100 K...

Man.. I don't even know what to say..

Rant at the end!

Okay, and this chapter is not a part of the regular story line. Its a 'What if' scenario.

It will be the Akatsuki members (Deidara, Hidan, Kisame and Itachi) exploring the 'new device'.

ENJOY MY LOVELY CHUNIN! 

Fair warning. They are slightly ooc in this. 

Also, I am not bashing ItaSasu.

Okay, maybe I am so please don't get offended. 

I'm warning you now.

UNEDITED

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Pain called us into the meeting room.

For what, no one knows.

Pushing against the taller figures, I popped up in the front next to Deidara, brushing his long hair aside. 

"What the hell is that?"

"Its big."

A snicker. "That's what she said."

A smack followed by an ouch.

"It has.. wires attached to it. Ninja wires?"

"No, they seem to be insulated using a plastic cover."

My eyes were wide. Kisame turned to me.

"Akina, are you crying?"

I sniffled. "Yeah, I am. I know this baby."

The members exchanged looks with each other and Pain cleared his throat catching our attention.

"The Land of Gijutsu has created a new device and they call it a computer." 

Deidara moved slightly and noticed the puddle of water below him. He turned to me incredulously.

"Stop crying, un!"

A fountain was erupting from both my eyes.

"I can't. Leader sama, may I explain this beautiful piece of technology to the uneducated swines behind me?"

Pain glanced at the blank screen and then to me.

"I want to know what this is as well. Apparently instead of using paper, we can use this.. device to store information."

I giggled.

Shivers went up everyone's spines and Kisame whispered something to Itachi.

"I... somehow don't like this."

Itachi nodded in agreement.

"Gather around me, uneducated children. I shall introduce you to the fandom. Who wants to do useless shit such as storing information? This baby has internet access and we're about to do a whole lotta shit such as dealing with ships."

"Ships? No Akina we do not want to buy a ship." Kakuzu said, narrowing his eyes at me.

I turned on the computer and waited patiently for it to start.

"Its not exactly a ship. Its a pairing fangirls make."

"Fangirls?" 

"Akina no."

"Don't worry Itachi, babe. You've got one of the biggest ships of all." I patted his shoulder comfortingly and clicked on Google Chrome using the mouse.

"This is called a mouse." I said holding it up.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MOUSE?! I'LL FUCKING BLOW IT TO PIECES, HM!" Deidara backed up against a wall and he searched for it on the ground.

"....Hopeless idiots." I muttered and typed in a site.

"Akina, come to my office later. Kakuzu, grab Zetsu and come with me. I have a job for you both." Pain said, glancing at the winged paper bird.

Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan and I were now the only members left.

"Great! I didn't know any Zetsu or Kakuzu fanfictions anyways. I never read anything about them." 

"Read about them?"

"Fanfictions?"

"Wattpad dot com?"

"The fuck is this?"

I grinned and clapped my hands together. 

"Lets start with Itachi hm?"

"Wait, what? Why me?"

Licking my lips, I clicked on the first book.

"Itachi X Reader?" Deidara glanced at the title.

"The fuck is going on?"

"Wait, are we the reader?" 

I nodded at Kisame's question.

"Whenever it mentions X Reader it means that Itachi and the reader fall in love together."

All eyes turned to Itachi and he gave me a small glare before looking away.

"I do not have time for such pesky activities."

Kisame nudged him with his elbow, smirking. 

"Why don't we give it a read, yeah?"

"I'm in, un!"

"HAHAHA! This is gonna be fucking amazing."

"Oh yes, it is." You beamed.

Neither of them noticed the warning labelled 'mature' and you let out a leery grin inside your mind.

Oh my, I'm turning into Jiraiya. 

Not that I mind it...

As our eyes ran across the screen, I checked the paragraphs for grammar.

It was perfect and I let out a small grin.

"Wait- Itachi actually did that?!" Hidan choked with laughter.

"Oh shut up, un. I'm not there yet."

Kisame howled with laughter and I giggled. 

"Itachi, did you actually wear neko ears?"

A tense pause.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Then a small voice spoke.

"....Hai."

His ears tinged red.

"And you also baked a cake at the ripe age of 8?"

"I am culinary disabled." He answered honestly.

"W-what the fuck is that?" Kisame chuckled.

"Oh thank Kami. If he'd said yes again, I would've died due to laughter." I gave him a cheeky grin.

"Now, on to the next few chapters!"

"A time skip?" Hidan questioned. 

"10 years passed within five lines like damn."

