Jercy - - Oneshot #91

Jason - Honey, why is the kitchen on fire?

Percy - DON'T CALL MEH HONEY

Jason - . . . The kitchen is in flames.

Percy - Your point?

Jason - *sighs* the blue cookies are in danger.

Percy - O.o MY CHILDREN *GALLOPS INTO THE FLAMES*

Jason - *shakes his head as he plans a funeral*

••+••

Percy - I swear to the gods above you never listen to me!!!!!

Jason - I am DEaf!

••+••

Percy - *is staring at grave of Jason Grace* Superman, what duh heck did you do?!

Jason - *is GHOST*

Percy - *unamused glare* You dead.

Jason - *shrugs* Yep. . . I guess so.

••+••

Teacher - What is two plus two? directed towards PERCY THE THIRD GRADER

Percy - Dunno. But that new kid is nice.

Jason - *blush blush*

Teacher - I ship it

Percy - ?

Jason - \[•*•]/ *hugs Percy*

Percy - I HAVE DREAMED A DREAM OF BEAUTY!!!!!

Teacher - *smiles as they create a Tumblr tag*

Other classmates - I swear to god they don't even go here... this is a college classroom...

••+••

Percy - directed to Jason YOU'RE NOT MEH DAD!!!

Jason - Then why you be callin' me daddy?

Nico - *Chokes on holy water*

Hazel - *clutches the Bible as she tried to un-hear whatever just happened*

••+••

Jason - I will always love you!

Piper - Awwwe, Jason you're so sweet!

Percy - Awwwe! Thanks boo!

Jason - *smiled and picks Percy up bridal style*

Percy - *IS AMAZING*

Jercy - RIDES AWAY INTO THE BURNING RAYS OF THE SUN FOR ULTIMATE CREMATION

Piper - ... M'kay.

••+••

Jason - If we have kids in the future, what would their names be?

Percy - Not real, Imaginary, and Crack

Jason - I love it!

••+••

Percy - Do you ever wonder how we met?

Jason - We met through war?

Percy - No, but, like... *sighs* What if we were best friends during preschool and didn't know it?

Jason - *dramatic gasp* JERRY??!!

Percy - *Overly dramatized tearful eyes* MARCUS?!??

ReUniTEd At LaST

••+••

Nico - *listens to music with earbuds in, softly humming along to the music*

Will - STALKER STARES AT NICO

Jason - Look at our favorite gay beans :)

Percy - I thought we were your favorite gay beans? :'( *is heartbroken*

And that's when Jason realized, he messed up

••+••

Radio - ARBY'S WE–

Jason - * turns off radio *

Percy - WE HAVE THE MEATS

Jason - So THIS is why Annabeth wanted a divorce.

••+••

Jason - Rapunzel Rapunzel, let down your golden hair!

Percy - *Lets hair down* is hair blessed by Satan cool? I'm too dead inside to get god to bless it anyway. Last time I tried he had to kick me out of heaven!

Jason - ... Marry me you demon!

Percy - Okay. Whatever.

••+••

Estelle - Mommy, why is big brother so weird?

Sally - Hmmmm

Jason - It's because he tried to be straight for so long it damaged his brain!

Percy - I'm not sure if I should be offended or high-fiving you right now...

••+••

Jason - What is the definition of love?

Percy - SHARING BLUE WAFFLES WITH AN IDIOT YOU SHARE A BED AND SOUL WITH!!!

Jason - And that's when I knew to put Percy in a mental asylum, FOR THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE. LOVE IS AN ILLUSION!!!!!

••+••

Percy - *is in shower all naked and stuff*

Jason - *pops into the shower. Head just popping from out of the shower curtain*

Percy - *stares*

Jason - Start screaming, I need to complete a tumblr post I saw.

Percy - ... Do we have any oreos?

••+••

Percy - Babe, can you fetch me a towel?

Jason - *puts on dog collar and has towel in between care teeth*

MY TIME HAS COME

Percy - ... This is why Piper left you.

••+••

Leo - Two bros chillin' in a hot tub!

Percy - Sucking each others faces–

Jason - – cause we really gay!

Will - *let's off the rainbow sparklers*

Nico - Soup.

••+••

Jason - * goes down on one knee*

Percy - Bow down to me, peasant!

Jason - *hesitantly puts back the ring me was getting out of his pocket* Satan, my king!

••+••

Annabeth - Percy, I think you're gay.

Percy - Pfffft, what gave you that idea?

Annabeth - *gestures to all the pics of Jason* You had your computer open on the Am I Really Gay? Quiz.

Percy - It said I was a 98% match to Dan Howell and 87% to Phil Lester. My life is complete.

••+••

A/n:
Which would you like to see competed? (Hog warts AU part two, Gravity part two, etc) I'm having a hard time choosing!

Bye!

~ Bridget