❛ All my troubles on a burning pile. All lit up and I start to smile. If I, catch then I change my aim throw my troubles at the pearly gates. ❜

SEASON 1, EPISODE 8
we gull way back

WHEN STEDE HAD made it on deck, he had already decided Calico Jack was no longer allowed on his ship. Then, Jack made the decision even easier as his whip lashed out and killed Carl the Seagull. Stede did not pride himself on his thoughts, but he was glad Jack had killed Carl, because if not, the oncoming scene Stede was about to make might not have gone as he wanted.

⠀⠀⠀"Get off my ship," Stede demanded, his back pin-straight and unyielding. Jack turned to him slowly, amused by his demand, but Stede was no longer looking to be pushed around. "Now."

⠀⠀⠀"Fine," Jack complied. "I don't give a shit. Party sucked anyway. I'm out. Who's with me?"

⠀⠀⠀None of the crew moved, thank the heavens. Instead, they stayed in a statuesque state and stared at Jack with sealed lips.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, come on, guys! You don't wanna stick around with this fop, do ya?" Jack asked, looking across the faces of the Revenge's crew, but none were swayed. "Blackie? I saved your life, man," he said.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah... let's go," Ed muttered, turning on his heel with hunched shoulders and a bowed head to follow.

⠀⠀⠀"Wait," Stede called, his heart dropping into his stomach. "You're leaving? With him?"

⠀⠀⠀"Later, losers!" Jack yelled, falling into the boat below.

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard left the edge of the boat and approached Stede. The look was solemn, and Stede realized he had no intention to stay, only to say goodbye.

⠀⠀⠀"This is who I am, Stede. Can you see me now?" Blackbeard asked. His head was bowed, but he raised his eyes to look at him from under his lashes. "You were always gonna realize what I am."

⠀⠀⠀"Wh-What about Nikita?" Stede asked, his eyes wide.

⠀⠀⠀"I've dragged her down far enough," Blackbeard sighed. "She deserves better. Keep an eye on her, alright? And that idiot boyfriend of hers, too? I don't know if I like him."

⠀⠀⠀"But—" Stede started, a million thoughts in his head. He didn't know what to say, all the things he had misunderstood, but Blackbeard had already made his decision and was backing away.

⠀⠀⠀"Take care, mate," he muttered, then fell off the side of the ship.

NIKITA WOKE IN the high-back chair in the Captain's quarters by the same man's grumbling. Oluwande had taken the couch the night before and had also woken because of this reason.

⠀⠀⠀"They're already drinking. And now, he's got sand all through his beard," Stede said, scoffing. "Well, that's what you get for sleeping on the beach."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita's life came crashing back to her at his words. In those few hours, Calico Jack had come for a day and managed to destroy her life. She had felt weak against his dominant hand, pushed aside, and now she had lost her father. He hadn't even said goodbye. Just left her as if she were nothing.

⠀⠀⠀Stede mentioned what he said, but it sounded like something a widow would tell herself to feel better. Dying words that were made up in a dream.

⠀⠀⠀Even if the words were truly said by her father—('He said that he feels like he's dragging you down with him,' Stede said.)—it wasn't true. She would gladly go to the ends of the earth with Blackbeard because he was her family. Not Stede, or Oluwande, or even Bash.

⠀⠀⠀Only Blackbeard and the ocean.

⠀⠀⠀"Trust me, Captain," Oluwande groaned, exhausted. "You gotta take your mind off them for a bit."

⠀⠀⠀"They're the furthest thing from my mind," Stede replied in annoyance. "That's why I've got the telescope... Oh, look at Jack. DO you think he's better looking than me?"

⠀⠀⠀"No," Nikita told him simply, turning in her chair to kick her feet over the armrest.

⠀⠀⠀"He's got nice hair," Stede said.

⠀⠀⠀"You've got nice hair," Oluwande said.

⠀⠀⠀"But his mustache is weird," Stede muttered.

⠀⠀⠀"It is. Clean face or beard, make-up your mind," Nikita added, hoping if they added to his grumblings that maybe he would pull himself out of it."

⠀⠀⠀The door opened, and Lucius entered to see the pitiful sight.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, God," he muttered. He crossed the room and stopped at the edge of Oluwande's couch. "Hello."

⠀⠀⠀"Hello."

