Declan's POV

I put down the phone and try to pull myself together. This could work. I get to packing immediately. I only pack the essentials. Nothing fancy. Then I grab my laptop and pack it in its case. I make sure I have the charger and everything that goes with the device. I do a quick checklist in my mind to make sure I have everything that I might need. Am I really doing this? Running away? I run my hands through my hair, messing it up further. What do I have here? There is absolutely nothing for me to stay for. I don't have real friends, and my family doesn't care about me or my feelings. I think of Hazel, can I leave her? What will happen to her if they find out she helped me. That is assuming that she would help me. I need to talk to Hazel. I walk up to my door and check the hallway. There is no one around. I close the door and pace around my room a few times. Do I dare go to her room? I might get caught. Would it be worse for her if she gets caught here in my room? Perhaps she doesn't know about what happened tonight... We've had dinner which means she should be in her room already, retired for the night. I decide to message her instead of going to her. I pick up my phone and message her, asking her to come up to my room. Hopefully she gets the message. I finish packing while I wait for Hazel.

"Declan?" Hazel whispers as she walks in.

"Hazel, I need your help, did you hear what happened?" I ask. Hazel nods and pulls me into a tight hug.

"What do you need Declan?" Hazel asks.

"I'm leaving tonight, I refuse to stay here and ignore my heart. My parents don't love me Hazel. Why should I stay here for them?" I ask. Hazel looks pained.

"They do love you Declan, in their own way. I just think your father is scared. He is in turmoil, I think if you give him a chance he may come around," Hazel says. I know she means well by defending them. She has been a part of this family longer than I have. She knows my parents very well and even though they may not treat her very well, she still respects them and sometimes I think she may even love them.

"I don't care, I'm leaving. I love a boy, he is everything I have ever wanted and he is willing to rescue me. I just need to get out of here. Is my car still parked outside?" I ask. Hazel holds my hand and smiles, there is sorrow in her eyes, she doesn't want to see me go.

"Yes, your car is still there. I'll help you get out of the house. As soon as your parents have retreated to their room I will come and get you. I will see you off," She says.

"Thank you Hazel," I say.

"Where will you go?" she asks.

"New York," I say.

"I will be back for you soon. Sit tight Declan," she says. I watch her leave my room and then fall onto my bed. Jessica jumps up next to me and makes her way onto my chest. She settles down and starts purring. I run my hand over her back and try to relax while I wait for Hazel to return. My phones vibrates and I jumps for it. It's a message from David.

I read through the message a few times.

"He will be in New York tomorrow morning Jessica, we're going to meet him love," I say. Jessica purrs loudly and I smile.

To: @david.C

From: @alwaysalone16

Davy,

I can't wait to be with you, I will be there waiting for you. Hazel is going to help me. She said my car is still here. She will sneak me out after my parents have gone to bed.

Not long now my darling, travel safe.

I love you.

Yours,

Declan

I don't know where I am finding the strength for all of this. I wonder is his mom had a problem with me going there? He said he didn't want to phone because the walls might have ears. Do we not have her support? It feels like I have been waiting for Hazel to return for hours. Why is it taking so long? Why are my parents still awake? They usually go to bed rather early.

My door bangs open and I sit up straight, Jessica falls off the bed but lands safely on her feet.

"Declan," my father is standing in the doorway. This can't be good.

"Father," I say. My voice is shaking.

"Can you tell me why Hazel has been skulking around the halls? You aren't planning anything are you? I know how close you are with her," father says. He eyes my bags on the floor. He tuts and shakes his head.

"Please father, let me go. I don't belong here anymore," I say. Father narrows his eyes at me. My mother appears behind my father and she glares daggers at me.

"You were going to run away?" mother says. I avoid looking her in the eyes.

"I... I don't belong here anymore," I repeat myself.

"You were going to run away, you let Hazel risk her job to help you," mother says.

"Where is Hazel?" I ask.

"I have removed her from the house. I escorted her back to her room and had her pack her things. She has been let go Declan. She lost her job because of you," father says.

"No," I whisper.

"You say you don't belong here anymore?"father says. I am too scared to reply. I only nod.

"Then we have the perfect solution," mother says.

