TW: A lot of cursing

~Dipper~

It was a warm, sunny summer day and I was sitting on an armchair watching 'Ducktective' in the living room of our famous Mystery Shack. I was wearing a red T-shirt, gray shorts and my 'Pinetree' hat. I got it back from Wendy, when I went back to Gravity Falls with my sister four years ago on summer. It was peaceful and quiet in the Shack, because uncle Ford was in his workshop, working on the journal he wrote on his trip to the Arctic Ocean with Stan. Mabel and Stan, on the other hand, were in the mall, probably with Soos and Melody. In that situation I was left alone, only with the TV, my thoughts and...

"What'cha watchin', Pinetree?"

Yes. The Dream Demon. Also known as...

"Bill, leave me alone, you stupid dorito"

Actually, calling him a 'dorito' doesn't make much sense anymore, because he's been in his human form for a while now. You're probably wondering how is he alive, why isn't he a floating dorito and, most importantly, what the fuck is he doing in the Mystery Shack? Well, last year it already turned out that he's pretty much alive and is not as bad as he was five years ago...

*flashback from last year*

I don't know what kind of power brought me there, but when I was talking to Pacifica I suddenly felt the urge to go to the forest, so I ended our conversation and went in that direction. I was actually walking without even thinking where I'm going. It was like I subconsciously knew the way. When I stopped I saw a statue with an outstretched arm that was almost completely covered in moss. It kinda looked like... No, it couldn't be him, could it?...

Again, I felt the same urge as few seconds ago, but this time it felt like I had to shake the statue's hand... I didn't want to do it, but my body acted on its own... The moment my fingertips met the cold stone, blue, warm flames surrounded me and the statue and at the same time I felt a weird tingling in my chest... The flame started shining so bright I had to close my eyes. When I felt it was all over, I reopened my eyes, just to see...

A BOY MY AGE WITH BLONDE HAIR, AN EYPATCH ON LEFT EYE, KINDA GOOD LOOKING, HUGGING ME FROM THE BACK?!!!

...wait a minute... Did I just?... Oh no.

Before I even completely realized that I just complimented a total stranger in my thoughts, he said:

"Why, hello there, dear Pinetree~"

HOLY SHIT, NO WAY!

I quickly turned around and my eyes landed on...

"BILL?!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? AND HOW DID YOU TAKE A FORM OF A HANDSOME HUMAN?!!!"

SHIT! AGAIN? Brain, what is wrong with you today?!!!

"Aww, you think I'm handsome~~~"

"QUIT IT!!!"

I started blushing madly... What the hell was happening to me?...

Well, I couldn't actually say that he wasn't looking good - he was well built, had a really nice, blonde haircut and golden, beautiful eyes... well, eye, but you get the idea! It looked like it was a gorgeous kind of sunset, like the one you see on the beach, when the sky is clear and the weather is warm...

Alright, I felt like I've been staring quietly at him for much longer than I planned, I needed to stop daydreaming about him...

"What, am I really so handsome, you're daydreaming about me?" He said with a smirk right as I thought about it...

Arghhhhh, of course! He's the dream demon after all, I guess daydreaming counts as well in that case...

"Nope, that's not it, Pinetree"

Wait, what the hell?!

I just can read your mind, silly~

"... seriously, Bill?..."

"What?" He said making an innocent face.

"Ughhh, nevermind. Just tell me what the hell just happened and why aren't you dead!"

"Ouch, straight to the point... not like you, though~" He stated winking at me and smirking like an idiot again.

"STOP IT, OKAY?!!!" I responded getting more and more angry by the second, but at the same time, blushing madly, probably now looking like a tomato...

"That is a pleasant comparison"

"Urghhh, could you PLEASE stop reading my mind already?!!!"

"Aww, you're no fun" The demon pouted.

Ughhh, he's INFURIATING!!!

"Okay, okay, I'll explain everything to you, just calm down already!"

God damnit, that bastard read my mind again!!!

"Do you want me not to, though?"

"You know, Bill, it would be kinda nice if yoU STOPPED DOING THAT BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY AND FAIR!!!"

"Alright, alright! What's with all the cursing though? Last time I saw you, you were one of the purest 13-year-olds I've ever seen. But anyway, let me start my story from the moment you and your sister left Gravity Falls."

He started talking about how he ended up being alive after we erased Stan's memory. He told me that, sure, he disappered with it, but when our grunkle fully recieved his memory back, which was about two years ago, he came back with it and was trapped in his stone statue. The only way he would be able to get out of there would be if someone made a deal with him.

"Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean by 'make a deal with you'? I didn't make any deal with you! Did I?..."

"Actually, you did. Just... kinda unconsciously" He said with a sheepish smile plastered on his face.

"...what do you mean?" I asked, boiling with anger, threatening to explode any moment.

"I-I mean that I got into your mind and made you do it..."

I was quite surprised because of his stutter, I thought Bill wasn't scared of anything...

"...what was the deal?" I was really on the edge now.

"Oh, it's actually not so bad, I think. It just makes me being trapped in my human form for as long as I find out what all the emotions work like for you, humans, and that's what you have to teach me. After I learn everything, I'll be able to do whatever I want again. I've been actually kinda curious what does world look like from your point of view." He answered, kinda cheerful at the end.

"Oh... that's actually not as bad as I thought... I would think that you'd make me your slave or some shit like that..."

"Really, Pinetree, where did all the cursing come from?!"

"Well, you can't be the purest and the most clueless person in this pointless world for your entire fucking life, can you?"

"...what did you get through throughout these four years?..."

