WARNING: Sad shit ahead! 

Enjoy reading!

<3

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I stared at the memorial stone of Hiruzen, having been dispatched from the hospital.

I missed the funeral. Apparently I went into a state of shock and panicked. They had to restrain me. 

I don't remember what happened and I don't want to. 

Some things are better left unsaid. Naruto was mourning as well but with the entire team fussing over him, he was getting better.

Naruto and the Hokage had grown distant anyways so it wasn't as devastating. 

Konohamaru and Asuma took it surprisingly well, vowing to become stronger. They cried but were better now. I'm pretty sure they are still depressed.

As for me? 

I'm not sure how I was. In the span of a year I lost three people. Hell it wasn't even a year.

I arrived in Konoha in the month of February. After a month of schooling our batch graduated and we became genin. Two months later we got the Zabuza arc. It was May then. The Chunin Exams got over in the last week of September. 

Now it was 1st October. Naruto's birthday was coming up and so was mine. My birthday was on the 12th.

Basically, in the span of 8 months I lost important people. 

I hadn't even gotten over mourning my own parents death when Sakura's parents and Hiruzen died.

It was killing me. 

When I look at myself in a mirror, I see a girl with dark circles and a pale face staring back. I hadn't been eating well and I had nightmares every time I slept. 

It was getting worse and I couldn't even sleep no matter how tired I was.

My body had grown painfully thin and I avoided everyone like the plague. I kept a silencing seal and lock on my door so that Sakura and Naruto couldn't trouble me.

I laid the white flowers on his grave. 

Why did he die?

That was one question repeating in my head for ages now. Asking around I heard its due to his old age and stress of the attack. 

I didn't believe it. He was planning to retire and nothing major was coming up anyways.

As a result, I snooped around.

"It was so sudden." The nurse said tearfully as she told Ibiki what happened. 

"I entered his room and he was dead. His mouth was wide open a- and we took a test. It showed nothing out of the ordinary."

Ibiki observed her. "Its not wise to lie to me."

She stammered. "I-I found some drug in his blood stream but I couldn't identify what it was. It was nothing I'd seen before. I took the test after another hour and noticed that the drug wasn't there. It was as if it vanished. I mean its not as if Hokage sama would be poisoned, right? So I didn't tell anyone.. Tell me its not true Morino san."

Her wide blue eyes showed fear and Ibiki slightly softened.

"No one would poison the Hokage. It might've been an error." He lied.

"Yes, yes that's exactly what I thought." She slightly calmed down.

"Can you show me the autopsy report? I still need it." 

The nurse handed her files to him. 

"Thank you for reassuring me. The first test was taken immediately after his death. The second test happened two hours after his death."

Ibiki smiled. "Thank you."

I looked down and saw a small rat running away. At a further glance I saw it had been stained with ink.

I had heard enough.

It was official. I rubbed my eyes and it watered due to the force. I knew my eyes were red now and I couldn't give a rat's shit about my appearance.

It was as if something new was inside me. Something different yet ugly.

I felt emotions much more strongly. Hate, anger, love, blood lust were all fighting inside me.

It was as if a button had been switched on.

I needed revenge and I needed it now. I felt blood lust oozing out of me in waves. It started raining heavily.

Don't worry Hiruzen. 

Just like you, Danzo will have an early death.. 

I walked out of the graveyard. As I walked back home I saw Naruto standing in front of my gate.

"What is it? Move your ass now." I growled.

Naruto looked at me worriedly. 

"Akina chan.. Would you come with us to get that old hag? Ero sennin said you might feel better after seeing her but I don't know why." He scratched his head.

I looked at him blankly. "When?"

He brightened. "We are leaving tomorrow."

"No I wo-" Naruto cut me off with a hug as he snuggled into me.

"What the hell are you doing Naruto?! Get off me." I tried pushing him away but to no avail.

"I used chakra dattebayo!" 

My eyes widened and I looked at him annoyed. "Get off me! I need to go home." 

