( ABANDON ALL HOPE )

HIGHWAY
[ ☼ ]

      Overhead view of several highways crossing each other. Underneath the lowest of these highways. An Old Man gets out of an expensive car, digs a hole in the dirt and gravel, buries a box, and stands up. "Mr. Pendleton, I presume." A familiar voice says. Pendleton turns around to see a Man who wasn't there before. "Name's Crowley."

      "In my negotiations I was, uh, dealing with a very young, attractive, uh, lady." Says Pendleton.

      "Yes. I know. But you, piggy bank, you are a big fish, and I wanted to do you the honor of sealing this deal personally." Crowley says.

      "She said the deal would be sealed with a kiss."

      "That's right." Crowley says as Pendleton stares. He grins.

      "No, I mean, she said-I don't-" Starts Pendleton.

      "Your choice. You can cling to six decades of deep-seated homophobia, or give it up and get a complete bailout for your bank's ridiculous incompetence." Crowley is up in Pendleton's personal space now.

      "There are just things that I-"

      "Going once." Crowley interrupts.

      "I don't think so-"

      "Going twice."

      "All right! All right." Pendleton says as Crowley pulls him in. "No-" Crowley kisses him anyway. Castiel is observing from a distance, on the phone.

      "Got him."

OVERPASS
[ ☼ ]

      Crowley releases Pendleton. Castiel speaks into the phone. "The demon Crowley is making a deal; even as we speak, it's-going-down." Castiel says.

LAKESIDE
[ ☼ ]

      Dean is on the phone. Sam and Elena lean against the car, back to Dean. "Going down? Right. Okay, Huggy Bear, just don't lose him." Dean says as Sam turns to look at Dean.

      "I won't lose him." Castiel says.

UNDERPASS
[ ☼ ]

      "Damn you." Pendleton turns to walk back to his car.

      "Enjoy the obscene wealth. See you in ten years." Crowley fiddles with a cell phone while he walks, then vanishes. Castiel follows him, vanishing as well.

MANSION
[ ☼ ]

      Castiel is still on the phone. "I followed him. It's not far, but-it's layered in Enochian warding magic. I can't get in." He say.

      "That's okay, you did great. We'll take it from here." Dean says.

MANSION
[ ☼ ]

      Crowley pours himself a drink with lemon and watches a black-and-white film involving Nazis. A Young Woman in evening dress approaches the gate and presses a button on the intercom. "Hello?" The Intercom says.

       "Hello. My car broke down. I-I need some help." She says.

       "I'll be down in a minute." The Young Woman turns around to wait; it's Jo Harvelle. The gate swings open and two men approach.

       "Evening, pretty lady. Get yourself on in here." One Man says.

      "I just need to make a call." Jo says.

       "You don't need to call anyone, baby." He glances back at his partner.

      "We're the only help you're ever gonna need." The Other Man says.

      "You know what? I think I should wait by my car." Jo turns to go.

      The First Man grabs her shoulder; his eyes go black. "We said, get your ass in here." He says. Jo shakes him loose and flattens him. The Second Man is stabbed through the neck with what must be Ruby's knife; Sam is holding it. He stabs the First Man too.

      "Nice work, Jo." Dean says.

      "Thanks." Jo says. Dean hands Jo a bag. She pulls out wire cutters. "Okay. Shall we?"

      Crowley is still watching his film when the electricity cuts out. He leaves the room. "It's Crowley, right?" Sam asks.

      "So. The Hardy Boys finally found me. Took you long enough." Crowley says. Sam is holding Ruby's knife and Dean a shotgun. Jo is not in sight. "Nice seeing you again, Elena."

      Dean looks at Elena. "You know him?" He asks.

      "He was the one that got me out of Hell." Elena says. "But I guess that was for his own intentions." She sneers.

      Crowley approaches, stopping when he sees his rug is rumpled. He looks underneath; a devil's trap has been drawn on the bottom of the rug. "Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?" He asks. Two Men grab Sam and Dean from behind, disarming them and pinning their arms. He holds up the Colt. "This is it, right? This is what it's all about." Crowley aims the gun at Dean, then adjusts his aim and shoots both Men.

      "What the-" Elena starts.

      "We need to talk. Privately." Crowley leads Dean, Elena and Sam into another room.

      "What the hell is this?" Dean asks.

      "Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?" Crowley waves a hand; the door slams shut. "There's no reason you or anyone should know this even exists, except that I told you."

      "You told us." Sam says.

      "Rumors, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine." Crowley says.

      "Why? Why tell us anything?" Sam asks.