I walked past him, clapping him on his shoulder and saying:

"Some dark shit."

*end of the flashback, back to present time*

So yeah, I think he's just stuck with me for eternity now, because I've tried almost everything and he still doesn't know how romantic love works. Actually, I'm not sure if I do as well... I've never actually loved anybody except my family, but as far as I know he's already familiar with that kind of love - he has a brother that goes by the name of William. Speaking of my love-life, yeah, yeah, I did have a crush on Wendy, but it wasn't love. It was just a summer crush. I was also suspecting something was happening between me and Pacifica, but as soon as she tried kissing me I came to a conclusion that I just felt flattered that she saved me, in... some sort of way and apologized to her for not being able to return her feelings. We're really good friends now, but earlier she didn't want to speak to me for almost a year. I'm not actually so surprised.

Yeah, I've tried almost everything to make Bill understand romantic love. I haven't tried one thing... Make him fall in love with me.

And, before you start asking about the reason behind this idea, I know how bad it might sound, but I kinda... fell in love with him last year. Now, I know that something like 'love at first sight' doesn't exist, but it wasn't that. I've known him for a while now actually, haven't I? It's just that his changed behavior and, yes, apperance, made some kind of switch flick in my heart. Sure, most of the time he's still annoying as hell, but he really did change. He used to be an asshole who never gave a shit about people's feelings, but now he's just so nice, sympathetic and... charming.

Yes, I do realize that might sound stupid, but that's just how I feel.

I don't actually have a plan of some kind yet, but I guess I'll just stop holding back my feelings and go with the flow...

~Bill~

I LOOOVE Pinetree!!! That was actually the real reason for the deal that I made with him. Well, that and I wanted to get out of that statue... Anyway, I just didn't understand what I was feeling all those years ago. Back then, when I was just an angry, evil, flat and floating Dorito, all I felt for everyone was hatred and pity, but when I first met Pinetree I felt something different, a feeling I couldn't quite put a name to. I just ignored it then and told myself it was just a stronger kind of hate. Well, I wasn't so wrong, because line between love and hatred is very thin, as they say.

Now, I know what you're gonna say: 'How do I, in the name of Myself, know what love is, if I'm still in this human form?' Well, I decided to stay in it for... I'm thinking maybe forever, because I wanna stay with my Pinetree until the end of the time <3.

Yes, I do know that he loves me back, because I've listened to his thoughts a few times... Okay, okay, maybe a few hundred times, I admit.

I know, I know, it's not fair, but I just couldn't stop myself.

Now, finally, after the author's wordflow, we're coming back to our main time.[Hey, Bill, don't ya expose me like that!!!~author's note] Okay, sorry, sorry.

"What'cha watchin', Pinetree?"

"Bill, leave me alone, you stupid dorito"

"Aww, but why?! I have nothing to do since no one except you is available to bother!!!"

"I mean... You can sit and watch Ducktective with me instead of bothering anyone..."

Pinetree said with a faint blush creeping up to his face. Awwww, he was just TOO CUTE!!!

"Hmm... Sure, why not" I responded, smiling widely at him.

"You're gonna have to make me some space, though" I added pulling him lightly off the armchair by his hand, sitting on it and making him sit in my lap with his back facing me.

"W-wait! What the h-hell do you think y-you're doing!!!" He exclaimed, stuttering and turning around so he could face me with a, now very visible and red, blush.

"Watching Ducktective with you, just like you asked" I smirked at him while saying that and still holding him close with my arms around his waist.

"...Asshole" He simply murmured, not having any idea what to say back to me.

"Oh, I don't really think you mean it, my dear~" I said, placing my one hand under his chin and getting closer and closer to his face.

He started blushing even more (if that was somehow possible), but didn't move the slightest bit.

"I-I..." He couldn't say anything, he just stared at me with huge embarrassment.

Within seconds I closed the gap between our lips and started kissing him, delicately at first, so he could get used to the feeling.

He didn't kiss back instantly and his eyes were wide open, but soon melted into the kiss letting his hands wander to my neck and his eyes to close.

I smiled slightly into the kiss, not breaking it, took Pinetree's hat off and started massaging his head with my hand. He quietly moaned at the feeling. I decided to scratch him very gently behind his ear. I didn't expect such a reaction he made.

~Dipper~

That bastard scratched me behind my ear!!! I never told anyone, but I have a weak spot there and when someone touches me there, I kinda... react like a...

"Awww, I wouldn't expect you'd react like a kitty~"

Yeah... I... made a purr-like sound...

AND I COULDN'T SEEM TO STOP!!!

It's just that... I was so pleased by that...

WAIT, DIPPER, WHAT IN THE FUCK?!!!

I was so torn for quite some time I didn't even realize his hand started going near my... crotch area...

"OH NO YOU DON'T, YOU SICK BASTARD"

I jumped off of him and accidentally fell to the ground while doing so.

"Eyyy, you're going down, princess!" He said laughing.

"Bill, it's not funny!" I said making a pouty face.

"Well, actually, it kinda is" he answered calming down a bit.

"No, it isn't. You wanna know why?! Because I love you, goddamnit, but I'm not ready for that yet..."

Wait... did I just tell him... Oh no.

"I know" he simply said, cheerfully as ever. "I just wanted to see your reaction. Oh, and I love you too" he smiled brightly at me.

Welp, I guess Bill was right after all.

I'm definitely not straight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey guys, sorry it took me so long, but it's finally done. A BillDip one shot requested by GracexWhite I hope you enjoy! 😁
As for now,

Bye bye my lovely psychopaths 😘😘😘