"No way! If you go home you'll lock yourself in your room and won't eat." He replied stubbornly.

I glared at him as I let KI come out in waves showing my annoyance.

He stuck to me even tighter. 

"It won't effect me. Sakura chan and I have gotten used to you doing that."

Did I really unknowingly let out KI? Well I suppose it was my fault. Every time I remembered Danzo I felt uncontrollable rage overcome me.

"I swear to Kami Naruto if you don't get off me I will hurt you."

"No! Akina chan we are best friends, you said it yourself! You remember that day?" He looked at me with those innocent blue orbs of his.

I walked up to a lonely kid as he sat on the swings alone. It was Naruto.

I poked his head. His hair was really soft. He looked up slightly scared.

"What do you want? I don't have any money!" He shouted at me. Fear was evident in my eyes.

I knelt down to face him and I smiled softly. "I don't want your money. I want to share my bento with you."

"Stop lying! No one wants to do that."

"But I want to." 

His eyes showed mistrust, hurt and fear but I only smiled. He was like a little puppy, hesitant to trust.

Slowly he took the chopsticks from my hand and I gave him a blinding smile. Coaxing him from the swing we both sat down under a tree.

"I'm Akina Senju Uchiha."

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki 'ttebayo." He murmured shyly as he ate my bento. He was obviously very hungry but he was acting polite.

"Take the whole thing. I have one more." I took out my other box, expecting this.

His eyes widened and he shook his head. "N-no. I'm not hungry." Just then his stomach growled loudly and he blushed.

I giggled. "Naruto just take it."

He began eating more food, not able to withstand the hunger. In silence we ate our food. He was shy in the beginning thinking he'd scare me off.

"It was really good dattebayo!" He said smiling widely. I smiled back.

Since that day we sat together in class and walked back home and to school together. I protected him from bullies and he entertained me with his stories. Slowly we began buliding up trust. His dull blue eyes seemed to be sparkling with happiness.

"Akina chan! Can I ask you something?" Naruto said shyly.

I snorted. "Is this about Sakura again? I'm telling you, Naruto you've got to ask her out yourself. I can't ask her out on your behalf!"

He turned serious and I gave him my full attention. It was rare when he was serious.

"Why are you so nice to me Akina chan? I'm a monster." Tears built up in his eyes.

I hugged him tightly, using my chakra to stick to him. 

"Akina chan?"

"I'm healing you with the power of love. Naruto, you aren't a monster. I know you and deep inside you know its true. Ignore those stupid villagers and classmates of ours. They don't know you as well as I do." 

"Get off me Akina chan!"

"No." I said firmly. " Not until you stop crying." 

The drops falling on my shoulders stopped and I used my hands to wipe off his remaining tears.

"Now then. I want to promise you one thing Naruto." 

"What?"

"I promise I'll never leave you or hurt you intentionally. I am your best friend after all." I gave him a grin.

His eyes shone. "We are best friends?"

"Unless you don't want us to be." I teased him.

"N-no Akina chan!" He blushed.

"I will make a promise too!"

I raised my eyebrows slightly amused. "What?"

"I promise to never leave you alone when you need me. I can see you hurting and I may not be great at ninjutsu but I'll heal you with the power of love. I promise that!"

Unknowingly, Naruto helped me heal...

His blue eyes shone with desperation and remembrance.

"I promise I'll never leave you or hurt you intentionally. I am your best friend after all." He recited what I told him. I looked at him shocked. How did he remember something said so long ago?

"That's what you promised me. And I promised to heal you emotionally. Its my duty as your best friend after all! Now I won't let go. Hell, I'll have to sleep with you if you don't talk to me."

I suddenly felt exhausted, as all the emotions came rushing to me in a wave. I blinked my eyes repeatedly trying to get rid of my tears. 

Naruto noticed. "Let them go." He said softly.

"N-no. I haven't cried ever since I got here and I sure as hell won't now." I tried taking in deep breaths to calm myself.

