When I woke up I felt weak. My mouth is burning and it feels like my teeth are about to fall out of my gums. My poor left side of face. God it feels like my jaw has shifted.

— Are you ok warrior? — Liv asked when I sat on bed

She is sitting next to me and she's scrolling through instagram. I slept at Liv's because I didn't want my parents asking questions. They would rather laugh at me and call me names but whatever. They wouldn't worry.

My visit to Tara yesterday didn't go so well. I regret it very much. So fucking much. This is the reason why I have a bruised face and fucked up mood. This bruise will be with me for at least a few days. The fucking Carpenter family...

— Tara was texting you all night.

My eyes winded and I took my phone fast. She really did. Wow. I rather expected that she wouldn't say anything to me again.

— You read my messages? — I asked Liv

— No, I saw the notifications from "the short one" which was obvious. Each at a different time. What she wants?

Wasn't she be busy with her date?

— I don't care. Maybe I will answer or maybe I won't. She's annoying.

— You got close. Until yesterday I guess — Liv laughed

I told her about what what happened. Not about everything of course but about fight. I love that she didn't try convince me to say more. That's why she's my best friend. She always listens, but doesn't expect me to tell her everything. Liv respects that I have my secrets.

I unlocked my phone and checked conversation. Tara deleted every single message. Amazing.

...

{Tuesday, day before}

Tara hasn't been to school and I haven't heard from her since Saturday. It's understandable that she didn't talk to me, but she literally disappeared. Mindy and the rest also had no contact with her. I'm pretty sure it's because of me, so I was the one who decided to check on her. Even though I don't really want to, I should do it. We had sex, and now she doesn't reply to anyone's messages and doesn't show up at school. It's a bit disturbing.

And that's how I ended up standing outside Carpenters house. What if she is just afraid to go to school because of me? Because of what happened at the party? I don't want to make a fuss out of this so I'll just talk to her. We're sober, so we don't like each other again, but I hope she will let me say something.

I tensed and sighed. Okay. I can do this. Easy Amber. Just ask her or anyone from her family if she's fine. That's all.

It's not the conversation that scares me, but rather the thought of who will open the door for me. Christina might not let me in and Sam might slam the door as soon as she saw me.

I quickly rang the doorbell so as not to change my mind. Can i still run away? If Sam opens the door then I just need to tell her that me and her little sister have to talk. I hope she let me.

The door opened and a beautiful old woman I had seen so many times before is standing there. She reeks of alcohol and wobbles slightly. I winced a little. The sight in front of me is just sad. It's about two o'clock in the afternoon and the Christina is barely standing. I believed it was over.

— What? — she asked

— Is Tara here?

— Unfortunately.

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms. What was that supposed to mean?

She let me in and she get back to the couch. I stood and looked around. Empty bottles of wine are everywhere. One big damage. I didn't have an idea that Tara lives like that.

I mean yes, I knew her mom was an alcoholic. I saw it with my own eyes and heard it. But that was about 4 years ago, I thought she had changed. The addiction center and therapy were supposed to help her. Maybe addicts really have no chance of changing. That sucks. I really thought she would make it. Especially since Tara was sent back here.

— Is Sam here? — I asked

— Yes. Are you here for her or...

— No, no. Just wondering. Which room is Tara's?

The woman did not answer me. Instead, she lifted the bottle to her lips. So that's it. Fuck it. I don't want to go all over the house looking for Tara...

— Mom who was there?!

I heard the girl asking and now I hear footsteps on the stairs. I swallowed and turned to the stairs. When Tara saw me, her eyes got wider and she stopped moving. She looked around the house, then her eyes landed on me again. She isn't happy that I'm here. She's probably feeling ashamed that I see it all.

— Hi — I said calmly and tried to smile

— Get the fuck out Amber — she said and went to grab my arm

I broke free from her grip.

— Hey, calm down. I want to talk.

— There's nothing we could talk about! Go away.

She wanted to push me out the door but I didn't let her. Doesn't she know I'm taller, weigh more and have much more strength?

— There's a lot actually.

I'm staring at her, hoping we'll talk anyway. I mean, it's weird that she decided to cut everyone off. I want to know the reason.

— Jesus, fine.

