"And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me.
Shine until tomorrow, let it be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Just... go ahead whenever you're ready, Angel."

James gave a soft sigh. Any other time, he'd be grinning at how Bell was curled up in Sirius' lap, letting him stroke her brown hair in a comforting manner, but today, James just didn't have it in him. Bell had barely spoken to him- to anyone, for that matter -in the last day and a half. Even the merry moods of Persephone and Remus at their blossoming relationship were dampened by their friend's low spirits. Not that they blamed her, of course, they only felt bad for her loss. Speaking of... that was exactly what the three of them had to discuss now. James wasn't sure where to start. He knew it was necessary that they did speak, and that Bell be helped through her grief, but still, what does one say to a girl who's just become an orphan?

An orphan. James hadn't thought about it like that before, and he gave a visible start. He'd known for a long while that Bell's mum was dead, but he hadn't considered that her father's death would leave her... alone. No. Not alone. She still had her sister. Joan, no, Joanne, that was her name, and Joanne's partner. Both were adults. They would take care of Bell. And so would James. And Sirius. And Lily, and Marlene, and all the rest of their friends, of course. Because that's what friends did. Lift each other up, even if they couldn't ever really know the other's grief.

It took her a good few minutes of thinking, but when Bell was, in fact, ready, she spoke in a low voice, not quite monotone, but almost. "I wasn't that friendly to him, lately." Her eyes were closed and Sirius was looking down at her with a gaze that would have been tranquil were it not for the furrow of his brow. Bell took a deep breath. "He was... he had issues. With drinking."

James frowned. Sirius glanced up, his own expression tightening up, almost in anger. James could tell why. He too was frustrated at Bell's father, though he knew it wasn't much fair. An alcoholic, the man was, James had known that for some time (why Bell rarely touched any alcohol except for butterbeer), and he'd always thought Bell didn't deserve a father like that. And that he didn't deserve a daughter like her. So forgiving, despite her qualms of his addiction. A part of him knew the man didn't mean to be taken by the drink, and that he likely wasn't deserving of it either, but his sympathy at the moment only extended to the girl sitting on the bed beside his, looking so small in Sirius' lap, her hazel eyes still closed to the world.

"But when I was a kid, he and I were pretty close. We'd go out and see the football teams from the public schools practicing. I used to like the sport then. It's a Muggle one. You kick around a ball into a net- it probably explains why I like Quidditch, they're pretty similar." A slight smile came onto Bell's face. James' own lips quirked up, not because of the sport he hadn't a clue about, but because she was finally managing to give a real smile again. She was healing.

"I don't think he meant to start drinking so much. At first, he hid it. Jo- Joanne -and I would find flasks stashed in the laundry baskets, on the top shelf of the pantry, which I couldn't reach yet but Jo could. At first, I didn't worry much. Jo did. She said he should stop. She told him to his face to keep all that alcohol out of the house. He ignored her. Then I started finding the bottles." Bell swallowed, like it was hard for her to go on, and Sirius' arm came around her waist to hold her hand. James smiled softly at how she gently squeezed his hand in thanks before continuing. "They were bigger than the flasks, by a lot. And the only reason Jo didn't see was that she never went down into the basement. I did a lot, when I was cleaning out my room, redecorating one summer. Bringing boxes down of my kid stuff. I was thirteen."

James did remember when Bell had said she wanted to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays in third year but he'd convinced her to spend the break at the Potters'. It had been a wonderful time, as far as he remembered, and Bell often came with him for the holidays since, with Sirius joining them for a few days last year. That reminded him of the surprise for their friend James and Bell had already started to plan for these upcoming holidays- but no, he should stay on track, listen to the rest of what Bell had to say.

"That was the year Joanne moved out. She said she didn't want to be connected with a man who only brought suffering onto those around him and didn't want to be helped. I think she was wrong, but only in one way- I think Dad did want help, but he just wasn't strong enough by then to take what was offered." Bell sighed. James realized it was the first time in four years that she'd referred to her father as 'Dad'. "And so Joanne left, and it was just the two of us. And over the summers I'd try to spend as little time in the house as possible." Her eyes finally opened. They were red and weary, but there was a sense of acceptance about her, that she was ready to come to terms with her father's death, or at least game to try.

"The rest, you both know." Bell sat up and the side of James' mouth quirked up when he saw how she didn't move off Sirius' lap. His dark-haired friend grinned at him, the dimple on the left side of his smile appearing, from behind Bell's head and it took a good deal of James' self-control not to make a teasing joke at their closeness right now. "And I think in a few days' time I'll be alright. Not completely over it, of course, that'll take time-" In saying this, Bell's quiet wisdom manifested, and James, not for the first nor the last time, appreciated her sage maturity. "-but I know I'll be fine, and then better, and then good again."

