Before I begin the interview, I want everyone to know I'm not a bully and that any negative critics I say are not to offend or hurt the author. We are only trying to help. I hope you enjoy and learn from this review and please for Kami sake remember you asked us to do this.

The Uzumaki Siblings by Shayne_potato

Reviewed by Crowillow

First Impressions

I do not know about other people but before I read the book I often judge it by the cover, title, and description. I know if it looks and sounds good I usually read it right away. Though I think this might be a given for any avid reader. Your cover is basically the essence in what your story is going to be about in a way. The better the cover, better the story because it means you are working hard for it to be so. Your cover is nicely done and I love the colors and the pop it gives when I glance at it. I can tell you worked hard on your cover to make it stand completely out, however, the cover is also a bit blurry and if you stare a little too long you can see that part of the pictures are too stretched causing slight pixelation to be seen. In the end, I deem it a wonderful cover usable and does not need to be changed.

Another way to catch a potential reader's attention is to have a catchy title. A title is just like a picture meaning it can capture a thousand words about the story without giving anything away about the plot. With that being said, Your title for these types of stories is completely overused and unoriginal. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just makes your book harder to find and some readers will often skip it due to the fact they think it's like the other thousand stories before it. Some suggested titles to use if I was the author would be either Whirlpool Fox or Crimson Hope.

Writing a description of the story can be rather hard and I understand completely as a fellow writer myself. You don't want your description to be too long or even too short. You also don't want to give too much of your story away to the reader either. That being said, I recommend changing the description as the grammar could use work, it gives away key plot points, and it's rather long for a description. An example description that I would use would be.

Crimson hair the color of a fragile rose and eyes a shade of the sky is Uzumaki Mizuki.

Sister to Uzumaki Naruto, and perhaps a savior of the shinobi world.

Your Story's Plot

I do enjoy reading Naruto having a sibling fanfic because I feel Naruto himself deserves to not grow up alone. I find Mizuki rather adorable with her red hair and how she calls Naruto Onii-chan. It literally had me smiling every time I read it. I think my favorite part is Mizuki's name which translates to auspicious hope.

I like the idea of your plot where it follows part of the canon with little-changed nudges here and there in the story. I noticed however that Mizuki for an OC (Own Character) is a Mary Sue and comes off too likable and perfect. Do not worry as with many new writers and even veteran writers it is hard to not write a perfect character.

Your plot needs a lot more detail added in from what I've noticed so far from what I've read along with perhaps adding a little more emotions to the characters we all love and adore. An example would be-

Naruto glared at Kiba eyes lit with protective fire for his only sister, "Let her go, Kiba!" growled Naruto as he grabbed the confused Mizuki from Kiba's grasp.

"Onii-chan!" pouted Mizuki adorably as her azure-blue eyes went wide with slight indignation. "Kiba-san is my friend."

I confess myself rather confused on some certain aspects of the plotline. Naruto was born a couple years before Mizuki and Kurama attacking Konoha. So why do the villagers not seem to know he is their beloved Hokage's son? Food for thought I guess.

Your Story's Structure

Like I mentioned before your story could use a bit more details added to the plotline. Emotions are what makes us human so use that to your advantage, dear writer. Reader want to connect with not only your character but the other characters in the story and relate to them. I think you got a bit too hyper with your writing because you rushed a lot through the story and it was hard to keep up with it. You did use break lines but you did not use them in a way that lessened the rushy confusion of the plotline. I think your grammar needs a bit more work because there were times I got a little dizzy reading with all the capitalization of words so I suggest maybe go and poke at a beta reader for some help. I am delighted by the fact you've written your chapters to be long and not short which a lot of people have trouble doing.

Final verdict on your story

Since your story is right up there in my reading scope, I'm sure I'll read it again when It's cleaned up a bit. You already have many people who are reading your story so I know you will grow to become a popular and much-loved writer. I wish you and Mizuki luck!

Final words from Crowillow

I know I probably came off rather rude or harsh but this is a review and the author consented with it. Also, please remember this is just my opinion and other readers or writers may not agree with me on it. A review is nothing but free advice sometimes taken and other times not okay. I'm hardly the perfect writer myself and I can guarantee you I'm learning something new about writing daily.

Cheers mate!

-Crow