She took my hand and started dragging me upstairs. Tara looked around before we walked out into the hallway. I guess she doesn't want Sam to see me. Me either.

We quickly went to her room. Tara closed the door and leaned on them. As I stood and looked around her room, I remembered how I woke up here. It was a shock that me and her did it. Now I see Tara for the first time since the last party. This time I remember everything that happened. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol, her delicate skin and her moans. The way her body arched with pleasure.

— Don't tell anyone, Amber — she said nervous — About what you just saw. Please.

— I won't. Don't worry.

Tara nodded while staring me in the eyes. I moved closer and sighed. Tara bit the inside of her cheek, waiting for me to say something.

— Am I the reason you avoid everyone?

Tara laughed and rolled her eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I don't get it.

— What's so funny?

— Do you really have such a big ego that you think it's about you? — Tara asked

— We are just worried about that...

— "We"?

She asked mockingly. Maybe this time I wasn't the problem.

— Others — I corrected myself and scratched the back of my neck — The group...

— Yeah everyone is worried but they didn't show up to check on me. They texted me...once I guess? I can't believe they sent you to me.

I thought they were more interested.

— I came up with it myself. I was really worried that I have done something wrong.

— A lot? I didn't forget Amber.

— I know but I meant the last party.

— Ohh don't act like you care what the fuck is going on with me right now! — she shouted and punch my arm

— Didn't hurt — I said with straight face

Tara hit me again, harder this time.

— What the fuck?! — I asked

She started punching my arms with her fists and I am trying to stop her somehow without hurting her.

— Tara, calm down... Stop it!

— You are ruining my life since I came back to Woodsboro!

— Girl, calm down! Why did you suddenly freak out?

Tara doesn't listen to me. She's just trying to punch me. What the hell happened to her? How can I calm her down?!

— Carpenter chill out or i'll fucking kill you! — I shouted

I grabbed her arms and pinned her to the wall so she couldn't move. She tries to free herself, she won't let go.

— I hate you Amber!

At that point, I released her and let her push me to the floor. Today I took her words differently. It just sounded different. I tensed up and looked down at the floor.

— I get it — I said calmly — Get over it.

— What? A fucking "get over it"?!

She attacked me on the floor, so I grabbed her and flipped her over so she was under me. I held her arms above her head with one hand. The other one is on Tara's neck.

— Stop starting you idiot! You have no fucking chance with me!

She has calmed down and is now looking at me with tears in her eyes. I got very mad. She thinks she can yell at me? Hit me? No. I'm only afraid to stand up to my father. I won't let anyone else humiliate me. Especially her.

— You say you hate me and on friday you were desperate for me to touch you! Does Wes know you like vaginas? — I laughed with anger — Pissed me off again and everyone will know. And not only about that. I'd love to brag about Saturday fucking. The way you ran back to me even after I rejected you and that you screamed my name when you...

— Amber, stop! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have attacked you...

— What, honey? Are you scared now?

I loosened my grip and got up. Tara got up to sit, pulled her knees to her chest and began to cry. I don't feel good about scaring her, but I can't let her do whatever she wants to me. Besides, she hates me, so I don't care. But I wonder what's on her mind. Once again she cries in my presence. I'm not going to comfort her this time. No way. She crossed the line.

— Fuck you! I don't understand why I was even interested in what's going on with you. You're not worth it!

I walked over to the door and when I opened it, I saw what I didn't want to see. Sam Carpenter in front of me.

— I heard a screams — she said

She looked over my shoulder and saw Tara.

— What the fuck did you do to her?!

— Nothi...

I didn't finish my speech because Sam punched me hard in the face. With pain and a broken lip, I fell down next to Tara. The girl quickly got closer and put her hand on my arm. She looked at me worried which made me annoyed. I pulled away from her and turned onto my back. Sam came over, grabbed my hoodie and lifted me up to stand.

— Sam don't do anything to her! — Tara shouted

I got away from Sam and I started dodging her punches. That bitch is crazy. They both are! It's in their blood.

— Sam please! — Tara stand up and tried to catch her sister's hand — Leave her alone!

— You were supposed to stay the fuck away from my sister!

It's her sister running after me. I'm happy to stay away, one less problem in my life.