⠀⠀⠀"Don't you two look awful?" Lucius pointed out with a curling smile.

⠀⠀⠀"We slept here last night," Nikita muttered, waving her hand dismissively at him.

⠀⠀⠀"Mm," Lucius mused, looking down at Oluwande. "Do you regret giving the room away?"

⠀⠀⠀"And drinking two bottles of rum," Oluwande added with a sickly groan.

⠀⠀⠀"So, cool," Lucius chuckled.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, well, well, look who's eating seaweed," Stede laughed to himself.

⠀⠀⠀"Has this been goin' on all night?" Lucius asked them.

⠀⠀⠀"All night. No breaks," Oluwande said.

⠀⠀⠀"That won't mix well with booze. Mark my words. You do a little dance. Not a good dancer," Stede continued.

⠀⠀⠀Lucius left the exhausted duo to rest and went to Stede. He forced the pining man to leave his focus from Jack and Blackbeard and instead on him. Stede admitted that he believed their friendship had ended, and Lucius assured him that he was fabulous with breakups. He collected Stede's things with ties to Blackbeard in a box.

⠀⠀⠀As he passed, Nikita stopped Lucius with her hand around his wrist. He paused, staring down at her with a raised brow.

⠀⠀⠀"Here," Nikita muttered, removing her knife from her belt. "Give him this."

⠀⠀⠀"You sure?" Lucius asked with an awkward laugh. "It's a nice knife."

⠀⠀⠀"He gave it to me," Nikita said. "I don't want it if he doesn't want me."

⠀⠀⠀Lucius frowned, seeming more pitiful to her situation than Stede's. Where he found delicious drama in Stede's relationships, he found a tragic Shakespearean play in her. He accepted the knife, however, and left without voicing the thoughts she already saw clear as day in his expression.

⠀⠀⠀Stede returned to his telescope, muttering with glee as he watched Lucius return the items.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you alright?" Oluwande asked Nikita.

⠀⠀⠀Nikita stood, her skin flushed with anger, storming out of the room. She didn't need to be asked if she was alright. She didn't need their pity. She needed space, and she needed time to forget that Blackbeard ever existed.

NIKITA HAD GONE up the mast to her perch and watched the sun begin to set. She allowed a smile to peek at the edges of her lips as the sky was painted in a plenitude of colors before it washed away into a dark night.

⠀⠀⠀Bash was nowhere in sight. Their nightly viewing of the sun setting was broken off without a word spoken of it. She knew it was her fault, that she shouldn't be upset by his need for space, but she had never felt more alone.

⠀⠀⠀Below, the crew had gathered around Stede as he explained how soon her life would stray away from Blackbeard's. She would be her own person stuck on a ship of imbeciles.

⠀⠀⠀"I just wanted to let you all know, we'll be holding a burial at sea for Karl. Understandably, Buttons is..." Stede began to explain, but Buttons interrupted him timely.

⠀⠀⠀"I WISH GOD TOOK ME INSTEAD!" Buttons screamed. He stood behind Nikita, bathing in the moon glow, completely naked. She had noticed it when she arrived on her perch and would like not to see it again.

⠀⠀⠀"Rather audibly upset," Stede continued with a sigh. "And, on a related note... Blackbeard will no longer be sailing with us."

⠀⠀⠀"What?!" the crew exclaimed in unison.

⠀⠀⠀"It's a big one, I know," Stede agreed solemnly. " It was a mutual decision, which I initiated first."

⠀⠀⠀"So, does this mean we're back to being captained by just... you?" Black Pete asked hesitantly, sparking the rest of the crew to exclaim their disappointment at how crass the man had been. "I'm not being a dick by wanting clarity!" Black Pete shouted back at them.

⠀⠀⠀"Look, technically, you've always been captained by me, and only me, so there's no change there," Stede said calmly.

⠀⠀⠀"Right, but what if some of us saw ourselves more as Blackbeard's employee?" Black Pete continued, and again, the crew exclaimed their protests while Black Pete received no answers.

BLACKBEARD SAT IN the dinghy with Jack as they watched the Revenge begin to pass them. He had made his choice, and there could be no guilt left with him. Stede had seen who he really was, and Nikita was better off without him. He could see no other choice.

⠀⠀⠀"Best thing that could've happened to you if you ask me," Jack assured him, paddling the dinghy for them. "Like, when I heard that you'd shacked up with him, I said..."

