~betrayal
/bɪˈtreɪəl/
the action of betraying one's country, a group, or a person; treachery~

~eddy~

"i thought you were strong," a familiar voice called out. "you had worse when you were younger, you became weak!" the voice spat out. eddy looked up at the man, it was leslie, except his soft comforting voice was replaced by an angry voice filled with betrayal. the words cut through eddy like paper. the shrieks bounced around in his head. "what have you become?" the man whispered in his ear. those words tore eddy to shreds and hurt him more than anything else.

eddy's body pulsed. he was being kicked all over again. he writhed in pain and agony. his body jolted every time he was kicked, which just lead him to another strike of pain. the shoes dug into his cuts and they felt worse than before. he was trying to tune out of all the words and laughs that flew out of their mouths, but they all stayed, and one was extra prominent. "who's going to help you now, weakling?" the voice spat with disgust. the words rebounded in eddy's head and he tried to shake them out.

spiteful words were spoken and masses of laughter rung in his head. he coughed and felt blood coming up his throat but nothing came out. he felt his skin being scraped off and blood covering his entire body yet the blood never flowed. he so desperately wanted to blood to flow, to release his problems, but they only stayed in him.

"pshhh, why was i ever friends with you?" a familiar voice rung out. "you're so much trouble," he scolded. brett...? he got a hard kick in the face from him. "i can't believe i came to see if you're better, just to find yourself being kicked by a bunch of 12 year olds." tears began slowly rolling down eddy's cheeks. the lullabies didn't mean anything if brett hated him. "oh look! it's eddy being kicked. how pitiful," a female voice teased. memories came flooding back to him as to why he stayed in this state. toni scoffed and she spat on him. "oops!" she giggled. eddy heard brett chuckle as well, and he just crumpled up into a ball.

his scars that were healing were torn apart. he ripped at his skin and felt the blood stream down his skin. he tore his hair out and wanted to scream. he wanted to scream all his troubles out and let them out, but not a sound came from his mouth when he opened it.

why won't the universe let him know?

~brett~

he. is. fine. brett thought to himself. he leaned his head against the door with his hand resting on the handle. he desperately wanted to open the door, but he held himself against it every time the urge came. don't open the door. he gripped the handle tightly. brett found himself standing there for ages.

1, 2, 3, 4. count the beats. listen to the rhythm. let your focus drift. don't open that door. 1, 2, 3, 4. his hand drifted away from the handle and he stood there with his forehead leaning against the door. brett let his mind flow through mozart violin concerto no. 3 and he drifted with the music. his hand moved with the music and he found himself on his own bed when he snapped out of his mind. nothing happened, no screaming, no yelling and no loud noises. brett stared down at the floor with shaking hands. the house usually isn't this quiet.

the silence crawled in his head and teased him. the lingering sound of nothingness danced around him and the empty echoes poked at his mind. brett wanted the silence to fly away, and it did, but they left him lonely, not a thing to play with him. the air around him stilled and the teasing ceased. he wanted a sound, wanted anything to have the atmosphere feel less lonely, but the stillness remained. 

brett finally mustered up the strength to do something. he went to go practice violin, but it felt foreign. his fingers were weak and couldn't press on the strings, his bow was shaky and his wrists felt limp. muscle memory couldn't help, for his fingers would slip and his bow would slide. he hadn't touched his violin in so long, it felt like starting from scratch. 

he took a deep breath in and remembered all the times he played, during practice where he hated scales, during orchestra rehearsals and hearing the shouting of the conductor when someone played the wrong dynamics, in auditions where he was extremely nervous or during a live concert, when playing duets with eddy.

eddy.

that's why brett still decides to stay in this house. brett breathed out and began playing. he had no idea what, but he let muscle memory take over. beautiful melodies came from the violin, all while he was thinking about how wonderful his life is, no, was. the feeling of happiness and love flowed through the waves of the music and heartbroken sounds scratched out. he felt eddy's presence in the playing, he heard his voice and his beautiful laughter. the playing may have been broken, but the feeling inside brought an indescribable sound and story.

brett felt his heart being poured out. he would've given up by now, but eddy dragged him to stay. brett played for no one but him, and the sound of love exploded from the instrument. he reminded himself that eddy was okay. something tugged at him when he thought that but he was so lost in his own thoughts and music.

the universe tries as hard as they can, but he won't listen