"Hey, I wanna know what happened in that time skip to Y/N, un! How annoying."

"Its okay my dears. Now's when the romance starts. Authors do that to focus when the characters are 16 because for some reason people start falling in love then. Its not 18 or-or even 23. It has to be 16." 

"You seem kinda ticked off, un."

"Let's just continue reading it."

Deidara gasped loudly. "Snap sister! Go Y/N, go Y/N!" 

"Dude, you know its supposed to be you right?"

He glanced at Itachi and wrinkled his nose in distaste. 

"No way will I ever fall in love with a bastard like him, un! I'd prefer it to be.. Y/N."

I quickly closed the Deidara X Itachi tabs and looked at the table of contents.

Hidan peered over my shoulders to glance at the screen.

"Lemon?"

"The best part of the whole fic. Itachi should read this."

Itachi glanced at me suspiciously. 

"Hn.."

"HE DOES THAT IN THE FIC TOO!" 

I gulped tensely as I saw the shirtless picture of Itachi on the chapter and the fun mood died out.

"Um, why do I feel like something is going to happen?" Kisame looked at me.

Damn you males..

I can't read this lemon in peace because I'll feel uncomfortable!

But that never stopped me before.

"Just enjoy the dick."

"The what?!"

The five of us read it slowly, our eyes wide. Kisame gulped various times and Deidara had an ever glowing blush on his cheek.

I felt satisfied.

Damn these lemons.

When well written, they seem to do wonders.

Itachi had a poker face on however his eyes were screaming blood murder.

Hidan tapped Itachi's shoulder and he flinched before clearing his throat.

"Hidan?"

"Is your dick really that big?"

"Do you actually like span-" Kisame cut off Deidara's question and his beady little eyes turned to me.

"What is it?" I gave a cute smile.

"Do you females actually feel that way?"

"The better question here is... do you have nothing better to do?" Itachi's sharingan had been activated and he was on the verge of killing me.

I chuckled.

"Yes to both your questions. Now, the next chapter!"

Deidara got up and glared at Itachi.

"I swear to fucking Kami, Uchiha, you hurt my Y/N and I will crush your balls."

"Wait, its only a fic." Hidan whispered in my ear.

"The fandom got him." I whispered back.

"Once you enter the fandom, there's no getting out for a long time." I looked down at my feet, shadows covering my face. I clutched the table tightly.

"Its as if... as if all the light in the world has disappeared. You're stuck in darkness- a never ending chain of reading whether it be day or night."

Kisame sniffed. "A fighting soldier has been struck."

"Then, once the books are done, you feel empty inside and try to recreate that very feeling by making your own book. However, not many make it far. They get distracted and join other fandoms. Its a crime not to finish the book."

"They should be punished."

"Our heart and soul goes into these books.. Anyways, Deidara has a long way to go and its going to hurt. I'm a survivor and all I can say is all the best."

Deidara gulped in fear.

"Next chapter... hearts broken?" I read the title.

"UCHIHA I FUCKING TOLD YOU! KATSU BITCH!"

"NOT THE COMPUTER!" The three of us shrieked.

I glared at the males in question.

"Deidara, apologize."

"Uchiha bastard... sorry for trying to blow you up, un.."

"Itachi." 

"Must I really do this? Its not my fault. Its his." Itachi pointed at the screen in disbelief.

The four of us glared at him and he sighed.

"I'm sorry for breaking Y/N's heart."

I nodded sharply. "Good."

"Akina, what is this?" Hidan whispered.

I looked at the computer screen worriedly and gasped loudly.

"No... I-it says last updated... March 2015. We are in September 2019...." 

A ball of depression surrounded our heads.

"To another Itachi fic." Hidan announced.

They brightened up.

This time, it'll be yaoi.

Hm?

Itachi and Sasuke seems nice.

Wai-

UCHIHACEST?!!

I grinned.

"Welp, wait for a while. We're coming, Satan. We're all going to hell."

"Wait... what's this book? It shows a picture of Itachi and some kid hugging, hm."

"Is this a romance?" Kisame looked at me.

I glanced at Itachi. "What do you think its about?"

"As it shows a picture of my otouto and I, I'd like to assume its a fiction where I haven't massacred the clan and how we grow up?"

"...close enough. The massacre still happens."

"So he forgives me?" 

"... Let's just read this."

Hidan narrowed his eyes at me. 

"Why does it not look like a normal hug?"

"Because it isn't." I answered simply, clicking on the read button.

"Prologue.." Deidara murmured the title and began reading the chapter, murmuring the words softly to himself breaking the silence.

