CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE;

UNREQUITED LOVE

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As Cassie descended into sleep, she wished mercilessly that the Dreamless Sleep potion she had dosed herself with would take effect and guard her subconscious from the hauntings of the past that had plagued her too frequently for her liking.

   She drifted off nearly an hour after the other three girls in her dormitory had, only for her to realize that the Dreamless Sleep concoction was a fraud. Well, probably it was the fact that it was she who had made it – maybe, if she had gotten Slughorn to draft the potion for her, it would have taken more effect than it did on this particular night.

   Cassie found herself back in the room she always began in, when dreaming – the Department of Mysteries, only she was not alone. Atticus and Cedric were hugging in the corner, behind the arch; Adelaide and Sirius were clinging to each other with the hope only true love provided...

   Then, Cassie turned to see the now-familiar sight of a very clearly aged-up Harry embracing an equally as aged-up Cassie. Both were not but a few years older than current-day Cassie – maybe two or three, at most – but Cassie watched as Harry practically wrapped himself around older-Cassie, seemingly unable to get enough of her.

She never knew whether or not this dream truly told the future. How could it? Three of its starring members were dead.

   Cassie squeezed her eyes shut and returned her attention to her parents, who had both sunken to the floor yet were still holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it. Cassie tilted her head to the side and watched as her father lifted a hand to wipe a tear from Adelaide's cheek.

He whispered something to her, but Cassie was either too far to hear what was said, or her dream did not want her to find out.

Cassie trailed her eyes over to Atticus and Cedric, both boys red-eyed. They gazed at each other as if seeing the other for the first time. Then, Atticus said something to Cedric, and it must have been very Atticus-like, because both boys broke into laughter. The sight almost brought a smile to Cassie's face. Almost.

   Because a moment later, there was a flash of light, and Adelaide was cradling Sirius's dead body whilst Atticus was staring blankly into Cedric's lifeless eyes. The older versions of Cassie and Harry dissipated and left Cassie alone, gazing mistily at the four figures before her. Tears pooled in her eyes.

   It was only a dream, she reminded herself. It felt foolish of her to be so worked up over something her own mind created, yet at the same time, she felt too frozen in place to force herself to wake.

She waited anxiously for the next phase of her dream to begin. The first and second scenes had just finished, so where was the third? It was always the same... Yet this time, after Sirius and Cedric died, it did not change, like usual.

Instead, Atticus looked directly to Cassie. Shock first took place on his face, then relief, then urgency. "Cassie!" he shouted, his voice echoey in the large and empty atrium. His eyes shown with grief and misery. "Cassie, please – please, I'm– I'm sorry, about everything! Please, I can't–"

   She was sucked from her dream and awoke with a start, letting out a yelp of surprise when she opened her eyes to see Hermione's face merely inches from her own.

   "Cassie?" said Hermione frantically. "Cassie! What's wrong?"

   Cassie became suddenly aware of her pajamas sticking to her chest and bedsheets damp with sweat. She lifted a hand to her heart and felt her own pulse racing beneath her touch. Her eyes looked to Hermione for help.

"What is it?" Hermione urged, taking hold of Cassie's head in her hands and looking into her eyes. "Cassie, you've been writhing in bed! What is it?"

"A-Atticus," she stammered, licking her lips to rid them of the chapped feeling, "a-and my dad, and C-Cedric – all of them, they all... Merlin, Hermione, they're all gone.."

"It's alright, Cassie," Hermione insisted in a soft yet firm voice, pulling the girl's head into her chest and cradling her. "It's okay, it was only a nightmare."

   "It wasn't!" Cassie shook her head, pulling away from Hermione, her eyes wide with determination. "They're all.. they're all dead, 'cause of me. That's not only a nightmare; that's real life, Hermione! Atticus, my dad, Cedric... Th-they're dead, they're gone, it's my fault–"

   She broke off, her gaze focusing in on Hermione again. "I'm– I'm going to go get some.. tea," Cassie decided, her voice much quieter than before. "Sorry to.. wake you."

She removed herself from Hermione's arms and ignored the girl's protests for Cassie to return that instant, instead leaving the dormitory and descending the stairs into the common room. Though it was well past three in the morning, the fire was still roaring brightly as ever and there were still sweets sitting in open containers around the couches (Cassie knew better than to take candy from these boxes; they were practically labeled with Weasley Wizard Wheezes). Cassie took a seat in the armchair closest to the fireplace and allowed herself to be immersed in the heat spreading from the flames.

   Until the staircase behind her creaked and she jumped to alert.

   "I didn't mean to scare you," Harry said, holding his hands up in a defensive gesture. He nodded toward her wand, a nervous half-smile on his face. "You– you can put the wand away."

   Cassie dropped her arm and collapsed back into the chair, her gaze back on the fireplace. "What on earth are you doing up?"

   "I could easily ask you the same question."

   Cassie merely exhaled a dignified puff of air as Harry took a seat by her side. She felt his eyes on her, but made no move to turn to face him. "Well?" he asked after a brief moment. "Are you going to answer it?"

"Answer what?" she muttered in reply, blurry eyes focused on the dancing flames.

"What you're doing awake so early."

"Oh," she said simply, turning her head to face him for a moment before exhaling a defeated sigh and rubbing her eyes. "Can't sleep."

"Is that the problem?" Harry mused. "Or is it that you can sleep?" He took her silence as invitation to elaborate. "I– I have nightmares, too, Cassie. We all do."

