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─────────genya's memoir

I admired my sister's bravery to talk about her feelings. She was always so closed-up with me and I couldn't blame her – I was just happy to know she was alive and well.

When she approached me about the Darkling's wish to court her, I was struck like lightning, but I wasn't surprised. I knew that the King was interested in my sister – Saints, I was there when she was introduced, and he was looking at her with the same greedy eyes he gives me in the dark nights. It was a crossover where she must choose between the two evils. Worst of all, I actually thought that the Darkling was the lesser evil.

It was weird for me to think of the General from a better perspective. As much as I didn't like him, as much as I didn't understand his behaviour towards my sister, I could see that she was somehow enchanting him. The Darkling I know would've never suggested to court someone to save them from the King's eye. The Darkling I know would've never cared to repent for his sins, yet he followed Liya like a lost puppy.

Even I, at that moment, wondered if my perception of his ability to love was wrong. I knew that Liya had nothing to offer to him except for her weaknesses that he has used against her. The Darkling always wished for power and my beloved sister was just a pawn in his chess match, but for some reason, he chose her as a Queen.

I must admit, I didn't want to believe that my sister might develop anything sincere for that man. But the way she approached me, only showed how painful it was for her to feel something for him. I shouldn't judge, I shouldn't judge the fact that she fell for the man that has brought so much pain into her life because she beats herself already about it.

I didn't know what to expect from his courting. Saints, I have only seen hilarious courting in the Grand Palace, but it was mostly skinny men coming from the neighbouring countries to woo the queen even if she was married. But well, it was a fun activity for her.

Perhaps, I wasn't ready to accept the fact that his feelings for my sister were sincere. Perhaps, I wasn't prepared to see the way he smiles around her. Perhaps, I wasn't ready to see the way he always reached his hand out to her so she would never have to feel pain again. Perhaps, I wasn't prepared to see him as a good guy and not the villain.

Perhaps, I should've been the one to stand in the way and let my sister never see him again. I'll always blame myself that I let myself view him from her perspective. Just as I looked at her in the fire.
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