Sirius, who had, for the last few seconds, been staring with a wide smile at his and Bell's clasped hands, looked up and his gaze flickered to the Marauder's Map, which sat, blank at the moment, on Remus' absurdly-neat desk. "Well, Angel," he said, running a hand through his hair, and Bell leaned against his shoulder as she turned her head to look up at him. He paused and James stifled a laugh at how Sirius Black, the Hogwarts heartbreaker, still could go speechless when he was holding Bellamy Roac in his arms. 

"You know I'm an animagus now," went on Sirius after a beat, leaning back a bit against the headboard of his bed, and James half-wished he had Bell's camera with him to capture this image. She was sitting on his lap, legs drawn up toward herself, and her head leaned against his lower shoulder. Sirius had one arm around her waist, holding her hand, and the other he half-balanced himself on against the bed. They looked quite cozy, and James almost got up to get Peter's big purple blanket ('The Purple' as it had thus been dubbed) and wrap it around them. Almost.

"Yes. And I have two questions." James and Sirius shared a look. How could they reply to her in honesty without giving Remus away? There was a fine, fine line here. Bell glanced between them, and to James' surprise, she gave a soft sigh. "They're not prying or anything, alright?" The boys nodded. "Firstly, how did you find me in the tunnel?" This was directed at Sirius.

"Map," was the response, and James was already relieved. One question down- and if that's what Bell meant by 'not prying', they'd be fine.

"Yes, but I thought the passageways themselves weren't drawn out on the Map." Bell tilted her head up a bit at Sirius. James wondered, if they'd ended up in that position at another time with less sorrow, if Sirius would finally take the chance to kiss the girl he'd fancied for over three years. 

"You'd be right about that, Angel, except Prongs here and I decided to map them out at the end of last year, after that time we were nearly caught by Lockhart while sneaking out to Hogsmeade."

"Lucky thing we had the cloak."

Quiet nothings of agreement all around. "My second question: you-" This inquiry was for James, if he understood the way Bell nodded her chin at him as she spoke. "-and Peter are animagi too, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he replied, his nonchalance stemming from his relief that she hadn't added Remus into that question, "betcha can't guess what."

"A moose and a possum."

Sirius burst out laughing and James scrunched up his nose. "A moose? C'mon, Bell, you think I-" He gave a dramatic gesture at his appearance and then proceeded to push up his glasses on his nose. "-such a handsome specimen of British fellows, resemble a moose?" Bell started laughing too and leaned back into Sirius' chest a bit more. James, though he chose not to mention it, most certainly noticed the way the pair's eyes met, how their laughter swelled at the same moment, and the chance Sirius took to slip his other arm around Bell's waist, holding her to him- a gamble which clearly paid off, as she didn't pull away, only brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and managed to tame her giggles.

"No, no, you're something like an elk or a stag, and Peter's a mouse."

"A rat," corrected Remus, coming into the room, grinning.

"You overheard?"

"I think you would be a fantastic moose, James." Laughter went all around this time despite how James pretended to be offended and tossed a pillow at his scar-faced friend. 

"Where's Persephone?"

"Studying in the Common Room. I came up to fetch my bookbag."

"Well, why don't you wait up here for a bit, and soon enough I'm sure she'll come looking for her, and we'll clear out and you can snog each other silly."

The pillow that Remus had quite easily caught from James throwing it at him now came sailing through the air at Bell and Sirius, the former of whom had made the comment, grinning, as the latter mimed smooching into the air. James was now cackling with laughter now, and another familiar face poked his head in the room.

"What'd I miss?"

"Only that Bell knows about our animagi forms now," admitted Sirius, and Peter entered the room, quickly shutting the door behind him.

"And I won't ask any more questions about it," added Bell, to the appreciative nodding of her friends. James smiled. Bell never asked questions when she didn't think it was her business to ask, and even most times when she thought it was her business. She greatly respected her friends' privacy and thus they tended to go to her first with confidential admissions or the need for advice on a possibly-embarrassing matter. It was likely why she'd been the only one Remus had told about his feelings for Persephone two years ago and what caused James the most surprise at how Sirius had managed to keep his affections for Bell secret from her for so long. 

"Naturally, this animagi business has to do with the Map. And I, um, I think I know why." That was when James' smile fell. She hadn't included Remus in the question of if he and Peter were animagi. He'd thought it was a good thing at first, but, he realized much too late now, that could only mean- Bell sat up and slipped off of Sirius' lap, coming to stand. She stretched her arms and Sirius looked disappointed at her having moved until he caught James' troubled expression. Bell rubbed her arm with the opposite hand and looked to Remus. James held his breath.

"I think this has to do with the four of you sneaking out every full moon."

Sirius stumbled for words and gave a laugh, trying to feebly play off her words as a joke.

James inhaled too sharply and had to cough as a result.

Peter's cheeks flushed and he stared at the ground, fidgeting with his hands.

Remus gave a soft sigh, seeming unsurprised, to the wonderment of James and, it seemed, everyone else in the room except Bell and their werewolf friend himself.

"You know."