"Hermione doesn't," she replied quickly. "And.. and Ginny never woke up during the night when I stayed with her at the Burrow..."

   "Ginny survived a whole year being possessed by Voldemort himself. I'll be damned if she doesn't get nightmares."

   "They haven't been affecting me as much until recently," Cassie said, her voice softer than a whisper. "Hermione said, a couple nights ago, that it's my mind trying to cope."

   "It could be," Harry agreed, nodding.

   "But.. but I thought I was coping well enough already," she continued, a slight frown on her lips as she continued gazing into the fire. "I cried – I cried, and.. and I moved on..."

   Harry shifted. The couch he sat on creaked as he leaned forward, eyes locked on Cassie. For once, as she looked over and caught his stare, he did not look away; but instead held eye contact with her for a moment.

"It's alright," she murmured, managing a soft smile, "I know you don't pride yourself in being able to comfort emotional people. Especially girls."

His look of overdramatic hurt brought an involuntary laugh from her lips, and he quickly grinned. "Haven't heard that sound in a while."

"Sure you have."

"I may have, but I don't know how long it's been since it was genuine," he countered in a soft voice, raising his eyebrows a bit. "It's alright to laugh, Cassie. You know that, right?"

   She studied his eyes as silence fell over the pair. The brilliant green that she had come to know so well shown different shades, reflecting the firelight in a dazzling emerald green, then swiftly flickering back to a neutral sage. In response to his question, Cassie gave the faintest nod of her head.

   "So..," said Harry, in a manner that suggested he had been waiting to bring this up, "Nott, huh?"

"Theo?" Cassie asked, her brow creased in confusion. "What about him?"

"He keeps looking at you all funny," said Harry. "Like, in Potions the other day."

Cassie, much too weary to break into an argument, plastered a smile on her face. "Not jealous, are you, Potter?"

"Jealous?" Harry repeated, much too quickly, with a scoff. "Psh. No, not me. Not jealous. Not at all. But, just to be sure... you don't fancy him, right?"

   "Who's to say?" she mused, shrugging and widening her eyes to add to the affect. Harry paled and sat up straight, lips opening and closing to stammer out an argument. Cassie managed a soft laugh, shaking her head. "Bloody hell, Harry, it's so easy to make you nervous. Lighten up."

Harry exhaled a short laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Right," he agreed breathily, nodding. "Right, so easy." His eyes searched the common room desperately for a distraction and landed on a box of sweets on the table. "Fancy a toffee?"

A few minutes and a couple pieces of toffee later, Cassie had her head on Harry's shoulder and was nearly asleep. Between the warmth of the fire, the exhaustion of not gaining much sleep within the past week, and Harry's fingers soothingly combing through her hair, she could easily have slept for days.

   So it was quite a startling factor when Harry suddenly announced that he fancied her.

Cassie's jaw went slack. Now wide awake, she stumbled from the couch and stared at Harry in shock. Of course, she had known for a while – Hermione had told her – yet hearing it from Harry's own mouth was a completely different story.

   "I've fancied you since I met you," he continued, seemingly unable to stop himself. "Ever since I laid my eyes on you, in Diagon Alley, just before third year. I haven't realized it until recently, but, Merlin, you... you're perfect."

"Harry–"

"And everything that's happened to you – everything that makes you feel like you're worthless or– or lesser than, or something – it doesn't." Harry shook his head, eyes wide with urgency. "It– it's what makes you, you. You've grown because of it. And all the times I've been an idiot – too many to count –, you always forgive me, because you– you're so perfect, Cassie. You're not ruined because of what happened to you; you're a billion times stronger."

   When Harry finished, his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. The tension in the air was as thick – yet just as sweet – as honey. Cassie studied Harry for a long, drawn-out, silent moment, before she moved to inspect the box of toffees from which they had been snacking on. She flipped it over to read the label, and her stomach fell through to her toes;

   "Weasley's Wizards Wheezes is proud to present True-Tonguing Toffee," she read aloud, before dropping the box onto the couch and exhaling her dignity. "Well, I suppose it's my turn, then."

   "You don't have to say–"

   "I do, quite literally," she replied, clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders. "I fancied you. Third and fourth year – I told you, actually, in fourth year. But you said that you asked me to the Yule Ball as friends, remember? I accepted it, moved on with my life... Until you kissed me last year. I–" She furrowed her brow in concentration as she attempted to put her thoughts into a coherent string of words. "Truthfully, I don't know why I let you do it. My feelings for you as children were just that – childish. I haven't thought about you like that in years, Harry. But.. really, you didn't expect me to wait around for years, standing idly by while you snog Cho Chang in the Room of Requirement, did you?"

   "No, of course not–"

   "I don't blame you for your feelings," she continued over his words. "Hell, I've literally been in your shoes. I'm sorry. I think.. I think we could work, maybe – eventually. After the war, right? If.."

   She broke off. It didn't need to be said aloud. Both Harry and Cassie knew what she would have said; If they won. If Voldemort didn't take over. If they both made it out alive.

"So, for now..." She inhaled a sharp breath and gave Harry a half-smile while avoiding meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry, Harry. I am."

   "It's alright." Harry swallowed and nodded his head, managing a smile. "I'm sorry. I–I should get back to bed, then.. Goodnight, Cass."

   He swiftly left the common room, head lowered as he passed her. Cassie stared at the spot where he had stood. She squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled a quick breath, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

   She didn't return to bed for the rest of the night.