1965 - thirty five

The quiet undisturbed suburb unknowingly hid me away, allowing me sanctuary. I slipped between two houses, deeply swallowed in shadow as I caught my breath, I checked to ensure I had my survival pack with me.

It was dangerous and stupid to knowingly run into a domestic area, but I really needed a break. If I stayed hidden then the civilians would be safe for now. Of course they wouldn't be if one of them were under suspicion of hiding me, then they'd be dead within the hour.

Sliding down the wooden siding of a random garage, I hugged my knees to my chest, the gravity of what was happening already weighing heavily on my mind. It'd been an entire month and a half since Bucky sacrificed himself for me. Six torturous weeks of remembering every horrible thing I've ever done while also being constantly bombarded with memories of happier times when Bucky, Steve, and I were inseparable, of blanket forts and swing sets.

A noise suddenly caused my head to snap up, I shrunk down into the darkness, trying to hide from the very man I called my best friend.

"Hello?" An older woman's voice cautiously spoke out. In the low lighting, I could make out her shape as she blindly moved toward me. "Who's there?"

"Help me" I whispered back, afraid to speak because it felt like the Winter Solider was breathing down my neck, just waiting to pounce. I quietly moved closer to the woman, purposely letting my fear drip into my voice. "My boyfriend, he's lost his mind." I spluttered, the lie falling off my tongue. "I'm scared"

"Well come inside dear and I'll fix you some tea" her voice was kind and her touch gentle as she lead me inside. "Don't worry, you can stay here the night, hopefully he'll be gone by morning"

"Thank you" I sighed in relief as I sat on her plastic covered couch, grateful for the break. I'd been constantly moving for the last week because Hydra had apparently not forgotten about me in the two years I'd been hiding. They wanted their pet back in line and they sent my best friend to track me.

"What's your name?" The woman asked as she set a cup of steaming tea on the coffee table.

"Laura" I answered quietly, the name still feeling odd on my tongue. It felt like I'd gone by Oleander or Sunshine for so long that Laura was a foreign memory.

"That's a pretty name" The older woman sat in an arm chair not far from the couch I was on. "My name is Mary. You gave me quite the scare earlier."

Sheepishly ducking my head, I tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "Sorry about that. I just didn't have anywhere else to go"

"Now don't you worry about a thing, we can go to the police station in the morning" She gave me a kind smile, patting me on the knee before slowly rising from her chair. "I need to go rest these old bones, I'll see you in the morning dear" She waddled up the stairs, a door closing soon after.

She had to be older than I was, most likely born before 1900. She was probably in her eighties or nineties by now.

Moving to grab the unfinished tea, I stood, ready to place it in the otherwise empty sink. However when I glanced out the window into the darkness, my heart stopped as I saw a glint of metal. He was standing there, watching me.

Quickly, I turned on my heel, rushing toward the front door. I had to keep Mary safe and that could only happen if I got him to chase the real target.

By the time I'd opened the door, Bucky was standing there, his eyes dark. He didn't waste a moment as I began to hurriedly back away from him.

Immediately his metal arm thrust out, catching my throat and slamming me against the nearest wall. I clawed at the unforgiving grip, praying that Mary wasn't awake and that she'd stay where she was.

"Bucky please" I begged, choking on my own words. "W-we're friends"

The muzzle strapped painfully onto his face restricted any sort of reply and the hand only squeezed harder. Black spots began to dance across my vision and my ears felt like they were filled with cotton.

In a last desperate move I tried to hit him, make him stagger in some way that would force him to release me. My attempts were futile and weak, the lack of oxygen making it difficult to do anything other than squirm.

"Be still" Marcov's voice broke through the haze, making me freeze, my struggle halting for a moment as fear coursed through my bones. "Release her."

Suddenly the hand was gone and without the support, I fell to my knees, hacking a cough as I struggled to get air to my lungs. Marcov crouched down, his gloved fingers hooking themselves under my chin as he forced me to meet his gaze.

"You've been very difficult to track down Oleander, it was foolish for you to believe you could escape the might of Hudra forever"

"That's not my name" I ground out painfully, still as defiant as I could be. I knew what would happen if they took me. Hydra isn't forgiving and Marcov took sick pleasure in doling out the punishment.

