For the most part, Bucky was doing so much better at coping with his past, although not every day could be perfect. There was so much pain and trauma in his past, more than the average person and you could only be grateful for how far he had come working through it all. You supported him through it all, good days and the bad, no matter what life through at you, you were aware of his past and you were willing to help him fight through it every day.

Today was one of the bad days. Bucky was getting stuck in his own head, not certain about the relationship that you shared with him, fearing what all the darkness in his past could cause for your present. He told you of his uncertainties and as the tears began to well in his eyes, you knew how hard he was trying to push you away out of his own fears.

"I've hurt so many people and I will only manage to hurt you too," he stated, his jaw clenching hard, trying to stop himself from becoming overwhelmed by his emotions.

"You've never hurt me. Ever."

You reached out a gentle hand to touch his cheek, waiting for a moment to make sure that he wouldn't flinch away from your touch.

"I never thought I would hurt anyone but then I became a killer," he croaked, his eyes clamping shut, the memories of everyone that HYDRA had manipulated him into hurting or killing flipping through his mind.

"That wasn't you," you smiled softly. "You know it wasn't you. You are doing so well overcoming everything that has happened to you and isolating yourself isn't going to help. I know you want to protect me, but you aren't doing that by pushing me away."

He opened his eyes again, revealing the evident pain behind them. You hated seeing him like this but that wasn't going to make you go anywhere, it only made you want to support him more.

"I can't keep doing this Y/N," he said. "I can't bear being with you when I know I will hurt you."

"Buck, I'm not going anywhere, not unless you can tell me you don't love me or don't want to be with me. I know how much this hurts you, but we can do this together, we always have, and we always will. I trust you with my life, you just need to be able to see that."

He had nothing more to say, letting you pull him into a warm embrace so that you could help calm him until the tears seized once more.

~*~

Written by Charlotte.

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