"They look so similar.." Hidan shook his head.

Kisame's beady eyes finally widened enough to show the whites of his eye.

"Because they're sib-siblings."

A Few Chapters Later..

"A-Aniki..." Sasuke moaned as his brother licked-

I screamed and covered my eyes.

I can't read this anymore..

Kisame spat the orange juice in his mouth on Hidan's face.

"YOU LITTLE FISHTARD! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM BITCH?!"

"HEY, BLAME AKINA!"

"Oy, don't blame this shit on me. This picture-" 

I pointed at the obnoxious picture of the Uchiha brothers on the screen, making out.

"-is the fangirls. Its the darker side of the fandom."

"It actually looks sexy, hm." Deidara muttered.

.

.

.

"Did I just say that out loud?!"

Itachi had promptly fainted on the floor a few chapters ago as soon as it had said these words.

I feel as if.. I am in love with my otouto.

I must have him.

Even though its wrong.

Even if it means sacrificing everyone.

I was told as a ninja to not have any feelings, to be a tool for the Hokage.

I can't do that. 

Sasuke is everything to me.

"I mean, he left Sasuke as the only survivor! So it kinda makes sense?" Deidara tried to rectify his earlier words, however it just became worse.

Hidan shivered. "THEY'RE FUCKING BROTHERS! Oh Kami.. I can't even say 'fucking brothers'. "

"Looking at Itachi on the floor like that, I'm positive this shit's made up."

I nodded and wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"In fact, this is my first time reading an ItaSasu fanfiction. I've never read one before." 

"T-they have a ship name for us?" Itachi muttered weakly as sweat formed on his forehead. He got up, his face looking paler than usual.

Kisame gave his partner a pitying glance.

"We still have to cover Itachi X Izumi, Itachi X Kisame-"

"WAIT, WHAT?!!!"

"BAAHAHAHAH! KISAME'S FACE, UN!"

"- Itachi X Deidara-"

Hidan lost his shit.

"Who is laughing now, bitches!"

"-Itachi X Sakura, Itachi X Naruto and Itachi X Kakashi."

The said Uchiha just groaned.

"Huh, you're shipped with the whole of Team 7 as I just realized."

"None of this.. makes sense. Can we move on please? I feel as if I will murder the fangirls."

"Wait." Kisame narrowed his eyes at me.

"You were a part of Team 7, aren't you? So why aren't you shipped with Itachi?"

The three of them sent me a curious look and I sheepishly glanced away.

I'm not... really a part of Team 7.

"I don't know."

He scoffed. "You definitely know something but I'll let it slide."

I sighed. "Fine, lets emit Itachi for a while and travel to the next target.. Deidara!"

"Why me, un?!"

"Because you have a large fanbase as well.

He smirked. "That's because I'm fabulous, yeah."

"That being said, you have the most yaoi fanfics." 

He turned white and crumbled into pieces.

Itachi chuckled. 

"Let's read his."

"Feeling evil?" I smirked.

"I'm going to enjoy and relish their horror struck faces." He gave me a humorless smile.

"Atta boy." 

Deidara peered into the screen.

"Why gay?! And who?!"

"Um, lets see. Itachi, Tobi, Hidan and of course, Sasori!"

"DANNA?!!"

You literally called him 'Master' or 'husband'. 

What did you expect from the fandom?

"Oh damn, should've seen that coming." Hidan snapped his fingers.

"But then.. Deidara is shipped often with Kurotsuchi and of course, Y/N."

"Oh.." His voice had grown unnaturally small after the mention of his former friend.

"Well, Y/N would be kinda weird. I mean, it'd be like.. dating myself."

"You aren't a girl."

"You had no problem with ItaSasu so why'd you have a problem with this?" I spoke.

"AKINA STAY OUT OF THIS HM!"

I continued speaking.

"You're also a female in certain popular troupes. Its usually a fem! Deidara X Sasori book."

He shuddered in disgust. 

"Oh Kami... 

Itachi pointed at the screen. "That book seems interesting."

"Trial of Man? Haven't read it."

"Lets read the summary." Kisame nodded and I clicked on the book.

After a few seconds, I nodded. 

"Seems interesting. And it looks like the grammar is okay."

"What the fuck is up with you and grammar, stripes?"

"I just can't stand books without proper grammar." I shrugged.

Deidara made a cross sign with his hands.

"No fucking way. I'm a girl."

"Don't be a pussy and read it." Kisame scowled.