⠀⠀⠀Jack started laughing, but Ed was taken by surprise. His mind stuttered for a moment as he turned to Jack.

⠀⠀⠀"Where'd you hear that?" Ed asked, his brows furrowed. "You didn't just happen upon us, did you, Jack?" he realized.

⠀⠀⠀"Took you long enough," Jack scoffed. "The old Blackbeard woulda seen me comin' a mile away. No... Izzy Hands sent me. Spanish Jack sends her regards as well."

⠀⠀⠀"Izzy sold me out," Ed muttered, looking down at his feet and the dinghy he had found himself in.

⠀⠀⠀"No, he sold Stede out," Jack corrected him, nodding his head back toward the ship. "Sentimental bastard wanted me to get you out of there before the English showed up. Sends his condolences to Nikita, however. Always liked her," he concluded, clicking his tongue.

⠀⠀⠀"The English?" Ed asked, whipping his head toward Jack as sudden dread filled every bone, muscle, and organ in his body.

⠀⠀⠀"That's right."

⠀⠀⠀"When?"

⠀⠀⠀"I can't remember exactly when..."

⠀⠀⠀Ed turned his head, noticing the fleet just on the horizon. "FUCK!"

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, there they are."

"LOOK, THESE THINGS happen. Sometimes, sea captains drift apart," Stede tried to console his crew. Nikita thought it was odd he spoke to the grown men like his children after their father left with no warning. "I know it's tough, but chin up, okay? Neither of us will like you less or more than we did before."

⠀⠀⠀"Bad news, Captain," Roach interrupted.

⠀⠀⠀"It is. It's terrible news," Stede agreed.

⠀⠀⠀"Not that," Roach snapped at him. Nikita looked down to see him pointing across the deck. "That."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita followed his hand to see three ships sailing the blue seas not far from them. English. Her teeth ground, and she stood on the mast to grab a better view of the approaching ships.

⠀⠀⠀"That's a lot of ships," Stede said, reflecting the inner thoughts of Nikita out loud.

"I FIGURED YOUR were on to me when I lured you to Blind Man's Cove," Jack said with a smug grin. "Seeing as its distinguishing feature is that—"

⠀⠀⠀"It's impossible to make an escape," Ed realized, bending over the crate of his things painfully.

⠀⠀⠀"Yes," Jack agreed, nodding his head. "Hornigold's favorite place for an ambush. Yeah... man. Took you long enough."

⠀⠀⠀Ed couldn't keep his eyes off the impending ships drawing closer and closer to the Revenge while the man that tricked him sat in the boat without a care in the world.

⠀⠀⠀"So, where to? I was thinkin' maybe Republic of Pirates. Can always find a cute girl there to screw, like that kid of yours," Jack said languidly, sitting back in the boat with an amused smirk on his lips.

⠀⠀⠀Suddenly, all the rage that had mellowed in Stede's presence had unearthed and Blackbeard was the man he had once been. He leaped across the boat, punching Jack in the face and split his cheek. Then, his hands curled into Jack's shirt, pulling his tight against him so they were nose to nose.

⠀⠀⠀"What did you say to me? What did you fucking say?!" Ed screamed, his eyes wild as he stared into the ocean colored calmness of Jack's eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"Your daughter," Jack repeated, dancing around the words. "The little bitch, she knows how to warm an old coc—"

⠀⠀⠀Blackbeard wanted to rip Jack limb from bloody limb, watch the blood pour from him as Jack was kept alive, weeping as he watched. He wanted to chop Jack's flesh into cubes and force them down the man's throat until he was so full of himself he exploded. He wanted so many things of Jack, to see him suffer, but the English were upon them. His daughter and his friend were about to be murdered. All because he had let his past self get to his head.

⠀⠀⠀Ed slammed the box in his hand down, then took the oar and snapped it in half. He'd heard Buttons over the current of water chanting hexes at Jack and he hoped it would be enough. He wasn't a man who believed in magic, but he did believe in getting what was coming for you.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, that was our only oar," Jack sighed.

⠀⠀⠀"FUCK YOU, JACK!" Ed screamed, getting his face. "She's my daughter and he's my friend. If I ever see you again I will turn you inside out, mate, and make you eat your own asshole! Do you fucking hear me?"

⠀⠀⠀Jack only laughed. This was all just a game to him.

