KATERINA LET JASON lead her to wherever he wanted to bring her. She felt like she was in a blur, his blond hair and his hand in hers the only thing tying her to this moment. Piper had stayed behind to wash the plate, but Katerina figured she'd catch up soon enough.

Love, love, love. To be honest, Katerina doesn't know what that word means anymore. She knew it better when she was sixteen; receiving love from her uncle, giving love to her siblings and her friends, giving and receiving love from Jason and Piper. She'd had more love to give, too much if she was being honest, and more love to receive.

But then her world had crumbled around her, and now she's closed herself off to love. She'd broken up with Jason and Piper, which was already bad enough. But running away from her mama made her lose everything she'd ever loved. Camp, her siblings ( minus Julia, but they had found Katerina ), her friends. Because even if she technically hasn't lost Leo and Hazel and Frank, she feels like she did. And her uncle's dead, and—

"You're spiraling, Rina." She blinked and Jason was facing her, looking at her worriedly.

"Huh?" Nice going, Katerina. With her free hand, she rubbed at her eye and found it came back damp. Shit. She wiped the other one, put her hand down, and noticed that she could see a balcony behind Jason with some fairy lights and comfy chairs. She let go of his hand, brushed past him, and walked toward it, but of course he went after her.

"Kat," he sighed, his voice low. "I know you."

"Do you?"

"You know the answer to that."

They reached the door. Katerina glanced at the lock, flicking it open with her mind. The slidey doors always had the easiest locks to open. So much fun. Complicated locks were fun too, but they actually required that she used her two braincells to open them. Unbelievable.

"Do I?" She pushed open the door and walked outside.

Behind her, he sighed and followed her, muttering, "I knew you'd say that." Thanks, enhanced hearing. ( Thanks, papa, she meant, but he's never given her any love. Not that she knows of, anyway. )

Katerina went to the railing and stared out at the view of New York City. It wasn't the best view she'd ever seen — not by miles, she's been to way too many places with amazing views — but it was better than the view at her apartment. It made her feel a little homesick, which was completely stupid.

( Or maybe it isn't stupid, since she doesn't have a home anymore. Something else she doesn't have, just like love. )

"Pretty," she commented, her voice quiet as her gaze darted around to the buildings towering above them with lights on, to the people walking below to wherever they were going for New Year's.

"You've always loved a pretty view," Jason was standing next to her, their arms brushing. "Something else I know about you."

She grimaced. "Can't you let that go?"

"You know that's not how good communication works."

Yes, Jason, thanks so much for that. Katerina knows what good communication is; you kinda needed it if you wanted to be in a successful polyamorous relationship.

"Guess I've fallen off," Katerina shrugged.

"Kat."

"What do you want me to say, Jason? What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me that I still know you as well as I do," he told her. "Tell me that you know you're here because you're loved."

"Jason—"

The door opened. They both turned to see Piper, armed with blankets. "Hey," she said, "you forgot these—"

She realized that the somber mood was still present. "What're we talking about?"

Jason pushed himself off the railing and walked over to meet her, taking some of the blankets from her. "Just telling Rina that I know her," he said. "And that she's loved."

"Ah," Piper said. "And the issue is that she doesn't believe it."

Katerina let out a bitter chuckle, her side leaning against the railing as she stared down at the people below her. Oh, to be a normal, clueless mortal. "Why should I?" she asked. "I didn't feel loved ten years ago. Since then, I haven't felt loved. Besides by Jules, and my big three when I see them, but—"

She was interrupted by Piper putting a blanket over her shoulders, her expression crestfallen. "I'm sorry," she apologized, Katerina making eye contact with her. "For making you feel unloved. For blaming you. Gods, Kat, it was never your fault. I was too blinded by grief to see it, but I should've known better. Of course you would have tried to argue. You tried to stop it, and I didn't know. I'm sorry that I made you leave. That you had to keep running, and get in an argument with your mom, and—" her voice cracked, and she paused. "I'm sorry for everything."

Katerina was quiet. She didn't know what to say to that. She nodded, and let Piper nestle into her side, her head down on her shoulder. Katerina felt tears stain the blanket as she wrapped an arm around Piper.

She looked over at Jason, who was next to her — when had that happened? — offering her a hand. Actually, it looked more like he wanted her hand. So she gave it to him.

"I'm sorry, too," he told her, baring his soul for her. "I'm sorry for letting you go. I thought you weren't hurting as badly as we were because you knew — and yet you were the most broken out of all of us. I hate that I thought that, because it wasn't fair to you. You never deserved anything that we did to you that day. I'm sorry for making you suffer all these years. I'm sorry for making you believe we never loved you."

She squeezed his hand, and pulled him closer to her. He leaned on her so that Katerina couldn't tell where he started and Piper ended.