"I'm here with you. You saved us right?" Naruto shot me a smile and my damn broke loose. 

I whimpered softly as tears made their way down my eyes as I sniffed loudly. I fell onto my knees as I dragged Naruto along with me, having held his jacket too tightly.

"Let it go. Scream if you have too." He stopped using his chakra and yet he continued hugging me.

"I-I am sorry. I'm s-so sor-rry!" I cried loudly as tears made their way down faster and faster.

"I failed my parents. I failed Hiruzen. Sakura's parents are dead. Why? What's the point of having seen the future if you can't save them?!" I shrieked into Naruto's chest. We were in front of my house as mud surrounded us, making our clothes dirty.

I cried loudly as the guilt, sadness, anger all came rushing at me. I had been bottling it up way too long and I exploded.

"T-the masked m-man said t-to give m-me over and I refused! If I hadn't t-they'd be alive. If I hadn't changed anything S-Sakura would still have her family. If I hadn't refused that old b-bastard, Hiruzen w-would be alive. Its my fucking fault!"

I felt Naruto hold my shoulders as he shook me violently. 

"Its not your fault Akina chan! You can't control everything. You aren't Kami!" 

"But it is N-Naruto! I failed to save them and I'm scared, so so scared I'll fail to protect you all." 

"You have to trust us and yourself. Who says you are the only one who protects us? We're a team." I heard Sakura's voice.

I looked up to see my team staring at the both of us. Sakura had tears in her eyes. Sasuke was staring at me and Kakashi was glancing at me disapprovingly. 

"Maa Akina. All your team mates learnt about team work except you. Maybe I should administer the bell test again." 

I hiccuped and Naruto chuckled. "What was that sound?"

I shot him a weak glare. "It was a -hic- hiccup!" 

Sasuke helped me get up before he hugged me tightly.

"I don't need your protection."

I fought off another wave of tears.

"We don't need your protection if you torture yourself like this. We care about you, you idiot. So shut up and rest properly and eat. You look ugly."

I nodded weakly as I felt another body join in on the hug.

"Sasuke kun is right. I'll force sensei to kick you off the team if you keep stuff from us again." Sakura looked hurt as she cried. 

Or was that the rain?

Kakashi nodded. "I'll really do that. I need to leave now. Why don't you have some bonding moments?"

As he turned to leave Naruto jumped on him and stuck to him with chakra. Kakashi not expecting this stumbled.

"No sensei! Our team isn't a team without you 'ttebayo. You should stay too!"

"Maa I have some work to take care of." He chuckled nervously not liking the situation he was in.

"What work? Read his porn stash? Sasuke kun please go to his house and destroy them." Sakura scolded.

"Hn. Will do. At least he'll teach us then."

I sniffed. 

Kakashi's eye widened in alarm. "No no! I accept defeat now let me go."

"Carry me inside sensei!" Naruto whooped. Sighing he made his way inside. Sakura and Sasuke guided me inside as a breath of warm air blasted us.

I sat on the table thinking. 

Kakashi could've easily escaped the attack. He wanted to be caught.

Sakura moved around in the kitchen making hot chocolate for us. 

I looked down in the ground. I felt slightly better letting them out, but not much. The pain was going strong. 

I was drenched from head to toe as my floor got dirty. I don't know how the others changed and I didn't care.

"Akina.. please change your clothes. Do you want to take a bath?" Sakura asked me softly.

I stared at her blankly. Tears made their way down again slowly. I shook my head.

Sasuke moved to hold my hand and squeezed it tightly sending a bolt of lightning through me to jolt me from my trance. 

The weak lightning jutsu barely affected me. 

Kakashi got up and carried me to my room, Naruto guiding him. Sakura forced me to take bath as she left out comfortable clothes for me to wear on the bed and walked out.

I forced myself to take bath with warm hot water. I curled up into a ball and let tears fall freely again as the hot water falling from the shower wiped away all evidence of me crying in the first place.

