no one taught me how to mourn

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i want to say things no one has ever said before
i want to be the body you see falling off the roof
i can't say the things no one has said before
in case god hears these desires and makes them come true.

i want to be kissed in the dark
i want to be dizzy by the end of it
almost faint as i'm lifted off the ground
but i know it ain't love if i don't let it be love
would i rather be a body that's been loved
or a body that's been found?

who will remember me as the mystery i am
other than me?
will i be the one to find my own body
in the street?

i know deep inside me
that i'll either die or be loved
and honestly, it's easier to die.
i found my own body in the woods or in the streets,
doesn't matter,
i still stare into its lifeless eyes.
i always knew i'll someday die or be loved,
until then,
i must stare at my own body and learn to cry

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