The sun began coming up behind the trees in the backyard, shining their light over the books that surrounded me with far-off places and adventures that I would never go on. Not that I needed any further adventures. I have had enough to last me an entire lifetime at this point in my life, and the biggest plot twist was just here on my doorstep.

I could not sleep for a single minute, and still I did not feel tired. It was not that I was in a new place, or that I could hear the light snoring coming from Mr. van Leer's room. It wasn't even the fact that the duvet I was sleeping under felt scratchy and just a little bit too new to my liking.

It was Blake...

I could see his beat up face in front of me. I could see the broken nose and the blood and the hair sticking to his forehead. Asking for help without saying a word or moving a muscle. Ready to enter eternity to make sure that I would be safe. To make sure that I knew that he loved me more than life itself. I could not sleep because those images crept up and curled up in bed next to me.

At the same time it was like he was alive with me in the room I was laying in. I could feel his arms creeping up my sides to comfort me in the warmth of his embrace. I could feel his breath on my neck. I could hear the sweet songs that he sang not that long ago, serenading me in a private concert. I could feel his presence so strongly that I thought he would appear right beside my bed and tell me that it was all just a long and bad dream.

"Elijah?"

The knock on the door came just before I heard my name in a husky and sleepy voice.

"Yes?" I answered. There wasn't any point in pretending that I was sleeping in any case.

"There's someone on the line for you. A woman called Llaluna," Mr. van Leer said through the door, not daring to come in.

"Llaluna?" I had to ask. I was sitting upright within seconds.

"Yes. Do you know her?" he asked.

"It's Blake's mother," I answered and with that I pulled the t-shirt over my head that I discarded on the floor before the bed before I went to bed. It still smelled like Mr. van Leer but this time it didn't bother me at all. I needed to speak to Llaluna, and I needed to do it as soon as possible.

A hundred different scenarios sped through my head as I yanked open the door and sped past a shirtless Mr. van Leer, gaping after me with big eyes.

Could it be that she had called because Blake has woken up and wants to see me? Or maybe she wanted to come and get me from Mr. van Leer so I could sit and worry with her while we waited for news on Blake? Could it be that she was blaming me and wanted to give me a good telling off, which I think I probably do deserve after what Blake went through for me?

"Hallo?" I asked nervously into the speaker of the phone that sat waiting for me on the coffee table in the lounge. I didn't even know that there was still people who preferred landlines to cellphones, but here I was holding a telephone that was still connected to a cord. Even in my nervousness I made a mental note to tell Mr. van Leer that Noah wants his telephone back.

"Elijah?" She said it with a stutter, which seemed very unlike her nature.

"Yes Llaluna? Is Blake okay?" I just needed to know.

"I know it wasn't your fault," Llaluna said on the other side of the line. Then there was silence.

I had no idea what to reply to that. Was there anything left to say? Did it mean that she didn't blame him for what happened to Blake or did that just mean that she knows it was my father and that I was probably still guilty of murder?

"Hmmm..." I heard Llaluna on the other side of the phone and still I didn't know what to say to her.

"Thanks." The feeble word didn't say much, but I hoped that somehow she might just understand.

"Blake is in a coma," she said, her voice sounding much stronger all of a sudden.

"I know," I answered.

"The doctors said... The doctors s-s-said..."

She broke. I could hear her breaking. It was a sound I was used to. I was used to hearts falling down to the ground and shattering into a thousand pieces, never to be glued back together again. Something deep inside me wanted to repeat the words that Blake had said to me above the apple orchid. "Let me glue you." Instead I heard myself saying; "He's dying isn't he?"

"Y-y-yes..." Llaluna choked on the other side.

I could see the shadow of Mr. van Leer throwing over the floor, which meant that he was standing right around the corner, listening to every single word I was saying to Llaluna. Making his own observation and guessing what she was saying from the other side by listening to what I was saying. And still it did not bother me. I knew now that Blake was dying. I knew I felt calm. I was collected. It was happening somewhere inside my head and that meant that it wasn't real. It was all just a dream, and I needed to act it out, because the sooner I could act it out completely, the sooner it would all be over. My job was now just to play along until the dream ended.

"Can I see him?"

"Y-y-yes..." the choking sound of her tears sounded worse with every letter that came from her body.

"Now?"

"Better s-s-sooner t-t-than later..." the answer came to me.