"I managed to survive a few chapters of the incest book. This is certainly easier." Itachi spoke.

"You survived the prologue and it was like three lines only. So shut the fuck up." I mumbled.

"... you will never understand my pain."

I clicked on the icon and the first chapter opened up.

After a few minutes of reading, Deidara spoke up.

"This.. is not so bad- wait, danna made an appearance. I take it back, the book sucks."

"Uchiha style? Obito Uchiha?" Itachi murmured it softly.

"A taijutsu battle... without chakra?" Kisame wondered, confused.

"Its an Alternate Universe-that's what AU stands fo-"

"HOW DARE HE CALL ME A BRAT WITH NO TASTE OF ART?!"

We sighed. 

"The book... it can't end like that! They're dead!" Kisame cried and Hidan turned away, as something glistened on his cheeks.

"I.. have no comments."

Itachi turned away, his fists shaking with rage. "They killed her and tortured us."

Deidara had fallen on to his knees, a lost look in his eyes.

"Dammit, this shitty book hurts, un."

"I know, lets read something light hearted." I tried to console them. 

How would I know there was fucking angst?

"I found a Deidara and Itachi lemon-"

"NO!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

The four males panicked and backed up against the wall, in four different directions.

"Alright, so which one of you motherfuckers liked the ItaSasu lemon? Tell me!" Hidan roared.

"Wait, there was a lemon?!" Itachi shuddered with disgust, almost shouting out the question in panic.

He was obviously taken out of the equation and he returned to sit next to me. 

I gave him a wry smile. "Do you know who did it?"

"Yes, however for our entertainment I shall let this continue."

"Its Deidara, right?" I looked at my blonde friend, chuckling at his blushing face.

"No."

"No? Then who?"

Itachi sighed. "Kisame..your perverted friend who reads Icha Icha."

"Oh, now that you mention it, I do remember reading a yaoi lemon in Icha Icha."

"Wait, I need to go. I'll be back in a few!" Giving them a smile, I left the room to visit the washroom.

Returning back, I saw the looks on their faces and narrowed my eyes.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing at all." Kisame said smoothly and gestured me to sit next to him.

Shrugging, I turned back to the computer and typed in something in the google search bar.

"You know what, let's just go into the cliches which I despise with the bottom of my heart!" I glared at the screen.

"Wh-why are all the love interests Uchihas? Or the nine tailed Jinchuriki?" Hidan asked, looking at the covers of all the books. 

I glanced at Hidan. "Oh yeah, because they are the most... um... desirable bachelors?" 

I can't say you're in an anime. Although, they'll probably find out.

"Hey! We're single and ready to mingle too!" Hidan bellowed and smirked.

"Ah, about that. Hidan and Kisame, you do have many fics about you however, I haven't read any."

He glared at me, bringing his face closer to mine. 

"And why not? On top of that, how do you know so much about Deidara and Itachi?"

A slow flush spread over my face and Kisame leered at me.

"Oho! Looks like we got ourselves an Itachi fangirl!"

"W-wait a minute!"

Itachi inched away from me, ever so slightly.

"I'm one of the normal ones."

"Who reads smut and lemons!" Deidara shrieked.

My face burned red and I blanched.

"Its-its.. I mean.. I'm not that type-what am I saying?" 

"She's so flustered she can't talk!" Hidan bellowed and Kisame grabbed the mouse from me, typing a name into the search bar, pushing me behind him.

"What are you- SKR-!" Blood dripped down my nose and I went flying back.

Itachi stared intensely at the screen. 

"How did they even find this?"

Deidara was laughing so hard, his body was shaking with silent laughter.

"Itachi, are you really that kinky?" Hidan stared at the screen.

"You guys are searching for the wrong thing." He murmured and used the search bar again.

I stood up on my shaky legs and staggered towards them.

"You guys..."

Another spray of blood erupted from my nose and I turned around with a squeak.

"No no no-!"

Anything but that... not those type of pictures!!!

"SHE LOST IT! YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT PATH ITACHI!"

He smirked. "Its time to tease her."

Deidara finally got up and looked at the screen.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS DANNA DOING TO ME?!"

"It looks so real, I would believe its true."

"How do you know it isn't?" Hidan countered Kisame.

NOT YAOI!

"Okay, the first thing wrong with that picture is that I'd never be bottom hm."

"THAT'S what you see wrong?" Hidan looked at him incredulously.

"Can you guys stop?!" I turned to them, a tick mark on my forehead and cotton in my nose.

"No." They answered harmoniously and turned to it again.

