We all gathered round for dinner that night.

Luke sat next to me. Kayleigh had already gone to bed long ago.

Poor baby was so exhausted from travelling all day she knocked out as soon as she felt the comfort of the soft bed.

She picked that up from her mom. And by that I mean me.

Kayleigh's real mom, Dahlia wasn't really a bad person. At least she didn't used to be. I hadn't heard from her in ages, neither had Luke.

I really hoped she was okay, regardless of what she did.

Everyone around the table was silent.

Grayson sat across from me.

He told me he loved me. I loved him too. 

But then what were we? And what could we be?

I wanted to be his girlfriend.

The problem is I didn't know if he wanted me to be.

Grayson can be uncommunicative... like a lot.

But there are times he's really opened up.

Rare times but still.

I took to note Avery hadn't come down for dinner.

The silence in the room was deafening when Nash spoke up.

"So, Luke, what do you do for work?"

"Oh I'm a mechanic."

I smiled knowing he wasn't just a mechanic.

"He's being modest." I told them.

They all looked confused.

"He opened an auto shop at 18, it's the biggest one in Connecticut. He has chains everywhere across the state."

Luke looked down and blushed slightly.

Nash was smiling at this point.

They were going to be besties and I could garuntee it.

"What kinda repair work?" Nash questioned.

He had dropped everything at this point and was now interrogating Luke like his life depended upon it.

"Uhh... a lot of things, cars obviously. I mostly handle the bigger ones like the 4x4's. I got a hellcat once! But mostly motorcycle work."

Nash's eyes were brighter than the sky during the full moon.

"Do you have one?"

"A motorcycle? Yeah, yeah I do."

I smiled faintly.

I remembered going with Luke to the shop the day he bought it.

He looked so excited.

Of course he never lets Kayleigh anywhere near it and only goes on rides occasionally. Sometimes I would offer to babysit and he'd take it out again, just around the neighbourhood and back.

He refused to do anymore.

"What if I get hurt huh Kay? What's gonna happen to my girls then?" He asked me once.

"Lukey sweetie, I've been managing myself my whole life and as for Kayleigh, I would take care of her. I'm not her godmother for nothing." I told him.

He sighed.

"I know, I know but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you two."

"I know." I said.

I snapped back after another question from Nash.

"What bike?"

"A Triumph Rocket 221 3R." He said.

Nash nodded his head in approval.

"Lemme guess," Luke began as he pointed at Nash. "Harley?"

Nash chuckled slightly.

"I was gonna go for that but decided against it. Couldn't afford it at the time."

Nash nodded again.

"Come on, imma show you something." Nash said as he rose from the table.

Luke followed and the two of them marched out.

"Curfew at 10 boys, no later!" I yelled jokingly and the two of them laughed.

"Got it mom." Luke said.

I glared at him but he'd already left with Nash.

Luke's like me. We didn't fit in to many places nor did we want to. We had each other and that was a lot.

I was happy Luke was getting close to Nash.

Plus I think Kayleigh would really like him.

He seemed good with kids.

Libby always wanted kids... 

Hey! I can't hyper analyse my sisters potential boyfriend now?"

Libby got up after a while, and so did Xan and Jameson.

That left me... and Grayson.

We stared at each other for a while. Like an unspoken staring contest.

"Gray."

"Yes love?"

My heart fluttered slightly. 

"What are we?" I asked.

"Whatever you want." He replied.

"But is what I want, what you want?"

"That depends love, what do you want?"

I heaved a sigh.

"I want us to be more than friends."

His eyebrows went up slightly.

"You're saying you want to date me?"

"Yes."

He bit his lip and sunk back in his seat slightly.

"Do you love me?" I asked him.

"Of course." He said.

"Okay... are you in love with me?"

He took a second and then spoke.

"Yes."

"Don't lie to me."

"Kayla I would never lie to you."

I scoffed.

"If you're in love with me why don't you want to date me?"

"I'm scared." He muttered.

"Of what?"

"This. Us. The idea of us being together."

"So... you don't want to be with me?"

He didn't reply.

"You know what?" I began "fuck it. If you don't want to be with me. I don't want to waste my time on someone who will never love me the same way I love them." I stood up and began to walk off.

He leapt to his feet.

"No Kayla." He grabbed my hand and spun me around.

"What?"

"I really am in love with you. You're like a drug to be my love. I try to quit but every time i fail. That's how much control you have over me. I really do love you."

My heart melted slightly.

I felt tears start to fall down my eyes.

"Oh no, love don't cry."

In all honesty I don't know why I was crying. This boy. This beautiful boy had just admitted how much he loved me. He expressed more love for me than anyone had and that made me dizzy. He was so beautiful. That boy. My boy.

He reached his hand toward my cheek and wiped the tears from my face.

He wiped them put a few more spilled out.

"Gray I'm so sorry." I told him.

Two minutes ago I was yelling at him, now I felt like an idiot for it. Because right when the moment happened I was too much of a coward to say it back.

Then he pulled me closer to him.

"It's okay love, I'm here."

He pulled my face up by my chin and left a small kiss on my lips.

I sniffled.

What was wrong with me?!

"I- I have to go." I said.

Then I bolted.

I hadn't noticed Isaac following close behind, or the look of concern him and Grayson shared as I ran up the stairs to my room, tears pouring down my face as I did so.

I locked the door as soon as I got up and sank to the floor.

Idiot

Idiot 

Idiot

Fucking idiot.

Why couldn't I just find the words to tell him?

The first day Grayson and I met he called me 'a girl with a razor sharp tongue'.

All throughout me knowing him Luke always said I had a silver tongue.

Isaac once said I had an attitude.

And when the moment came all those attributes failed me.

There was pounding on the door.

"KAYLA!" 

I recognised Isaac's voice.

"Kayla open the door!" He yelled.

I wiped the tears from my face.

Idiot.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

Idiot! Idiot!

I forced a smile on my face.

Dumb fucking idiot.

I pulled my weight out of the bathroom and flopped down on my bed.

Such. A. Fucking. Idiot.

******************** 

WC: 1112

Listen guys I'm so sorry for making them like this. Istg I am. 

They get together soon enough tho don't worry.

Anyway, love you 

Mia