It's hurtful.

After years, the truth revealed. I am no one. I am not her friend.

It's true that we start everything not in the right thing. I still remember how she approached me, looking at me with her catlike eyes, smirking and begin to mock my misery.

The bullied nerd in high school. Where everyone always laughing at everything I have, everything I do, for body shaming me, for making me hate to be me.

They said I am a stranger who don't deserve to live around their world. My eyes just too round, my nose too good to be natural one, my body just too skinny, it's like, everything is wrong in me.

I was wondering if can survive, but it's just the end of 2nd grade when they pull a great prank for me. It's hurt. It's always hurt. Until I want to die.

Until the most popular girl in the school come to approach me, who's now holding a broken glass piece, ready to cut the life pulse on my right wrist. She stands there and just saying nothing. I was afraid.

But she offers me, to take revenge. And I took the chance. I change in the name of her, Kim Jennie. My muse, my inspiration, my friend. Or at least it was what I thought.

I begin with my outfit, I make the persons who bully me envy, I took their lover and make them heart broken. I-

am a satan, thats what they call me.

I am happy to be with her, feel safe and strong around her. But I should go, after he destroy me.

The curious Kim Kai, Kim Jennie's crush who is curious to bend me down on my knees because I never fall for anyone before. And to my bad, I surrender on him.

He fucks me. And then show my naked back side to his friends as the proof, I saw him taking the money from their bet, behind the door of the library. My heart is broken. I was believing in him, that he loves me, that he cares of me. And I just know at the prom night that, Kim Jennie, the queen bee, loves him too.

I still remember every touch of him, every kiss, everything. And it makes me hate myself more, it makes me disgusted to be touch by a man. I flinch every time, I had the nightmare when he practically rapes me when I told him to stay away. I am depressed and mentally unstable. That I run away. From everything. And learn how to handle my mental sickness, thats what make me learn more and more about medice. I am in love with them.

I flew to Thailand, Bangkok and studied to become a surgery, I did it. I have a job, I love them. I feel happy everytime I help someone to cure their illness, to paint smile on their family's face. But the world keep on joking on me.

I-

failed to save someone that I count as a friend, my last patient.

I am a useless rat. I kill someone. And I try to run away from the reality, I flew back to Seoul, being happy to attend Kim Jennie's wedding. Its not Kai. I am happy. I wish her to live happily.

And now, I am trapped, I only the one who can make the pain of my best friend's husband away when me myself have this illness. But the strange thing is, I feel safe at every of his touch. Maybe because he is too kind. Or no?

I hate to say this, even if I say I won't sacrifice my friendship, even if my mouth says that, but my heart wants me to stay and hug him.

My heart likes him. Love him, probably.

And it all wrong.

Now, I am so confused what to do after Jennie not count me as a friend, moreover she cheats with someone who destroy my life, what should I do with Jungkook?

--
"Doctor Jin, you have visitor." He looks up and checking his watch to see that his work hour already over. "I am so sorry, but this lady asking me to tell you, her name."

"Nugu?" He asks while sighing, not believing that he will come home late again to leave Jisoo sulking.

"Lisa."

-
"Lis." He greets her more of surprise, it's their first meet after what had happen 4 weeks ago. She nods and give him an apologetic smile. "Its nice to see you here."

"Me too, oppa." She said and handshaking him. "Its been weeks, and I am sorry for what I did."

"No sorry. No. I understand where you stand." He said taking her to the sofa in his office. "We were all just too emotional to control what we say."

"How's him?" She ask straight forward make Jin smiling.

"I know that you are not bad. You still care."

"I know this is wrong, but I can't help." She bites her lips and begin to play her nails to distract her guilt.

"He is fine. He charges from the hospital 3 weeks ago. He is still in his pills. He did weekly checkup, and therapy too." She smiles to hear those information, her heart feel the load slightly moved. She can breath now. "But no, honestly he is not that fine. He is breathing, not alive. I think he felt disappointed to something or can I say someone?" He said more like a question make Lisa bowing her head.

"I hurt him, didn't I?"

"You do." Jin said flatly. It's kind of him to stay friendly with her, but the fact that his junior become worst after talking with her make his heart feel uneasy now. He doubts her. "Now why you comeback?"

--
"Your pulse is okay. Everything is fine, good. The dose exactly fit. But we still see if it will affect you." Said Jin as Jungkook end his therapy schedule. The younger keep on looking at his hyung face with his poker face. "Don't fall to my face." And it makes the younger snorted and look away. The older laughing after saying those shameless words. "Keep strong, Kookie."

"Hyung." He looks at the younger, while helping him to dismiss the medical wire from his body.

"Hmm?"

"Can I be loved?"