-Riley-

"Kill him."

I felt the ice-cold grip of the pistol in my hand. My finger gently stroked its trigger, quivering unstoppably. The pistol felt... heavy. Heavier than usual.

The last time holding a gun had felt like that, was the time I'd shot Rick.

Perhaps it wasn't the gun that was heavy - perhaps it was the weight of the decision I was about to make. It would take another life; the life of the boy I loved. But Negan was stood beside me, waiting, impatiently.

The iron sights swayed up and down Carl's body as a result of my trembles. The young Grimes didn't really care whether I killed him or not - as far as he was concerned, I had murdered his father; it shouldn't present much difficulty for me to kill again.

I had promised Negan I would return his favor - "I help you, then you help me" - that was exactly what he'd said, and judging by his unpredictability, the tyrannical leader would gladly kill me if I disobeyed him.

To summarize the situation in a single, blunt sentence, this was a decision between my life and Carl's.

But then, a bleak reality suddenly struck me: Carl still had something to live for - I didn't.

That infant he was carrying earlier; whose to say it wasn't his sister? He claimed she was dead, but he admitted there was no proof. Regardless, he also has Michonne to look out for him, and vice versa. And then there's Carol, who being her typical motherly self, has probably stayed behind to look after the aforementioned baby - she and Carl, too, were essentially family.

I wouldn't know what that felt like; having something to live for.

And that cruel reality was what transformed this once tough decision into a blatantly obvious one.

"Riley, remember what you promised me?" Negan reminded me in a fierce growl, "I won't ask again: kill him!" 

I did at that moment, what I should have done three months before.

I released my grip on the pistol, and there were three extreme expressions showing simultaneously: Carl's expression, one of confusion and intrigue but primarily relief - Negan's, one of betrayal and anger; I feared his reaction more than anyone's - and finally, and most perplexingly, at the other end of the room was Michonne's; she looked... sorry for me.

It was as though she had suddenly discovered that I truly hadn't meant to kill Rick. It appeared to be brief glance of forgiveness and apology - but that was only what it appeared to be.

It could have easily been a misconception, and since my identification of Michonne's emotions was only a few seconds long, that theory was certainly a plausible one.

Judging from Negan's look of pure rage, I wouldn't live to find out either way.

"You were right, Negan," I dared to speak up - if the Saviors' leader was to kill me at any rate, I might as well speak my mind first - "accidents do happen, and I've had too many of them already."

Negan was clearly infuriated by this, even more so by the fact that I didn't fear his response as he expected me to. 

"Oh believe me," he smirked, motioning for one of his guards to walk over to me, "you've just had the biggest accident of your life."

I turned to face the guard, who raised the butt of his machine gun and struck me sluggishly around the side of my head. 

It was a predictable motion; one that I could easily have dodged if I really cared that much - but Carl didn't care for me, and neither did Michonne or anyone else that I'd considered to be my family, and now Negan wanted me dead too - so the fact was, I didn't care. 

Not anymore.

"The biggest, and your last," Negan laughed as I hit the floor, my vision beginning to blur and his menacing voice distorting as a pounding headache began battering my skull.

I gradually slipped out of consciousness - each throb of pain from the headache feeling like a hammer being hit around my temple - but not before I heard Negan once again.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Monroe," he growled, before firing a permanent shot into the elderly leader's head.

Fortunately, I was able to skip the gory details of the execution, as my vision finally faded to black.

My only regret was that I wasn't able to say goodbye to my newly reunited boyfriend, but knowing that he was still alive was satisfactory enough for me.

For now, at least, it would have to be.