— You're not her lawyer! And you have no rights to tell me what to do!

— You're just a junkie! All you can do is manipulate and lie!

My nerves are at their peak. When Sam tried to hit me, I grabbed her hand and kicked her hard in the stomach with my knee.

— Sam! — Tara screamed

— Need I remind you what put me on drugs?!— I asked completely mad

— What? — younger girl asked

Sam's eyes widened when she realized that Tara had heard it. Good. I hit the point.

— Amber...— my biggest enemy said through the pain

— You and her started it for me! You ruined my life Sam! I think you remember what I caught you doing in the kitchen. And what you told that  night! — I said — You better leave me alone Samantha!

She is still holding her stomach. And why did she start? For what? What did it achieve?

I laughed and shook my head. Tara is looking at me, then at Sam, then at me again. This girl knows nothing. She has no idea about Sam's life here. She lived far away with her father, not caring about older sister and mother.

I'll gladly tell the fuck everything and start a ruckus. I'm too tired lately to deal with Sam again.

— Shut the fuck up Amber! Don't say anything more...

— I'm the one in charge here, not you anymore, do you understand?! Me! The last word is mine! You, should be scared, not me!

— What the fuck is going on between you both?! — Tara asked confused

It's obvious that she is angry and confused. She knows nothing.

— Ask your sis.

Sam just got up from the floor and silently left the room. Of course she runs away like she always does when things get tough.

— Amber what you meant? — Tara asked calmly

— Suddenly you can talk to me with normal tone?!

— I'm sorry. I was...sad. And mad. I felt that it all meant nothing to you. That you don't care even a little. And then you saw my mom and...

— It doesn't matter.

It went quiet again and Tara sat up on the bed. I am looking at her, analyzing everything that happened between us.

— Help you put a patch on your lip? — she asked

What the fuck? Why does her mood change so quickly?

— Tara stop it. You will not extort information from me.

— I just wanted to help you.

— Why are you like that? You keep talking about how you hate me and tell me to fuck off, and then boom you want to help me and fuck with me? Pick a side Carpenter. It's starting to get boring!

I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms. I can feel the blood dripping from my lip, that metallic taste. This was my last visit to this house.

— I don't know how to explain it okay?! We've been terrible to each other for a long time and now we've been stuck in each other's lives lately. It's just hard to understand it Amber. I want to hate you and keep you away from me, but at the same time I fucking need you near me!

I'm just standing here and I don't know what to say. She surprised me with that. I look at her, thinking about a good answer.

— If you want to fuck with me just say.

— Jesus Amber!

— I don't know what to say! And it's also weird to me. But I just want to you know that...

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. We both turn to see who's this. When the door opened, Wes came to the room with a flower in his hand.

— Amber? — he asked

It must be shocking to him that I'm standing in Tara's room with blood on my face.

— Wes — I said

— Um...Tar? — he asked confused

— Tar? — I asked myself

— Wes... — Tara don't know what to say

— Why aren't you ready for a date?

I raised my eyebrows and turned to Tara with a look of disgust. She looked me in the eyes and clenched her jaw.

— I'll be ready soon Wes.

What the hell? Did she really agreed to go on date with him?

— Are you a couple? — I asked with a sweet fake smile

— We haven't named it yet, but there's been tension between us for two years — Wes said happy — And you know, we kissed few times last week.

— That's...shocking.

Tara looks scared. She's probably afraid that I'll tell him what happened between us. This could be good revenge for the way she treated me today.

— I know — he smiled

— Okey, I should leave. So, have a nice date — I said

I went to the door and stand next to Wes.

— Oh wait! You have to remember to suffocate her when you fuck her, she likes it.

— Amber stop it! — Tara screamed

Wes laughed and looked at me.

— And how do you know this? — he asked with a smile

It will be nice to spoil his attitude.

— I fucked her twice.

His smile faded. I looked Tara in the eyes and smiled mischievously. She has put her hand over her mouth, incredibly pissed off and shocked.

— Just kidding. She's yours.

I patted his shoulder and looked at Tara one last time. She felt relieved and closed her eyes. I left her room and then her house. A got in car and I'm driving fast somewhere far away from this girl. Turns out I don't know her at all. Even a little, actually.