"Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sky was darkening outside by the time Lily Evans walked into her dorm room. She'd been awfully quiet at supper, quite lost in her thoughts, and although Remus had asked her politely if she was alright, frowning, she'd brushed off his worry (though she appreciated it) and said she was just tired. This wasn't entirely a falsehood, as she was quite drowsy, having gotten little sleep last night, but her mind was so full she hardly believed she'd sleep much last night. He seemed to easily accept her defense, as he was also exhausted after the events of last night. By the time dessert appeared on the tables, Peter and Sirius were too busy propping up an asleep James to properly serve themselves anything sweet and so Lily, after giving them portions of what they wanted, decided the moment was right and excused herself.

Her walk to the Gryffindor dorms was a slow one, and Marlene soon caught up to her when she was halfway up the Grand Staircase. On a night when her mind wasn't so busy, she would have already sat down with her homework in the common room and started it, and although Marlene knew that well, she didn't say a word and just walked silently with her friend. People always said Lily was the motherly one of the friend group, but the redhead tended to disagree. For all Marlene's loud, daring behavior, she had an intuition for the feelings of other people, especially her friends, and once you'd befriended Marlene McKinnon, you'd be looked after for life.

Once they'd passed the portrait of the Fat Lady, Marlene had said she'd be up to the dorm in a minute and Lily gladly went ahead. As she changed out of her robes and into her sleepwear, her thoughts turned for the first time that day from James Potter to Bellamy Roac. Where had she been at supper? And when Lily had passed her in the halls that day, she'd seemed distracted, as if her thoughts and feelings were troubling her like Lily's were. As she slipped on an oversized Beatles t-shirt that James had given her last year (he didn't know she slept in it, though, and Lily had gravely threatened her roommates never to tell him), the door opened again and Marlene stumbled into the room, her arms overflowing with things.

"I stole some chocolate from Remus' stash, but he won't mind, I'll replace it later like always, and I've got this big purple blanket that Peter brought to Quidditch that one time- it's a lot bigger than I remember, huh -and James always has that stash of Muggle superhero comics Bell gave him, so I took a few of those-" Marlene paused after dumping all the aforementioned items onto her bed and turned to Lily, who was watching her with a small smile.

"What about homework-"

"Oh, bother homework, we'll do it tomorrow morning in the library. We all have Potions first but Slughorn had McGonagall post on the announcements board in the common room that we'd have a free period instead because of a 'disciplinary issue'." The blonde of the pair sighed and waved her arms at her friend, adding, "Well, go on, get the hot cocoa started! We're having a girl's night, and if Bell's not here in the next five minutes, I swear I'll-"

"You'll what?"

Marlene turned and practically tackled Bellamy in a hug as the third and final of her dormmates nudged the door behind her with her foot. Lily set a kettle of milk to start boiling with a flick of her wand and met Bell's gaze with a soft frown. She seemed even more fatigued and conflicted than Lily, and the redhead's heart sank at the sight of her friend practically collapsing in Marlene's arms. Bell was like a sister to her, and seeing her so weary brought Lily's own spirits down. As Lily got mugs out of the cabinet by the bathroom door, Marlene ushered Bell over to sit on the fluffy bean bags on the floor by the foot of their spare bed. She grabbed the blanket and chocolate but left the comics on her bed, Lily stirred the hot cocoa mix the kitchen house elves had given the girls last year in three mugs with the hot milk, and Bell asked if it was someone's birthday that she'd forgotten, looking like a worried, wide-eyed kitten.

"No, Miss Roac," scolded Marlene gently, "you and Lily are clearly stressed out about some things and we are going to sit down and curl up and talk about it because that's what friends do, help each other out." She waved her wand and the large purple blanket wrapped around all three girls with fuzz to spare as Lily passed around the hot chocolate. "Now-" Marlene gestured with one hand as she slipped the wrapping off a bar of milk chocolate with caramel filling. "-who's going first?"

Lily looked at Bell and saw that her friend was clearly nervous about what she had on her mind. A slight tilt of her head and Lily understood that she didn't want to go first, so the redhead took a deep breath, handed Bell a square of chocolate she'd just snapped off from Marlene's bar, and gathered her thoughts.

"Long story short... I think I fancy James."

Bell and Marlene both froze, their eyes widening. Marlene was the first to respond, and Lily was surprised that she wasn't whooping with excitement or something of the ilk as she'd expected; instead, a smile was growing on her face and she looked genuinely happy at Lily's realization.

"When did you realize this?"

Lily thought for a moment. "Just this morning, really." She blushed, a slight smile coming onto her face. "I, ah, we might have, er, had a moment in the Hospital Wing this morning."

Bell blinked, clearly surprised, then asked, her eyes narrowing, "Was this while I was asleep?"

Lily nodded. "Yes." She was about to make a teasing comment on how Bell and Sirius had looked so very cute all snuggled up together, but the feeling that Bell's concerns had to do with her ebony-haired best friend stalled her words. "I was tired, he was being unusually sweet." She paused a moment. "No, that's not right. I mean... he wasn't flirting, or asking me for a date, he was just being kind and... and it was nice." The blush on her cheeks deepened a little as Marlene snapped off another piece of chocolate and handed it to Bell, both their gazes affixed on Lily, clearly invested in the story.

"And I was sitting on the end of the bed he was sitting on, and he moved aside, and he patted the spot next to him, and I wasn't sure if I should, but I..." Lily trailed off and wondered for a long moment. There had been something in that moment that had told her it was alright to trust him like that, but what? It took her a bit, and she was thankful that Bell and Marlene were silently patient, but when it came to her, a smile leaped onto her face.

"I saw something in his eyes that told me it was okay." She blushed again, not for the first nor the last time that evening. "And so I moved there, and his hand was right next to mine, and his shoulder was right there, and I-" She gave a soft laugh. "I don't need to make excuses anymore, do I? I wanted to, so I leaned on his shoulder and when he tried to, I let him hold my hand." Lily smiled gently, fondly, at the memory.

"He's always said he loves me, but I guess I- I guess I didn't ever believe it until today." Marlene gave an 'aww' and Bell reached out to pat her friend's arm, a smile appearing on her face for the first time that evening. Lily gave a breath of laughter before adding, her smile growing a little, "I can't believe I actually fancy him."

"I can!" Bell's hazel eyes sparkled with amusement, that familiar spark of light flooding back into them, and Lily shared a relieved glance with Marlene. If the redhead had been ponderous about her newfound feelings for James, her brunette friend seemed like she was about to combust with anxiety and exhaustion, and Lily (along with Marlene, she could tell) was glad to see her usual energy returning, even if it was only for a moment or two.

"So can I," chimed in Marlene, and Lily nudged both her friends in mock exasperation. 

"Alright, alright, enough about me and that Potter boy," Lily joked and turned her gaze to Bell, whose own smile was starting to fade as she realized it was her turn to speak. She took a sip of hot cocoa and seemed to practically shrink into the fluff of the purple blanket around her shoulders. Her eyes started to water and Marlene took Bell's hand as Lily reached out to hold her friend's wrist (she didn't want to spill the hot cocoa Bell was holding). Bell met each of their gazes for a moment before her eyes dropped to the floor and she gave a shaky sigh.

"I'm scared."