The Book Of Mormon One Shot

"Come on now we do not want to be late to church now do we? I don't want to Heavenly Father to have to put a tardy on my crisp permanent record." The sharp prongs of his pocket-sized comb ran through his freshly pruned and perfected hair, placing the last few askew hairs back to where they should have been. Whilst he was taking too much care in his attention, he caught you in the mirror.

"You cannot wear that to church! What will the other elders think of me? Your shoulders are almost showing. No way, you need to put something less revealing on." "Do you really care that much about what the other elders will think?"

"Well yeah, you don't get to be the elder that brings the most people to the church for four months in a row without caring about what other people think about you."

"So, you'd rather keep the other elders happy and not me?"

"Well no, I just care much greater about their opinion as opposed to yours. Now come on, at least put a shoal on or something so we can make a move."

"No, I'm not going."

"Come on honey, we are Mormons, we don't just skip church." His jaw dropped and he began to whisper, as if he thought that the omniscient and omnipotent God couldn't hear him so long as he talked a bit quieter than normal. "No, we are not skipping. We're not playing hooky like some high school heathens, what next? Heroin...coffee?!"

"You go, I'll just stay and hide myself away from the world, maybe wrap myself up in a few... Maybe fifteen layers and then I'll meet you there?"

"Oh come on honey, all I'm saying is that a little bit of modesty makes us all look better. I mean look at me, a staple of the Mormon community. Fresh shirt, crisp hair and a heart full of love and faith for Heavenly Father." His hand ran down his tie and then buffed his badge that took pride of place on his chest.

"I'm not going Kevin. Apologise and I'll think about it, but until then I'm staying here and my shoulders are shining for the whole damn world to see." He gasped in horror.

"Do not use such profanity. Oh Heavenly Father what have I gotten myself into with this one..."

"Just go to church."

~*~

Written by Aaron.

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