I felt broken.

No thoughts were going on in my mind as I blankly stared at my hands. 

Come on Akina. Get up.

Yume...

Get up. You can do it.

Slowly, I made my way up.

Good. Now get out of the shower and wrap the towel around you.

I did exactly as she said.

Now, wear your clothes and apply lotion. Do you want to sleep?

No.

Then go down. You isolated yourself enough.

Like a mindless robot I made my way down. It seemed as if the others were having a serious discussion. My name escaped them a few times and they shut up as they saw me stare at them.

"Akina chan, I forgot to ask you but what are these files? I found it on your desk."

Looking up I saw the classified files and I bolted. Naruto's eyes widened as I snatched it from his grip within a second and hugged it to my body taking a step back from them in horror.

"Did you guys read it!" I shouted at them furiously.

"N-no." Naruto stammered out.

I counted the number of files making sure there weren't any missing. I looked at Sasuke's face. He was confused.

I felt relieved. He didn't see anything. Clutching the files to my chest I sat down and brought my legs to my body for my chin to rest on my knees.

They looked shocked. Shocked that I displayed so much of emotion over a few files.

"What was in that file?" Kakashi asked. He looked at me in horror and his eyes flickered to Sasuke.

I stiffened.

He saw the file didn't he?

I shook my head. "Its.. all a mess. I won't disclose anything for if I do, the future will change."

"Why did you tell me about Itachi then?"

"You will get your revenge Sasuke." Just not on Itachi.

He seemed satisfied as he hned. 

"Kakashi sensei, I need to talk to you privately. Can the rest of you stay here?" I whispered.

We can't take a chance Yume.

I know. I'm sorry.. but you need to do it.

They nodded mutely and I led Kakashi up to my room as I placed the seals for silencing and locked the door.

"What are you doing with Itachi's file?" He asked icily.

"Straight to the point huh sensei." I gave him a wry smile. "Itachi didn't murder his clan for power. He murdered them because of a coup." 

I handed him the file and his eyes widened in horror as he read everything. He sat down on the bed shocked.

"All this..." He was speechless. I took the files and hid it under my shirt.

"And Sasuke doesn't have a clue at all." I stated.

"You need to tell him."

"Oh I will. Just not now." I gave him a sad smile.

"Then what will you do?"

".. Convince him to come back by blackmailing him and killing Danzo."

"That old fucking bastard." Kakashi muttered. He was never one to swear but when he did it meant he was furious.

Sure enough I could feel his agitated chakra.

"But sensei.."

He looked at me as I walked towards him and sat next to him. I gave the impression that I wanted to hug him and he relaxed.

"I'm sorry. The thing is you won't remember this conversation until much later when everything is done." 

With that I knocked him out with a chop on his neck. He fainted.

I mentally thanked Inoichi and began my work.

"Akina.." 

"Oh, Inoichi sama!" I looked at him slightly confused. Why was he talking to me?

"I have erased everyone's memory except Kakashi and Tenzou. I will erase mine as well."

"Oh. That is for the best. But why?"

He slightly paused considering what to say. 

"It will hinder you."

I looked down sadly. "I would've appreciated some help."

He gulped looking furious for a second before calming himself down. 

"Tell you what. The Yamanaka Clan techniques are special but that doesn't mean an outsider can learn them."

"You are willing to tell me clan secrets?"

He smiled. "I won't remember it and I trust that you'll use it well. In case you want to remove someone's memory it will be useful."

I gasped. "Teach me please!"

Since that day Inoichi began training me in secret about a few basic techniques. After two weeks I learnt the basic memory removal jutsu but I couldn't do it as well due to lack of practice. I also learnt another jutsu which was to go through another's mind.

"That should be enough. I can't tell you everything." He chuckled.

I bowed. "Thank you, shisou."

"Now a warning. Since you are new, your victims will remember the memory again after a few years. Its slightly risky since you aren't a Yamanaka."

