I'm still getting blood out from under my nails but what else is new? It was nice to fall asleep in Ricky's arms, in my own bed. As per usual, he was already off training by the time I woke up. That's quite alright. I wanted to go check on Kuza without him knowing. He's already got to be suspicious after yesterday. It'd be best not to add fuel to the fire.

Kuza's room was dark with only a few warm candles lighting the way. It was nothing out of the ordinary for him. His room is his sanctuary. He likes it very mellow. It always smelled so sweet too, like honey and smoke. I calmly walked over to the side of his bed. He didn't say anything but I could see his eyes following me.

"How're you feeling?" I asked softly.

"Been better." He responded. Kuza groaned slowly as he pushed himself to sit up. He was shirtless, making the bandages over his shoulder visible. They were just changed before I came in here. "I would've been better if I had you here with me last night." He said.

"I'm sorry. I was busy scrubbing pig blood and cow shit off of me." I numbly joked and sat down on the side of his bed. "You would not believe the shit I saw yesterday. This girl, who was supposedly possessed, was tearing apart the town. I didn't think it was real until I got there. She really was possessed. She levitated shit with her mind, threw all of us back about fifty feet."

"I always miss out on the fun missions." Kuza replied, "Did you kill her?"

"Yeah. Ryan-Ashley cut off her head. They did try an exorcism first though. Didn't work, obviously, but while they had her held down, she... said some things, about Ricky and I. And you." I hesitantly told him.

"Me? What did she say?"

"She called you The Devil. Not directly, but she said she knew I cheated on Ricky the night before and that I fucked The Devil. He didn't believe her, actually, until she said that she knew what Ricky did in Paris and that he didn't trust me. Obviously if she knew what I did, she wasn't lying that he did something. I just..." I sighed heavily, "I have no idea what to say to him. If I confront him about it, that means I'm admitting she was right about what she said."

"You are talking about the same man that turned on you and got all of us put in ADX. He's got a history of being two faced. I don't care if you tell him and you shouldn't either. After all he did to you, the bastard better learn to forgive you doing one shitty thing to him."

I raised my eyebrow at him, "One? Just one? You do remember what we did to him in Nevada, right?"

"He deserved it then and apparently he's done something to deserve it now. The one thing he doesn't deserve is you." He replied.

Kuza set his hand on my exposed leg. I was wearing a long dress but it had a slit clean up the side. He ran his hand along my fishnet tights. I hate admitting how much it shook me. He still turns me on even when I don't want him to. It's always when I try to push him away that he has to turn on that evil charm.

"And you do? You broke my back. Or did you think I forgot about that?" I sneered.

"I unfortunately didn't, but I wish I could have. I thought revenge was what I needed but it wasn't. What I really needed was your forgiveness." He raised his hand to my jawline softly, "I thought I had it but I don't think you ever did forgive me."

"I forgive but I do not forget." I replied, "Just because Ricky has hurt me more than you did doesn't make you any better than him."

"I'm not and I'm not trying to say I am. All I'm trying to say is that he's not worth your time. That doesn't mean I am though. I know I've fucked up and I don't deserve you either. I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I will never turn on you again like that."

He had such a sweet voice for someone so evil. It was easy to believe him. In all honesty, I did. In the last three years, he hasn't done a thing to hurt me. Prior to the whole back breaking incident, we were in Graham together for years and we never harmed one another. He's evil but it's fair to say he has a little soft spot for me. I have to admit that goes both ways.

"I know you won't." I whispered, "But I have to keep loving him. It's the only thing keeping us out of prison."

He ran his hand down my back, tracing his fingers across my spine. Kuza grabbed my hand, responding, "You have to tolerate him. That doesn't mean you have to love him." He pulled my hand closer and kissed the back. "When was the last time he made you feel loved?"

I turned my head away, "Mike, we can't keep doing this-"

"Every human needs love to live. It's basic psychology. I just want the best for you." He responded.

I jerked back my hair, "It's not like you're the loving type. You don't ever make love to someone. You just fuck them senseless."

"No one's ever given me the chance." Kuza pushed his hand up my leg again, this time going under my dress. "Please give me a chance."

The offer was tempting. Cheating once, you can call that spear of the moment. Twice is pushing it though. It's not something I can really explain off or reason on. No matter what it was that Ricky did in Paris, two wrongs don't make a right. But fuck, Kuza's cologne smelled so good. I turned my head towards his, connecting our lips. Normally he'd be nibbling at my flesh but he wasn't. He kissed me as soft as he could.

"Mike," I murmured as I pulled back, "This isn't right. I know you're lonely now without Rayne, but I can't be the one to fill the gap in your heart. I have a husband."

He diverted his eyes away from mine, "I understand. I'm sorry I pushed myself on you."

"I'll always be here for you. Just... Not like this." I replied.

"Thank you." He muttered, "I think I should get some more rest."

"Of course. Sleep well." I placed a small kiss on his cheek, then stood up.

He wasn't really tired. I mean, come on. Two seconds ago he was ready to fuck me. His heart is empty, more empty than it started out. We may be evil but even we need love. He'll find someone... somehow. I have no idea how when the only people we ever see are criminals and feds but he's got to find someone eventually. He had someone and he decided to burn her alive. He's only got himself to blame for that one.

I left Kuza to rest and headed to the kitchen to get myself some breakfast. The others were already up and going about their days. It's hard to shift gears after having such a heavy moment with him. No one else really noticed or bothered to ask why I was so late. Ricky walked in the kitchen a moment after I did. He was covered in sweat after coming from just working out. With only a tank top on, I could see his ripped muscles. Fuck, the things he does to me.

"You look really good today." He said, wrapping his arm around my waist from behind. Ricky pecked at my neck, "Good enough to eat."

I giggled and pushed him away, "Thank you, Babe." I turned around to face him. Running my hands up his arm, I purred, "Goddamn you're getting ripped."

"There's other people in the room, you know." Ryan said.

"You're such a buzzkill." Reese replied.

He didn't acknowledge her aside from a dirty glance. Ryan had a notepad beside his plate and he was writing away. He was never not working on something. At least he keeps himself busy. I, on the other hand, enjoy a nice day off like today. Tomorrow it's back to torturing people but today I needed some time to relax.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" I asked Ricky as I walked to the fridge to get some orange juice.

"I've got some work to do but nothing that can't wait. Why?" He asked.

"Hmm, I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie together, cuddle, see where things lead us." I responded.

Ricky pushed me back into the counter by my hips. He smiled and pecked me with a kiss, "That sounds perfect, Baby."

Ryan sighed to himself. I do kind of feel bad. Sometimes. Not really. We all have our weird shit we do that we have to put up with. It's the cost of living together. If I hated sex like him, I'm sure having it on surround sound every night wouldn't be pleasant. On the flip side of that, poor Reese has to live with that shit. She must never get laid. Ricky probably isn't complaining over that fact though.

You know, in three years, I still have yet to meet his parents. They're very much so alive and they both work in the military. How's he supposed to approach that one though? Mom, Dad, I want you to meet my husband. He's killed hundreds of people and we fell in love in prison. Yeah, I'm sure that would go over just great. I obviously don't need a traditional family. I'm happy with the one I have, despite the bones piling up in everyone's closets.

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For anyone that didn't see or here, I have a new story up. It's called 3AM (Sequel to 2AM)