"Thank you Llaluna," I said as I lowered the telephone from my ear, not knowing what there was to say anymore.

Mr. van Leer must have known what I had done, because before I had the opportunity to put the telephone on the table and leave the room, he was there right next to me, taking the phone from my hand, as I calmly walked off toward what was my borrowed room.

I could hear him talking, probably to Llaluna, but I wasn't concerned with anything that they could say anymore. I needed to get dressed. I needed to look good. I needed to be perfect for the moment I see Blake once more.

Between all the clothing that smelled so much like Mr. van Leer I found a shirt that I knew Blake would love. It wasn't a band t-shirt, but it had a red Superman logo printed on the front. Maybe it would make him feel better having a hero standing in front of his bed. Not that I could have been considered a hero by any means, but I could try. He has always been strong for me, and not it was my turn to be strong and help him pull through the darkness that was trying to consume him. Or maybe it was light? Maybe he was walking into a light and I had to pull him back into the darkness? But then again. This was all just a dream. One I was acting out so that it could end as soon as possible. Wasn't that the entire idea of a dream? That nothing in it was really real?

I jumped a bit when I heard the door open behind me. Mr. van Leer was still without a shirt and his hair was all messy. I wanted to tell him to get dressed so that we could go, but something held me back, allowing him to sit on the end of the bed, while I started busying myself with my hair, trying to look my very best for Blake.

"Elijah... I don't think it's a good idea for you to see Blake. You have been through enough in the last twenty-four hours," Mr. van Leer said, trying to catch my eyes in the mirror, but I avoided them. There was no way that he was going to tell me what to do and what not to do. I was seeing Blake and that was all there was to it. So I ignored him and continued getting ready.

"Elijah? Can you hear me?" he asked, waiting for an answer, but still I ignored him.

"I really want to help you. I took you in because I felt that I could maybe help you, but if you want me to help me, you need to talk to me as well," Mr. van Leer said, a frown appearing on his face.

"I'm almost ready. Can you take me?" I answered, still not making eye contact.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Mr. van Leer asked, the frown growing deeper.

"Obviously," I answered. "But I am going to see Blake. I haven't slept and I won't sleep until I have seen him."

"You know he's not awake right? He won't even know you are there," Mr. van Leer said.

"It doesn't matter. He needs me there," I said with a heavy swallow. The last thing I needed was to start crying now. Then he would never let me go and see Blake. He would think that I am fragile.

"Elijah... You need to understand. I spoke to Blake's mother. He won't know that it's you. It's only machines keeping him alive. His brain has already switched off. There's nothing you can do for him. Why don't you try and get some sleep and we can revisit the idea of you going to see him in another twenty-four hours."

I could hear the sympathy in his voice. It was the same voice people used when my mother told them that she was divorced. That she was a single mother now. That yes, she had a mute son to raise, all by herself. I hated that sound. It was the sound that said 'sorry that you are going through a rough time, but I sure as hell am glad that I'm not you. Actually I am very glad it is you and not me.'

"I'm seeing Blake. Are you taking me or should I walk?" I answered. There was no way that I was accepting no for an answer.

"I don't think you should..."

I didn't give Mr. van Leer time to finish his answer.

"I need to see him okay!" I screamed as I spun around to meet his eyes. "It's my fault that he is laying there in that hospital bed, and before I talk to him I will never ever be able to sleep ever again! Can't you fucking get that!?"

Mr. van Leer's eyes widened at my screaming. He had barely heard me talking before, let alone screaming or cursing. I had cursed at my teacher and it took every single muscle in my body tensing up to make sure that tears didn't start streaming over my face. But I would not let that happen. I will not cry. Because none of this is really true. This is nothing but a dream. One I needed to act out if I ever wanted to get to the happiness and the light that was waiting for me on the other side of it.

"I'll take you," Mr. van Leer said, and without a further word he left the room, probably to go and put on a shirt so that he could drive me to see a person he obviously thought was already dead.

A/N: I would like to announce that there will only be 3 more chapters before Elijah and Blake's story will come to a close. Not long then we will know how it all ends. The last three chapters will be revealed in the next week. So buy some tissues, you just might be in for an emotional roller-coaster. Once again thank you to everybody that's still reading, voting and sharing this story, especially since I have been very unregular with updating. This will be something of the past now, and besides that, we only have three more chapters to go. Thank you all for sticking with me and the boys for so long!