It'd be okay. Everything would be okay.

* * *

Later they were on the couch, blankets wrapped around them as they cuddled, Katerina in the middle.

"What time is it?" she muttered, digging for her phone before realizing she'd left it inside. "I have to leave early tomorrow."

"And by early you mean . . ." Jason's voice trailed off.

"Eleven," responded Katerina. "And my stuff is at JuJu's."

"You can stay over," offered Jason. "And we can drive you to Julia's. And to the airport."

She hesitated. "I was gonna . . . you know—"

"Please, Kat?" Piper leaned against her, and when Katerina looked down at her, she saw Piper's signature pout. It hadn't changed a bit in the last ten years. "At least until midnight."

"You two are doing this on purpose," declared Katerina.

"And?" Piper batted her eyelashes.

"Fine," Katerina sighed. "But you're coming with me. I need my phone."

Piper nodded and stood up, shoving the blankets off of her. Katerina snickered, shedding her blankets before getting up.

"And what am I supposed to do?" asked Jason, tilting his head adorably.

Piper patted his cheek. "Sit and look pretty and cozy, darling."

"This is a girl thing, milaya, you know this," Katerina sent him a smirk before walking to the door, opening it for Piper.

"So chivalrous," she commented as she walked through, Katerina following behind her.

"That's me," agreed Katerina. "Katerina the Chivalrous."

Piper turned to stick her tongue out at her. "Katerina the Master Thief."

"Was that supposed to be a comeback? Because it was a shitty one."

"No, I'm making fun of you, there's a difference." Piper rolled her eyes. "Where'd you leave your phone?"

"I don't know. One of the two rooms we were in?"

"I hate you."

"I know you do."

She gave Katerina an unimpressed glare. "Kat."

"Sorry. Force of habit."

Piper's glare intensified.

"Have you ever considered that maybe I don't deserve your love?" asked Katerina. "Even if you . . . you know, broke us up. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe—"

"Do not, Katerina." Wow, the full name? That brought shivers down Katerina's spine. "We told you, you didn't deserve what we did to you. And it's not about deserving our love. It's about if we want to give our love to you."

Piper stopped, turning and grabbing Katerina's hands. "I can't speak for Jason, but I'm giving you my love, regardless of whether you deserve it or not. Because I love you, Kat. Even if this is the last time I'll have you."

"But you don't want a liar."

"I'm nothing without you."

Katerina shook her head. "God, Piper—"

"One last night," whispered Piper. "One last time. Believe me. Stay with me."

Belatedly, Katerina realized that they were in the living room and her phone was on the couch where she'd left it. She went over to pick it up, bringing Piper with her. She read the time: 9:54. She exhaled, then looked over at Piper. "No offense, but you didn't really give me much of a choice. But, either way, I'd stay regardless."

Katerina wanted to run away from anymore emotional vulnerability. However, the grin on Piper's face made it all worth it.

"So what's happening tomorrow?" Piper asked on their way back. Katerina's arm was around hers as she looked down at her phone.

"I dunno," she shrugged, Piper opening the door to the balcony for her. "Wake up, if I have time make sure I don't look like shit, get to Jules's apartment, grab my stupid suitcase, get to airport, and hopefully not be late, otherwise Kiki'll kill me."

"Who's Kiki?" Jason asked, still sitting on the couch.

"I plead the Fifth," said Katerina, checking to see if the boss had called her. They hadn't, though they'd left a very passive aggressive text about the police chase. She grimaced and responded. "It's like you want me to lose my job, milaya."

"Hey, it's not his fault you talk so much," said Piper, collapsing on the couch next to Jason.

"And it's my fault that you pry so much?" Katerina then moved on to replying to Julia, asking her if they wanted a ride to the airport with them.

"Aw, come on, Rina, you love it," Piper smirked.

Katerina didn't answer, turning off her phone and going to sit on Jason's other side. "Let's not talk about work when the next three weeks of my life are going to be consumed by work, shall we?"

So they sat there for around two hours, sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting in silence. And then the fireworks went off.

"Happy New Year, Rina," Jason told her before kissing her.

Her hand went to cup his cheek, smiling as she pulled away. "Happy New Year, milaya." She looked behind him at Piper, and went to kiss her too. "Happy New Year, malyshka."

Then she watched them kiss, the fireworks going off all around them, and wondered if this was what life would be like from now on. Spending every New Year's here. Kissing under the fireworks with Jason and Piper. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad life.

Eventually they fell asleep, on the couch on the balcony, after the festivities were over and the city was quieter than it had been when the clock struck midnight.

the way i literally forgot that the new year happened at midnight on the 1st so instead kat's leaving for manila on new year day oops but i'm too lazy to change it so

<3 maybel