a taxi, but staying overnight sounds cool too - I winked at her and I went to sit down on the couch

I placed the painting next to me and a moment later Tara joined me with a glass and a bottle of wine. She poured me a glass and handed it to me. I watched her throughout the entire process.

- So what kind of gift is this? - she asked

I drank the entire glass at once and reached for the wine to refill it.

- Painting - I said while taking another sip -The one I was supposed to paint for Art.

- Show me! - she exclaimed excitedly

I finished my wine and I sat closer so we could both see. I took the painting and turned it right side up. I really hope she will like it. I put my heart into it, even though I didn't know yet that I would fall in love with her.

I looked at Tara and saw her blush. It's a good sign, isn't it?

- It's beautiful - she said and ran her finger across the frame - What does it mean? It was meant to represent my soul.

- Well, it does. Look, this is gonna be fucking cheesy but whatever - I shook my head - So there is fire everywhere. Don't take it personally, but it was meant to show the chaos between us, especially chaos our heads...

She tucked her legs under her and rested her head on my shoulder. I didn't tense up for this action this time, because that's how it should be.

- ...In the center, as a focal point, is a butterfly on a flower. The fire doesn't reach them, they block it. This is a Peony and this symbolizes courage. You, on the other hand, are the bravest person I know. And you are my hope to survive this chaos, this surrounding fire. The butterfly is a symbol of affection and subtlety. That's totally you. This is how I see you. You never gave up, you fight till the end and you can be so...lovely and caring in all this.

- God, Amber I don't even know what to say.

- You don't have to say anything. I think I need more wine.

She took the painting from me and started looking at it. I leaned over and filled the glass. I drank it quickly under stress.

- I love it Amber. And I love you - she said and I gripped the glass tighter

- I love you too - I replied without looking at her

I'm staring at the wall, not wanting to turn back to the girl.

- You did a great job with this painting - she put it on the table and put her hand on my shoulder - Wesley would give you an A+ if he saw this. And I like the way you represented me. You're the only person who really knows me. You are the best thing that happened to me. You are no chaos or fire in my life. You're like that butterfly, you bring peace and tenderness here. My life was incomplete without you, Amber.

I felt tears in my eyes. I have always been considered a bitch and a worthless drug addict and she sees me in the best way possible.

She pulled my arm to turn to her, but I protested. I can't look at her. If I look at her, I will break. Then I can't stand it and kiss her.

- Hey, look at me - she said

I put the glass down and felt a tear roll down my cheek.

- Amber...

She slid off the couch and knelt on the floor in front of me.

- Don't hide your feelings.

- Sorry - I apologized and wiped a tear away

- Hey.

She smiled and put her hands on my knees. I placed my hands on top of hers and finally looked at her.

- I just really want to kiss you but I don't want to make it all harder - I explained

- I know. And one of things I love about you is that you want the best for people. But you won't hurt me by kissing me. This deal with Jill must be hard for you, but let's not abandon what we have while we still have it.

She rose higher and took my face in her hands.

- Can I? - she asked, looking into my eyes

I'm looking into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes, full of desire. I see in them the love she has for me.

- Yes - I said

She leaned down and slowly connected our lips in a short, tender kiss. I grabbed her waist and ran my finger along it. She moved away a little, but our foreheads are still touching. I feel her breath, the warm air hitting my lips.

- I love you - I told her and kissed her again

Longer this time. After a while, I pulled her up by her hips so that we both landed on the couch.

- I love you too.

I ran my tongue across her lip and she let me enter with it. I feel her body under me, her legs wrapped around me, refusing to let me go. I can hear her breathing and soft moaning.

- I'm afraid I won't be able to stop - I said after a while

- I don't want you to stop.

- I want to make love with you - I whispered into her mouth

- I also want it.

I rose so that her legs fell onto the couch and I took off my blouse. She sat down and started unbuttoning my pants. I smiled happily and Tara blew me a kiss while she was moving my zipper down.

I pushed her to lie down and grabbed the button of her shirt to unbutton it. I did it slowly, button by button, looking into her eyes. I uncovered her bra and gently squeezed her breasts. Tara got up a little to take off her shirt completely. She threw it somewhere behind her.

I leaned in and kissed her deeply. She kissed me back and slipped her hand down my pants to touch me through my underwear. At one point I moaned because my excitement had reached its peak. I lowered my mouth to her neck and sucked into it.

- You always know how to please me - she said and that turned me on even more

I put my hand under her back and undid her bra.

- Because you're the only one who makes me feel this way - I told her

I put my hand under her bra to push it away from her breasts. I licked her nipple and started sucking it while unbuttoning her pants with my other hand. Suddenly she ran her hand under my underwear.

- Can I?

- Yes.

She inserted her finger into me and started moving it slowly to get me used to it. I did the same with her. I placed my other hand on the couch, near her head to steady myself. I finger her while riding her fingers. I closed my eyes in pleasure, feeling Tara getting wetter and wetter because of me. Our moans are getting louder, I feel my heart beating fast.

- God, I love you - she gasped and her fingers sped up

- You're my everything.

I leaned in to kiss her and as our lips touched, the door to the house opened. Tara screamed in fear and automatically pushed me off of her. I lost my balance and fell to the floor, hitting my head on a hard surface. I quickly got up, dazed, and saw Sam standing in front of the door.

Tara grabbed her unbuttoned bra and held her breasts in it.

- The fuck? - Sam asked and looked at us

I glanced at Tara in fear and she looked at me. I looked back at Sam and her furious face. I'm fucked.

- She won't get mad, she knows about us - Tara whispered to me

- Then why did she pick up an umbrella? - I whispered back

- What? - she asked

- You're dead Freeman! - Sam shouted and started walking towards me with her new weapon in hand

- No! No! Wait! - Tara said and I started to run

I jumped over the couch and ran upstairs, clumsily trying to zip up my pants.

- Stop fucking my sister in my house! - Sam shouted running after me

- She was fucking me too!

- Can you both calm down?! - Tara asked

I ran into Tara's room, hoping to lock myself in here until Sam calmed down. When I saw that there was no lock on the door, I squealed with fear.

- Fuck, fuck, fuck!

- I'm gonna kill you! - Sam shouted

I quickly ran to the window and opened it. When the girl opened the door, I was already holding on to the gutter. When I saw that she was running towards me, I quickly slid down. When I was on the ground I looked up at Sam and Tara immediately joined her.

- I love you, Tara! - I said to her and I buttoned my pants - See you at school!

I quickly ran towards the car, shirtless and without dignity.

- What the...- said some boy I passed by on the side walk