      Crowley aims at Dean again. "I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face." He says.

      "Uh-huh, okay, and why exactly would you want the devil dead?" Elena asks.

       "It's called-" Crowley puts the gun down. "Survival. Well, I forgot you two at best are functioning morons-"

       "You're functioning...morons..." Dean says.

       "Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? He's an angel. An angel famous for his hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus." Says Crowley. "If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?"

      "But he created you." Sam says.

      "To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next." Crowley says. "So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil?" He holds out the Colt, handle first. Dean and Sam glance at each other. Crowley wiggles the gun.

       Sam hesitantly reaches out to take it. "Great." He says.

      "Great." Crowley repeats.

      "You wouldn't happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?" Sam asks.

      "Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri." Crowley says.

      Sam glances at Dean and nods. "Great." He puts the barrel between Crowley's eyes and pulls the trigger. It clicks. Sam stares, surprised; Crowley stares back, impassive.

      "Oh, yeah, right, you'll probably need some more ammunition." Crowley goes into his desk.

       "Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?" Dean asks.

       "Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!" Crowley throws something at Dean, who catches and opens it; bullets for the Colt. Dean looks up; Crowley's gone. Sam sighs.

BOBBY'S HOUSE
[ ☾]

      Five full shot glasses in a row next to a row of three upside-down shot glasses, a gap, and a full shot glass. Another glass is placed upside-down in the gap. Jo drinks from a beer bottle. Ellen drains the fifth and puts it back upside-down. "All right, big boy." Elena says.

      "Well." Castiel drains all five of his in a row. Ellen stares. "I think I'm starting to feel something." Jo gawks and grins.

      Sam, Elena and Dean are sitting at opposite sides of Bobby's desk, both with beer bottles. "It's gotta be a trap, right?" Sam asks.

      "Sam Winchester, having trust issues with a demon. Well, better late than never." Dean says.

      "Thank you again for your continued support." Sam says sarcastically.

      "You're welcome." Dean says. They clink bottles and drink. "You know, trap or no trap, we got a snowball's chance, we gotta take it, right?"

       "Yeah, I suppose." Sam says.

      "Besides, I'm not sure it is a trap. Check it out. I mean, Carthage is lit up like a Christmas tree with Revelation omens. And look at this." Dean pushes some papers at Sam and Elena. "There's been six missing persons reported, in town, since Sunday. I think the devil's there."

      "Okay." Elena says.

      "Look, when you think about it...you guys can't come with." Dean says.

      Sam rolls his eyes. "Dean." He says.

      "Look, I go against Satan and screw the pooch, okay. We've lost a game piece. That we can take. But if you're there, then we are handing the devil's vessel and his girlfriend right over to him. That's not smart."

      "Since when have we ever done anything smart?" Asks Elena.

      "I'm serious, Lena." Dean says.

      "So am I." Elena says. "Haven't we learned a damn thing? If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together." Dean and Sam look at each other for a long moment and then at Elena.

      Dean looks away first. "Okay. But it's a stupid frigging idea." He looks past Sam, attention caught by Castiel, Ellen, and Jo. Sam looks too.

      "Boy, talk about stupid ideas." Sam says.

       "Good God. True, that." Dean gets up and goes over to the refrigerator, where Jo is rummaging, rear end prominent. She turns around and Dean is right there. "Hey."

     "Hey."

      "So. Dangerous mission tomorrow. Guess it's time to eat, drink, and, you know, make merry." Says Dean.

      "Are you giving me the last-night-on-earth speech?" Jo asks.

      "What?"

       "What?" Jo repeats.

       "No." Dean says. They laugh. "If I was, would, uh, would that work?"

      Jo leans in for a kiss, but stops at the last moment. "No. Sweetheart, if this is our last night on earth, then I'm going to spend it with a little thing I call self-respect." She laughs and leaves.

      "If you're into that kind of thing." Dean says.

      "Everybody get in here! It's time for the lineup. Usual suspects in the corner." Bobby says.

      Sam comes in, then Ellen. "Oh come on, Bobby. Nobody wants their picture taken." Ellen says.

      "Hear, hear." Sam says.

      "Shut up. You're drinking my beer." Says Bobby. Castiel enters while Bobby finishes fiddling with a camera on a tripod. Bobby rolls his wheelchair back. "Anyway, I'm gonna need something to remember your sorry asses by." Everyone is in the room now, getting in position for the picture, smiling.

      "Ha! Always good to have an optimist around." Ellen says.

      "Bobby's right. Tomorrow we hunt the devil. This is our last night on earth." Castiel says. The smiles disappear. The camera flashes.