Here are the nightmare versions of Mary had a little lamb and twinkle twinkle little star

Mary had a little lamb, no she didn't, no she didn't, Mary had a little lamb, but in fact she was the lamb's

Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, I'm a giant ball of gas, that will one day kick your ass, twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are

Bonus song
Just ignore the swear words and I have nothing against ibises(?)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]