I nodded. 

"You should go. Never mention this to anyone, especially to us clan heads."

His blue eyes so much like Ino's bore into mine.

"Stay safe." 

Tears ran down my eyes as I looked through Kakashi's memories for this conversation. I began reading them and felt extremely guilty for the invasion of privacy.

Looking at a memory I went in it.

"Sensei I'm so worried about Akina." Sakura confided.

Naruto looked down nodding.

"She's strong. She'll get through it." Sasuke said as he closed his eyes and rested his chin.

Sakura fidgeted. "I had no idea how a pain it is to know the future."

"Its a curse and a boon." Kakashi said. 

Being his memory I felt his emotions. He felt terribly sad not being able to help us and most of all he felt helpless.

"I saw some files lying on Akina chan's desk which said classified." Naruto held up a file which said Yamanaka Ryouta.

"We shouldn't go through her stuff." Sakura feebly protested extremely curious.

Unknowingly Sasuke leaned towards the file. 

Kakashi was intrigued. 

"I'm reading it!" With that Naruto opened the file and began to read it.

Kakashi grabbed the file and read it out loud but stopped as he reached the offense.

Curiosity filled him. Why did Akina have those files?

"Tell us sensei!" Naruto urged.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Akina-" Just then he heard a door open and close. I presumed I was coming down the stairs.

Ushering them to be quiet he threw the file at where Naruto had kept the others but not before catching a name.

Itachi Uchiha 

Then the whole conversation flowed out.

I sighed as I began cutting the conversation. If I was in Earth, it would've been similar to cutting and editing a video before posting it.

Now Kakashi would only remember Yamanaka Ryouta and me calling him upstairs. There I created a new memory for him. 

After he entered my room he banged his head on my open wardrobe and fainted. 

I panted heavily. Mind techniques were extremely hard and painstakingly difficult to do. I had newfound respect for Ino to do it easily.

Half an hour had passed. It was time.

I poked Kakashi and he opened his eyes groaning.

"Akina, what happened? My head feels weird and fuzzy."

I smiled apologetically. "You banged your head on the open wardrobe and fainted. Sorry, sensei."

He looked extremely confused but didn't question it.

We walked out to see them all asleep on different sofas.

"Sensei, help me put them to sleep?"

He sighed before ruffling my hair. 

"Anything for my little genin."

One by one Kakashi put them in their respective rooms.

He laid Sasuke down in my bed and chuckled.

"I don't want any little babies running around any time soon."

My mouth twitched. "Nah. I'll just cuddle with him. Night sensei."

"Night Akina." With that Kakashi shunshined out of my room.

I got in the bed with Sasuke and covered the blanket on us. Sasuke opened his eye and stared at me. He gave kissed me on my forehead and brought me closer to him.

I really need sleep.

Sleep.. I'll try and control the nightmares..

That night was a sleepless one for me.

Hey!

This chapter was depressing as fuck. Honestly while writing it I cried and Im not that emotional. I legit had to take a breather and get back to my positive self before writing it again.

A real tearful chapter this one. 

....

lowkey feeling like writing a Naruto X reader fanfic now

Naruto is such a sweet kid and he deserves Hinata! 

Q: Y'all ship NaruHina? Ik some people hate it but idk why.. 

ANywAyS!

I'm writing Chapter 27 which is in my drafts.. ssksks

This chapter was to show her mental breakdown and bonds with her team. It was boring, Ik but things heat up.

A new arc is coming soon, created by me!

Itachi is coming next chapter! Whoo hoo finally.

The Akatsuki finally act in Chapter 25!

Have you noticed that this book is ranked highest in Itachi even when he hasn't appeared yet? Lmaoo I honestly wonder how the rankings work..

Slowly Akina's character is changing and she's going dark.. You'll see by the 26th chapter. The deaths are effecting her a lot. 

Instead of Sasuke going dark its my baby oc Akina herself!