They whispered among each other vigorously before every one nodded.

I'm scared..

Stuffing the fear down, I grabbed Deidara and flung him aside.

"What is it-" I stopped mid sentence.

"Really, guys?" I turned to each and every one of them, my eyes unforgiving and cold.

"I mean, we want some fan service too!"

"Itachi... you too?" I shot him a withering glare.

"No comment." He looked away.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LOOKING AT THAT! PERVERTS!" 

In front of me were some very obscene pictures of Konan nee. 

She was in no clothes whatsoever, only papers covering her private parts and the wings of an angel around her.

Heart eyes appeared in all but Itachi's eyes.

I chuckled. "How cute, a bunch of kohai lusting over their senpai."

Somewhere, Pain and Konan sneezed.

"YOU DON'T GET TO TALK!" Kisame pointed a finger at me and continued speaking.

"YOU'RE THE BIGGEST PERVERT OF THEM ALL!"

"Fine, jeez." I held up my hands in mock surrender and they closed the page.

Hidan had not stopped to blink even once, trying to imprint the image into his brains.

"She's so hot."

"Who was the red haired guy next to her? I thought it'd be Leader sama kissing her, not him."

They are one and the same.

I sweat dropped.

Deidara turned to me, an evil glint in his eyes.

"You know what we haven't done yet? Search for Akina, un!"

I smirked and looked at them, with a haughty look.

"Try and see what happens, peasants."

I don't exist..

They did it anyways and two links to wattpad showed up.

I looked at it, confused and they clicked on the link to 'Saisei'.

"Wait, what?" 

I was so confused.

We silently read the description and I gasped at the canniness.

"This sounds exactly like Akina, un."

"I'll read it."

"Me too."

"I'm all for it. I need some blackmailing shit."

"Let's Begin this Shit?" Kisame read the title and chuckled.

"This author cusses a lot." Hidan said after a while.

"What's ooc?" Itachi turned to look at me.

"Out of character..." I murmured.

"Chapter one.... Rebirth because Death made an oopsie?"

This can't be-!

Well, fuck my life. 

Those were the first words in the chapter.

And the last thoughts I had before I died.

The chapter had each and every single detail up to the Thanos reference- everything was there for the world to see.

"Oh, this seems different. They called us anime characters! Hahaha! That's a nice one. I'd like to give the author props for thinking of this." Hidan snickered.

Kisame looked at me.

"What if you were actually reincarnated? "

"Her love interests are Sasuke and Itachi, oho!" Deidara clapped his hands.

"She's really a fangirl though. She wanted to be reborn as the Copy Cat's daughter."

"Huh, this doesn't seem ooc at all."

I sighed.

There's only one thing left to do now.

"Lightning Style: Strikes of Thunder!" I made the hand signs and fried the computer.

The screen blacked out immediately.

The boys turned to look at me, disbelief in their eyes.

"Whoops?" I smiled innocently.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"So in conclusion, the device sucks." I told Pain.

He frowned. "Tell Kakuzu to get a refund and kill that man."

Konan looked at me. "What was wrong with it, exactly?"

"Well... as soon as Deidara touched it, it blew up, injuring most of us. I luckily was in the back and didn't suffer much damage."

"We understand. You may leave now."

I bowed and left the room.

Well, the crisis was successfully averted!

He he!

How're you guys today?

I'd like to apologize for such a lousy chapter.

I just feel like its not good enough for you guys!

But then, I really wanted to do such a scenario.

The ending was slightly inspired by @brookellemarie in her book!

So the creds for the ending all go to her.

Time for the rant!!!

100 fucking thousand?!

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!

I cried, I kid you not.

Like, HOW DOES THIS BOOK HAVE SO MANY READS?!!!

But anyways...

Thank you for your support.

I really can't express how much it means to me.

It really touches my heart to see so many people reading this book.

I thought of doing an ItaSasu scenario in the middle but then I felt sad for you guys XD.

I also had tons of Kisame and Hidan fanfics. I read loads of them on fanfiction.net however the chapter was getting too long (7K words) and I seriously doubt y'all would read so much.

So I took out ItaSasu and a couple more fics from Deidara and Itachi as well.

I'm sad to say that this will be the last update until.. 25/9/19.

I KNOW ITS A LONG ASS TIME!

However, my exams will be going on and its starting on the 9th. 

-.-"

I'll see if I can update in between. 

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH SKSKS-

Please wait for my return patiently.

~Blue 

💙💜

PS: Y'all are welcome to PM me and ask for teasers XD