"What... what are you talking about?" I ask. What are they planning? What will become of me?

"Since you feel like you don't belong here anymore, it works out perfectly that we are sending you away, far away," father says. My heart sinks.

"Where?" I ask. I feel utterly defeated. There is no way out of this. I will be controlled by my parents no matter what.

"Cheshire, England."

If it weren't for the circumstances I may have been excited. England, I have always wanted to go there, back to my family's heritage. I would fit in with the people. Hopefully.

"You will be staying with family, you will have a private tutor and you will only be permitted to leave the house when accompanied by one of your cousins," father says. So I will be under house arrest in a different country.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask.

"We will do everything in our power to keep you and that boy away from each other," mother says.

"So your answer is to abandon me in a different country?" I ask.

"Your father told you to wait for his next instructions. He was thinking of a way to handle this delicately. Instead of being an obedient boy, you planned on running away. We can't trust you Declan," mother says.

"And I can trust neither of you," I say.

"You will be leaving tomorrow morning, they are preparing a room for you. You will be very comfortable. They have a library and you will be surrounded by nature. I think you could be very happy there," mother says. Does she really think I could be happy? I will never be happy.

"How long will I be there?" I ask. All emotion has left my voice. I feel empty.

"For as long as it takes. We can discuss everything again after you have been there for a full year," father says.

"That is an awfully long time to be away from home," I say.

"You said it yourself boy, you don't belong here anymore," father says.

"We will be taking your phone and computer now, you will find everything you need there. If you try to contact the boy while you are there, we will know," mother says. She leans over me and takes my phone and laptop bag.

"You are already more or less packed, if there is anything else you wish to take, see that you pack it in tonight. Try to get some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day for you," mother says. I don't speak. I refuse to speak to them.

"We will leave you now," father says.

"Goodnight son," mother says. I ignore them both and watch as my door closes shut behind them. I hear a turn of a key and I know they have locked me in.

There's no escaping now. I grab a pillow and scream into it with all my might. David is going to get off that plane tomorrow morning. I won't be there, I will be boarding a plane of my own. One that will take me away from him. He won't know and I have no idea how I can let him know what happened. I only realise how I have started to cry when the gasping starts. I feel like I can't breathe. When I think there are no more tears to give, more comes.

How am I to carry on? I have no idea where I am going. I may know the destination but I have never met this family. I don't know them. I will be surrounded by strangers. Strangers that will do everything my father tells them to.

"No," I say. I am shocked by the sound of my own voice. I don't sound like myself anymore. Who am I? I am reminded of David's questions. Who am I, who do I want to be? What do I want to be? The answers to those questions will have to change because I have to change. I have to become someone else. If I want to escape this world, I will have to play their game. I will have to be one of them. Truly. I start to cry again as I think of everything.

I got Hazel fired, the only woman who has ever loved me like a mother. What I would give to have her here now, to be held by her while she sings to me. I start humming the song and the words escape my mouth as I cry, shaky and broken between sobs. I hold myself tightly. My arms wrapped around my chest. I try to comfort myself but I feel nothing, nothing but pain. If anything it makes it worse because i know the comfort is a lie. I am lying to myself. I have always been lying to myself. What is there to be done when everything is ripped away? The only thing I can do is lie, I will continue to lie...hopefully they will believe me. The more believable I am the faster i can get out of this mess. Then maybe I will still get to see him one day. I will keep the hope. I know his heart will be broken, he will think that I have left him in the lurch. He will think I have chosen them over him. I will remain hopeful that he will still think of me, he will still love me. I know I am a fool to think he might even wait for me.

Voices in my head creep out, they tell me I am stupid, I am foolish. I was foolish to fall in love, because how can anybody love me in return? He will not wait for me, because he will be waiting for a ghost. A ghost of a boy he once loved.

No, there is no hope. There is only darkness and hopelessness. I am alone once again. I will always be alone.

I will invite the darkness in, I will allow it to shape me. I will pourit into every area of my life. I will still paint and draw. I will grow in mychosen passions. I will show the world my secrets, my yearnings without myparents knowing. I will paint a canvas with the blood from my wounds. This painwill make me stronger.