Marcov ignored me, instead his eyes found my throat. He tutted as he touched the sore spot, most likely it would leave a nasty bruise. "You are a weapon. An item Hydra acquired because of the actions of your brother. We knew what he would become the moment he joined the military in an attempt to thwart us. We took you preemptively and it turned in our favor. You're a killer and you're property. Do well to remember that"

I tried to pull my jaw from his grasp, but it only tightened in retaliation. "What did you do to Bucky" I asked instead of attempting that again. Usually he was the first out of the two of us to remember. Something from our past always seemed to snap him out of the brainwash, but not this time, he was different. More a shell of a human than someone who didn't have any memories. The muzzle was puzzling though. We only got that if we were being disrespectful and he was smart enough not to do something like that, I was the one with the loud mouth.

Marcov seemed to ponder that for a moment before finally releasing me as he stood and began to circle the man in question who stood still as a statue. "The Soldat cried out for you, begging us to leave you be and to just take him. I tired of it and shut him up. After all, what's the fun in torture if he is taking it for another."

"You're a monster" I spat. Marcov smiled as if he'd received a compliment.

"It's my job" He grinned sadistically, then nodded toward Bucky who snapped into action. Bucky hoisted me to my feet, spinning me around and pinning my arms to my side as Marcov approached me with a needle. "Don't worry little dove, we won't have any real fun until we return home." He then unceremoniously stabbed the needle into my neck, allowing the fluid to release from its prison before I could so much as flinch. The world began to darken again and I tried to struggle against it and Bucky.

Marcov's blurry image materialized even closer to me. "Oh, and I hope you enjoyed your time with the old woman. She's going to be dead because of you"

c[]xxxxx[]:::::::::::::::> <:::::::::::::::[]xxxxx[]o

Pain.

That's all I knew, white hot, terrible pain. It felt as if they'd sliced my skin open and poured acid in my veins. Everything hurt and my senses became overwhelmed by their constant harassment.

It was almost a mercy when they stopped to give me a mouth guard, prepping me for the mind wiping machine, although I was all too willing to lose everything once again for a little bit of peace, even if only for a moment. The torture had gone on for hours, maybe even days. They force fed me just enough food to live but left me hungry and tired.

Doctors nodded as they worked around each other, one at the control panel and another was checking my vitals. Slowly I was lowered only my back, the metal plates moving down until they were on my face, one rested just below my right eye while the other covered the majority of the left side.

Another flash of white hot pain came coursing through my already exhausted body. Electricity sparking through my mind and giving me an entirely too familiar feeling of agony. Memories began drifting away, like wisps too foggy to catch. I tried to latch on to something, anything at all, the slipping memories of Steve as he awkwardly tried to dance with a girl, maybe of Bucky as he walked around in his freshly pressed military uniform. Then it was gone before I could fully grasp anything.

Who was the blonde man? He was familiar to me. I could feel it. He'd been haunting me for as long as I could remember.

Why am I in the memory suppressing chair? I hadn't done anything to warrant this. Right?

The things on my face began to lift and I was raised into a seated position. Everything in me told me that I had to sit still until told otherwise. My stomach churned in hunger and nausea.

"Олеандр" Oleander.

A new man stepped forward, a red book in his hands, he made me uneasy but I straightened none the less, my gaze automatically finding it's way toward a blank stone wall ahead of me.

Don't look at them, don't make eye contact, don't speak unless ordered to.

"Нож" Knife.

The only sign of life I could give was breathing and blinking. I could feel my mind beginning to go blank, like my consciousness was stepping back and allowing another to take control.

"Предательство" treachery.

Dread began to coil in my stomach. Something wasn't right here. I wanted to fight it but it was like my limbs refused to cooperate.

"Разбитый" Broken.

A lone tear slid down my face. It was very wrong. Everything was wrong.

"Смерть" Death

My limbs felt stiff as a board. I couldn't lift a finger.

"Капитан" Captain.

Why was I sad? What was happening?

"Улица" Street.

I wanted to scream.

"Двадцать пять" Twenty Five.

Make it stop.

"Дракон" Dragon.

STOP.

"Бруклин" Brooklyn.

please

"Брат" Brother.

My mind went completely blank, the words falling out of my mouth before I knew what was happening. "готов подчиняться"

Ready to obey.