Jercy -  - Oneshot #98

Percy: MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON AND THERES A MILLION THINGS I HAVENT DONE, JUST YOU WAIIIIIITTTTTT

Jason: and now he's Hamilton trash. :/

Percy: nope. IM ALEXANDER HAMILTON HAMILTON HAMILTON

Jason: yeet me off a bridge

—0–0–0–
Jason: I don't wanna be your friend–

Percy: OUCH?!

Jason: — I just wanna kiss your lips.

Percy: hmm, tempting!

—0–0–0–
Leo: y'all! Dan and Phil are gay!

Piper: so is Nico!

Annabeth: so is Apollo!

Nico: so is Will!

Jason: [holding hands with Percy] so am I.

Leo: waitttt... Apollo is bisexual, Annabeth! Pffttt, Apollo, gay? Nahhhh

—0–0–0–
Percy: life's been hard

Jason: hard?

Percy: Life's been bad

Jason: Bad?

Percy: Life's been rough

Jason: Kinky!

—0–0–0–
Jason: ever wonder what would happen if you could transform into a horse during sex?

Percy: well... knowing Queen Elizabeth from the era of Peter the Great, probably some bestiality.

—0–0–0–
Percy: Yo. You cute [winks at Jason]

Jason: Yo, I'm emotionally unavailable

Percy: it be like that sometimes

—0–0–0–
Jason: how easy would it be to kill someone?

Percy: pretty easy.

Jason: HOW??????

Percy: find them, lure them into a seclusive place, chop them up, distribute their body parts in different trash cans so a finger is in your neighbors trash can, and the nose is 9174 million miles away.

Jason: huh. Good to know.

—0–0–0–
Percy: a true love story never ends—

Jason: in anything but death.

Percy: True.

Jason: you love me? PERISH

—0–0–0–
Percy: imma summon a demon!

Jason: Percy, you idiot the spirits will sprout lies.

Percy: it says... Jason is G-A-E??

Jason: that's a y.

Percy: Ah. Jason is gay...

Jason: spirits know me better than I do.

—0–0–0–
Percy: Bridget, why won't you update?

Bridget: cause reasons.

Jason: for the last time, watching anime is not a valid reason!

Bridget: well fuck you too, Jason.

—0–0–0–
Jason: Dear Percy Jackson, we've been way too out of touch.

Percy: I'm literally eating cold chicken on your lap.

Jason: shut up, the DEH in me is tingling.

—0–0–0–
Percy: Stop, sense a monster!

Jason: EVERYBODY STOP!! PERCY GOT HIS PERCY TINGLE!!!

Annabeth: oh nuuuuu

Leo: CRAP

Hazel: [prepares weapon]

Percy: DONT CALL IT MY PERCY TINGLE!!!
—0–0–0–
Jason: From now on, imma bs my way through life

Percy: wait.. we aren't suppose to do that?

—0–0–0–
Jason: you think Gargamel is a stripper?

Percy: that evil guy from Smurfs?

Jason: Yep. That's the one.

Percy: yep. Definitely a stripper.