⠀⠀⠀Ed couldn't be around him any longer. He snatched the knife from the crate and flung his body into the water swimming for the ship hoping he wouldn't be too late.

THE ENGLISH FIRED a cannonball, and Nikita quickly scrambled down to the deck. However, she wasn't about to die because she was knocked into the sea by a mast falling over.

⠀⠀⠀Another cannon was fired, hitting the ship, and the deck shook. Bash had appeared at Nikita's side, steadying her with furrowed brows. She silently thanked him, and he nodded in response.

⠀⠀⠀"Warning shot," Oluwande realized.

⠀⠀⠀"The next one will be in the hull," Nikita said urgently to Stede.

⠀⠀⠀"Right," Stede agreed. "We should probably fire back at them. Um, prepare the cannons!"

⠀⠀⠀"Wait!" Blackbeard exclaimed, hoisting himself over the side of the ship. "Hoist the white flag!"

⠀⠀⠀"Ed!" Stede exclaimed, a forgiving smile filling his face.

⠀⠀⠀"Better alive than dead," Ed stated.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, come on! Do what he said," Stede urged his crew.

⠀⠀⠀Ed pushed himself over the ledge and stood on deck, sopping wet. His eyes passed over the crew until he found Nikita. She met his gaze, but even in this near-death moment couldn't find herself keeping his gaze. She tried to busy herself with helping with the cannons, but he beelined it to her.

⠀⠀⠀"Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki," Ed muttered as he approached her. Nikita tried to protest, but Ed wrapped his arms tightly around her, drenching her front as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so... sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear, voice cracking with a choked sob.

⠀⠀⠀"It's, um, it's okay," Nikita whispered. She noticed Stede watching them with a faint smile and an encouraging thumbs up when he met her stare.

⠀⠀⠀"No, it's not. It's not," Ed told her sternly, pulling back as he rested his hands on her shoulders. "I've been... horrible, and I haven't—I didn't know!"

⠀⠀⠀Nikita's face fell with sunken horror.

⠀⠀⠀"Know what?" she asked.

⠀⠀⠀Ed gave her a knowing look, and her heart felt non-existent. He didn't push or pester, only pulled her head down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

⠀⠀⠀"I won't leave you, not ever again, alright?" Ed reassured her. "I'm sorry."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry, too," Nikita forced herself to say.

⠀⠀⠀"Don't be, don't be," Ed assured her. "C'mon, it's nearly time."

NIKITIA DIDN'T KNOW what to expect when the English boarded the Revenge. In all her years, they had never surrendered. However, the crew still did not go without a fight, kicking, screaming, and punching every damn Englishman that tried to get their hands on them.

⠀⠀⠀For Nikita, she had been pinned down to the deck by one of the soldiers and pulled to her feet to stand at the edge of the boat. Her brows furrowed as she stared across the deck to see she was facing the crew.

⠀⠀⠀Then, she turned her head to the soldier holding her, his smile distant as her vision spun. The knife in her stomach blossomed into a red rose in her stomach.

⠀⠀⠀"You have always been a thorn in my side," the gravelly voice of Izzy Hands hissed. Single footfalls enunciated with every step he took, his hands pinned behind his back, and he stared at her with a stern glare. "This is how it had to go. Ed wouldn't leave you except like this."

⠀⠀⠀Nikita stared at him in horror, no pungent words able to escape her mouth. The blade was ripped from her stomach, leaving a gaping wound where it funneled blood out of her and onto the wooden deck. She let out a shriek of pain, her hand resting over the wound where it felt like her organs were about to slip out and pour onto the deck.

⠀⠀⠀Her eyes raised to the crew, noticing they were still at odds with the soldiers, unaware of what was happening right in front of them. All except one.

⠀⠀⠀Stede had noticed her plight. His eyes as wide as his fine china plates, and he fought harder against the captor, pinning him down. He tried to tell the others, tell Ed, but then the Englishmen holding her had enough. Finally, his hand on her shoulder forced her over the open edge, where she tumbled down into the water.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

It's been a minute. Editing these chapters always takes forever because I procrastinate so hard smh...

So, yeah, not the end yet. We may have one or two more chapters, I'm still debating where I want to end this until season 2 (because no don't worry, Nikki's not dead).

SONG: Burning Pile by Mother Mother

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.