CHAPTER 34:
Change.
Hawk

"I didn't think you were going to do it," Tory commented.

"Guess you've finally let go of her."

"Quinn?" I questioned, "why would she have anything to do with this?"

"She's part of the Miyagi-Dos. I know you had a crush on her, but be realistic. She's too soft for a Cobra," She patted my shoulder before leaving the dojo.

Too soft?

She's the exact opposite of that.

I remember the day before the counselor made that stupid announcement about bullying. I was crying and hated that my mom called them, and appeared she called Quinn. Quinn closed my door and closed my curtains, just like always, and held me as I cried. She's always put her own feelings aside just for my mental health, even at the cost of her own.

I remembered when she told me she liked me. I wanted to say it back but I'm prideful, and I knew that if any of my Cobra Kais heard me then they'd run straight to Moon.

I slumped against the wall.

Is it my fault?

Did I push her too hard?

I have to try.

Just one more time.

____________

My original plan was to go to the hospital that I knew Demetri was in to ask if he'd help me.

But instead, I almost ran into an important conversation.

"I never liked keeping it from you guys, but I always felt like you would judge me. That I'd lose you," Quinn expressed, fiddling with my fingers and Demetri put his hand on her shoulder.

She always does that when she's nervous.

"You could never lose me. Not even if you tried."

"You know my father, Jesse?"

He's dead, isn't he?

From some domestic violence cases.

"He was the best father. He always took me to get chicken nuggets every Friday after school, and he always stayed with me when I had a nightmare. But I started to look at him differently when I walked in and he was. . ." I leaned in closer to the wall.

"He was beating my mom. I had never seen him look so angry, and I wanted to tell him to stop b-because she's my mom. She would never hurt anyone unless they hurt her first, so I was scared. . .and then he. . .he saw me and I ran to my room. For weeks, I felt like I was walking on eggshells with him. That-that one little mistake might set him off. But it turns out that she wanted a divorce because she realized she was gay, a-and he. . .he raped her. Tried to make the gay go away."

He what?!

To Miss. Moore?!

But she's always so badass and nice.

"Oh my god," Demetri breathed out in shock.

"She left for a business trip in Hawaii, some kind of patient thing. She wouldn't be home for a week, and he invited me to sleep in his bed while she was gone. That it would be our little secret. . ."

She left you with him. . .

I felt my own throat clamp up as she continued, and I wanted to move to her so badly.

But with how her story is going, I might just make things worse.

"I-I thought that your dad was supposed to protect you. Th-that h-he would never let anyone hurt you, le-let alone himself," She stuttered out, and hearing how much pain she was in, how much her throat sounded like it was ready to close again, I couldn't move.

"I woke up and he. . .he-he was touching me. I tried pushing him away, but I was a child. He started ra-raping me. . .h-he didn't even stop when she came b-back. I hated it so much, Demetri. Why?! W-why me?!"

No. . .

"He-he called me his-his songbird. Th-that I was his personal. . ."

I wanted to throw up. She never told us any of this. All this time she's been terrified of us leaving her, of us abandoning her, but I would never. . .

Then I realized I had already done that.

I left her, I damaged her by being a stupid fucking dumbass and that she probably never wanted to see me again.

And as much as it hurt me to possibly never be able to make eye contact with her again, to never hold her hand or even hug her, I decided to do the one thing that would keep her away from me and hopefully make her. . .make her forget about me.

Kyler.

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SADNESS AGAIN!! I'm telling you guys now that they aren't going to be an automatic couple by the end of this. Hawk still has a lot to make up for and Quinn wants to see his progress and feel love for herself before moving forward with a potential relationship.